A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So, im a gay man and currently seeing a guy. I really like him and he tells me he really likes me too. Im a student home for the summer so i don't have anything to do but the guy im seeing runs a night club and is very busy. When we go out on dates etc.. he's pays for everything, he's a really great guy and i really like him. I've heard rumours that he's a bit of a player and messes guys around. Im quite a needy person and want to talk all the time and see him all the time. But he's always busy so we see each other around once a week. If i go out to his club on a weekend, he makes sure i don't pay for any drinks and he'll come and talk and kiss me in front of people etc. I worry that although people say he's punching above his weight seeing me, i worry he thinks he can do better than me. I find myself checking when he was last active on Facebook and Whatsapp and find myself getting worked up if he doesn't reply etc.. What should i do, do you have any advice?
View related questions:
facebook, player Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, miss frank +, writes (26 July 2016):
Wiseowl...wise words as ever. OP, his advise - please read and re-read... Eloquent and spot on,IMO
A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (26 July 2016):
As a general rule, women very rarely date down, so having a man with more options is a very common phenomenon.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2016): BTW, cover your expenses. Decline freebies to show they aren't necessary to keep your affections. If you can be bought, then you can also be easily replaced.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2016): You have to exercise a little maturity if you want to be in a relationship. You know he is busy and has to make a living. So his work responsibilities will sometimes supersede his personal-life. You are very young, and he is obviously an older-guy. You are inexperienced and this is a new phase in your coming of age as a gay man. Your first is always intense.
You have to use some self-control and discipline yourself. You have to be confident and not let your insecurities overrule you. You knew from rumors that he's a player; yet you went for the gold anyway. So, if you went for it; now deal with it. If he messes people over, why did you decide to date someone you're hearing such things about?
Sweetie, you don't grab a bee, and not expect to feel the stinger. He is who he is, and you wanted him regardless of his reputation. So now you're stalking him on social media and not enjoying the prize. Perhaps you bit off more than you can chew?
Get a grip, boyfriend! You had better believe you are as good or better than any other chap he can find. You thought he was hot; so the feeling must be mutual, if you are where you are. He publicly demonstrated the fact he's taken, by kissing you in-front of a club full of other gay fellows.
Often times insecure people spend too much time fretting about the negative possibilities. They let their worries override the wonderful things they have. They fill their minds with doom and gloom, never having faith in themselves or anything else. They eventually sabotage what they have; because they can't handle happiness when it's right there in their hands. Don't do this to yourself, or to him.
If he screws you over, lesson learned. Until then, enjoy the time you spend together, and savor the moments. Be sweet and trusting; and most of all, be mature. If he turns out to be a dud; remember if you got him, you can still do better. You're young, and you've got lots of years and romantic opportunities ahead of you!
...............................
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (24 July 2016):
 It sounds like you are being bought by an older man. You must pay your way. You aren't his toy. Relationships must be equal and it doesn't sound as if yours is at all.
Stop acting like his pet or you will end up being used not just by him but by others too. Why? Because you let yourself be that way and it will become a pattern.
...............................
|
