Like what
she writes?
... Add *essica04 to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *essica04 a private message | | | *essica04's profile:I am 23 and live in the U.S. in Las Vegas.
As far as education, I am a senior psychology major with an emphasis on child development, and minor credits in counseling.
As far as my personal life, I have been there and back! I was pregnant at 17, which ended in a miscarriage. I married my H.S. boy friend when I was just 18 and still in school. He was in the U.S. Army and I spent almost 3 years as a military wife. Our relationship was always abusive, and we divorced just over a year ago.
I don't know which part of all that people will count as "credentials" for giving advice, but take it as you will. I have an opinion on just about everything, and I promise all of my readers that I will try my best to offer sound, unbiased advise. But I ask you to take everything I say with a grain of salt. I won't always tell you what you want to hear, but this is an advice site, so you asked.
Most of my advice is based on relationships and basic sex-education questions. I will never speak about that which I have no experience. |
|
I told my teacher I have a crush on him, what's gonna happen?
Q. I really have a huge crush on my teacher... I've had it for a while and it was bothering me a lot. I really wanted to tell him. So last night I wrote a letter about how much I admire him and that I couldn't keep it in anymore... and I was stupid and ...
A. 24 April 2009: This is why I don't recommend students making their feelings know to teachers. But you weren't in trouble, and now you know that you have a caring, honest teacher. You'd be amazed at how many male teachers take advantage of young girls with ... (read in full...)
I told my teacher I have a crush on him, what's gonna happen?
Q. I really have a huge crush on my teacher... I've had it for a while and it was bothering me a lot. I really wanted to tell him. So last night I wrote a letter about how much I admire him and that I couldn't keep it in anymore... and I was stupid and ...
A. 23 April 2009: Yes, if there is a "problem" between the student and teacher, then it is up to the school administration to decide whether or not to move you. They can and will if they decide it is for the best.
They probably won't. This doesn't sound like the... (read in full...)
I told my teacher I have a crush on him, what's gonna happen?
Q. I really have a huge crush on my teacher... I've had it for a while and it was bothering me a lot. I really wanted to tell him. So last night I wrote a letter about how much I admire him and that I couldn't keep it in anymore... and I was stupid and ...
A. 23 April 2009: You aren't in trouble. Let me repeat: You are NOT in trouble!
If he is a responsible teacher who cares about his job and his integrity, then yes, he will let the situation be known to the counselors and principal.
They may call you in and have ... (read in full...)
What were his intentions of contacting me?
Q. I broke up with an ex a month ago. I got hurt as i really liked him and he was cheating and he wasn't the lovely guy i thought he was. We agreed on no contact as i never wanted to speak to him again after he had so little respet for me. Today i g...
A. 23 April 2009: Curiosity. He wants to know what you're up to. Did you move on? Are you still hurt? Have you found someone else?
Maybe he is having some regrets, but honestly I wouldn't even go back to him if that was the case. It sounds like he has toyed ar... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated... should I forgive?
Q. Okay so here is my dilemma... I have been dating my boyfriend now for about 3 1/2 years. He cheated on me once when we first started dating with a girl he has always had a crush on but never got the chance to see if it would work with her. All h...
A. 22 April 2009: Look, if he needs to go out and sow some wild oats, then that's understandable, but he shouldn't be doing it while in a supposedly committed relationship with you.
Break things off, let him go be a young guy, and in the mean time you take care of ... (read in full...)
Do I need to see my GP or nurse?
Q. I've had periods for 4 years and I've always had them regularly every month and I stay on my period for 5 days. I recently gone on the mini pill because I don't want to get preganent but since going on the pill I've been coming on my period every ...
A. 22 April 2009: Talk to your docor, but really your body may just need a month or so to sttle down to the new hormones it is getting.
Just make your doctor aware so that they can help assure you and know what's going on, but everything should be fine.... (read in full...)
