Like what
she writes?
... Add *essica04 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *essica04 a private message | | | *essica04's profile:I am 23 and live in the U.S. in Las Vegas.
As far as education, I am a senior psychology major with an emphasis on child development, and minor credits in counseling.
As far as my personal life, I have been there and back! I was pregnant at 17, which ended in a miscarriage. I married my H.S. boy friend when I was just 18 and still in school. He was in the U.S. Army and I spent almost 3 years as a military wife. Our relationship was always abusive, and we divorced just over a year ago.
I don't know which part of all that people will count as "credentials" for giving advice, but take it as you will. I have an opinion on just about everything, and I promise all of my readers that I will try my best to offer sound, unbiased advise. But I ask you to take everything I say with a grain of salt. I won't always tell you what you want to hear, but this is an advice site, so you asked.
Most of my advice is based on relationships and basic sex-education questions. I will never speak about that which I have no experience. |
|
Road trip, bereavement and cancer advice wanted
Q. Dear Cupids, At last my question for you all :D. Very soon i am of to America on holiday with my friend and his wife. We are going to be road tripping around LA – Phoenix – Flagstaff – Vegas areas. However, it isn’t just a holiday, there a...
A. 21 April 2009: I'm so glad you enjoyed the Grand Canyon, it really is spectacular!
It was so good actually meeting you in person, please phone me next time you are in the States and in Vegas, however small those odds may be, lol.
Glad your trip went well :... (read in full...)
What on earth can I do now to get my wife to forgive me?
Q. I'm 29 years old and have been married to my wife for 5 years, We have 1 daughter who is 18 months old and I love her. I have been having an affair with this girl I met through friends since my daughter was just a few weeks old. It was me being...
A. 15 April 2009: You need to go to marriage counseling with your wife. She still has a lot of raw emotion to get through, and the stress of it is not good for her or the baby. Go to a counselor who can mediate for you two as you delve into these issues.
And a... (read in full...)
Your sexual experience for the first time
Q. its a bit nosy but i was just wondering about peoples experiences of having sex for the first time, whats it like? did things get awkward afterwards? pain? how romantic was it? advice?...
A. 22 March 2009: Mine wasn't romantic at all. I had just broken up with my BF and ended up losing it to a guy I always had a small crush on. He was older and supposedly more experienced, but you wouldn't know it.
No pain. I had been fingered before by my ex and b... (read in full...)
How to choose friends over family and vice versa?
Q. I wanna keep this simple but i need help picking family or friends. I don't really want to tell anyone y im askin this but can u please help, I really do love my family they are so great and i am amazingly close to them but my friends are the best ...
A. 22 March 2009: Look, friends come and go, but you're stuck with your family. That's just all there is to it.
If your parents are abusive, then you need to tell another adult figure like a teacher or school nurse/ counselor, and they can report to the proper a... (read in full...)
Pregnant from fingering......?
Q. Okay so me and my gf, who i love very much, were over my house one day. We were in the basement watching a movie cuddling and making out a little when she teased me down into her pants. well long story short i fingered her and thats it, she di...
A. 22 March 2009: At her age she should regularly be seeing a gynocologist, and if she's having sex, or thinking about it, then getting on the birth control pill will help her periods regulate, so she won't have to freak out any more.
I've never heard of seasonal... (read in full...)
Road trip, bereavement and cancer advice wanted
Q. Dear Cupids, At last my question for you all :D. Very soon i am of to America on holiday with my friend and his wife. We are going to be road tripping around LA – Phoenix – Flagstaff – Vegas areas. However, it isn’t just a holiday, there a...
A. 22 March 2009: In regards to your friend, I think it might be nice if he takes his sister in law to lunch. They will probably best be able to read the other and know if they should talk about it or not. Plus, they both had a great bond to his brother, and can ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and pregnant and really scared.
Q. Im 14 years old and I did a really stupid idea with my boyfriend that's 16. We had sex in his truck 1 time... 2-3 weeks ago and it was an accident. I found out 3 days ago that I'm pregnant. I don't believe in abortions because its just plain murd...
A. 22 March 2009: If you're against abortion, then do the next option you have and put the baby up for adoption.
Think about this please. Where are you going to live with a baby? With your abusive parents? You BF who doesn't want people to know you're having h... (read in full...)
What on earth can I do now to get my wife to forgive me?
Q. I'm 29 years old and have been married to my wife for 5 years, We have 1 daughter who is 18 months old and I love her. I have been having an affair with this girl I met through friends since my daughter was just a few weeks old. It was me being...
