How do I get over caring what others think and gain some self confidence?
Q. hi how i have very low confidence, although it has improved and it some times really gets me down, or i cant reach my abilitys with it and i think it hampers my life, for example going clubbing i dont ever look forward to it i always dread it, i ...
A. 2 August 2013: Hey man. Listen in my experience aboUt 90 percent of my self confidence comes from appearance. Why? Becoz that is what I found I needed the most to look good. That was because its what people gave the most shit about in my eyes. Be it rejection from ... (read in full...)
I've tried to move on with other girls but I still love my ex!
Q. To make a long story short, I cant seem to clear my head about my ex when we broke up 2 years ago, Shes gorgeous and so attractive but its been my biggest mistake of my life, My problem is that i keep trying to make her my girlfriend again, She ...
A. 1 August 2013: Dude this is finished. Id speak to a counselor about closure. Dont chase. Its wussy anyway n I see her eventually getting very angry. Good luck.... (read in full...)
What did her text mean? Was it good? Or not so good?
Q. Hello I,m a 52 year old man , and I,ve just been on a first date with a woman. we had lunch, and at the end of the date, I said can I text or call you and she said yes, but a few hours later, before I texted her to thank her ...
A. 1 August 2013: Dude yes!! Initiate a second date. In fact plan it then tell her. Dont go overboard tho or gun ho on her. Women love that.... (read in full...)
Vvirginity! why does it matter ..... or not!
Q. I'm reading a few of the questions on here and I'm super intrigued (and angry) about males' obsession with a girl being a virgin? Like really? Why does it matter? I would honestly rather not be a virgin (when I get married). But that's just ...
A. 30 July 2013: I've never cared. Quite frankly personality is more important.... (read in full...)
I feel jealous because this guy gets a girl who is a virgin even though he probably is not one.
Q. This question might sound childish but it has been on my mind for quite sometime. I was dating this girl for awhile and found out she is a virgin. Now that is not the problem because I am one too but about a month ago I found out she was actually ...
A. 30 July 2013: My advice: Dont attach emotion to your virginity. Get it done n over with. Eventually your culture will frown upon you judge n ridicule. Dont let them. Instead do what they do n blend in. Let this girl go n just go get laid. I guarantee youll feel ... (read in full...)
Bible-thumping dad's bully antics are driving my family apart! Help!
Q. Aunts and Uncles, I have a “Bible thumping” father. While I love him and recognize his strengths (type A, making money, engineering things, taking challenges head on, networking), I have been chased down and pestered to believe in God on his terms, ...
A. 29 July 2013: Very tough situation doll. Am sorry to hear. What I would do for now is focus on maintaining your relationship with your mother. I would push your father away respectfully. Its imperative you don't bring emotion to ur statements even if he does when ... (read in full...)
My husband and I are trying to rebuild the trust in our relationship but we have totally conflicting work schedules
Q. My husband and I are working through some trust issues. With that said, we basically are trying to rebuild the foundation that our relationship is made on, because we both love each other very much and are not willing to walk away from something ...
A. 29 July 2013: If you cant see each other text or say in person your schedules for the day. Then offer to touch base in between an activity. I do this all the time with my lady. Works great.... (read in full...)
What is nervous porn?
Q. Hi I'm in a six month relationship with a great guywho I recently saw has masses of nervous porn deleted from his pc in his recycle bin. He's 45 and I'm just wondering what this is? I haven't restored these files. Im worried because I have a teen ...
A. 29 July 2013: Yea big red flag and he shouldn't make u feel bad. If he's doing that chances are he could be an addict.... (read in full...)
I told my girlfriend's friend she was hot, and now there is friction between them
Q. Dear cupid, Just eight days ago , I said to my girlfriend's close friend , in front of her, that "Oh my God, you are one hell of a hot girl." . Her friend just smiled whereas my girlfriend said "Enough" . Ever since that happened, my girlfrie...
A. 29 July 2013: You were in the wrong there definitely. That was very disrespectful rude and immature. Apologize to both. Women like a calm cool confident man your attitude is repelling.... (read in full...)
Update on alcoholic partner who can't choose between me and his ex
Q. Mod's note: this is the original post http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-with-an-alcoholic-who-goes-back-and.html This is the person who has the alcoholic mate who goes back and forth between me and his ex. All the answers were very helpful...
A. 28 July 2013: Sounds like he needs a little space. If he doesnt initiate anything like he usually does then that prob means he doesnt wanna be bothered. Wait 2-4 days n then contact him with a brief msg like havent heard from u past few days how r u? Nothing ... (read in full...)