I'm not jealous but why do I still feel this nagging feeling after all this time?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now. I go with him to take his kids back to his ex-wife from visits. I know that he loves me but when the exchange is being made I always feel as if they still should be togehter. His ex-wife ...
A. 21 April 2009: They will always have some sort of bond because they have children together, and it can be a hard pill to swallow. He needs to care about her on some level, because she needs to be well in order to take care of his children when she has them.
... (read in full...)
Please can you help me make sense of him here.
Q. Hi everyone, I just wanted to ask you all a question: I told a guy I liked him, but he said it's not possible because of the age difference and the fact that he has a girlfriend. Although we are very close still, as friends and have talked about ...
A. 21 April 2009: Look, he's mixed up and confused. But frankly, it's not your problem if he's marrying someone he doesn't love.
Cut off communication with him for a while and focus on yourself. Honestly, it's what he should have done in the first place, but it s... (read in full...)
Starting a new relationship while one is in jail: Good or bad idea?
Q. I have a really good friend that was arrested in december of '08...we aren't sure how much time he will be spending locked up. but the thing is i have always been there for him even when he was in a bad bike accident and i was there through the whol...
A. 21 April 2009: I can't say it is a bad idea, because I do not know him. But typically, someone who ends up in jail is not good news.
If he is good to you, emotionally and physically, and has always been there for you, and you know he truly is a good person w... (read in full...)
Road trip, bereavement and cancer advice wanted
Q. Dear Cupids, At last my question for you all :D. Very soon i am of to America on holiday with my friend and his wife. We are going to be road tripping around LA – Phoenix – Flagstaff – Vegas areas. However, it isn’t just a holiday, there a...
A. 21 April 2009: I'm so glad you enjoyed the Grand Canyon, it really is spectacular!
It was so good actually meeting you in person, please phone me next time you are in the States and in Vegas, however small those odds may be, lol.
Glad your trip went well :... (read in full...)
What on earth can I do now to get my wife to forgive me?
Q. I'm 29 years old and have been married to my wife for 5 years, We have 1 daughter who is 18 months old and I love her. I have been having an affair with this girl I met through friends since my daughter was just a few weeks old. It was me being...
A. 15 April 2009: You need to go to marriage counseling with your wife. She still has a lot of raw emotion to get through, and the stress of it is not good for her or the baby. Go to a counselor who can mediate for you two as you delve into these issues.
And a... (read in full...)
How to pick the best therapist?
Q. My husband and I are in need of couseling. I was wondering what information you need from a counseling establishment before you pick a therapist. It seems like picking the one that is just closest is not the way to go. Any thoughts....
A. 14 April 2009: A lot of times word of mouth works best. For some people though, they can only pick based on what their insurance will cover.
Bottom line though, every therapist will have a bare minimum licensing as required by the state they're practici... (read in full...)
Does getting raped affect your muscles "down there"...
Q. I asked this same sort of question and didn't get the response I was looking for. Well long story short when I was about 15 I was raped and after that I noticed that I was pretty loose "down there" Does getting raped affect your muscles "down there" ...
A. 14 April 2009: No.
Child birth is the only thing I have ever heard of that actually will stretch the vagina and change it's "tightness". Not sex.... (read in full...)
My crushes friend...
Q. I was walking down the hallway at school and I saw my crushes friend. I don't know him I just know they are friends. He was with another guy I've never seen before. My crush was nowhere around. My crushes friend was standing with his back towards me ...
A. 14 April 2009: Sometimes things get leaked through the grapevine. Maybe a random, harmless comment you once made about your crush got turned into some sordid love affair.
If it really bothers you, or if he becomes rude, then find him alone and ask him what his... (read in full...)
What is the best way to accentuate your bust without it making you look easy?
Q. Odd question, sorry: If a girl is quite busty and curvy, what is the best way for her to accentuate it without looking easy? -GG...
A. 14 April 2009: Go to Victoria's Secret (or a like place) and find out your bra size. Then make sure you buy supportive bras that fit well. Make sure your shirts aren't low cut, and that they are the proper size as well. Sometimes something as little as a button ... (read in full...)
