My potential date is acting strangely. How should I approach this issue? What can I say?
Q. My friend and i have decided to go on a date next week. We always chat online ( we have met in person ). The other day he said him and his family were doing something for his dads birthday going to a seaside so the original date was canceled til...
A. 23 July 2016: I think you should find a more mature partner. To be honest you both sound like teenagers not adults. Your preoccupations with who's online and who isn't; when you get a reply; and going to the seaside for his dad's birthday without you. Come on! ... (read in full...)
I'm in a committed relationship, so how do I stop thinking about a past love?
Q. Hello, I am at the age where everyone I know is getting engaged, married, having kids... I am in a serious relationship going on 3 years this September. I love him, I do, and we have talked about marriage. We live together, we have pets togeth...
A. 23 July 2016: Have you posted something similar before? I think someone questioned whether at your age everyone you knew was getting married as it seemed very young.
Currently a lot of young men in UK don't want to date let alone get married because girl... (read in full...)
He likes rough sex, I don't! Am I being unreasonable or is he?
Q. I recently started a relationship with a guy I met 4 months ago. We went out a few times in the last 4 months before deciding we wanted to give a relationship a go. We recently started having sex and it turns out that he is really into rough sex and ...
A. 20 July 2016: This isn't for you. One person gets pleasure from domination the other from submission. When entering this kind of relationship a good deal of trust is required. It is easy for things to go too far and there is a broad horizon of options for couples ... (read in full...)
Was he interested in me and did I screw something up or maybe he was just being friendly?
Q. While I am walking to sit down, I catch this guy staring at me. He does not look away once I catch him. He was on the computer doing his work, but once I came in, he was looking at me. I remember talking to my friend, who was with me, about a job ...
A. 20 July 2016: Probably just being friendly. You sound a little like you are clutching at straws. Have you been unattached for long if that's not impertinent?... (read in full...)
He's shy. Was he hinting towards going out together and wanted me to take the hint?
Q. This shy guy has a major crush on me. We don't talk much because he gets nervous talking to me. So One day while nervously talking to me he suddenly bring up the food topic ...telling me about his favorite Mexican food he gets from this Mexica...
A. 20 July 2016: We don't know whether he was hinting or not, but what is the real question here? Are you asking how to encourage him to invite you out?
You say he has a major crush on you but this is just your reading of the situation. What do you feel? That is t... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever wasted 10 years of their life and not lived to regret it?
Q. This could be very long but I will keep it short. Has anybody ever wasted 10 years of their life.. And lived enough not to regret it. This holds me down badly. ...
A. 19 July 2016: Your regret lies in the level of trust, naivety, stupidity that you have shown. And that's OK. It means you are human. We have all been there in one form or another. First you have to forgive yourself. Oh yes!
So you trusted; so you were naive; perh... (read in full...)
Do I show him what to do or stick to what's easy?
Q. Hey everyone . This might come across as a bit of an odd question but here goes. Ive just got a new boyfriend hes on the large side body shape im not skinny myself more melissa maccarthy size after her weight loss. Weve not done the deed yet but are ...
A. 19 July 2016: He should be able to support his own weight unless he is grossly obese. Where there's a will...... (read in full...)
How do I get him to move out? I feel trapped!
Q. Hi. My boyfriend of 4 years lost his job and he had no money and nowhere to go so I said he could stay with me while he sorted himself out. He got a job a year ago and is still living with me and not paying for anything except food because he pays ...
A. 19 July 2016: Honeypie is quite right. You have to tell him you need your space back, and give him a deadline to be out. After that it's a call to the locksmith to change the locks.
If he has money problems due to his support for his previous family then he need... (read in full...)
What needs to be done? I am so ashamed. Should I hold back from going into detail about all the online sites I visited?
Q. Hello! so I have this problem. I've been with my girlfriend for going on 6 months, I really and truly care for her. I've gotten close to not only her but her family! She left for Costa Rica a month ago and since then we are alright but my t...