Isnt it better to find someone that likes you just as you look rather than getting all buffed for them?
Q. I have noticed that after a break up a lot of people say start the gym to boost confidence and better oneself etc. The thing is though that if you do go the gym and get a good body and attract loads of girls/guys are they not just attracted to you ...
A. 27 July 2013: Dude ur overthinking this. Bottom line is this if you want a beautiful woman u too must reciprocate with body n mind. Very rarely will u find a woman who will make exception. Women desire a leader someone in better shape someone with stronger ... (read in full...)
How do I resolve my feelings about my sexuality? Should I wait until I have my first crush on a girl?
Q. I think im bi. Not completely positive, but i will see another girl sometimes and be totally turned on. Like girls my age. i KNOW i like boys though. but i dont know how to tell my parents or anything. its so wierd. I dont really know what im asking ...
A. 26 July 2013: Relax doll youre young its only hormones. In a few years youll have a much clear idea of your sexuality.... (read in full...)
After everything do we still have a chance?
Q. i am in a relationship with my guy for the last 5 years. for the most part sadly, it has been an LDR. since 2012, we have been arguing and fighting over petty issues because of communication gap .... but this is true that we have been madly inlov...
A. 26 July 2013: This sounds very toxic. No I dont think you have a chance. The pattern will repeat.... (read in full...)
I cheated with my ex. How do I make it up to my b/f?
Q. I cheated on my boyfriend yesterday with one of my ex. I love my current boyfriend and i couldn't get away with it. I know it sounds bitchy and i know cheating is voluntary and all that shit, but i truely feel guilty and regretted. I wanna make up ...
A. 26 July 2013: Its very clear u still want ur ex. Split with ur bf (hell be p^^^ed trust me) apologize n move on.... (read in full...)
Do guys when they are stressed push people away who care about them?
Q. Do guys when they are stressed push people away who care about them? What is going on with me is this guy and I have been talking a lot about relationships, the future, our goals, work and mainly everything. We been getting super close that way...
A. 26 July 2013: Yea that stress excuse is nonsense. He is not being honest and chances are its bc hes scared how youll react. Dont expect this to go anywhere seems things are done.... (read in full...)
I think about sex too much with younger good looking men
Q. I have been divorced for some years now and I have never thought about sex so much. Last year I had major surgery and I think that played a part in how I feel now. When I joined a dating site I got guys telling me how sexy I am and I even had phone ...
A. 26 July 2013: With respect to you this behavior for a woman your age isnt normal. More for teenagers or bit older. If youre so good looking whats stopping you from going out n meeting men? ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend lost weight, changed, left me and started going for meat heads like her trainer.
Q. Hey everyone, I'm 26 and I began dating this girl (22) I met from a friend in undergrad and we immediately hit it off, however the night we met, we slept together. I immediately thought the worst because but eventually we began hanging out more and...
A. 25 July 2013: Dude I think you dodged a bullet. She clearly has changed a great deal that could suggest a great deal of insecurity n with that comes lack of comfidence self esteem etc. Believe me she is only craving a man on her level coz thats who she feels ... (read in full...)
My landlord wants to date me and is buying and fixing things in the apartment. It's scaring me, what do I do?
Q. Hi everyone, I've recently moved to a new city. I was pretty upset the first time I met my landlord, as my flatmates decided that me being the new girl, they could play a cruel trick. So he helped me out and sorted the situation. Compl...
A. 24 July 2013: Yes I agree. Thats good you question. Decline his invite but politely in fact tell him you cant make it coz your bf is taking you out. Pretend. Make something up so he leaves you be. This is passive I kno but he is your landlord. Being up front ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend in my LDR is barely speaking to me anymore. Should I break up with her?
Q. I've been in a relationship for 3 years with this girl now. Last year, she moved to another city with her family. She used to call and message me all the time. After 3months,she joined a college for her further studies. She became friends with a guy ...
A. 24 July 2013: Yes get out of that now. More than likely shes with that other guy.... (read in full...)
My wife is emotionally abusive and I don't love her anymore. How do I tell her I want a separation?
Q. Hello, and thanks for considering my question. My wife and I have been married for 5 years, and have a 2 year old daughter. We've been through some trying times, but my wife has always been very financially supportive as the main breadwinner of t...