A. 21 March 2009: Hey, Y'all, let's cut him even just a little bit of slack. He put up with the comments dragging him through the mud and didn't argue against them. Even though he can't really "fix" what he did, you can't blame him for wanting to try.
Jace,... (read in full...)
My mom won't let me be with my girlfriend without a parent there
Q. My mom won't let me see my girlfriend without a parent with us. We've been dating for over 6 months and I really want to be alone with her. What can I do?...
A. 21 March 2009: Sorry kiddo, you're stuck being supervised for a while.
Sounds like your mom is on the right track, especially after hearing you say "I really want to be alone with her".
I'm not saying you want to have sex or anything, but your mom really ... (read in full...)
The pill and fear of getting pregnant!
Q. Hey guys, I went on the pill for about 2 years and then came off it.. for the duration of time that I was on it I never let my boyfriend finish in me even while on the pill for fear of getting pregnant... Now I'm with a new person and would like t...
A. 21 March 2009: As long as you have been back on for a month or two, and use another form of birth control like spermicide, you should be fine. You can find spermicide in the "personal" isle of any walgreens/ rite-aid, or even your grocery store. Follow the ... (read in full...)
No implantation!
Q. Please help me. Im 25 years old but my boobs are very small. How can i enlarge my boobs without implanting............
A. 20 March 2009: There is really no way. There are some pectoral exercises that can enhance that general area, but it won't increase the breast size.
Breasts are a fatty tissue, so be wary of any strenuous exercising, since any body fat you lose will also come fro... (read in full...)
Coil problems!
Q. Hiya, I think I might be pregnant... I've had a coil for the last two and half years. Oover the last couple of months every time me and my partner have sex I have been having pains very deep pains inside... we decided to take things a bit slower and ...
A. 20 March 2009: It's hard to say since most of the signs you described are also signs of PMS.
You need to see your gyno asap. Schedule an appt. today, and no more sex. If the coil is still lodged in there, you could potentially do more damage.... (read in full...)
The pill and fear of getting pregnant!
Q. Hey guys, I went on the pill for about 2 years and then came off it.. for the duration of time that I was on it I never let my boyfriend finish in me even while on the pill for fear of getting pregnant... Now I'm with a new person and would like t...
A. 20 March 2009: Try using a spermicidal foam or gel.
So, are you back on the pill then? I am a little confused...... (read in full...)
DO men really love their girlfriends or wives if they are capable of treating them like that?
Q. I don't know what to do. My boyfriend has spat on me, called be a whore, thrown a candle into the bathtub, he has accused me of meeting with someone during the 15 minutes that he was gone and I was sitting in the bathtub before putting on my ...
A. 20 March 2009: This is abuse. He is playing mind games with you. The more he can accuse you of, the more willing you will be to submit to him to show him that you aren't cheating or anything.
You need to get away from this NOW! He doesn't love YOU! He only lov... (read in full...)
Advice needed! How do I get her to have sex with them and maybe let me watch?
Q. so... I've had this fantasy for a while now. I want to see my girlfriend have sex with other people (guys, girls it don't matter.) How do I get her to have sex with them and maybe let me watch?...
A. 20 March 2009: Well, have you asked her if she would be up for it?
If she has no interest in having sex with someone else, then don't push the subject. It will only make her feel more uncomfortable, and possibly feel like she isn't enough for you sexually... (read in full...)
Out and hopelessly in love
Q. I'm in 9th grade and I'm gay. I've outted myself to my two best girl friends, one use to be my gf before, and I've recently outted myself to one of my guy friends. He was surprisingly cool with it and we talk about my interests in guys and stuff. ...
A. 20 March 2009: He sounds like he is still really confused about what he likes, and a lot of young men at this age really are.
I commend you for having the strength to come out at such a young age, but he may not be ready to admit if he is gay.
Some people t... (read in full...)
Will a dildo do it?
Q. Okay um where to start... I started masturbating about a year ago and I mostly like the clit stimulation. But lately I have been craving something in me. If you know what I mean. I am a virgin and I really want to, no WILL stay that way until I'm ...
A. 20 March 2009: 1) a dildo or vibrator will help you along just fine. Just be careful, it may tear your hymen (if it hasn't been already).
2) The only way you can really get one, from what I understand, is if you're 18. If you have a very good friend who is 18, o... (read in full...)
I'm embarrassed about the size of my breasts
Q. Hi, im 14 years old and have just started high school. I look mature for my age so people usually don't believe me that im 14. I have really big boobs im a DD 36 even though i dont wear revealing clothes guys still notice them and comment which ma...
A. 19 March 2009: If a boy makes a comment, report it to your schools authorities. It is harassment and you don't deserve it.
