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*essica04 agony aunt

*essica04

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*essica04's profile:

I am 23 and live in the U.S. in Las Vegas.

As far as education, I am a senior psychology major with an emphasis on child development, and minor credits in counseling.

As far as my personal life, I have been there and back! I was pregnant at 17, which ended in a miscarriage. I married my H.S. boy friend when I was just 18 and still in school. He was in the U.S. Army and I spent almost 3 years as a military wife. Our relationship was always abusive, and we divorced just over a year ago.

I don't know which part of all that people will count as "credentials" for giving advice, but take it as you will. I have an opinion on just about everything, and I promise all of my readers that I will try my best to offer sound, unbiased advise. But I ask you to take everything I say with a grain of salt. I won't always tell you what you want to hear, but this is an advice site, so you asked.

Most of my advice is based on relationships and basic sex-education questions. I will never speak about that which I have no experience.

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I like my someday stepbrother

Q.   i like someone I really shouldn't like: my dad's fiance's 16 yr. old son: in other words my someday-will-be stepbrother. I know I need to get over it, let me say that again, I don't have to but I suppose it would be better to. I can't really tell ...

A.   4 May 2009: While it's not illegal or weird to date a step sibling, it certainly isn't encouraged while you still live in the same house and are minors. Honestly, I would suggest to not bring this up to anyone in the family. I probably wouldn't even bring th... (read in full...)

Everyone else is in love with my boyfreind,why cant I be?

Q.   Hi i need help ,I'm in a relationship that I see going nowhere, He loves me to bits my family adore him,I think they like him even more than they like me,he is perfect. I cant talk to him ,I don't find his jokes funny ,we cant laugh together ,I ...

A.   3 May 2009: You are too young to be unhappy. Its not his fault or your fault for how you feel, or rather don't feel. But if you string him along because you want the company, then the end result will be your fault ultimately. You're 20, there will be pl... (read in full...)

I don't want to tell my boyfriend that my baby is not his. Help!

Q.   Im 15 and im 10weeks pregnant, i do have a boyfriend who i have been with for about a year but in febuary we had a break and i got a bit drunk and slept with another boy. And i know for a fact the baby is his. i got back with my boyfriend about a ...

A.   3 May 2009: Listen to EmilyAnswers. Life is hard, but once you start owning up and taking responsibility for your actions, it gets a lot easier. It isn't always pleasant, but if you are going to be a mummy then you need to set a good example, and honesty is ... (read in full...)

I don't know how to break my engagement to my parents!

Q.   I am 25 and I have been dating a 42 year old man for almost 1 year. I live in a different state then my family and none of them have met him yet. He is the sweetest guy I have ever dated, he is respectful, caring and I love him. He asked me to marry ...

A.   1 May 2009: Bring him along. If you act ashamed or embarrassed then they will react in such a manner. If you act like you are head over heels for a man that treats you well and who loves you, then they will react in a more supportive way. Every parent j... (read in full...)

He's angry because I have a boyfriend.

Q.   i have a bit of a problem with a mate. I was with my new boyf and i was holding hands with him walking down a road. In one of the passing cars one of my friends who saw me. He hasnt talked to me since and storms past me whenever he sees me. I've ...

A.   1 May 2009: Some people subconsciously like/ are possessive of other. He might not realize that he wants you in a way for himself, all he knows is that he feels threatened by this guy. Let him cool down. He will hopefully realize what an ass he has been. Yo... (read in full...)

Mind playing games?

Q.   i had unprotected sex 3 times in one day (april 13, 2009) with my partner. im am on the pill, however i missed my pill for that day. ive noticed sum symptoms but it could jus be my mind playing into the situation. it has been 17 days since the sex? ...

A.   30 April 2009: Take an at home test. Next time something like this happens, go to your pharmacy or local planned parenthood clinic and get the morning after pill. You have up to 72hrs after having unprotected sex to use it and have it be most effectiv... (read in full...)

New Colleague keeps inviting herself along to everything we do!!

Q.   I need some advice with how to deal with a new work collegaue. She has only joined the team for 3 weeks and already she is making everyones business hers...she is very cocky,and nosey and the worst thing is that she keeps inviting herself along to...

