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*rancedRhythmEar agony aunt


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Saudi face. American blood. Iron sharpens iron.

Jeddah, Saudi Arabia

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Is it weird that the guys in this one family in my small town always stare at me?

Q.   Hi Agony Peoples. I'm just lookig for some insight. I work in a small town in a small business and there is this one family who always stare me out of it. They are all men and older than me. Some of them never married or had girlfriends because ...

A.   17 August 2015: Those men are dirty creepers. Do not hold any conversation with them. They are probably undressing you with their eyes and waiting for the right time to prey on you.... (read in full...)

Why does he seem to have so much rage?

Q.   Im in need of relationship help.... Heres the problem: Ive been with my guy for almost 3 years now. And just like any relationship there are arguments that happen. My guy has a problem with me "being real / speaking my mind" but that's just the type...

A.   17 August 2015: What is he? 15? Seems hes not wanting to put effort in and is allowing himself to be upset as an indirect way of saying 'im done and need space'. However when arguing choose your tone and words carefully as the other person may feel attacked. Even ... (read in full...)

Could she be sleeping with other men, or intending to do so?

Q.   My long term friend with benefits recently told me that she needed some space, and she was emphatic that I respect her wishes. Here's the confusing part: we still have sex a couple of times a month, and when I do leave her alone she will reach out ...

A.   16 August 2015: She has prob turned her attention elsewhere because of loss of attraction n that could be one or several things. This woman seems like she gets around man that should be off putting right there.... (read in full...)

I want to break up but my boyfriend doesn't, how do I go about this the right way?

Q.   I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over 5 years. He is a nice guy, but I am not in love with him anymore. I find that we have drifted apart, no longer have the same interests, and that my feelings have just changed ove...

A.   16 August 2015: You will need to be the one to walk away and take initiative. Start by spending less time together and slowly decrease over time. Minimize contact and ease out of the relationship since he is having a hard time. ... (read in full...)

Its hard to let him go even though I know he plays games

Q.   There is this guy that I started talking to in the summer of 2014. Towards the end of the summer he had gotten upset with me and we stopped talking. Then him and I starred talking again when he sent me a text. This time when he came back into my ...

A.   15 August 2015: He is the bad boy type and even if i told you to stay away you cannot attraction isnt a choice and you may learn a lesson here.... (read in full...)

Why do most guys like big boobs so much?

Q.   Why do most men (especially guys my age...) like big boobs so much? As I see it, it's just extra fat! And last time I checked, for men, too much fat is bad. I have small breasts and feel so inadequate. Breasts are so "out there" (unlike a penis - ...

A.   14 August 2015: For most men its sexual thats it. But if they are not satisfied with what you offer physically leave them and not seek any approval. Real mature men tend to not prefer.... (read in full...)

Boyfriend is so insecure he is constantly accusing me of cheating and I haven't!

Q.   I have a major problem. My boyfriend is 4 years younger than me (he just turned 20) and is SO insecure! I havent cheated on him yet from the very beginning he's accused me of it. He always says sorry when we fight about it, and that hes just ...

A.   12 August 2015: You cant help him no matter how you reassure him or how many times. Its his issue. Stop seeing him until you feel his confidence is higher.... (read in full...)

How do I stop stalking my ex's new girlfriend on Facebook?

Q.   How do I stop stalking my ex's new girlfriend on Facebook? I split up with my ex a few weeks back because he was seeing this girl (she denied it - but they are definitely seeing each other)! Anyhow, me and the ex don't speak or contact each ot...

A.   11 August 2015: Youre wanting to see things you dont want to see. Stay away from horror films or continue watching this one a tear yourself apart. Forget them.... (read in full...)

Do I let my wife have a threesome with 2 guys? I feel I'll lose either way

Q.   My wife wants me to watch her have sex with 2 of my buddys Do most girls want to have sex with 2 guys at the same time ??? I don't know what to tell her. If I say no. ??? She may cheat. ?? If I say yes she may always wAnt it. ???...

A.   11 August 2015: Are you a doormat? Walk away from her dont let her walk on you with this disgusting dominant behavior.... (read in full...)

Does my ex want me to fight for her or leave her alone?

Q.   After about a month of chasing after our split, I met my GF at her work recently and she mainly said forget about her. She said continued contact with her brother was ok so long as i didnt mention her name. I agreed. Her tone of voice was playful ...

A.   10 August 2015: Thanks again ladies... (read in full...)

I need to have a serious talk with my boyfriend about his use of weed. I don't know how to approach it

Q.   Ok here it goes, We talk about the future lots, of commiting to each other, finding a house together and many many cats. We're almost fully integrated into each other's families such that visiting is like stepping into a second home. My boyfrie...

