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Why do most guys like big boobs so much?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 August 2015) 19 Answers - (Newest, 14 August 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Why do most men (especially guys my age...) like big boobs so much? As I see it, it's just extra fat! And last time I checked, for men, too much fat is bad.

I have small breasts and feel so inadequate. Breasts are so "out there" (unlike a penis - by the way, I don't prefer a big penis over average or small)... you can't really hide having small boobs, since push ups are really obvious, as are false advertising, air/silicone/gel/water/whatever filled bras! You can totally tell when a small breasted girl is wearing one of these.

I don't get it, all guys I've met prefer them big, from my dad to my friends to my ex boyfriend! Especially guys my age. I don't get it! Why am I lacking in their eyes?

Everytime I'm with a guy, be it a friend or something more, thy just can't help but staring (and drooling) at busty women, they check out big boob porn, etc. And what the hell?!? IT'S JUST EXTRA FAT! Sometimes it's not even fat, but silicone, which is even worse because it's gross and so obvious!

What are my options? I hate being with someone who feels I'm lacking. I hate feeling like "second best". Like "Oh baby, of course I love you, I adore your personality, although I do prefer big boobs better!". That doesn't cut it. I want more than that. I never do that to a guy, but fortunately I'm not very shallow and I don't have many physical preferences so I can lust after almost anyone! I've even been told by friends I tend to like ugly guys, but I don't care. I've thought they're hot and perfect.

So what makes small ones so inferior to big ones? Oh, and while I appreciate the input by busty women, they don't get it... they're always like "oh, but men are always looking at me, saying I'm hot, and it pisses me off they see nothing else!". Well, too bad, but you don't know how it feels not being looked at AT ALL, feeling unfeminine, and having guys always pay more attention to your friends than you! Or having a boyfriend barely pay attention to your breasts during sex, but having him drool over girls like YOU! So NO, you don't understand how it feels seeing the "ideal", and feeling inadequate and like nobody thinks your hot!

And YES, I do care about what men think of me physically. Of course I care about having a great personality and being intelligent, but I've already been told I have both those things... but that's not enough, I want a man to have tho whole package, and that includes top looks!

View related questions: boobs, breasts, I love you, my ex, porn

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (14 August 2015):

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntFor most men its sexual thats it. But if they are not satisfied with what you offer physically leave them and not seek any approval. Real mature men tend to not prefer.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2015):

I also think that your attitude is the problem here more than breast size. You say you're not shallow, but then do nothing but criticize other women who do have bigger breasts. Maybe you need some help to work on your issues. As you have different tastes in who you find attractive, so do men. You can't lump everyone in the same boat for what is and isn't attractive. Hopefully with help you won't feel as insecure.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (13 August 2015):

BrownWolf agony aunt

HA!!! You really don't know men. :)) We like ALL boobs :)) The difference between big boobs and small ones...human nature in choosing. WE ALL choose bigger things. Not just boobs, but everything thing in a life.

Take two stacks of money...would you choose the small stack because the smaller amount is better for you? Or the bigger stack because you get more of what you like?

No matter the size of your chest...if a guy things he will get a chance to see your boobs, he will take it.

Boobs have never kept any man in a relationship. Who you are and what you have between your legs will get first pick over boobs any day.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (13 August 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntFWIW to those that do not know... breasts are just OVERSIZED specialized SWEAT Glands and milk is specialized SWEAT....

oh and since BREASTS are for FEEDING our babies... the SIZE has NO BEARING on their ability to do their JOB.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2015):

Hi, it's a fallacy that men prefer big boobs, it's similar to when you think about how women feel about penis size. For anyone with any substance it doesn't matter. Don't get hung up on what your measurements are. The best relationships aren't formed from superficial preferences but from a deep and meaningful bond between two people.

"Live your life, and love the body you're in, we only go on this crazy ride once, so make sure you get some popcorn"

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2015):

hi

wow are you ever hung up on this!

you seem to have come on here for a rant, raging insults to women who dare to have boobs of any size other than small.

I love mine, they used to be smaller before children, I loved them then as well.

I don't love my tummy. I used to love it- then there was children.....! and other women won't love other parts of them. The difference is with you it appears to be consuming to the point it is a distorted view which is very unhealthy and affecting you a lot more than it should or needs to.

It may be helpful to think about talking to someone professional about this, as it is really extreme and won't go away all by itself.even if you met a guy who adores every inch of you, it's you who needs to know every inch of you is adorable.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2015):

I agree with the poster below that you have a bit of an attitude about the whole thing. You come across as jealous and petty... being bitch about basically anyone with boobs bigger than yours. I have shaped implants... they look and feel real. I did it for me. My ex boyfriend preferred small boobs. I know a good few guys who like flat chest. But I reckon you need to get over it since you have no options ... giving out about padded bras and Birchington about breasts being fat or gross silicone.

