A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I need some help, I'm really low at the moment. I've got exams coming up and all I do is revise or work and when I'm not revising I just feel guilty for not doing it! I feel like I'm going crazy, I just wish I could relax like other people, who things always seem to work out for, even if they do no work. My relationship with my boyfriend is suffering. I'm taking it out on him and I don't really know why. Maybe I'm jealous because he doesn't have to do any of this, or maybe I'm mad because I feel he doesn't understand and never will. Whatever the reason, we're arguing about stuff, I'm so confused.I've thought about quitting but then I think what else will I do? This is all I've ever wanted, success and a good life, but it just seems like this torture is going on forever and, even though I'm closer to my dream than ever, it's all getting too much.Thanks for listening.
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female
reader, pepper  +, writes (5 March 2006):
Hey,
I am in a similar position as you (exams anxiety) ...i am a married woman with a little toddler,a dog, a house to look after, a busy social life and i am also studying. I was also getting a bit anxious about my exams coming up(and my other responsibilites) but i realised that it is because i wasn't planning and organising myself well. Luckily my husband understands about my exam anxiety as he is quite a learned person himself and has gone through so many exams and studies himself. The best thing that has just started to work with me is to make a good plan in general e.g. how to incorporate the study schedule while one has got other jobs to do as well. So may be getting an hour early everyday before you start your day so that you still have got the whole day to work and enjoy with your boyfriend. Try to concentarte on giving quality time rather than trying to study every time you get some time and getting nowhere (you will wear yourself out way before your exams). Also, may be it's a good idea to discuss your anxities with your boyfriend....he may be able to support you better thank you think, e.g. helping you giving some time off to study by doing something that he might like to do (his hobbies). Also you must have some tutor where ever you are studying...you can always ask your tutor to help you with a good study plan. If you have to change something or want something so badly you have to work at it. Try to keep your work seperate from your personal life....believe me it does work.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg + ♥, writes (5 March 2006):
 I would say you feeling low is a direct result of you being worn down by everything.
Starting at the top you need to make an effort to sechedule in some relaxtion time for yourself. When you start feeling guilty you need to think about this: cramming to an excessive degree is proven to actually make revision less effective. By not taking time out you are actually moving in the opposite direction to that you intend and are likely to make you exams harder not easier.
Draw up a revision plan; with rest-breaks and tackle it that way. Structure your revision with an eye to quality away from quantitity. Obviously you still have alot to get through but make sure it is quality and not quantity that underpins the plan.
The other people *do not* do no work. In all liklihood they just structure things more so it appears like they do less or it is effortless for them.
With regard to things with your boyfriend I think you need to do two things;
a) tell him how you are feeling and explain that you have alot going on and ask for his support. Hopefully this understanding will mean you argue less.
b)if you can make sure you can spend some quality time together in one of your breaks. Hopefully this will help relax you both and remind you of the fun less stressed side to the relationship.
Hope that helps. Take care.
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