A.   7 August 2015: Excellent post. Wise question. If your plan is to have kids they will likely be exposed to his habit and may even take it on as they get older. ive seen this repeatedly in western families. To a degree he may be addicted and that too could cause ... (read in full...)

What is the likely outcome? My gut says wait and be patient. My head says I'm wasting my time.

Q.   Move on or wait? My GF stopped contact early june and hasn't gotten back in touch due to overwhelming family stress from two court issues one relating to her ex. The brother of hers has acted as a middleman since june and has been warm n deli...

A.   3 August 2015: Thank you. Useful advice.... (read in full...)

Should I dump him? Also he tells me I need a breast implant for sagging breasts !

Q.   I have been with a 64 year old guy who flirts and talks about women constantly (always younger women)! He rarely tells me I'm nice looking (I'm 61), he stares at good looking younger women and likes to hang out at his son's gatherings to be aroun...

A.   19 June 2015: Hes a f****** loser. Leave him before you lose your self esteem.... (read in full...)

Gym is packed most of the time, so how do I go up to him and start a conversation? Scared of rejection.

Q.   Okay so I have been going consistently to the gym since january. Back when I was freshly single. I spotted someone very cute but I looked awful cause I go to work out not look at guys but something about this guy makes me want to go talk to him. ...

A.   14 June 2015: Make eye contact and smile from a distance if he reciprocates then approach.... (read in full...)

I slapped him, he slapped me back, what should I do?

Q.   I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend *lets call him Tyler) for 3 years. He proposed to me last month but since then we just seem to argue. He purposefully does and says thing to get reactions and when i snap he goes in a really childish ...

A.   14 June 2015: One word: Leave.... (read in full...)

Dealing with body issues, advice?

Q.   Dear cupid, I could use some advice. I am a young woman who has been dealing with body issues. I was morbidly obese through out my entire teenage life. I was also diagnosed with a hormonal condition that makes me gain weight. Anyways, I am ve...

A.   11 June 2015: While im not fat i do get looks often bc of my size. It used to bother me but does not now. Id get put down or teased even recently I got thrown out of a gym by a discriminatory a**hole who based his decision solely on my physical appearance. I ... (read in full...)

What does he behave like this? I feel disrespected. He surrounds himself with porn and girly pictures.

Q.   What is his problem? Stacks of girly magazines, pictures on the wall, lesbian porn DVD's (a lot) and will look at anything that implies he might get to look at woman. I hate it, fed up, neglected and disrespected, just want to know why? BY the way ...

A.   10 June 2015: Hes addicted and the more you confront him the more hell deny and get defensive and angry. Thats how addicts are generally. You may be too late to approach objectively. Unless he consciously decides to admit his addiction or you feel you can deal ... (read in full...)

Am I in love with her?

Q.   What began as curiosity, turned into a friendship. I joined a club in college in hopes that I would get to know her an I did. I fell for her while she had a boyfriend and it was hard. We remained friends throughout that, and whether or not she know...

A.   10 June 2015: She might be debating to focus on her life or to have studies and a reltshp. Back off. Let her initiate interest. You sound weak as all h*** in your question. Love can do that.... (read in full...)

He just blows me off and then I don't hear from him for a while. What's his problem?

Q.   So I've been seeing this guy lately. I have no clue what we are, at this point I think we are just hook up buddies I don't know. Anyways, every time he would ask to hang out or go out and I say yes he blows me off and I won't hear from him. ...

A.   10 June 2015: Hes a player definitely. If you dont get out now you will lose self esteem and feel used. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend was unappreciative of the meal I cooked and he never wants to spend time with my family. I wanted our relationship to work but now I'm having second thoughts!

Q.   My boyfriend can just irritate me so much sometimes. I brought over all the ingredients to his house to make BLT's. Instead of thanking me and being appreciative he complained I got wheat bread. Then he freaked out that I was cooking the bacon in ...

A.   10 June 2015: Withdraw your kindness including going to his family things and maybe hell start to miss the things he took for granted. Then when he gets weak and admits he misses thatll be the best time to bring up reciprocation.... (read in full...)

I'm hesitant and shy to contact her but now sure how to approach her. In my culture I should have someone introduce her to me

Q.   Hi - I have a girl in my office and i think i'm attracted towards her, Because i like watching her, but i'm hesitant and shy to contact her, as she belongs to a different process and team and we do not have any common friend too who can introduce me ...