A.   30 April 2009: I think there could be one of two reasons for this; 1) she is insecure and wants to imerse herself fully in the group to get in the middle of things, making her "belong". She jsut sin't very tactful about how this works for normal people. ... (read in full...)

He's angry because I have a boyfriend.

Q.   i have a bit of a problem with a mate. I was with my new boyf and i was holding hands with him walking down a road. In one of the passing cars one of my friends who saw me. He hasnt talked to me since and storms past me whenever he sees me. I've ...

A.   30 April 2009: Sounds like he does like you a bit, or at least likes the idea of having you available as an option if he ever broke up with his GF. Also, if he is a really good friend, he might be a little jealous that now there is a new boy coming into the grou... (read in full...)

Said no, but now feel guilty

Q.   Hi guys i still talk 2 my ex but the other day he said he may need 2 borrow my car 2 take him,his gf, and his child out for the day and i said no But now i feel really guilty that i said no, i dont really have a problam with it its just that i ...

A.   30 April 2009: You have every right to say no to anyone asking to borrow your car. It's great that you two still talk, but I don't even let my friends borrow my car. My current BF barely borrows it. I get funny when my parents have to drive it, and it's not even a ... (read in full...)

I need ideas for a unique birthday present for my boyfriend

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend 3 months, and his birthday is coming up in a few weeks. I want to do something special for him, but I'm on quite a strict budget at the moment, so I'm not going to be spending hundreds. Does anyone have any idea...

A.   30 April 2009: I usually bake for my friends and family on their birthdays. I too cannot spend a lot of money for celebrations, but for 10 pound you could make him an interesting sweet, like baklava, or his favorite kind of cookie. Make a bunch and surprise him at ... (read in full...)

Is light bleeding normal while on the pill?

Q.   I'm on birth control and just started taking it two weeks ago. Is it normal to have light bleeding throughout the month(not on your period.) But just bleeding through the month when you're on birth control? Like I said, I just started it two weeks ...

A.   30 April 2009: Yes, spotting can occur when you first start the pill. If it persists for a while, or gets even heavier, then call your doctor and talk with them about this side effect. Your body can take a couple of months to get used to the pill, so give it... (read in full...)

My bf called two other girls tried to hook up with them. Does he want to be single?

Q.   I recently found out that my bf had called two other girls in the past month and had tried to hook up with them. Nothing became of either of the situations but I was still devastated that he would even think of being with another woman. We have been ...

A.   30 April 2009: He most likely does not want to be single. He just wants to be able to have his cake and eat it too. Dump the bastard. You don't deserve that sort of disrespect. What he did was technically a form of cheating. If he wanted to be single, he would... (read in full...)

Which boy do I choose?

Q.   I am 14 years old and I like a boy that is a year younger than me. I go to an all girls school and he goes to an all boys school. I am not really that popular and I am afraid that people will make fun of me if I went out with him. There is also ...

A.   29 April 2009: I have no clue what prompted the last 3 posts. That was way out of left field you guys. We're here to help. Honey, just go with the boy you like. Even if he's younger, it's worse to be in a relationship with someone because you feel bad for them... (read in full...)

Should I have a sex change and become a man...

Q.   My ex-boyfriend had a sex change recently, but I am still in love with him!!! Now that he is a woman, I feel like I am a lesbian, although I have never felt this way about a girl before. Should I have a sex change and become a man, and therefore ...

A.   28 April 2009: Would they even want to be with a man? Just because he became a she does not men that she is straight. She may want to still be in a relationship with a woman, but just always felt like she was in the wrong body, hence the surgery. It is not so e... (read in full...)

Which boy do I choose?

Q.   I am 14 years old and I like a boy that is a year younger than me. I go to an all girls school and he goes to an all boys school. I am not really that popular and I am afraid that people will make fun of me if I went out with him. There is also ...

A.   28 April 2009: Go out with the one you like most. And never lie to a boy because you're not interested. just politely tell him you don't feel the same way for him, and leave it be. Also, you sound like a pretty popular girl. There will be plenty of boys a... (read in full...)

