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What was my friend thinking? She talks about his bad points, yet then she put me in a difficult postion, that she must have known I would not appreciate?

Tagged as: Friends, Health, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 December 2015) 5 Answers - (Newest, 2 December 2015)
A female United States age 18-21, *eekn'boo writes:

Hey aunts

This is not a relationship question but a friendship question.

So my best friend know how i feel about my ex and i have multiple times expressed that i do not want to talk to him if i don't have to (that is avoid him as much as possible).

I can't blame her for looking out and keeping me updated on what he was doing when i wasn't around but I do have to say she talked about him badly but allowed me to go home with him one night because he offered to take care of me and drive me home.

I was very drunk that night and I don't remember what happened that night, i trust both of them but if i was her and i know how my best friend felt about him I wouldn't allow that.

When i asked her why she allowed that to happen she said she trusts him and knew i trusted him and that i was really drunk and needed to sober up before i went home so she let him take care of me and she went home to drop off our other friends.

My question is why does she talk bad about him and ask me to stop talking about him and forget him but when i do she brings him up and allows me to be in situation she know I would not appreciate?

View related questions: best friend, drunk, my ex

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (2 December 2015):

chigirl agony auntOk, you need to grow up. It is not your friends job to take care of you and baby you and "allow" you, a grown woman, to go home with either this or that person. That is YOUR job and YOUR decision to make and YOUR responsibility. Don't try to pass that off on your friend asking why she "allowed" you to go home with him. Its not her freaking job to allow or not allow you to go home with whomever you please.

If you get so drunk that you can not take care of yourself, let alone be in a position to decide for yourself who you go home with, then you should not be drinking. Period. It is YOUR responsibility to make sure YOU don't get so wasted you have no control over your actions.

This is on you, and you need to grow up. Take responsibility for your own actions. Your friend did nothing wrong.

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A female reader, peekn'boo United States +, writes (2 December 2015):

peekn'boo is verified as being by the original poster of the question

peekn'boo agony auntYea :/ you guys are right and thanks for opening my eyes to this (:

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (1 December 2015):

You should thank your friend that she looked out for your well being to have someone you both trust to take you home in your messed up condition. You need to grow up and accept responsibility of your own actions. You are not a little child so stop blaming her for your issues with your ex and trying to pin everything on her.

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A female reader, smith_lily01 Australia +, writes (1 December 2015):

hello, the only thing I advice you to do is still try and stay away from your ex but what you could do about your friend is talk to her some more about it and say like why did you let this happen you know how I feel about him or something like why did you ever conceder me thinking that I asnt going to be angry/upset about you letting me go with him???..... hope this helped xxx

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (1 December 2015):

Ciar agony auntMY question is why did you put yourself in a situation in which others had to take care of you?

You weren't hit by a car, you didn't have pneumonia, or SARS. You drank too much. You didn't stop when you felt a buzz, you just kept on drinking and drinking and drinking until you couldn't look after yourself.

Your friend might not like your ex but that doesn't mean she thinks he's a rapist. Taking care of you is your job. If you're not going to do it properly you don't get to complain about how well others do it.

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