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male
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*rokenbee
writes: Me and my partner had a big argument reently. I had had enough of the small meaningless arguments that aways ended up with ''talking'' about it, hence why this argument was the worst of all.The argument started then me and him, and his housemates and cousins went out clubbing one night, and I had felt alone and blanked by my partner. I arrived at the club before him, and when he turned up, I didn't even get a hello. He was already buying drinks with his cousins. For the entire night, he didn't look or talk to me, apart from when I asked if he was ok, replying ''I'm annoyed with you''.-I was shocked as I hadn't done anything wrong, not at least, to my knowledge. So later on, whilst I was sitting quietly upset, he came over to me, and had a go at me for being so annoying and not giving him space. He got annoyed that I have never gave him space, but he's never asked for it? I would have gladly given him some - we had been seing each other for 30 days in a row.So I fumed, shouted at him, told him that he didn't love me, and told him that until he knows what he wants, we're over. (!) The next day was worst - we had big row in texting, more of, I was angry towards him as he wanted to postpone any 'talking' for another day. I was hurt and upset.The day AFTER, I went round for this talk, and basically, we didn't get back together. He said that it was so bad he didn't think it could work out. Now I will probably never see him again as he didnt want to get back together.I love him so much, and I can't stop crying night after night. No one compared to him, no one. And I only just want him back.Please help.
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reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (20 February 2006):
 First things first, you do need to stop blaming yourself here. Yes it is only natural that people do want space outside the relationship on the other hand that is no excuse for inviting you somewhere and blanking you. If he had wanted the night to himself he should have made that clear.
It seems to me that the problem here is one of communication. He failed to communicate to you that he needed some nights to himself. It may well that he had been feeling this and that is the underlying matter that caused these arguments.
However now I think you do have to give him some space. No matter how hard it is, don't contact him for several days. Show him you are capable of giving him the space he needs. Let the situation simmer down, let him appreciate what he had and has not lost. After this period has passed approach him in a calm and thoughtful manner. Say that you want to discuss things. Tell him you realise he needs his own personal space and are more than capble of giving it him as proved by your lack of contact and that while this is the case you had something wonderful together and you think it would be a shame to 'throw the baby out with the bathwater'. Assure him that if he needs space and he communicates that to you you will respect that. Hopefully this will resolve matters and the relationship will get back on track.
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