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I can't deal with being single. Do I need professional help?

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Question - (13 April 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 19 April 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *ndy00 writes:

Hi. I guess quite a few of you know me by now, but I'm asking for help tonight because I think I'm going a little crazy.

I really can't deal with single life. I feel like I'm doing something wrong, and I'm some how not like other guys who seem to get lucky all the time.

There isn't a day where I can go without thinking about how I'm single. I can barely go five minutes without thinking about it, no matter what I'm doing. I'm 20, and all because I can't cope with being a single guy, I'm not enjoying my life half as much as I should be. I look around and everybody else my age seems to be happy, no matter what their marital status, whereas whenever I'm single it gets into my head and starts eating away at me.

Do I need professional help? What can I do?

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A female reader, CaliGrown09 United States +, writes (19 April 2009):

CaliGrown09 agony auntto be yourself :) you shouldnt have to act one way or another to get a girl because eventually shes gunna know the real you because you can't ack like that forever..

for me, it seems like the people you dont want show they're attracted to you & the people you do want dont even look your direction, if that makes sense..

but to answer your question theres no exact way to get a woman, but you can always compliment someone, be nice her, stuff you probably already know..

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A male reader, Andy00 United Kingdom +, writes (17 April 2009):

Andy00 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Andy00 agony auntIt's comforting to know that people feel the same as me. I feel a little less crazy now!

I wish I knew what I'm doing wrong with women. A lot of people say that I'm not doing anything wrong and it's not my fault, but yet so many more people I know don't seem to have any trouble at all. Maybe I wouldn't crave a relationship as much as I do if I got a little sex every now and again, but it never seems to happen often enough for me.

As of now, I haven't had sex in over 4 months. The longest dry spell I had (sex wise) lasted for a year and three months. This came after my first girlfriend left me after 2 years together. Then I had a fling back in August, and then I had a brief, 3 month relationship with a girl on my course at university which ended in December and here I am today.

What can I do when I go out on a night to increase my luck?

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A female reader, CaliGrown09 United States +, writes (14 April 2009):

CaliGrown09 agony auntI don't know about professional help. But I can tell you that in order to make someone else happy, you have to make YOURSELF happy first. You should not have to rely on somebody else to do that for you. I'm single myself & really want to be in a good, stable relationship too, but I don't beat myself up about it everyday. I think when something is suppose to happen, it will at the right time. And I guess apparently it just isn't your time yet. Trust me, your not the only one..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2009):

i know exactly how you guys feel. i would rush the fact. wait for that special someone to come along. when that person comes along you will be glad that you waited. my brother is 30 years old and single. he don't date he stays at home most of the time. however now he has a g/f and they seem to be very happy together. trust me you have no kids and no wife right now you should enjoy it, when all that come buddy you can believe every thing changes. good luck to both the responder and the original poster. being patient is the key to the right person your soulmate.

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A male reader, RichardJames United States +, writes (13 April 2009):

RichardJames agony auntI feel the EXACT same way. It is extremely tough. Take this time to develop and to get to know yourself. I am very unlucky too. I always do the right thing and am chivalrous with women but it never works out. The jerks get all the girls and all the happiness. Its hard to have passion for day to day life and I feel that to. But just know that life is long and someone will come. Get yourself ready so that when it does come you will be prepared and advance sucessfully. STAY BUSY! FIND A HOBBY OR A JOB. Dont force the issue.

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