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... Send *essica04 a private message | | | *essica04's profile:I am 23 and live in the U.S. in Las Vegas.
As far as education, I am a senior psychology major with an emphasis on child development, and minor credits in counseling.
As far as my personal life, I have been there and back! I was pregnant at 17, which ended in a miscarriage. I married my H.S. boy friend when I was just 18 and still in school. He was in the U.S. Army and I spent almost 3 years as a military wife. Our relationship was always abusive, and we divorced just over a year ago.
I don't know which part of all that people will count as "credentials" for giving advice, but take it as you will. I have an opinion on just about everything, and I promise all of my readers that I will try my best to offer sound, unbiased advise. But I ask you to take everything I say with a grain of salt. I won't always tell you what you want to hear, but this is an advice site, so you asked.
Most of my advice is based on relationships and basic sex-education questions. I will never speak about that which I have no experience. |
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Pregnant from fingering......?
Q. Okay so me and my gf, who i love very much, were over my house one day. We were in the basement watching a movie cuddling and making out a little when she teased me down into her pants. well long story short i fingered her and thats it, she di...
A. 22 March 2009: At her age she should regularly be seeing a gynocologist, and if she's having sex, or thinking about it, then getting on the birth control pill will help her periods regulate, so she won't have to freak out any more.
I've never heard of seasonal... (read in full...)
Too paranoid? Or should I be concerned?
Q. well im on the contraceptive injection , Depo-Provera. I got the shot last thursday, first day of my period. I had unprotected sex the monday after. the injection has a 99.7% protection rate, but if i took a pregnancy test now would i be abe to ...
A. 1 March 2009: You might be having the cramps because of your period. Odds are if you were pregnant, you would not have classic symptoms at this stage already. If you were pregnant and having a miscarriage, you would know, those cramps are contractions and hurt.
... (read in full...)
I don't mind if I become pregnant but my fiance is not sold on the idea
Q. Hi everyone. I wonder if anyone can help me here? My fiance proposed to me at the weekend. That night, we consumated the engagement. We didn't realise, until I felt him cumming inside me, that the condom had split. He uses an ultra-thin make so it ...
A. 26 February 2009: I think the prospect of a child so soon is all that is bothering him. He probably wants some "alone" time to you early in your marriage before you start having kids.
I'm sure he would not have a problem if you are pregnant, but try to respect ... (read in full...)
Do I support him forever or move on?
Q. I have been married for 11yrs. My husband has been staying home for the past two and a half years with my daughter. Btw, I have three children, two of them are in school. Basically, I have been working to support my family. My husband worked in the ...
A. 26 February 2009: I am not one for traditional gender roles, and I find no problem with the woman being the bread winner.
I do think, though, that once your youngest starts school full time, it might be time for Daddy to get a real job. Maybe something just par... (read in full...)
Should this bug the hell out of me?
Q. I'm in love with my girlfriend, she is my only concern in this world, and I've let her known that many times. There are things I've told/named her that I've never told to anyone else, namely ex-girlfriends. She tells me I am "her life, her sky, her ...
A. 26 February 2009: I suffer from what I like to call "Denny's Waitress Syndrome" which causes me to call everyone I am in a relationship with 'hon' or 'babe'. I call all my friends 'sweetie' and 'cutie'. Some girls are just like this. It's more a personality thing.
... (read in full...)
If he loves me, how can he hit me?
Q. Im in a abusive marriage I love my husband but I can't do it anymore im to the point I hate him I don't want to have sex with him I pray that things will get better but he gets worse what should I do he says he love me but how could hit me...
A. 26 February 2009: If things get bad, you need to file domestic abuse charges against him. He needs help, and you need safety. Do not poison your quality of life. Get out now, go some place safe, either a good friend or family. Just get out.
Aside from you needing ... (read in full...)
After 10 years he finally tells me he's not a virgin?
Q. Need Help.... Well I've been together with my boyfriend for 10 yrs we recently moved in together before we get married by the end of the year.. but something ocured and well i'm very concerned and upset! In the beginning the virginity questi...
A. 26 February 2009: Did he say when he lost his virginity? If it was while you and he were together, then I understand why you're upset.
If it was before you two started a relationship, then I think you need to look at things from his point of view: He is with a w... (read in full...)