Now, about your breasts. I can imagine how awkward you feel being so young and having them be that size. There was a girl I went to schoo... (read in full...)
It still haunts me, because I am very insecure.
Q. Hey guys, Lets start my story with a brief history of my problem; My girlfriend cheated on me about two months ago, i was devestated, but she claimed it was a big mistake (she made out with somebody at a party.) Anyway she is never in touch w...
A. 19 March 2009: One thing I have found in life is that I had to learn that I cannot control what someone else will do to me. And if someone is going to cheat on me, then that is their decision, not mine, and in the grand scheme of life, it's not the worst thing.
... (read in full...)
Advice on Las Vegas Trip Please.
Q. Advice on Las Vegas Trip Please. My wife and I have been marrid 10 years and have always worked together as a team. With children we agreed to go down to 1 income so she could stay at home. . . now being on 1 income money is tight. Last ...
A. 19 March 2009: Well, she did ask you, sarcastic reply or not.
I think you just need to alter your couples weekend for this year. Let her go to Vegas, it's already been done. And then you take a guys weekend sometime, camping, fishing, whatever you guys like to ... (read in full...)
5 years and counting
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. We have a three year old child together. We fight constantly because I feel that by now I should have a engagemet ring and he says he's not ready for that. He says he loves me and doesn't want anyone ...
A. 19 March 2009: Well, personally I don't think your age has anything to do with marriage. I would be more concerned if you were 40 with no kids and no promises of marriage from him yet. But since you already have had a child, you still get to be 'young, cool ... (read in full...)
Her friends say she's cheating on me, she says she isn't. Who do I believe?
Q. I've been going out for this girl for five months now. I really like her and she says she really likes me. Her friends say she's been cheating on me but she says she hasn't. I don't know who to believe. I tried to kiss her last week but she told me ...
A. 18 March 2009: Um, I hate to break it to you, but if HER friends are saying she is cheating, then she probably is. Usually a person's friends will have their back and keep their secrets.
Ditch her, especially if she tells you to "go away" when you try to kiss ... (read in full...)
My fault she's pregnant...
Q. I recently found out my bf of 1 year has gotten another girl pregnant while seeing me. The child is 2 months old, I do not know what to do, he said that he was drunk. My bf is 15 and I am 14. This is my fault, I said that I wouldn't have sex with...
A. 18 March 2009: Honey, you didn't shove his penis into that girls vagina, and you certainly didn't make him not wear a condom, and even more, you definitely did not make him get drunk!
He is a loser. Keep to your standards, don't have sex until you're 16, and ... (read in full...)
How on earth will I be able to fit a penis in there???
Q. It's a bit of an embarrassing question really, I just don't know who else I could ask... well I frequently masturbate (clitoral stimulation, sounds a bit clinical) and bring myself to an orgasm... but, whenever I try to actually get something inside ...
A. 18 March 2009: Other than childbirth, nothing will make you "loose". Every vagina is different, and some are just tighter than others.
The key is to be relaxed and well lubricated when you have sex. If you're tense and not really in the mood, then the vagina w... (read in full...)
Young married parents losing interest in sex
Q. My wife is 21 and I am , we have a daughter turning 2. We are very busy as she is a full time student and works part time and I work 2 jobs. We are working hard to realize our goals of owning our own house and being financially secure. The problem ...
A. 18 March 2009: Keep trying. Just be there for her. The more she knows she is supprted, the less pressure she will feel. But if you two are seeking counseling, I will leave them to tell you what to do from here on out.
Good luck... (read in full...)
Pregnancy mabye?
Q. I think im pregnant but im not sure. I started my period today. I thought it was strange because me and my boyfriend have been going at it everyday for the last two weeks. (I know there is only a 25% chance of getting pregnant without using a ...
A. 18 March 2009: Never play this "numbers" game when it comes to unprotected sex. You're just asking for an unplanned pregnancy if you do. It's just not worth it unless you want to get pregnant. But if not, then there is no such thing as a 25% chance of getting ... (read in full...)
Is he right in thinking I owe him?
Q. My boyfriend and i have a 2 year old together. At the time we both had great jobs. I took a year off for maturnity leave. Now, my boyfriend thinks that because he had to help support me when i was on maternity leave...he thinks i owe him this huge...
A. 18 March 2009: No, he is not right. In fact, his helping while you were on leave can be construed as child support, so he was just doing what a court would have ordered.
Also, did you not receive anything while on maternity leave? I know it can be differen... (read in full...)
Am I in any way to be blamed for whatever is happening to her?
