A
female
age
30-35,
*harpe088
writes:So I've been with my partner for 3 years . I have had the implant in my arm for nearly 6 years . It's only meant to last 3 years ? Is there a specific time limit for this contraception? Me and my partner don't use any other form of protection. He knows I want to start trying for a child . He doesn't want one yet we are both 26 (he has a child whom he does not see) . I'm desperate for one. we are both financially stable. I am due to have the implant taken out next week . Should I tell him ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 December 2015):
 You've been trying for a child for nearly 3 years already.
The implant is meant to last for 3 years you have had it for six.
You my dear are NOT responsible enough to to have a child as a single parent which is what you will be if you attempt to get pregnant without discussing it with the father.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 December 2015):
 .... Im pretty sure this is a troll. Because who in their right mind would try to get pregnant behind their boyfriends back and think they are entitled to make decisions like this over someone elses head?
And, who in their right mind would not know how long their contraception is for?
Definitely a troll.
In the case that you're not:
SERIOUSLY, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT HOW LONG YOUR CONTRACEPTION WORKS, READ UP ON IT, USE YOUR HEAD AND FOR HEAVENS SAKE DON'T BE STUPID AND CHEAT YOUR BOYFRIEND INTO GETTING PREGNANT. He has a right to have a say in this. If you're really so desperate go to a clinic to get pregnant, don't walk behind your boyfriends back like this. No child deserves to be born into a family built on lies and deceit. Respect your boyfriend and future children just a little bit more.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (4 December 2015):
 What if he knowing gave you something you didnt want like an STD?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2015): You need to be honest with yourself and end the relationship with your boyfriend of 3 years. If you are desperate to be a parent, and he is adamantly opposed to the idea as he has told you, that is called a "dealbreaker".
Do not force this poor man to be a father if he does not want to be, it will not be good for you, he or the child. Stay on birth control until you are in a good position to be a parent, ideally with a husband, not a boyfriend! You are NOT in that situation at this time, I am sorry to say.
Find a new man who is on the same page as you are and that wants to start a family also. There are plenty of them out there. I know you can find one!
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A
female
reader, Sharpe088 +, writes (3 December 2015):
Sharpe088 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for everyones answers and support . I did say to him I was having Mt implant out and he agreed that was okay. Im desperate for a child and the answer is to part away from each other . He says he loves me dearly but cannot give me what I need yet . He says maybe in a few years time but I can't wait that long and who knows he mag still not want them yet
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (3 December 2015):
follow the good advice you have received here and for Gods sake get on some form of contraception NOW. He already doesnt see his first child, why do you think things will be different if you break up?
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A
male
reader, devont +, writes (3 December 2015):
 This post made my eyes water. You have to tell him.
If you are mature enough to have a child, you are mature enough to discuss it with your boyfriend. I am really struggling with why you would even consider this.
Good luck to you and to him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2015): The implant only defends against pregnancy a guaranteed 3 years, if you didn't have it replaced you've already come off the contraception and you need to stop making decisions for your boyfriend and talk to him, if you want a kid now you may need to break up.
The implant can be replaced again and again indefinitely, each lasting 3 years, or you can switch to a shorter term method if you both want kids in less than 3 years.
You can also have the implant removed mid run to start trying if it's your preferred method.
Again do not take your partners choice away from him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2015): You need to use condoms until you get on the pill or other contraception. It's not right to run this risk espacially for the child seeing as it sounds as if they would grow up without a dad. You need to tell him
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (3 December 2015):
 GOOD LORD, girlfriend, of COURSE you should tell him.
You don't come to a public forum for people to give you advice expecting to hear otherwise. Don't lie to the man and trick him into getting you pregnant. Especially when he has EXPLICITLY told you that he is not ready and does not want a child yet.
Go buy a puppy. Go get a box and fill it up with adorable baby things. Talk about getting married. But under no circumstance should you get yourself pregnant (knowing that it's against his will) and then plead omission.
Like Honeypie said, it makes sense that the contraception is on him.
Best of luck. Do the right thing. You have plenty of time left on the biological clock. No need to rush it.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (3 December 2015):
 Are you aware that some jurisdictions consider reproductive coercion a form of sexual assault?
Having a child is a HUGE lifetime responsibility and you have no right to inflict that on someone without their consent.
To even consider doing this to someone is repugnant.
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A
female
reader, Tottochan  +, writes (3 December 2015):
Hello,I'm not sure, but certainly the doctor who was in charge of the procedure would be able to tell you how long it will last. I saw online that it usually lasts for three years.Yes you definitely should tell him that you are going to have the implant removed. He has a right to know, and the right to voice his opinion on whether he would want to father a child or not.However, it seems like he's made his opinion very very clear. You should still tell him though, and first consider for yourself whether this is a deal-breaker for you. If it is, then tell him the same and see what he has to say.But even then, you should think twice about viewing him as a father figure for your future children. He already has a child and is not present as a father? That means that he isn't fulfilling his basic responsibilities as a parent? I'm not sure how good he will be with other children and whether he will be a suitable role model for them.Think long and hard as to what you want. Speak to him. If you have different life goals, then it is time to say goodbye.All the very best.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (3 December 2015):
 YES, do not get yourself knocked up because YOU want a baby without getting his consent and agreement on it.
That is so shady!
IF he isn't ready for a baby why on EARTH would you force a baby on him? You think he would change his mind the moment he finds out?
THAT is so deceitful!
Tell him you are going off the implant, that IF he doesn't WANT a kid for now, contraception is on him (condoms).
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