Should I feel annoyed that my boyfriend did not call to see if I arrived home safely?

Q.   Should I feel annoyed that my boyfriend did not call to see if I arrived home safely? He moved to another state because of a job so I drive to visit him every other weekend because i have a more flexible schedule. It's a 4 hour drive there and 4 ...

A.   28 April 2009: While I do think that after 6 hours or so he should have called, remember that you can also call him to let him know you got in safe. Not giving a courtesy "I made it" call when you arrive is just as rude as him not making a "checkup" call.... (read in full...)

Which make up would suit my skin type?

Q.   From the age of about 13 i've had trouble keeping my skin clear and it's been really bad for my confidence.But lately my skin is doing quite well for once it's mainly just marks where they've been.but i'm finding it quite hard to find makeup or ...

A.   28 April 2009: I have known a lot of people who really like using the bare minerals, loose powder make up. It is quite pricey, but my girlfriends swear by it. I too have terrible skin that is only clearing up with use of an extreme medication from my dermatol... (read in full...)

Good Relationship, Bad Teeth.

Q.   Ok, here's my problem. I love my girlfriend to death, but I can't stand her teeth. Well, her front teeth. One crosses over the other one like... A LOT. Now I don't want to hurt her feelings, and she has a self esteem problem, but she wants to...

A.   28 April 2009: Before you even begin to bring it up to her, can she even afford braces? here's the thing, braces are extremely expensive. Extremely. And not only that, but if her teeth are as bad as you say, then she might not be able to get the invisali... (read in full...)

I don't want my boyfriend to go to jail...

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for five months now - since about a week before he and his ex broke up. They were together for two years and I'll admit, he was not the nicest guy towards his ex. For two years, he emotionally and physically ...

A.   28 April 2009: You are ok being with him still? Even though he allegedly sought her out and raped her, while being in a relationship with you? If your gut instinct is telling you to be careful and that he did something wrong, then go with that. But don't sta... (read in full...)

Career questions.

Q.   I'm 18 and i have no idea about what i should be doing with my life. when i was at school the advisor was telling me that baised on her impression of me office work would be the ideal way to go.But i just think that it would drive me crazy and bore ...

A.   28 April 2009: Find a temp agency that can place you in an office job, like your advisor suggested. Yes, it can be boring, but it will at least be a steady paycheck, and in the meantime you can take classes online or at school, or get involved with things i... (read in full...)

How do I tell my boyfriend I don't want to get pregnant at 15?

Q.   I am 15 and my boyfriend wants me 2 get pregnet and I'm not ready what do i do???...

A.   27 April 2009: You tell that slack of a boy that there is no way in hell that you are having his baby until both of you are finished with school and have jobs that can spport a baby! And if he dares pressure you more, or come up with some lame argument against ... (read in full...)

Did I bleed because I'm on birth control?

Q.   I started taking birth control pills about 2 weeks ago. I had my period the first week and ended after about 5 days. But today when I went to the bathroom, there was some blood. Not heavy, but light blood. Could this be because of the birth control? ...

A.   26 April 2009: Your body most likely is still just getting used to being on the pill. Some light spotting can be common for girls. If it doesn't stop after a day or so, then call your doctors office and ask them if this is something you should be worried ... (read in full...)

My married boss wants to take me to dinner and to his beach house.

Q.   I think my married boss likes me. He wants to take me to dinner and to his beach house. I would normally think this is wierd and way wrong but he has also said his intentions were just to be friends but he also said I cant tell anyone that we are ...

A.   26 April 2009: Uhhh, unless he is bringing his wife and a few other co-workers, his intentions are to have sex with you and make you his mistress on the side. Just don't go there. Politely decline, say you're busy that weekend. I mean think, if he just wanted y... (read in full...)

Nicknames!

Q.   Okay I really need help what is a good nickname for "Amy Marie" Please help I REALLY need one thanks....

A.   26 April 2009: Ummm, what about just Amy for short? Is this for a pet, or friend, or are you pregnant and looking at girls names?... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is not allowed to see my kids! I think this is so unfair.