A. 19 July 2016: I'm not sure what you are looking for here. You say you recognise the problem, and that you are dealing with it. That's all good.
You need to assess how much of a problem alcohol is for you. Do you need to give up entirely, or just not binge drin... (read in full...)
Emotionally affected by work, how do I move forward?
Q. Thank you in advance for reading and responding to my question....I greatly appreciate it. I am a special education teacher. In the summer I work hard on course work to upgrade my skills but this summer I find I am constantly fighting back te...
A. 19 July 2016: I don't have personal experience of this but I know people who do. I have to tell you it is time to change what you do.
There is a fairly common trait among The Samaritans for example. After a while they say, 'I need to take a break for a whil... (read in full...)
My close friends are saying he doesn't like me....what do you think ?
Q. I work for a big retail food company. I have a shy male supervisor who has a crush on me .He smiles at me and stares at me, notices little changes in me , gets jealous when guys talk to me gets all nervous and blushy around me but very talkativ...
A. 19 July 2016: You ask what do we think? To be honest it doesn't really matter. What do YOU think? Do you want to take this further? Just because someone is interested in you doesn't mean you have to respond.
However if you do want to encourage him, find ways to g... (read in full...)
I hate him but all I want is to be with him!
Q. I fell in love with the wrong person. I am still young, fresh out of hs and have never been in love until now. We are from a small town in Arizona and happened to cross paths...Well more like he hit on me one day and I reciprocated.It started off ...
A. 16 July 2016: You sound like Burton and Taylor. It's time to make a decision and not look back, otherwise you could be locked in this love/hate battle forever.... (read in full...)
Every one she has cheated on me with was a guy. I wonder, what should I do?.
Q. I am a 25 year old stud lesbian I've been with the same woman since we were 16. We are married. She is the love of my life and couldn't picture one minute with out her in my life But we have had are bad times we have both cheated on each other I ...
A. 15 July 2016: What can you do except talk it through with her? What's done is done.
You need a dash of realism too. You can't be abusive or cheat on someone and then say that you have always tried to make her happy.
What presumably is worrying you is that you... (read in full...)
I need help. Who can help me with these issues? Who would accept me like this?
Q. I am 37 years old and i still play with dolls. I feel that they're real. I give them a name and a voice as well. I sleep with them and I'm very over protective as well. My son hates one of my dolls because he feels i give them more attention...
A. 15 July 2016: Are the dolls getting in the way of your real life? The fact that you ask who would accept you suggests so. There are questions you need to answer, and you need to hear your own voice answering.
I think some professional help would be a bene... (read in full...)
How Do I Move Forward?? ?
Q. okay so, i was in a relationship with my ex for 4 years, which was fairly complicated. We started out as close friends which then turned into something more serious, it ended sadly 6 years ago, and there isnt a day i dont think about her, sometime...
A. 15 July 2016: We have all loved and lost. I'm sorry you haven't been able to turn the page yet. Yet that is what you need to do. The past isn't coming back. And the past often looks better with hindsight.
While you are revisiting this relationship in your head... (read in full...)
How can I stop looking for revenge? Is it a case of "what goes around comes around" ?
Q. How can I stop looking for revenge? I just recently got dumped by my ex of 6 months via text - my stuff all is still is at his house . This was two months ago and since being hurt the stage has moved on to anger and waves of depression. I have ta...
A. 15 July 2016: I think you should be delighted you found out so soon what a mismatch this man was for you. He has done you a favour. You are now free to find someone who is right for you.
I think you need to look at why being prettier, better educated, or in a be... (read in full...)
My life's okay, it just all seemed to fall into place.
Q. Hi guys, I just wanted to ask whether there's other people out there in a similar situation to me. Basically, I'm 25 years old, I still live at home with my mum and brother, I'm single (not speaking to anyone serious either) no savings, I h...