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A female reader, Intrigued3000 Canada +, writes (13 August 2015):

Intrigued3000 agony auntI know a lot of men who do not like big boobs. One man even said that he loves a mouthful, no more, and he had a small mouth;) As far as I'm concerned big boobs is just a fad. At one time, the "Twiggy" look was in and she hardly had any boobs. After having a couple of kids you may get the boobs you so desire, and then you'll wish you never did, because then you'll be forced to wear a bra almost all the time. I wish I could burn all my bras;) You don't need bigger boobs. You need an extra dose of confidence. Worship / Love your body as is. Negative thoughts can manifest so many illnesses in your body, so start training yourself to say loving things to your body.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2015):

OP

Sigh, sorry to come off as rude. It's just all the males I've been around lately are the types to jack off to kate upton or whatever. When I was in high school I thought they'd grow out of it in their 20s, but lo and behold, they haven't.

I don't know, I mean, I tend to feel I'm too hard on myself when it comes to looks. I don't know why, if for instance, I think that Steve Buscemi is way hotter than say, Tom Hardy or Chris Evans. Why? I don't know, but physically he just attracts me more than the other too. My girlfriends call me crazy, but hey, that's what I'm attracted to.

They also say that "uglier" men (I'm guessing not conventionally attractive, it's all relative anyway) make better husbands and partners, in general. So I guess I'm lucky. But with women it's different. There's pressure everywhere to look like a centerfold. And I've never met a guy who honestly prefers say Natalie Portman (who really is hot, I think) to I don't know, Katy Perry, in a purely sexual way.

And where I live, most local starlets get big implants to get noticed. And then they get all the attention. And men drool over them and seem to fixate on boobs. It's happened that I've seen girls with big boobs and say, gorgeous eyes (really striking) get no attention to their eyes and instead their boobs get all the praise. Then again I've seen other situations in which a girl has great eyes, no boobs and an, um, uglier but bustier girl gets the attention.

I mean, I have wide hips and a small waist. Brown hair, brown eyes, 5'5, around 120 lbs, small B cups, small waist, huge hips, huge thighs (all the weight goes there, where it's unwanted). Guys don't dig that. That's like an Ancient Greek ideal of beauty.

I guess boobs are a valued sexual characteristic. Hips aren't, big eyes (like mine) aren't, etc. And I don't have a big butt either, so...

And what the hell is up with the anon who said I was just "jealous, insecure, and overall ugly as a person", blah blah? Whatever. People like you make me sick.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2015):

I was going to try and make you feel better about your small boobs but when you keep saying ITS JUST FAT! It kinda makes me feel bad. I have very big boobs, I'm not fat, my family are all very big busted naturally. At the moment I'm a 34 E. I don't really like them but my partner does which has made me feel a lot better about myself. Women get silicone implants to make themselves feel confident so you shouldn't try and put women down for that. If you look at porn or lads mags there are heaps of women with small breasts, some men prefer that. I read some study before that the average porn star is a B cup these days, the huge boobs look is going out of fashion. Women come in all shapes and sizes and men like women of all shapes and sizes. My partner likes MY BIG FAT BOOBS anyway :) You should try and find a boyfriend who likes small boobs, I wouldn't wanna be with somebody who didn't like parts of me so it sounds like you're meeting the wrong guys.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (12 August 2015):

olderthandirt agony auntThat's a strictly personal like/dislike. I for one think they(big boobs) are highly over-rated. I prefer the other body parts over boobs anyway. Too broad a question. It's like asking why some like Merlot over Cabernet.

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A male reader, IanHenryCooper United Kingdom +, writes (12 August 2015):

IanHenryCooper agony auntI'm not a teenager any more (sad face!), so maybe that is one reason why I am not size-obsessed like younger men - after all, I would hate to be judged on the size of my penis.

I like ALL boobs, regardless of size; all that matters to me is that my lady gets pleasure from my attentions to them - you KNOW what I mean!

What can you do when dealing with morons? Dress to your strength.

I once worked in a high street service department that was a couple of shops away from a fashionable dress shop. The owners were two very slender twenty-somethings with near-zero boobs (would that be AA?) but they always dressed immaculately and had plunging necklines very often. Sometimes they came into our shop and asked for help with something or other, and all of us engineers fell over one another in the rush to help!

Aside from looking great despite their lack of bosom, what also swang it for them was their self-confidence and knowledge that they looked the business.....can you adapt to that?

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (12 August 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntI think guys like boobs full stop. Hell, WOMEN like looking at boobs too. Have you ever really looked at a so-called women's magazine? Boobs on display all over the place.

People slow down to look at car crashes too. It's curiosity. You don't want to be in a car wreck, do you?