My bf is 7 yrs older than me and I know it's illegal for us to date. Is he worth it?? Please read xxx
Q. i am currently going out with a 21 year old and im only 13 (he was 20 when we started seeing eachother) the thing is he hasnt pressured me into anything and ive never felt this way before. i know about his past and everything ive spoken 2 his cous...
A. 13 April 2009: Listen to ArmyMedic. You are getting top advice from him. No more excuses. There is no excuse for him committing rape on an underage girl. There is equally no excuse for not reporting it.... (read in full...)
What is a "courtesan"?
Q. what is a courtesan?...
A. 13 April 2009: A hooker for the upper class, to put it bluntly.... (read in full...)
Are all guys like to have skinny girlfriends?
Q. just looking for body advice.. Im 61kgs and probably around 165 cms maybe a bit taller. Im not fat, im curvy. I like my bum i like that i have one. The only things i dont really like is my boobs, there a bit small but im not that phased. The th...
A. 13 April 2009: You are exactly my height and weight, and there is nothing wrong with us :)... (read in full...)
Are all guys like to have skinny girlfriends?
Q. just looking for body advice.. Im 61kgs and probably around 165 cms maybe a bit taller. Im not fat, im curvy. I like my bum i like that i have one. The only things i dont really like is my boobs, there a bit small but im not that phased. The th...
A. 13 April 2009: I'm America, so I have no clue what size and weight and height you just gave, lol, sorry.
But down to the question, some guys do prefer skinny girls, some guys like normal, some like curvy, etc etc...
If you are happy with how you look, then t... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and I'm a sex addict
Q. ok im gana get down to the question i love having sex i just do its a part of me but am i over doing it i mean i wana have sex 24/7 im an addict i need a woman's oppinion how do i stop cuz i wana have sex 24/7 with my fiance all the time and im only ...
A. 13 April 2009: Is she unhappy with the 24/7 sex?
Honestly, I've been there and done that. Had a fiance in HS, we had sex all the time, got married, and now divorced....
But on to a lighter subject. You aren't an addict, you're just 17. You have raging horm... (read in full...)
My bf is 7 yrs older than me and I know it's illegal for us to date. Is he worth it?? Please read xxx
Q. i am currently going out with a 21 year old and im only 13 (he was 20 when we started seeing eachother) the thing is he hasnt pressured me into anything and ive never felt this way before. i know about his past and everything ive spoken 2 his cous...
A. 13 April 2009: Um, guess what, you're only 13. If you hadn't met him you would probably still be a virgin. So yes, he did pressure you, even if he didn't sound like he was.
Report this to staff. He is NOT worth it. Nothing against you, but any guy that old who ... (read in full...)
Is her love for us fading out?
Q. I've been dating my partner now for 4 1/2 years we have a lovely little boy of 2 1/2 years. Over the last 6 months things seem to have changed dramatically as we hardly ever see each other. we live together but are lucky to spend a few hours a day ...
A. 13 April 2009: It is sounding like her priorities are elsewhere, which is not fair to you or your son.
If she isn't understanding how serious the situation is, then I would suggest you two try couples counseling, for the sake of your child. However, people c... (read in full...)
Ideas for our one month anniversary please!
Q. hi guys me and my new boyfriend has been together for about a month and i am looking to celebrate a one month anniversary with him, i dont have any clue what to do for him or what to buy for him can u plz help with some advice. thank you...
A. 13 April 2009: One month is nice and all, but I wouldn't stress out over it. Just go grab dinner and a movie, say "happy one month" and let it be. Really, are you going to do some big, blow-out thing every 4 weeks? Probably not, and if you did he would probably ... (read in full...)
14 yo virgin and ready for sex with my bf. Mom said OK if I loved him
Q. im a 14 year old girl and me and boyfriend have been together for about 6 months we get along great and always have fun together we just mess around but no sex every time we talk about it i say that im scared of sex and not ready he says that's fine ...