A. 13 July 2016: If you are smoking pot then that can rob you of any motivation unless you already have a strong creative urge. Sometimes it's easier to do nothing than to change. And why should you?
If you are doing class A drugs then they can become an end in them... (read in full...)
OMG I just saw my crush on two dating sites, how do I approach this?
Q. OMG Aunts. I saw my long term crush on two dating sites. I know it is him because he used his real name the second time i saw him on the second dating site. What do I do? He is my neighbour back home (now im studying in the city), so we grew up ...
A. 13 July 2016: The obvious answer is join the dating site. However it seems a pity to give them money as you already know each other - I have got that right have I?
The other way would be to find out his contact details from a mutual friend back home. Or you coul... (read in full...)
Should I disown her for rejecting my name?
Q. This may be an inappropriate question for this site but I am furious with my daughter. She is 29 and she has recently announced that she plans to get a legal name change, and I am boiling mad. I have a mind to disown her. Even though her mom and I ...
A. 11 July 2016: I believe you are angry because you feel that is you that is being rejected. Your daughter has taken pains to tell you this isn't so.
Do you know the line from the Prophet by Kahlil Gibran?
"You are the bows from which your children as living a... (read in full...)
Saw 6 Condoms in His Travelling Bag
Q. Please my big brother and sister in the house, Am married for two years now, we have a daughter. Recently my husband job entailed him travelling a lot. He was travelling today and he took six condoms,he ought to be away for 6 days. I saw it in his ...
A. 10 July 2016: Of course chigirl is correct. Unprotected sex can potentially be lethal anywhere. I just was referring to the fact that Nigeria has a high incidence of AIDS/HIV.
There are currently 3,2 million people living with HIV there, but only 21 per cent... (read in full...)
Saw 6 Condoms in His Travelling Bag
Q. Please my big brother and sister in the house, Am married for two years now, we have a daughter. Recently my husband job entailed him travelling a lot. He was travelling today and he took six condoms,he ought to be away for 6 days. I saw it in his ...
A. 10 July 2016: Well I think we are all clear that the line about buying them for his boss is probably a white lie. I think the most likely thing is that he hopes to get lucky. It's the boy scout motto of, 'Be prepared'.
On the good side, at least he is not inte... (read in full...)
I'm having trust issues with my girlfriend, is she cheating?
Q. I recently had my phone stop working, so i was using my girlfriends phone to contact people for awhile and she recieved a message of a screen shot of a message she had deleted on her phone. The message was her trying to pick up a guy she met at a...
A. 9 July 2016: I think your gut reaction is right. Call it a day. You can't trust this one.... (read in full...)
Grieving for my twin brother who died. My parents don't mention him. How can I get through this grief?
Q. I lost my twin brother, actually i feel like i lost half my soul. I am never going to be the same person again because half of me has died. Family give reasons and excuses and say everything will work out. We had always been together, never ...
A. 9 July 2016: It sounds like you all need bereavement counseling. You can't force your parents, but you can do something for your self. You don't hav to go through this on your own.... (read in full...)
Am I going crazy? Should I embrace that he wanted that type of video from me?
Q. I'm 34 weeks pregnant. My baby's dad and I just got back together today.. We've been apart officially for only 3 weeks. In that time, he hung with an ex girlfriend, took her on a boat and beach, and to a theme park. They kissed but claimed he d...
A. 9 July 2016: I think you are old enough to realise what happens to 'Naughty pics and videos'. You release private pictures of yourself which are open to exploitation now, or in some uncertain future. Keep it safe keep it private is the best advice I can give.... (read in full...)
I really do like him, but I also love my boyfriend. Help!!
Q. Hi guys, So there is a guy who left my work last week that I have grown extremely close to during our time as colleagues. I have spoken to him via text message since he left and received messages such as "I'm missing you so much :( can't wai...
A. 9 July 2016: You know that when people cheat they have often done it in their heads first. Is that you? Perhaps you need to think hard about what you want. Do you want to keep this little fantasy in your head or are your ready to move on from your boyfriend?