Is there any hope for me and my former cheater husband?
Q. Hi, Im wondering If anyone can help my sitation, I was I in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4yrs. He left me 2 months ago, I found out lasy year he was having a affair with a married women for about 7 months. Any way He pleaded with me to work ...
A. 26 February 2009: He left you money?! For what? "Services"? Honey, you have given this fool ample enough time and space to realize whether he wants to shape up and be with you. Be done with him and find someone who can love you and be in love with you.
What ... (read in full...)
I'm never "in the mood" after I masturbate. Is this normal?
Q. Hi, I'm a 14 year old guy and I think I've been masturbating for 3-4 years now. Yeah I enjoy it and it really feels good, but after I masturbate I'm always, always not in the mood any more, I would think that I'd be able to savour the moment after ...
A. 26 February 2009: Well, I'm not a guy, but you could just be bored with masturbation and that's why you aren't enjoying much about it after. It does get pretty routine, and since you don't have the stimulation of another person, your mind is probably reacting with as ... (read in full...)
I feel as if I'm gonna puke... could I be the big P???
Q. Okay so I'm 16 years old. I took birth control pills for about 6-7 months, I stopped taking them about 2 months ago because I missed a pill and me and my boyfriend thought I'd gotten pregnant. So the past couple weeks I've been having a fever and ...
A. 26 February 2009: Have you been regularly having unprotected sex since being off the pill?
I'm confused. You stopped taking the pill because you thought you might be pregnant. Did you find out you weren't and you just never started taking the pill again? ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure... could I be pregnant?
Q. Okay I'm 13 years old and I'm very scared of something I did. I had sex twice, one time I used a condom, the other time I didn't but it was only for like... 5-10 minutes. I don't know what to do!! He said something about he can sperm in that ...
A. 26 February 2009: Yes, he can cum and either not really know it, or have it sneak up on him and take him off guard. Always use a condom. The penis discharges a seminal fluid that acts as a natural lubricant, but this fluid can contain sperm. This is why condoms are ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to ravage me silly?
Q. my bf is very wary of having sex with me but i am so in the mood to have it, i was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on how i could seduce him. i mean i want him to ravage me i want him so much. any ideas?...
A. 25 February 2009: Have you two had sex before? If he is hesitant, then I think you need to be up front with each other about what you want in this relationship. If he is holding back then you need to find out why and respect his reasons and discuss things from there.... (read in full...)
I hate having an "All-American" name, what should I do about it?
Q. I am 29 and for as long as I can remember, I've been very unhappy because I hate my name. I don't even identify with it. I feel like I was supposed to be named something else. I want to legally change it, but I don't want to hurt my family. ...
A. 25 February 2009: So are you upset with your first name or your entire name? I know you said "full name", but it still is a little unclear.
Have you talked to your family about why they gave you the name they did? It might open your eyes to naming traditio... (read in full...)
My girl is skiing in Austria with her guy friends and I'm a nervous wreck.
Q. my gf is in austria atm, skiing with skl. i kinda dont like her doing this cos i know that her mates (boys) will try flirting with her. its been 4 days since she left, and 4 days till she comes back. i have been a nervous wreck for the last week, ...
A. 25 February 2009: It took me years of feeling just like you do now before I realized that the only thing I had power over in a relationship was how I let my thoughts affect me.
Though it hurts, cheating is not the end-all be-all of your world. If the worst thing to... (read in full...)
His arguing makes me feel so insecure.... what should I do for the best here?
Q. I'm with someone who I've been off and one for over four years but we're back into a relationship and things have been pretty great but we keep arguing and I'm feeling insecure, it seems like I'm the bad guy when I just ask for an explanation.. I'm ...
A. 25 February 2009: It might be time to let him go. My ex and I had this problem where he would just get angry and not talk to me or try to work through what the issue was. It's good that he's not physical (my ex was), but if he is shutting off communication, you're ... (read in full...)
How can you tell if you're being used or not?
Q. Well this is what happens when you get bored in astronomy class... but anyway I have been thinking a lot lately. I met a girl a few weeks ago, I hung out with her for about 4 hours the first time we met and things just clicked immediately and one ...
A. 25 February 2009: Call her and invite her out for a movie and coffee or something. If she had a good time for all the right reasons, she'll gladly go on a date with you.... (read in full...)