A. 13 April 2009: I agree fully with Satin Desire. To sum up:
Sex is a big deal, and your first time should not be taken lightly.
He should go get tested now, and show you his proof of being disease free.
Get on birth control and use a condom as well. If you... (read in full...)
After hateful texts messages, she wants to be "friends"...?
Q. My former best friend, turned girlfriend of 3 months dumped me two months ago. Since then we haven't spoken and have just engaged in nasty text message arguments saying we hate each other. Now she seems to want to be my friend again. I quite miss ...
A. 13 April 2009: If you really feel that the ugliness is behind you, then go for a friendship. But there is nothing wrong with letting things end. People come and go in our lives, it's a cycle, and sometimes hanging onto someone can damage a relationship more than ... (read in full...)
Divorced women..Did you find happiness the second time around?
Q. This question is for all the women out there who filed for divorce from their first husband (for various reasons) and went on to re-marry again later in their lives....Did you find happiness the second time around? I have heard that most second ...
A. 13 April 2009: Well, I haven't remarried, but honestly I feel like I have no interest in the institution of it anymore. I feel so happy and free to be divorced, and I love my current BF, and if we broke up tomorrow I have learned that I will find happiness again. ... (read in full...)
I like being with my boyfriend and find it hard to break up...
Q. Hi I've been going out with this guy for 3 years now...but for the past year we have been falling out and things aren't what they used to be....he's very jealous and sometimes controlling but on the other hand he can be so sweet and fun...la...
A. 13 April 2009: "I really like this other guy but don't wanna throw 3 years together away even if the relationship isn't the best."
You are so young, you would actually be throwing away your time if you stayed with someone you didn't have strong feelings for anym... (read in full...)
My uncle's a famous country singer..one my girlfriend loves!
Q. Hey im 17 and i need help. I have a famous country singer uncle and my current girlfriend (whom i have had for 1 year now) dosent know. The thing is that she is a huge fan, what do i do and how do i do it?...
A. 13 April 2009: Just cue her in on it. If she stands the chance of ever meeting him, she will probably be grateful for the warning so she can make sure she is more composed. And worst case scenario, if she absolutely cannot get over the fact that your uncle is who ... (read in full...)
Too soon to get engaged?
Q. Is it too soon to get engaged after dating for less than a year.... like 6 or 7 months? I know that she is the one. I feel it with every fiber of my being, and she feels the same way. We have deep conversations about our future together. It woul...
A. 9 April 2009: As long as you have no secrets and you know as much about her as now as you would in 2 years, then no, it's not too soon. Just make sure you two do know what you're getting into with the other. ... (read in full...)
Do you think my boyfriend's mad at me?
Q. I was at work and started talking to a customer on the phone. He was very nice and we had a great conversation and laugh with something totally not related to work. I told my boyfriend about it after the fact as he was asking me how my day at work...
A. 9 April 2009: He might be bothered that another guy was chatting you up, but he needs to realize that there was nothing going on about it. You were open and honest. Would he be with a dull, unattractive, apathetic girl? No, so he needs to get used to the idea ... (read in full...)
My husband just wants his children's affection but they shower so much of it toward their mother
Q. My husband has three grown children from a previous marriage. Their mother left him and them when the kids were teenagers. He finished raising them with no help from her and she had a good job; was fully able to contribute financially. My husband ...
A. 9 April 2009: Dad has become a sort of safety net, which is good in a way. They know they have him, that he loves them, that they have a whole family with him.
What they don't know is how their mom feels about them, which is sad. I am willing to bet she mess... (read in full...)
Shouldn't DC be a judge-free zone?
Q. I've noticed that a lot of people have posted questions on this site asking about anal sex [how to do it/tips/tricks etc]. And last time I checked this was a site designed to give people advice and and information about relationships and and ...