Q. hello everyone....i am scared please help !! me and my girlfriend have had many phone sex chats and masturbate on phone. she rubs her clit with a pen refill. recently she has got irregular periods and strange sensations near her clit area which she ...
A. 18 March 2009: Kidney stones are from mineral deposits that build up in the system and don't get flushed from the kidney. As far as I know, it's not from a UTI.
However, if she is using foreign objects that aren't clean as tools to masturbate with, she may have... (read in full...)
I'm 15, he's 19..what will happen if we have sex?
Q. i'm 15 years old and my man is 19 years old. if we have sex could he get into legal isus and go to jail? can me and him get legally maried in oklhoma at the a of 15 and 19? ...
A. 18 March 2009: He will go to jail and be labeled as a "sex offender" and have to register as one for the rest of his life.
Just wait until you are 16 at least. If he can't wait, then dump him, he's not worth it. I'd honestly be worried about a guy who can't fi... (read in full...)
He likes porn because "they look better than you"
Q. i am with a lovely man who is kind and gentle. He likes his porn and one day i asked him why. His response was that "they are better looking than me". Well, I was devastated. Since then I have forgiven him but I find intimacy with him very di...
A. 18 March 2009: Ummm, he doesn't sound very kind and gentle to me. He sounds rude and obnoxious. The fact that he thought those words were O.K. to say just shows his lack of integrity.
honestly, I would suggest couples counseling. First, to touch on his porn iss... (read in full...)
Even his sister calls him a jerk,but I'm confused about what to do!
Q. Hi everyone I just need some advice as im in a tough confusing situation right now. Okay so I posted a lil while ago about my ex that went crazy when he lost his good paying job and left me the same week when I found out I was pregnant. Gave me $ ...
A. 18 March 2009: Listen, being with someone who is that hot headed is not an ideal situation, especially for your baby.
I think the best thing you can do is keep communication very open with his family, don't punish them for his mistakes. Allow them to have vis... (read in full...)
Guilt!
Q. Should you let things you have done with other guys when you thought you were in love make you feel guilty when you're with the person you really love?...
A. 18 March 2009: The past makes your present. Never be afraid to love. Even if you fall out of love, those initial feelings were still genuine.... (read in full...)
What on earth can I do now to get my wife to forgive me?
Q. I'm 29 years old and have been married to my wife for 5 years, We have 1 daughter who is 18 months old and I love her. I have been having an affair with this girl I met through friends since my daughter was just a few weeks old. It was me being...
A. 18 March 2009: Honestly, there is probably nothing you can do to earn her forgiveness. She left, and if you read through other questions and responses here, you'll find we encourage women in emotionally and physically abusive relationships to leave. Now, on to ... (read in full...)
I need opinions here... Is it true...?
Q. Is it true that egg whites are safe to use as lube for sex and can they help you to get pregnant?...
A. 17 March 2009: I have never in my entire life heard anything like this.
As a general rule of thumb, I recommend you keep food away from the va-jay-jay. You're just asking for all sorts of infections, especially when using foods that can be harmful if raw, lik... (read in full...)
Bump after unprotected sex 3 weeks ago..pregnant?
Q. Hi, im 15 and 3 week ago i had sex for the first time, and we didnt use protection, i know it was stupid not to, but now ive started putting on weight, to form a sort of bump on my stomach, and people have started asking if im pregnant, and i keep ...
A. 17 March 2009: You wouldn't have any pregnancy weight coming on yet. That takes a couple of months.
If things don't feel better after your period, which I am assuming is coming up soon, then go see your doctor. But if the pain gets worse before then, see your... (read in full...)
Should I leave my boyfriend that has babymama drama?
Q. My current boyfriend of 5 months has an ex who is also the mother of his child of 7months. They talk or text almost everyday "about their son" sure. I asked him did he still love her and he says he do but he is not in love with her. She gets angry ...
A. 17 March 2009: The thing is, you will always have to come second to his child. But that doesn't mean that some limits still shouldn't be set.
If he is committed to you, then his communication with her should only revolve around their son. Of course it's nice tha... (read in full...)
She says its painful and too much friction
Q. Whenever me and my girlfriend have sex it feels really good for her except for right after she climaxes. Right after that point she says that it hurts and has a "friction feeling" and we are forced to stop with or without me cumming. We try to...
A. 17 March 2009: Candy Cakes said it best.
Another thing that you might want to try is staying in her after and as she is climaxing. Just don't move until she says she is ready. This might allow the vaginal walls to stay familiar with your penis shape. I don't kn... (read in full...)