How do I stop being taken for granted and seen for who I am?
Q. I'm a 23 year old female. I've been seeing a friend and occasionaly we makeout. But I feel he's started taking me for granted. I know I'm fulfiling some of his basic urges but I'm an attractive, intelligent girl (at the risk of sounding cocky). How ...
A. 25 February 2009: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
Cut him off cold turkey. Men love a challenge. when he realizes he needs to work for you, he should rise to the occasion. Put that brain and those good looks to use! Be coy and flirty to show him... (read in full...)
Do you think he just doesn't like sex.... with me!
Q. My other half keeps telling me he has no sex drive yet he can watch porn for at least 3 hours a day. Do you think that it's possible he just doesnt like sex? Dumb question I know!...
A. 25 February 2009: Recent studies on porography haveshowed that it distorts the viewers perception about what real life and real sex should be. Istead, they become disappointed that their own sexual encounters aren't nearly as exciting as those they have watched.
... (read in full...)
I'm scared to death to let him go...
Q. Hey girls. My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over three years and everything has been great up until... the end of november 08. He got to know this girl Katie* who I have known since childhood. adn they hit it off and had a little bit of ...
A. 25 February 2009: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, then it was meant to be...
...Loves come and go. If he is looking at being with another girl, I suggest you take sometime to yourself to discover just how much you really don't need him. You need... (read in full...)
Female to male anal
Q. In general do women tend to like or dislike the thought of a straight male liking Anal sex and do/would they like to give it?...
A. 25 February 2009: I agree with lotus, it really all depends on your partner. I know plenty of women who get very excited at the idea of being able to be in a dominant position with their man, but all the same I know plenty of women who prefer traditional roles in the ... (read in full...)
My abusive ex boyfriend wont leave me alone!
Q. hi everyone, I broke up with my ex over a year ago (31/12/07) because he hit me. things were not going well before that because he was a bully and used to called me names like ''fat'' and ''ugly'' to hurt me. I made a police statement at t...
A. 25 February 2009: Please contact your local authorities (gardai, right?), the sooner the better. I know you might feel embarrassed to tell your BF because you denied going out with this guy, but at this point you are the sane one, and he has discredited himself. But ... (read in full...)
Help! The condom broke and period still not here!
Q. My fiance and I had sex about 11 days after the first day of my last period. The condom broke and it's been almost a month and I still haven't recieved my next period. I took a pregnancy test two times, the first only one line showed up and the ...
A. 25 February 2009: Your regular doctor or gyno can have a test done. Same as Gina said, it will be a urine test. At most a blood test. You could have results by the end of the day.
Make sure you are conducting a home test exactly the way they tell you to. Too much... (read in full...)
Too paranoid? Or should I be concerned?
Q. well im on the contraceptive injection , Depo-Provera. I got the shot last thursday, first day of my period. I had unprotected sex the monday after. the injection has a 99.7% protection rate, but if i took a pregnancy test now would i be abe to ...
A. 25 February 2009: Spermicide, either foam or gel, can be a great back up. They can be found in just about any pharmacy, and are easy to use. You can even apply them right before penetration. If you enjoy oral sex, make sure you apply the spermicide after receiving ... (read in full...)
My fiance says our relationship has become boring, what can I do to make it more fun?
Q. me and my fience have been together for 3 years this march and were both 20years old my fience said that our realationship has become boring,which i admit it had and coz im at college and he work full time and we dont live together yet i see him ...
A. 25 February 2009: I hear you on the "too busy and poor for a relationship" aspect.
Sometimes when my BF and I get into a rut, we do something we have never done before. Weve had a picnic in my car at a look-out point, driven to the next state, and even gone mov... (read in full...)
Not sure what to think
Q. I started seeing a guy about 5 months ago. He is 49 and I am 42. After about 4 months of dating, we decided to move in together. We really seem to communicate and get along very well. We have alot of fun together.Our sex life is very good. The ot...
A. 25 February 2009: I'm not understanding why he should have told you about this before he moved in. Unless you both have a policy where you completely were open about every sexual encounter you have had, or with who and when, then I don't think it's fair to persecute ... (read in full...)
My abusive ex boyfriend wont leave me alone!