A. 9 April 2009: You make an excellent point.
Personally, I know I have been the target for many a hot button issue. But I think all that happens is that some of us feel that we have lived our lives a certain way or according to our advice, and since we turned o... (read in full...)
Is this just a natural phase in a relationship?
Q. I've been dating someone for two months now, everything was going really well, until I left town for a week. After that he stopped calling and texting me as much. He's really busy with work and is really over stressed; however, I wonder if he is o...
A. 9 April 2009: Guys don't always balance a relationship well with stress. Give him a little bit of breathing room, and maybe make a weekend date with him. Plan it for Friday night, tell him he needs to take a break and relax, and chose a venue that is more ... (read in full...)
How can I get my girlfriend to feel better about herself?
Q. My girlfriend and I have a great relationship and are very happy. We live together and share everything together. We are both quite attractive but lately my girlfriend has started gaining weight. It's hardly anything and I don't even care. Thats ...
A. 9 April 2009: Honestly, it's something she has to come to terms with. Is there any reason you can guess for the weight gain? Has she just started a new medication, or been bogged down with work? There are a couple of things that make me feel better about mys... (read in full...)
I took the morning after pill in Feb, but am I now pregnant?
Q. i was wondering, i took the morning after pill one hour after i had unprotected sex.it was on february the 24th, 2009. then i felt terribly sick and then in a few days had some spotting. i then saw my period on march the 20th, 2009. i had not had ...
A. 7 April 2009: You need to see the doctor. The symptoms you had after taking the morning after pill were it's typical side effects, but these new happenings are worrisome. Go see your doctor and let them run the tests necessary. ... (read in full...)
I don't want to go on this huge family vacation
Q. My husband mentioned that next year his entire family (i.e. parents, siblings, brother in law, kids) might be going on vacation together. I really do not want to go on a family vacation with all of them because it's not exactly my idea of a ...
A. 7 April 2009: This is one of those marital dilemmas where you just have to bite the bullet and go with the flow. Families often aren't able to get everyone together to have a vacation, so this shouldn't be a regular, yearly thing.
I'd go, but let him know tha... (read in full...)
My ex cheated on me with two of my friends should I go back with him?
Q. My problem is that if madly in love with my ex boyfriend. We seemed like the perfect couple we were always happy.. We were together for 3 years 8 months and after 2 years of dating i found out he was cheating on me with my bestfriend in the whole ...
A. 7 April 2009: Honey, if he is 5 years older than you then he is one of those scum bags who preys on the insecurities of young girls like you and your supposed friends.
Why are you so willing to dump your friends and not him? It sounds like he has manipula... (read in full...)
He is rude towards me after we broke up
Q. Hoping someone can help. My ex broke up with me before Christmas. I was hurt but since he asked for no contact, I complied. I saw him tonight when we happened to be at a table of mutual friends in the restaurant. I ignored him, just acted like he ...
A. 7 April 2009: It's a defense mechanism. Unfortunately he doesn't realize that it makes him look like a fool and will end up making your friends feel very uncomfortable.
Honestly, be the first to extend a hand for friendship, or at least civility. You don't ha... (read in full...)
Will I get charged for taking hotel towels if I send them back?
Q. Hi there, I have just come back from holiday and have realised i have packed 2 of the hotels towels. do you think they will charge for this? if so do you think they waver this charge if i get in contact with them and post them back?...
A. 6 April 2009: They don't directly charge you, but increased room rates are a hotel's way of making back their money from (accidentally) stolen items.
If you want to, send them back. They'll just toss them in the wash with the others. Doubt they've noticed ... (read in full...)
I need to get it sorted but I've never been so scared to go to the doctor
Q. My foreskin is really tight and it hurts when it's pulled back. had this problem all my life. yeah i know, see a doctor right? well it's bloody hard to do that for a few reasons: 1/ I'm embarrassed. 2/ I can't bring myself to say what the problem ...
A. 6 April 2009: What?! Forget about her, you should still do this for your own comfort. Better to get it done now than go through the same ordeal with someone else.