Q.   my ex boyfriend and i have 2 kids together however i have a new boyfriend and its court ordered that my new boyfriend not have contact with our two kids i want to know how he can dictate this and also why he has a new girlfriend and baby and shes ...

A.   26 April 2009: I don't understand how he got a court order against your BF. The only way I think a family services judge would grant one would be if your BF has a criminal record. Do you have an attorney? If not, get one. Now. Because you're right, if your BF ... (read in full...)

What advice can you give to a guy who has never dated, has suffered a long struggle with depression, and is in his 20s?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am a 20 year old male, who is suffering from both depression and social anxiety disorder. Both of these conditions have lasted for years, many of them undiagnosed, and have left me without so much as a wink from the opposite sex. Na...

A.   24 April 2009: My current BF is a total nerd. He's a mechanical engineering major, goes shopping for clothes maybe once a year (and by clothes i mean black or gray polo shirts and jeans, and nothing else), and he does not even begin to understand my obsessions ... (read in full...)

What should I do with my dad's cheating?

Q.   My family is pretty normal, my parents are still together and I have a brother. We get on fine. But a few days ago, my mum goes away on business trips over night alot. My mum left for 5 days a few days ago. That night my brother went to a sleepover ...

A.   24 April 2009: Talk to your dad first. Tell him he has the choice: Either he can break the news to your mom and start going to counseling with her for his problems, or you will tell her yourself. And don't be intimidated by him just because he is your father. ... (read in full...)

I told my teacher I have a crush on him, what's gonna happen?

Q.   I really have a huge crush on my teacher... I've had it for a while and it was bothering me a lot. I really wanted to tell him. So last night I wrote a letter about how much I admire him and that I couldn't keep it in anymore... and I was stupid and ...

A.   24 April 2009: This is why I don't recommend students making their feelings know to teachers. But you weren't in trouble, and now you know that you have a caring, honest teacher. You'd be amazed at how many male teachers take advantage of young girls with ... (read in full...)

Should he tell her the truth or forget about her and move on????!!!!!!!!

Q.   Hi! Me again! This is another problem of my other best friend. I'll call him 'ab'. He loves this girl 'l'since last year. They're friends and he's scared to tell her the truth and he's afraid she'll never talk to him again if he tells her that ...

A.   23 April 2009: He should just tell her. the worst that could ever happen is she says no. And if she's rude about it and doesn't talk to him again, then why would he want to be with someone like that anyways? Really, it's a win-win situation, she either says ... (read in full...)

My son is breaking my heart!

Q.   My son just turned 21, and simply has no time for me. Or should I say it is a real effort for him to go anywhere with me. This saddens me so deeply. I did the stupid thing and gave him everything not only money but so much love. His friends ...

A.   23 April 2009: Stop giving him money. If he lives at home, suggest he move out so you "don't interfere with his relationships" anymore. Don't pay any of his bills. Don't bail him out if he gets into trouble. It's time for some tough love. Of course he doesn't ... (read in full...)

My ex has threatened to beat me up!

Q.   I have a massive problem!! My ex-boyfriend Jack has threatened to beat me up just because I added his present girlfriend on Facebook. But I also know that he is cheating on this girl. This girl, let's call her Shelby, has told Jack that I've said ...

A.   23 April 2009: First off, you should have never added her as a friend on facebook. She isn't one. She is your exe's new girlfriend, and it sounds like you and him did not end on good terms. If you have any written documentation of his threats or her slanderi... (read in full...)

I had sex with my best friend....am I a lesbian? I love her so much!

Q.   hello, im really confused... i am 17, and i am in love with my best friend who is a girl also... she is so pretty smart and makes me laugh constantly... i get excited when she texts me and i melt when she talks to me... we have kissed on numerous ...

A.   23 April 2009: At this age a lot of teens experiment, girls more so because to some degree it is more socially acceptable for two cute girls to kiss than two young men. Thanks, "Girls Gone Wild". Look, your feelings are normal, but unless she has said anything... (read in full...)

I don't have much money but want to show him how much I care

Q.   hi this might be a little bit strange but i was looking for an idea of something nice that i could do for my boyfriend like an out of the bedroom type of thing. the thing is he's at uni and has to study alot and i have to work crap shifts so we d...