A. 24 July 2013: Thats messed up. I can tell youre too nice of a guy to bark back at her. This sounds toxic. Man up n tell her. N say with a firm convicting tone of voice. No wussy stuff. Good luck.... (read in full...)
I am too scared by previous relationships to say "I love you"
Q. I suffered too much being too much emotionally involved in my previous relationship . In simple words, I was too romantic and my ex girl friends and then wife walked over me. Now I have met this this American girl in Dubai and whom I liked but I ...
A. 23 July 2013: This isnt good. Wiseowl hits solid points. If you need more time to develop feelings becoz u dont feel them naturally thats ok but if u love her n dont say it you will eventually break things off out of fear which in her eyes is vacant n shocking n ... (read in full...)
Is she just not interested or has something suddenly come up?
Q. Thanks for reading...I'm in a bit of a tizzy and not sure what to think so need an outside perspective... I met a girl in a bar a couple of weeks ago. She seemed lovely and we took photos and she put her number in my phone. We spoke for a few ...
A. 21 July 2013: Hey man
If she distances herself you distance too. Its logical. Dont pursue. Youll make her angry as she is busy thinking. Backoff and dont pepper her with messages instead send one a day assuming she continues to ignore. Say good morning hv a good... (read in full...)
Would it be creepy if I texted the girl I like to tell her I think she's cute?
Q. Hi. Girls in the forum, I wanted to ask whether you would find the following thing I'm thinking of creepy or not: There's this girl whom I find to be really attractive whom I've met (or rather come to know of) as part of occasional workp...
A. 21 July 2013: Wiseowl gives solid advice. Exactly man up. Ask her out. Even if she gave permission to text her for non bus purposes wat youd be doing is wussy n she wud see that right away n prob either ignore you or tell you off.... (read in full...)
Is the Personal Trainer Guy Interested in Me or just Grooming Me for a Sale?
Q. I know this sounds like a really cheesy cliché question that hundreds of women have asked many times but I'm more confused by my potential personal trainer. After going in to speak to one three days ago and asking about what the sessions involve/...
A. 14 July 2013: Go with ur instinct. His behavior is professional but the fact he put u as priority is a huge indicator of interest.... (read in full...)
He's my first, I'm not his. I find myself wishing I'd done more before I met him
Q. I have been with my boyfriend now for 6 months. Prior to getting closer, he explained early on that he's had 2 sexual encounters. One was oral (received/given) and the other was actual sex. He doesn't count it as real sex because the girl got on top ...
A. 11 July 2013: Relax sweets. You are missing the big picture. Hes wanting you. Sees you in his future. The past is irrelevant. Hes practically inexperienced n has plenty to learn trust me n u two can teach each other! Get out of the past.... (read in full...)
My online guy is giving me the silent treatment
Q. Hi, Guy’s I hope you can help. I met a guy online. We have been talking for two months now. He asked me if we could become exclusive since we got along so well. I said yes. We haven’t met yet because he lives long distance. I have asked hi...
A. 11 July 2013: Ahh this is a bad situation definitely. He sounds bi polar or at the very least very insecure. Hes doing u a favor by going silent. Get away from him.... (read in full...)
Fell too hard too soon, took a break, now what?
Q. Do you ever feel like you get yourself into a situation and when you get out off it sometimes people draw you back in?? A few months ago one of my friends came over when my parents were on holiday. He was always just a friend, someone i never ...
A. 10 July 2013: This guy sounds desperate. He seems like the type to say anything to a woman just for a lay. Having sex was his first intention and at his age usually its the only intention. Imo he has used you. Im sorry.... (read in full...)
He has funny marks on his face that he says came from playing basketball. Is he cheating?
Q. So here is my story; In the beginning of June my boyfriend broke his phone, he has been jobless and his parents have kicked him out quite a few times, and also his car broke down. So basically we haven't really talked, and when we do its every other ...
A. 8 July 2013: This guy sounds like a mess. He will lower ur self esteem. I kno u american women like 'project' men to put together but pls save urself time n energy n let him go.... (read in full...)
After first time sex that I thought we both enjoyed, the next morning he tells me my behind smells!
Q. Ok so I started seeing this guy and we dig each other. The other night we had sex for the first time and everything was going well.... we had amazing sexual chemistry and couldn't keep out hands off each other. Throughout the night he kept telling ...
A. 7 July 2013: Loool ahh at least he was honest. Would u rather have him hide this from you?... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a woman with a low self esteem who keeps telling me to leave her alone?