Q. hi everyone, I broke up with my ex over a year ago (31/12/07) because he hit me. things were not going well before that because he was a bully and used to called me names like ''fat'' and ''ugly'' to hurt me. I made a police statement at t...
A. 25 February 2009: You need to record and report all contact he is attempting with you. It will be a big pain the the butt, however, it's the only legal way.
I don't know what the laws are where you live, but in the states you need to contact to police and file a r... (read in full...)
Help? Is this too soon?
Q. OK, I have mustered up the courage to type an email asking the girl I like to join me for a walk and possibly a meal. I am nervous about sending it though. We have only met 4 times, and only 2 of those were times we had arranged to meet and spen...
A. 25 February 2009: I applaud you with your courage. These days so many people just hook up, call it a relationship, and never get to spend nice, quality time with someone, and then things go south. I would send it. If you have her number then maybe call her, unless... (read in full...)
Too paranoid? Or should I be concerned?
Q. well im on the contraceptive injection , Depo-Provera. I got the shot last thursday, first day of my period. I had unprotected sex the monday after. the injection has a 99.7% protection rate, but if i took a pregnancy test now would i be abe to ...
A. 25 February 2009: When I was 17 I got pregnant after doing "period math" to track when I thought I would be fertile and when I thought I would be safe. Odds are that you're fine, ut never rely on general statistics about womens reproductive systems. Everyon... (read in full...)
Why am I like this? Why always older men?
Q. Why am i like this? Whenever a older married man say around late 30s to 40s trys to help me out with anything, i always end up sexually attracted to them and end up sleeping or kissing them, why does this happen? My best mates dad was like a dad 2...
A. 25 February 2009: When I started reading your question, I noticed that you seemed to go after older, authoritative men: a father figure, a boss, a police officer.
I do think that this could stem from when your youth leader, someone you looked up to, abused his auth... (read in full...)
I had a miscarriage after the wedding, I'm so depressed and thinking about divorcing!
Q. I had a boyfriend for 4 years and he was amazing but i felt like i needed something new so during the summer i met someone i really enjoyed being with and i broke up with my boyfriend and started dating this other guy immediately. 2 months after ...
A. 25 February 2009: Aside from suffering from depression, I think the consequences of your hasty actions are finally catching up to you. A whirl-wind romance sounds great, but once things settle and the dust clears, you start to see things for what they really are. ... (read in full...)
Pregnant from fingering......?
Q. Okay so me and my gf, who i love very much, were over my house one day. We were in the basement watching a movie cuddling and making out a little when she teased me down into her pants. well long story short i fingered her and thats it, she di...
A. 25 February 2009: Unless you came on your hand and then fingered her, I am 99.999999% sure she is not pregnant, at least not by you!
For how young you are (13-15), she could just be having normal hormonal changes from puberty. Let her take the test, just so you t... (read in full...)
Should I break it off, because I can't accept his child in my life?
Q. Here is my story and wonder what should I do? I am back with my ex boyfriend that I was with when I was 16 (now 21) we dated until I was 18.. I had to move to the mainland after high school. I cheated on him before but he took me back and our ...
A. 25 February 2009: Based on everything you have told us, I think it is time for both of you to move on. Children happen, and it is never their fault, only our own. If you cannot accept that there is a child in his life, forever, then you owe it to all of you, ... (read in full...)
Not sure if I've had an orgasm or not
Q. ok im not sure if ive had an orgasm or not. when me and my bf mess around it feels amazing. so i guess i get orgasm very easily like that or im going to be extremely happy when i get an orgasm. i just wish i knew if what ive experanced is an orgasm ...
A. 25 February 2009: You can have two different types of orgasms, clitoral and internal (what I call them).
With clitoral, your clit will be very sensitive. This is usually the easiest to achieve and you can have many of these during sex. It feels like a mini peak of ... (read in full...)
What should I do to make him more comfortable when we do it?
Q. So I have a really good best friend, but we have done other things together, like kissing and hugging and that kind of thing and we flirt all the time. Anyways, he can't have sex until he is 17, I am not a virgin and he is but we both agreed that we ...
A. 25 February 2009: Make sure things are planned out so nothing interrupts you. Have a condom (still wrapped) by the bed, and a glass of cool water nearby.
Are you on the pill? Do you have time to get on the pill and let it's effectiveness kick in before he is ready... (read in full...)