T... (read in full...)
Why would a Bf not like his Gf to wear makeup?
Q. 15 year old girl. I met this guy and he's really awesome in all the right ways. When I met him I was all done up. He tells me not to wear makeup. He allows me to get my brows done and straighten my hair but I wore a little bit of makeup on a date (...
A. 9 July 2016: I think compromise is called for here. At your age you shouldn't need make up unless you have a difficult complexion. It is fun to look a bit older than you really are but too much can make you look slutty. Always go for natural if you can. Not only ... (read in full...)
What are likely reasons that a man would ask this question of a woman about children ?
Q. What would you think if your boyfriend asked you "what do you think things would of been like if you never would of have had your kids?" I have kids from a previous relationship but he's always been great with them, so I was thrown off by that ...
A. 9 July 2016: I think your question should be to him. To be honest not many of us took our finals in crystal ball reading so we can't be much help. :-)... (read in full...)
Should I wish my ex happy birthday?
Q. My ex and I dated briefly for four months and broke up two months ago. His birthday is tomorrow and I would love to wish him happy birthday. He broke up with me saying he no longer felt chemistry, and I no longer have feelings for him as well. I ...
A. 8 July 2016: There is nothing wrong with 'Happy birthday'. It's how you do it. Saying it as you pass in the street is one thing; sending a singing messenger to the door is another. It is a question of scale.... (read in full...)
Why am I attracting these type of girlfriends? What are the warning signs? How to avoid them? How to communicate?
Q. What is it with me and helicopter girlfriends? Why do I seem to attract them most? Why can't I let them go gently without it always ending with me making a new enemy and coming off as a douche at the end? Whenever I meet/date a girl who giv...
A. 7 July 2016: To my mind you are over thinking this. You can't change who you are, and only experience will make you wiser about your choices. That's why people go on dates - to see if they like each other and are compatible.
When letting go of someone be as g... (read in full...)
Should I give in to demands for anal?
Q. Dear Cupid, my boyfriend has been bringing up sex up the butt. I feel like I don't please him enough because he keeps trying to convince me about this, but I'm clearly offended that I'm not enough. Am I over reacting and taking it personally, or ...
A. 7 July 2016: It is your body and you give what YOU want to your lover. In the bedroom no-one should try to pressure you into something you aren't happy about. Being 'enough' for someone is not about lowering your standards just so he can get his rocks off. He ... (read in full...)
How do I stop my cell phone addiction?
Q. this isn't a relationship question, but maybe someone can help me. as silly as it sounds...i am addicted to my cell phone. it's been an on-again, off-again (mostly on-again) issue for the past six years; since i was in college. i've hesitated t...
A. 6 July 2016: Change your phone to an old style Nokia that doesn't get the internet. You can still get calls. The other thing to do is leave your phone at home. Yes people can survive without one. The truth is like all addictions you have to really hate it to ... (read in full...)
How can I now deal with things that I now wish I did not know?
Q. My wife and I were doing spring cleaning and I came upon a set of her old notebooks. At first they seemed like ordinary college notes. But as I read on, I read about her past sexual addictions and how uncontrollable she was when it came to sex. I...
A. 4 July 2016: What can I tell you. You can't unknow something. You broke a cardinal rule, reading someone's private note and you didn't like what you found. And you presumably think it's true and not just fantasising.
The person you are in love with is the pers... (read in full...)
When I see my cousin all logical and rational thinking stops. What can I do?
Q. I am madly in love with my cousin. I just can't get her out of my head after a naughty night 3 weeks ago. We didn't actually had sex, but we were exploring each others body and kissed passionately . it was her first time. I thought it was j...
A. 4 July 2016: Check out:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cousin_marriage... (read in full...)
How can I suggest pencilling in a night or two in advance in her schedule, without it sounding too heavy?