A.   23 April 2009: Bake or cook for him. I'm a starving studnet myself, and have found that people really appreciate when I bake goodies for them. Tehy know my time and heart went into it, even if my wallet didn't. Maybe make him a nice dinner, something inexpens... (read in full...)

Is it possible to tell if someone is trustworthy?

Q.   in my life iv been back stabbed by a few people. like for example one friend kept asking me who my other friend liked and she annoyed me so much it burst out! then she told another girl. the thing im asking is how can one tell if a person is trus...

A.   23 April 2009: At your age, you're going to run into a lot of people who will sell you out and lie, cheat, and steal behind your back to get what they want. It's just what happens with teenagers. Generally, it takes some time to know if someone is worthy o... (read in full...)

Happy alone but being harrassed for my choice!

Q.   All of my friends and new people that I meet tell me that I'm ugly, boring, and unattractive the second that I tell them that I've never had a boyfriend or even been asked out on a date - and people never fail to ask about this topic. I am very ...

A.   23 April 2009: Wait, your friends call you ugly and boring? Why are they your friends? Also, some people just can't help but want everyone to find love. To avoid the harrassment from stranger in conversation, just say something to the effect of "When it happe... (read in full...)

Could my daughter be pregnant?

Q.   my daughter has had unprotected sex 4 days and 2 days before her period was due, she had her period 2 days after sex but could she be pregnant, i dont want to sound silly but my children are 21 and 18 and i really cant remember....

A.   23 April 2009: If she had her period then it is unlikely, as the uterine lining has been shed presumably with an unfertilized egg attached. Is she trying to get pregnant? If so she should be already consulting with her OBGYN. If she is not trying for a baby rig... (read in full...)

Why wont my b/f call when he says he will?

Q.   I have been dating this guy for almost 4 months now... we have liked eachother since i was twelve... he was 4 years older than me so we never persued it. Im 20 now, so we made it official. we expressed that we love eachother and he told me what was ...

A.   23 April 2009: Ask him. For some reason guys don't think of it as a big deal to call on time, even if they say they will. The usually just think that "Oh well, I'm seeing her later anyways". They don't understand that it can come off as dismissive and rejectin... (read in full...)

Do women like sensitive guys?

Q.   hey there, i need to know you girls opinion....folks around me told me that i am sensitive, do women like sensitive guys?...

A.   23 April 2009: Women like guys who, when asked at the very least, are willing to talk about their thoughts regarding a situation. All women want to see/ hear is that you do care about her and the relationship. Now if you're off crying every time you watch "T... (read in full...)

I told my teacher I have a crush on him, what's gonna happen?

Q.   I really have a huge crush on my teacher... I've had it for a while and it was bothering me a lot. I really wanted to tell him. So last night I wrote a letter about how much I admire him and that I couldn't keep it in anymore... and I was stupid and ...

A.   23 April 2009: Yes, if there is a "problem" between the student and teacher, then it is up to the school administration to decide whether or not to move you. They can and will if they decide it is for the best. They probably won't. This doesn't sound like the... (read in full...)

What advice can you give to a guy who has never dated, has suffered a long struggle with depression, and is in his 20s?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am a 20 year old male, who is suffering from both depression and social anxiety disorder. Both of these conditions have lasted for years, many of them undiagnosed, and have left me without so much as a wink from the opposite sex. Na...

A.   23 April 2009: I would continue in some form of counseling where you can just talk and be open, and go over the weeks events with your counselor. They may do a bit of behavior modification therapy, to help you gain certain social skills and graces your depressi... (read in full...)

I told my teacher I have a crush on him, what's gonna happen?

Q.   I really have a huge crush on my teacher... I've had it for a while and it was bothering me a lot. I really wanted to tell him. So last night I wrote a letter about how much I admire him and that I couldn't keep it in anymore... and I was stupid and ...

A.   23 April 2009: You aren't in trouble. Let me repeat: You are NOT in trouble! If he is a responsible teacher who cares about his job and his integrity, then yes, he will let the situation be known to the counselors and principal. They may call you in and have ... (read in full...)

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