Good gift? I don't want to be boring & thoughtless
Q. Hi, the girl I like (or at least think I do - still unsure)has her birthday on friday, and we should be meeting Saturday (I suggested we meet for a coffee, but she asked if I would go for a walk with her - cannot really refuse) Anyway, I'd lik...
A. 17 March 2009: I think a CD is a great idea. Don't sweat it. Just wrap it in cool paper and get creative. She will for sure notice the thought that went into it.
Also, bring coffee for you two to enjoy on your walk. If you don't know what she drinks, ask a fr... (read in full...)
How can you stay with someone for 18 months and then BANG, go back to the ex?
Q. Ok, ive got it, hes gone bak to the ex, hes rebounded but 1 thing that plays on my mind is how could u be with some1 for at least 18 months and pretend that u r happy and in love with this other person and stay within the relationship knowing that ...
A. 16 March 2009: It's a comfort/closure thing.
He is more comfortable with her because he knows what he will be getting at the beginning, middle, and end of the relationship. I'm willing to bet that his subconscious thinks it won't have to try as hard for that rel... (read in full...)
He keeps me hidden from all of his family...
Q. Hi I live with a man named Bill and we are having a baby due in April. He says he loves me but I am thinking he is playing mind games with me. He keeps me hidden from his friends and family. He hardly ever wants to take me out. He tells people he is ...
A. 16 March 2009: Ok, I am not understanding why you are still with this guy? Is it for the sake of the baby? How do you think it will affect this child to watch Daddy berate, belittle, and abuse Mommy all the time?
Look, this guy is a fucking piece of shit (wo... (read in full...)
I am so insecure about this I don't even want to have sex anymore!
Q. I have always been a little unconfortable about "down there" but now Im really ashamed. I have a really big labia on the right side and its kind of umm "loose" I had a boyfriend a while back and he is the only one I have ever been with. He was givi...
A. 16 March 2009: Everyone is different, and out own bodies aren't perfectly symmetrical either (look at your eyes in the mirror, they're lopsided).
If you want the surgery, then I would go for it. But I hope you understand that you are a perfectly normal person. ... (read in full...)
Is this a good idea?
Q. Hi, im 15 and my gf is 14, weev bin goin out for five months now, and in a few days itll be our sixth month, this one's gonna b special cuz its also my bday! I need to kno if this is a good present idea, im gonna buy her a meaningful ring, not too ...
A. 16 March 2009: I don't think it's the worst idea out there, but the symbolism behind a ring as a gift is pretty hard to shake off.
The ring's shape itself is very symbolic; It's a circle that never ends, it just continues. In some ways, the eternity symbol, ... (read in full...)
Should we keep our TWINS a surprise?
Q. My husband and I are pregnant with twins, this is our third pregnancy and it will be our last. We were thinking about keeping the TWIN part a surprise until they are born. We will be having a planned c section and were thinking that the he could ...
A. 16 March 2009: Wow, that is hilarious!
I think it would be great to do, and certainly the biggest surprise ever.
I'm thinking though, if the babies aren't the same sex, maybe ask for gender neutral things if you have a baby shower. Like, green and yellow... (read in full...)
Young married parents losing interest in sex
Q. My wife is 21 and I am , we have a daughter turning 2. We are very busy as she is a full time student and works part time and I work 2 jobs. We are working hard to realize our goals of owning our own house and being financially secure. The problem ...
A. 9 March 2009: I would be hesitant to introduce a new partner before patching things up with between the two of you.
I think you just hit the nail on the head though. Look for a 2 bedroom as soon as it becomes affordable. See if your apartment complex has a 2b... (read in full...)
Young married parents losing interest in sex
Q. My wife is 21 and I am , we have a daughter turning 2. We are very busy as she is a full time student and works part time and I work 2 jobs. We are working hard to realize our goals of owning our own house and being financially secure. The problem ...
A. 9 March 2009: Couples who become so busy with work, school, and fmaily often lose hold of that initial attraction they had int he relationship, and I'm not talking physical attraction.
It sounds more like you two are losing touch with what brought you two toge... (read in full...)
Pregnant from fingering......?
Q. Okay so me and my gf, who i love very much, were over my house one day. We were in the basement watching a movie cuddling and making out a little when she teased me down into her pants. well long story short i fingered her and thats it, she di...
A. 25 February 2009: Unless you came on your hand and then fingered her, I am 99.999999% sure she is not pregnant, at least not by you!
For how young you are (13-15), she could just be having normal hormonal changes from puberty. Let her take the test, just so you t... (read in full...)
| *essica04's friends
These are mutual friends, so *essica04 has
added them and they have added *essica04!
|