Q. Right, I've been dating a girl for a few weeks now, we really get on, have a lot of similar interests, and share the same sense of humour, I really like the girl to be honest. The thing is, she seems to be good at planning work, gigs, etc in her...
A. 3 July 2016: There seems to be a some disparity in what you write. First you say: "I like to plan my week with work, social things, my hobbies."
Later you say: "I seem to find myself unsure on planning things because I don't know when she will be free."
"She ... (read in full...)
When I see my cousin all logical and rational thinking stops. What can I do?
Q. I am madly in love with my cousin. I just can't get her out of my head after a naughty night 3 weeks ago. We didn't actually had sex, but we were exploring each others body and kissed passionately . it was her first time. I thought it was j...
A. 3 July 2016: I understand that not only is it possible to marry your cousin in Nepal but it is a tradition. You are more likely to have problems with intercaste marriages. You can Google this stuff if you don't want to take my word.
If you are looking for an a... (read in full...)
I'm duty bound to my long term partner afflicted with illness. How should I handle the attraction between me and my younger boss?
Q. I'm 42,young looking and successful professional. I've been with my partner for ten years. We've been through a lot. Nine years ago, he got sick. Weve been dealing with his illness and when things were starting to look normal, it strikes again, d...
A. 3 July 2016: When some people have a partner who is seriously ill they bail. Is this you?
And this young boss, is he really interested? If men think a woman is attracted they will often respond. But it doesn't mean they will compromise their job, leave thei... (read in full...)
My shyness means I have no dating options, help me out!
Q. I am very very shy and at 25 I have never been in a relationship or anything of the sort. Sometime back a lady and I became friends from hi to kinda chat buddies. In all honesty she says she loves me. I however don't think I can ever get attracted ...
A. 1 July 2016: You need to seek professional help for this level of shyness, particularly as you are now out of your teens. I'm not sure why this woman would say she loves you. Your relationship seems tenuous. Saying you love someone demands more intimacy, and you ... (read in full...)
How do I get over the desire I feel for my cousin?
Q. I've been in relationships before. Once married and now divorced. But I've never felt what i feel for my cousin. He is my uncle's son. We've seen each other twice during our childhood. But now, he is this accomplished man who's stirring this wa...
A. 28 June 2016: It isn't illegal to marry your cousin in the UK. A quick Google would have told you this. So in answer to you question you don't have to get over it, at least not for that reason. Whether he wants a relationship with you is something you are now ... (read in full...)
Was it right for me to say what I said? will this break help us sort things out for ourselves?
Q. A few nights ago, my boyfriend and I called a break because he and I wanted to find time for ourselves. Since we've been dating for four years, we thought it was time. We still love each other but I want a break for two weeks because I feel we ...
A. 25 June 2016: If it feels right then it probably is. Romance can go careering on in early life. It is wise of you to just check it is going in the direction you want; that it isn't interfering with studies or your career; and that you aren't losing opportunities ... (read in full...)
He says I do not set aside enough time to spend with him. What should I say or do in response to him?
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy from my office. I'm a self confessed workaholic and he is always complaining that I don't make enough time for him on the weekdays. However every alternate weekend, he goes to his parents house where he maintai...
A. 24 June 2016: You need to negotiate. Being a workaholic is not a good trait. You have a limited amount of time on this Earth and to sell so much of it to your company means you have little imagination about what else you might be doing with this precious time. OK ... (read in full...)
What's your opinion of age gaps? Does he really like me? Or does he have a different motive?
Q. Okay so first.. What's your opinion on age gaps?? What's to big of an age gap? There is a guy at my work ( I work in a factory) who works second shift while I work first. He is 12 years older than I am. When I very first started working there he...
A. 24 June 2016: I think this man is a sleaze. He has no finesse in dealing with women or romance. Asking you if you have ever been felt up is on the level of a dirty little schoolboy.
The age gap is neither here nor there except that in this case is shows how reta... (read in full...)
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