A.   10 June 2015: Be a man. Approach her. Smile.Make eye contact and just say hello. She will smell confidence and friendliness.. thats all you need to do to break ice with women. Get over your shyness and nervousness it is not masculine and women HATE it.... (read in full...)

How do I treat an older guy? How do they think? Any tips?

Q.   Hi, I've been recently flirting with an older guy. We're both in college, he's 27 and I'm 21. We went for a beer the other night and out of nothing he kissed me and pretty much poured his heart out and that's when it all started. We went back to his ...

A.   10 June 2015: Show him respect by not playing games. Talk to him about that up front. Ask him about his education and touch on cultural political topics. Older men like intellectual banter. Make your intentions clear to him, dont assume anything even from this ... (read in full...)

How to deal with the games she's playing?

Q.   My gf, 23 ,of 6 months is playing hard to get by randomly saying she has a new bf shes known for two months. Shes been nice and not distant. Ive proven myself to her several times in which she acknowledged back then. I talked face to face to her ...

A.   1 June 2015: Thanks for your time and feedback. The game was a result of a fear which is why it seemed irrational.... (read in full...)

My 17 year old daughter has told me she is bi-sexual. I've accepted it, but I am very upset by this news. What's the best way for me to go forward?

Q.   Yesterday, my 17 year old daughter told me she is bi-sexual. I have noticed for a couple of months that she has been very distant from everyone except me. I asked her to tell me what was wrong and she eventually told me. I am very proud of th...

A.   20 May 2015: I wouldnt take her seriously. Kids at that age are often only experimental. Within the last year if anything emotionally significant happen in her life? That can always cause a few things including sexual experimentation as a way to get away from ... (read in full...)

Wife refuses intimacy, except for procreation. Threatens to deny access to children. I can't put up with her behaviour. What can I do?

Q.   It started almost the first month we were married, there was no intimacy. After years of no intimacy and no physical contact in our relationship, I was very resentful. The only time we had intimacy or physical contact was when she wanted children...

A.   20 May 2015: My man you need to grow a pair. Ill say that respectfully. Your wussy behavior is partly to blame for this and a reason why your wife may feel more affection vs attraction to you. Your marriage is getting toxic. Divorce her and get out or you will ... (read in full...)

Am I always dating immature girls who need to be treated like garbage for them to like me back? At what age do girls grow into women and start appreciating 'nice guys'?

Q.   My relationships always end up in disasters because of my one-track mind. I tend to be quickly really into the girl I'm pursuing and every time she is turned off by my 'niceness' and attentiveness, causing me to pull back and make her seek my ...

A.   22 April 2015: janniepeg gives excellent advice ill mirror that and add that you are indeed encountering immature girls. They like games n to be hurt.. sound insane? it creates an irresistible attraction bc it keeps them entertained and dramatic. The women you are ... (read in full...)

New to dating in my 30s and I don't understand the blowing hot and cold

Q.   I am recently divorced after a tumultuous marriage that began in my early 20s and I am finally ready to date again. I am finding that the women I date and get somewhat interested in all seem to have one characteristic which is that they all star...

A.   25 November 2014: This is funny. Chances are they are playing the field or using you. Its funny bc they are stupid bitches and youre genuine. Stay away from bars and clubs youll find nothin but whores there. Do not let these women hurt any confidence. They arent ... (read in full...)

I do love my boyfriend but I'm tempted by the other guy

Q.   Hi - any help would be appreciated. I am on a total mess. My best girl friend and I went away last year and met a couple of guys. Both of us are in long term relationships but nothing happened with them. We spent a couple of nights out getti...

A.   11 November 2014: Your reltshp is done. End it. You are now into being casual due to the emotional distress from your past.... (read in full...)

My butt is not big enough for my boyfriend.

Q.   The thing is, I have some insecurities about the size of my butt. I've been together with my bf for around 3 years and from the beginning he has wished my bottom was bigger. I have gained some weight (around 9 kg)and done exercise and as a result my ...

A.   10 November 2014: Oh f*** him. Hes superficial and stupid. Next hell tell you not enough makeup or your boobs arent big enough This is just the beginning. He is stupid and not all men prefer curvy women i sure dont mind them but his specific preference is equi... (read in full...)

He ended it over smoking so I quit. Can I get him back?

Q.   I was seeing a guy for a few weeks and all was going really well, we got on brilliantly and talked all day everyday even txting at work. I hadn't gotten on so well with anyone so quickly and things were fantastic. Unfortunately a few weeks in he ...