I hope you're doing ok. What a witch to leave you now.... (read in full...)
Sleeping with my best friends brother
Q. im sleeping with my best mates brother what shall i do? do you think that i should tell her or not !...
A. 6 April 2009: Do you like him? Is this something that could turn into a relationship? Or are you two just having fun with it?
either way, she is your friend and she trusts you, don't betray that trust with a lie. Let her know what's going on, how you feel or ... (read in full...)
Two important questions on contraceptive
Q. hey i was wondering, i have never opened the morning after pill packet, and its two years expired. is it still effective? secondly, how do you know if the condom broke? cause i after the "quickie" i changed underwear and there was white secretio...
A. 5 April 2009: First, not all pills completely stop working on the date of expiration, but their intended effects wear off progressively. So after 2 years, it is a safe bet that the pill would not work anywhere near the level you want it to. Go to your pharmacy ... (read in full...)
When will I start?
Q. Well, Im 13 soon to be 14. Mainly for girls to answer, but I haven't gotten my period yet and im worried that theres a reason for it. Is there? Or does it just come slower for some people?...
A. 5 April 2009: If you still haven't gotten your period by the time you are 15-16, then I would have a talk with a doctor. Really though, there is no "set" age, and some girls don't get theirs until they are 16 even.
Don't stress, just be happy you don't have to ... (read in full...)
I need to get it sorted but I've never been so scared to go to the doctor
Q. My foreskin is really tight and it hurts when it's pulled back. had this problem all my life. yeah i know, see a doctor right? well it's bloody hard to do that for a few reasons: 1/ I'm embarrassed. 2/ I can't bring myself to say what the problem ...
A. 3 April 2009: Yay! Good for you! I promise that when this is said and done with, you'll be like "Why did I not get that done sooner? What was I thinking?"... (read in full...)
I need to get it sorted but I've never been so scared to go to the doctor
Q. My foreskin is really tight and it hurts when it's pulled back. had this problem all my life. yeah i know, see a doctor right? well it's bloody hard to do that for a few reasons: 1/ I'm embarrassed. 2/ I can't bring myself to say what the problem ...
A. 1 April 2009: I believe this is called Frenulum Breve, but the name escapes me, even the spelling, sorry.
1) This is very common, not so much in the states because we circumcise boys, but if you look at general statistics for the UK you are far from being al... (read in full...)
Road trip, bereavement and cancer advice wanted
Q. Dear Cupids, At last my question for you all :D. Very soon i am of to America on holiday with my friend and his wife. We are going to be road tripping around LA – Phoenix – Flagstaff – Vegas areas. However, it isn’t just a holiday, there a...
A. 22 March 2009: In regards to your friend, I think it might be nice if he takes his sister in law to lunch. They will probably best be able to read the other and know if they should talk about it or not. Plus, they both had a great bond to his brother, and can ... (read in full...)
What on earth can I do now to get my wife to forgive me?
Q. I'm 29 years old and have been married to my wife for 5 years, We have 1 daughter who is 18 months old and I love her. I have been having an affair with this girl I met through friends since my daughter was just a few weeks old. It was me being...
A. 21 March 2009: Hey, Y'all, let's cut him even just a little bit of slack. He put up with the comments dragging him through the mud and didn't argue against them. Even though he can't really "fix" what he did, you can't blame him for wanting to try.
Jace,... (read in full...)
What on earth can I do now to get my wife to forgive me?
Q. I'm 29 years old and have been married to my wife for 5 years, We have 1 daughter who is 18 months old and I love her. I have been having an affair with this girl I met through friends since my daughter was just a few weeks old. It was me being...
A. 18 March 2009: Honestly, there is probably nothing you can do to earn her forgiveness. She left, and if you read through other questions and responses here, you'll find we encourage women in emotionally and physically abusive relationships to leave. Now, on to ... (read in full...)
| *essica04's friends
These are mutual friends, so *essica04 has
added them and they have added *essica04!
|