Seeing married teacher...
Q. Okay, SO I really like this old teacher of mine (graduated '08) and he likes me to. We've made out and done some touching and what not and are "planning" on more. I really really like, enough to say I love him. I *don't* think he loves me, he is ...
A. 25 February 2009: Let him know how you feel. If he was thinking this is only a fling, then he deserves to know that his actions were misleading so he has a chance to stop hurting you by leading you on.
If he really likes, or loves, you too, then you both have got... (read in full...)
Bad stomach pain..pregnancy?
Q. after I had sex I had really bad cramps in ma lower stomache for 2 days I might be pregnant but the cramps went away already...what was the bad cramps for...was it just part of pregnancy or what...
A. 25 February 2009: Did you have bad cramps for the two days right after having sex? Sometimes the penis can hit your cervix and beat it up a little, causing you to feel something like menstrual cramps.
If the cramps came days or weeks after having sex, then I have n... (read in full...)
How do I tell family I'm pregnant again?
Q. how do I tell my grandpa I'm pregnant.i live with him and iv gotten prego before and he would be really dissappointed when he finds out I am again...i don't knoe how to tell him...what should I do...
A. 25 February 2009: Well, either you tell him or he notices on his own in a few months.
Just sit him down, explain how scared you are about this, and that you really need his support right now. Acknowledge that you let him down and come off as humble. He has every ri... (read in full...)
Dick size & pregnancy?
Q. does dick size have to do with getting a girl pregnant....i went with this dude and he had a super little penis (we definatly didn't have sex) but he has a new girl now and I guess she's pregnant with his baby I'm sittin here thinkin to myself you ...
A. 25 February 2009: Penis size has nothing to do with odds of getting a girl pregnant.
I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like it if he went around saying that he wasn't too small, you were just too loose. It's not nice for anyone to make fun of a person for somethin... (read in full...)
Silly to use condoms when on the pill
Q. Is it silly to make your partner wear a condom or pull out while on the pill? My bf and I are each others first, so I'm not worried about std's but I heard the pill is only something like 92% safe. That scares me, so I make him put on a condom or he ...
A. 25 February 2009: If you don't like the feeling of a condom, you can also use a spermicidal foam or gel. Don't apply it before he performs oral on you (if he does), but do it before penetration.
Nothing short of a hysterectomy or abstinence will be 100% safe. Bu... (read in full...)
Foreplay is nice but sex is painful!
Q. I have just started in a new relationship but i have a problem. I dont enjoy sex. I love foreplay but actual intercourse is painful even with lots of lube. I dont enjoy a second of it, it doesnt feel good, i count down the seconds until he is done. ...
A. 24 February 2009: If you have insurance, you need to find out who is covered on it. Usually there is a list of doctors the insurance co. can give you.
Or you can go by word of mouth. Ask your mom, sister, girl friends if they like their gyno a lot, and then get... (read in full...)
Foreplay is nice but sex is painful!
Q. I have just started in a new relationship but i have a problem. I dont enjoy sex. I love foreplay but actual intercourse is painful even with lots of lube. I dont enjoy a second of it, it doesnt feel good, i count down the seconds until he is done. ...
A. 24 February 2009: I agree with Gina, you should set up an appt. with your gyno to see if she can find anything out for you. Does he feel too girthy, like he's stretching you? Or too long and he's hitting your cervex? Explain to him that it is hurting you for now ... (read in full...)
Too paranoid? Or should I be concerned?
Q. well im on the contraceptive injection , Depo-Provera. I got the shot last thursday, first day of my period. I had unprotected sex the monday after. the injection has a 99.7% protection rate, but if i took a pregnancy test now would i be abe to ...
A. 24 February 2009: A preg test right now might not show anything. Sometimes it can take a few days or a week to detect.
When starting something for the first time, I generally feel it is best to give your system a while to adjust.
Give it a week and take a test ... (read in full...)
I don't want her man!
Q. I'm married and have been for seven months. I used to like this one guy. And he cheated on his gf with me (this is not the guy that I am married to.) This happened two years ago. Well, I have been trying to tell her about certain inci...
A. 24 February 2009: If she doesn't want to hear it, why do you feel the need to force it on her? Why are you so concerned with what they do now? You are married, let them live their lives and get past his indescretions.... (read in full...)
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