A.   9 November 2014: Good on you. But keep in mind if you do get back with him n you have an argument of some sort will you go back to smoking 'just one'?.. For some men like him and myself smoking is a major turnoff and deal breaker. Id wait another few weeks before u ... (read in full...)

My husband has been meeting women for sex

Q.   Well I have been so upset since 2am this morning. My husbands phone rang and I checked it because he was sleeping and it was an email from a girl at a sex hookup sight. I read it and looked at the pics she sent and started crying. I'm so broken. I ...

A.   8 November 2014: This sounds selfish. Confront him definitely. Give him the chance to come clean. Ask is there anything u want to tell me?... (read in full...)

Why and when do men not orgasm?

Q.   I've been seeing someone over the course of five months. Well I never labaled it with seeing him, that's just how he puts it in his own words. Anyhow, things have been 'rocky' from the get go, from what's. been said, to my behavior towards...

A.   6 November 2014: Either he needed more stimulation and you were doing well or you simply were not. Dont worry about it.... (read in full...)

Is it acceptable when my girlfriend invites over her male friend for a movie night alone at her place?

Q.   My 2 1\2 years long distance girlfriend told me today a male friend from college is going to watch a movie tomorrow night at her place so she can not see me on skype (we do it every night) she says that the time is not convinient to her (10 pm not ...

A.   4 November 2014: Shes playing you. Get rid of her.... (read in full...)

He hit me again - should I leave?

Q.   Hi dearcupid, My boyfriend and i have been together for 10 years but have only lived together for 12 months (because we were both at uni and persuing our own career goals). Since we've started living together its all gone downhill though and we ha...

A.   4 November 2014: This is bad. If you dont leave now you will suffer with your ability to welcome a healthy relationship as your abuse will cause you to not recognize a good person. This is domestic violence and the police should be involved.... (read in full...)

Normal for boyfriend to watch shemale porn ?

Q.   I recently discovered on my boyfriends computer history that he has been watching shemale porn. To be honest I'm very disturbed by it , it had like ladyboy asain boys and guys with girls too but the girls wore strap ons. He had other porn like teen ...

A.   2 November 2014: I guarantee you he has a low self esteem and confidence. Beware.... (read in full...)

Normal for boyfriend to watch shemale porn ?

Q.   I recently discovered on my boyfriends computer history that he has been watching shemale porn. To be honest I'm very disturbed by it , it had like ladyboy asain boys and guys with girls too but the girls wore strap ons. He had other porn like teen ...

A.   1 November 2014: I guarantee you he has a low self esteem and confidence. Beware.... (read in full...)

I don't want to be superficial, and I know the problem can be fixed ...

Q.   Hey everyone......There is this guy I have been seeing for a month now.he is a great guy and I like him.but I can't stand his lips.we haven't kissed yet and it's all because his lips gross me out.he has a habit of chewing his lips which is an ...

A.   30 October 2014: Yea be charming. Offer lip balm cleverly and... avoid skiing.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is great but I need time alone!

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. He's really perfect, or as close as can be. He's kind, genuine, smart, has a great job, thoughtful, respectful, our sex is great, my family and friends love him... He has never, ever done me ...

A.   30 October 2014: This is mature of you. Good work. Break up but be friends but keep convo casual. Nothing serious. Tell your BF that you love him but need time alone to address your issues so you can come back and be with him This is for yourself not him so dont... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is great but I need time alone!

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. He's really perfect, or as close as can be. He's kind, genuine, smart, has a great job, thoughtful, respectful, our sex is great, my family and friends love him... He has never, ever done me ...

A.   30 October 2014: This is mature of you. Good work. Break up but be friends but keep convo casual. Nothing serious. Tell your BF that you love him but need time alone to address your issues so you can come back and be with him This is for yourself not him so dont... (read in full...)

Send BF a naughty video but he has not responded to it yet.

Q.   Hi everyone. My boyfriend is on vacation with his family in China. He will be back in a few days. Yesterday I sent him a naughty video of myself talking dirty and looking very sexy. I was fully clothed but I really stepped it up. Like a real fant...

A.   30 October 2014: Give it some time to hear back. He may be busy.... (read in full...)

He's controlling and abusive. What's the best way to handle this situation?

Q.   Been with my partner almost five years, we have a four year old son together. For the last two years our relationship has been very rocky. It has been an unhappy relationship for me, since being with him he has stopped me seeing family and frien...

A.   29 October 2014: What a grade a a$$hole. He sounds very controlling and bad for you.Stay away and lean on your family for support.... (read in full...)

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