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I left my husband because he hangs around his uncle who is a drug user and drug dealer

Tagged as: Breaking up, Family, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 September 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 September 2015)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My husband has a horrible uncle who is a cocaine addict and also selling the drug and other things like stealing etc..and going causing trouble with other drug dealers. I have had many an argument with my husband about him associating with him as his uncle even offered him cocaine to take. He also sometimes rings my husband at 2am in the morning and my husband will talk to him for 2 to 3 hours, this is because obviously his uncle has been taking the drug and cannot sleep. Every time my husband goes to his uncles house we have a very big argument. So last night I left my husband as I have had enough of keep arguing with him about this. I do feel bad but I do not want to be with a husband who wants to associate with drug addicts and drug dealers whoever they are family or friend. I have friends and family members who are involved in this type of thing but I stay well clear, I do not want to be involved with this type of thing. My husband called me last night and I said to him if I had an aunty who was a prostitute would he want me to go anywhere near her for example, he said no. I said I have left you as i am not prepared to put up with arguing with you anymore as believe me these arguments are making me ill.

He text me today asking me to ring him which I did not. I can't cope with all this anymore.

At anytime I know his uncle could be raided or stopped driving by the police and I have tried numerous times to tell my husband but he does not listen, as I am scared my husband would be with him at the time, I also don't want him going near him as he already has offered him the drug and talks about the drug as though it is something good, and has encouraged others to take it.

I am feeling very low about leaving but I don't know what else to do.

Did I i do the right thing?

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A female reader, YouWish United States + , writes (18 September 2015):

YouWish agony auntI can understand why people would say that leaving your husband would be what they do, but I have an alternative way of looking at it, because I *have* an aunt who was a drug dealer (cocaine and weed and whatever she could get her hands onto).

I have never done weed nor cocaine, but I have spent time with my aunt and her husband, and turned down drugs when they were offered more than once. I too spent hours at her house, a few times when drug deals went down in front of me, and even spent the night there when I was younger. I never did drugs there.

She eventually got clean and no longer is selling drugs. But it was appreciated by the rest of my extended family (my mom's side) that I showed love toward her when she needed it.

Drug users aren't lepers, and I feel bad that you treated your husband in this way. I think you should have at least given him the opportunity to take a 10-panel drug test before just dropping him for associating with his uncle.

What will you do if you have a child who turns out to have a drug issue? It's easy to say "well, I'll raise him right so he won't", but chidren of church pastors, doctors, and politicians all have examples of those who lose their way. Will you cut them off without a second's thought like you do your husband?

I do not think you did the right thing. But something tells me that you left your husband for more than just his uncle, and that you're using the uncle as an excuse to do what you've wanted to do in the first place.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (18 September 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYes.... you did the "right thing." It is only a matter of time before your hubby gets dragged deeper in to the environment in which he chooses to spend his time....

Count your Blessings that you've removed yourself from his circle...

Good luck.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (18 September 2015):

Ivyblue agony auntYes. You are making choices for your life, he is making choices for his. He sounds like he is behaving like a gang banging wannabe teenager. Problems caused by association for him also means consequences for you. Your physical and mental health is worth more than wasting time trying to make this man see any common sense.

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