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Am I selfish for taking two out of three of my vacations to adult only vacations

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Question - (25 May 2023) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 May 2023)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a brother, a sister-in-law, a niece and a nephew.

I am single and I usually go on vacations as a solo traveler. Last two summers, my brother and his family invited themselves on my vacation. They then did things and tried to get me to babysit.

This summer, I decided to take 3 vacations. One for four days to a kid friendly resort that my niece and nephew will love (I won't mind babysitting on this vacation since I invited my brother and his family).

The other two vacations, are adults only (an adults only cruise and an adult only resort). My brother and sister-in-law have been making comments on how unfair I am being by taking vacations to adults only vacations.

Am I selfish for taking two out of three of my vacations to adult only vacations?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2023):

You're not being selfish. Maybe a little too passive. You should be honest and just tell them you'd like to take your vacations alone. Maybe you shouldn't always give everybody heads-up when or where you're planning your vacations.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2023):

Of course not. It's your brother and sister in law who are greedy and entitled.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2023):

What you mean is they are being selfish because they expect you to pay out good money to go on a so called vacation which is really you becoming an unpaid nanny and babysitter.

If I were in your shoes I would be spitting feathers and furious. Not worried about what they think of you but thinking very poorly of them. How dare they think you are only a babysitter with no entitlement to happiness or fun? They chose to have kids, it is their responsibility, if they find it difficult to go about having fun when away then they should arrange for someone to take care of the kids while they go without them, not expect to be able to bring you with them so they can save themselves the hassle of taking care of their own kids or paying a professional. What is in that for you? Nothing. Just a rotten holiday. And they know it. It always makes me angry when people assume - especially family - that you were put on this earth to help them and make their lives better.

If you want to be a baby sitter or nanny then become a paid one, for someone who treats you better and appreciates you, not someone looking for something for nothing.

Your family should be concerned that you enjoy your holidays and the idea that you pay to go away just to work for free is ridiculous.

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (28 May 2023):

Anonymous 123 agony auntWhy is it any of their business to comment on how and where you decide to take vacations? Your life, your money, your decision! I feel you are all too involved in each other's lives. Do what you want, you don't owe anyone an explanation

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