Has a man ever actually said you are second best? Pfffft to him and any other shallow man like that. You've really wound yourself up into a massive pity party.

Have you considered a little talk therapy to work through this? Or are you fully invested in continuing negative self-image body bashing?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2015):

I have small breasts (34B minus), always have, and I do see that some men notice large ones out in public. But in my experience, yes even at your age, most men prefer a nice butt to large breasts any day.

There have been some studies I have heard/read about in the past that indicate this as well. I think one was by state, and found that in all but 4 or 5 states men were "a$$-men", and not "breast-men". Basically saying that breast size doesn't matter to them.

If you want your boyfriend to play more with your breasts during sex, tell him that turns you on, and I am sure he will be happy to do this for you.

If you are with a guy that is making you feel like you are not pretty and desirable, please dump him. There are men out there that will treat you like you are beautiful and make you feel that way too. Find one.

Also, it may help to examine your feelings a bit. Do YOU find large breasts on women attractive? Is this why you are rebelling a bit and very concerned that you don't have larger breasts? It would be understandable that if this is something you feel is beautiful, and you are lacking, then you would not think of yourself that way.

Maybe ask yourself:

Why do you think that small breasts are inferior to large ones?

Why do you refer to them as "just extra fat", which sounds as if you are trying to make them unattractive to yourself and others?

I hope you can find yourself (and your breasts) attractive, and try to find a way to let this go. People of all shapes & sizes are beautiful, and so are you. Just remember that.

I hope this helps.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2015):

To be honest, I think you should be more concerned with your snotty attitude and less about your breast size. Coming here saying big boobs are just extra fat and fake breasts are "gross" makes you come across as jealous, insecure, and overall ugly as a person. Your boobs aren't the problem. It's your attitude.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (12 August 2015):

chigirl agony auntNot all guys like big boobs. It's probably just the way things looks in your eyes, because you pay extra attention to it (my guess is you don't feel like you have big boobs, and it's an insecurity of yours).

-reading further down your post, I do see it IS an insecurity of yours-

Just about as many guys like small breasts as there are guys who like big breasts. As there are guys who like medium breasts. In the eyes of a man, there is no small or big. There's a mouthful, a handful, and two handfuls.

There's so many women with small breasts who men world wide drool over, that Im not even gonna bother listing them up, or listing up all my flat chested friends who guys drool over. I'm just gonna say this: when you want a dog, you see dogs everywhere. When you are planning for a baby, you see babies everywhere. When you feel insecure about your breasts, you hear and see men everywhere complimenting breasts who look (in your mind) different from yours.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (12 August 2015):

Honeypie agony auntJust like SOME men prefer big boobs, some women prefer tall big men.

A tall man is as noticeable in the "landscape" as big boobs are on a women.

I think it's a primitive mindset, where big boobs = can feed babies. Tall man = protection.

Except we all know that big boobs doesn't mean = can feed babies better or that tall men offers more protection than a shorter one.

You have the boobs you have. I was a 34B (before kids) then a 38DDD while nursing and went back to a 36C after. I honestly, would prefer to have my 34B back.

If you look at celebrities you will find that more of them are on the "itty bitty titty comity" than not. They have just learned to DRESS in a way to accentuate they best features. (which may NOT be their boobs). Models? No boobs, or barely any boobs. Again, they have learned to dress the body THEY HAVE in the best way possible.

At your age most guys are still very immature (Sorry)and I would have to say that ANY guy who think bigger boobs are some how important are missing out on the fact that big BOOBS doesn't make a women a woman.

Find ways to dress the body you have, not the body you want.

And look at the advantages of having smaller boobs. There are many.

If a guy likes you but prefers bigger boobs.. let him go. Because you might like him too, but you prefer a guy who has been weaned OFF the tit, and can see a woman for who she is.. not just as a sexual object made of body parts.

Learn to be comfortable with yourself and your body. Don't look for faults, find your good point and screw the rest.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (12 August 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI was a 48DDD at one point. I was obese.

I had surgery I lost weight

My boobs collapsed and I had a mastopexy which is a lift with no implants... I had these lovely 34B boobs for about a year.

I have gained weight and now I am back up to a 40D which is large for my size but it's where i gained my weight.

My husband preferred the 34B boobs as did I.

Ive been on both sides of the fence and would love to have those 34B beauties again...

IN the long run (pun intended) you will be happier with smaller... after child birth and age big boobs become waist huggers.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (12 August 2015):

It's evolutionary to some extent, but I think it's not as common as you think. Men love boobs. Big ones are just easier to spot with clothes on. But once the clothes come off most guys could care less. My wife has beautiful A's and I couldn't be happier.

However, you don't notice them while walking down the street like you would some DD's.

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