Q. I need some help.. 8 days ago this woman pushed me away. Saying I wanna be alone I hv no feelings for you. Something I do not buy based on all her feedback our intimacy dates n her body language. I told her I love her. She says move on im not inte...
A. 7 July 2013: Thank you all for the answers. Yes ive decided to leave her be. Im in shock our last date was very intense and mutual attraction was there. She said some intense things to me. Its possible im being rejected because she is only familiar with men that ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a woman with a low self esteem who keeps telling me to leave her alone?
Q. I need some help.. 8 days ago this woman pushed me away. Saying I wanna be alone I hv no feelings for you. Something I do not buy based on all her feedback our intimacy dates n her body language. I told her I love her. She says move on im not inte...
A. 6 July 2013: I have a pretty good idea about ignoring her n see how that goes. Shes a chaser. Im recalling our dates n subtle things tell me if I backoff n show no interest shell come to me. Ill also add she did respond to my messages today about wat she thinks ... (read in full...)
Why are all of these girls bumping into me?
Q. I have a while ago come off a diet where I lost a lot of weight. Until then I had been very obese since childhood and never seemed to attract the opposite sex. However, now it is looking like that has changed and since my weight loss, I am finding ...
A. 3 July 2013: Yes they are hinting to u. Stop n in a serious tone say wats it feel like hittin steel then wink ;).. Great icebreaker. Feels good doesnt it? Just wait. The p###y wont stop coming to u.... (read in full...)
All seemed OK, so why did she say: "'I want to be alone and have no feelings for you.' "
Q. Say you're seeing a woman for two months and everything is clicking, sex chemistry, views etc and suddenly she says 'I want to be alone and have no feelings for you.' And the time we spend together is amazing and fun. And she feels the same. I...
A. 2 July 2013: Nope no sex in fact shes not at all easy n has proven that to me.... (read in full...)
All seemed OK, so why did she say: "'I want to be alone and have no feelings for you.' "
Q. Say you're seeing a woman for two months and everything is clicking, sex chemistry, views etc and suddenly she says 'I want to be alone and have no feelings for you.' And the time we spend together is amazing and fun. And she feels the same. I...
A. 1 July 2013: Lol thx for the answers
I figured out my next move. Shes had a bad run with men n shes scared to get emotionally involved so she has withdrawn herself.... (read in full...)
Was she a virgin or not?
Q. Maybe my question is stupid, bare with me. recently my gf and I were playing a game, something like truth or dare, I asked her with how many guys she has have sex with, she hesitated for a bit and she answered "only with you". when we had sex for ...
A. 25 June 2013: Lol youre a man and youre worried about this? Cmon pal focus on pleasing each other and getting to kno her body. Forget about the rest its not important.... (read in full...)
Okay for a model girlfriend to kiss another guy model for photo shoot???
Q. My girlfriend does allot of modeling and yesterday she told me that she might be in a photo shoot where she will have to kiss another guy model. I'll be honest and say I am very protective of her and I don't even like the idea of a guy touching her ...
A. 24 June 2013: Its business. If u trust her have no fear it wont mean anything.... (read in full...)
He watches porn every time we have sex!
Q. Why does my man of 4 years watch porn every time we have sex? Is there anyone else experiencing the same thing?...
A. 24 June 2013: Prob becoz hes used to that stimulation n needs it to get off. That can hurt ur confidence but talk to him.... (read in full...)
Will I be able to find a girl to date? I'm not interested in sex!
Q. I get plenty of attention from girls and even occasionally some even ask me out, which from what I hear in not the usual. My problem is that I am not interested in sex, namely penetration. I would very much enjoy foreplay, cuddling, kissing and ...
A. 23 June 2013: Hey man I'll be honest it is weird. It seems u lack confidence. A BIG trait women go for. But at the same time if they sense little or none exists they run away. Its wussy. Why are you on here seeking their approval if its ok or not? Vagina is am... (read in full...)
Boyfriend can't make me cum so I took care of myself but he woke up and caught me and is angry!
Q. Hello aunts and uncles Bf and me have an ok sex life... he gets it anytime he wants, but since he works so many hours I do not initiate(I pounce on his days off) and let him rest during the work days. i never cum unless I touch myself, but h...
A. 22 June 2013: Loool he needs to take a chill pill n embrace that s#it ;)... (read in full...)
I am almost completely flat-chested, my self-esteem is in the toilet and it's affecting my relationships.
Q. Well, the title says it. I am basically the equivalent of a 32AA bra size, and even then my bras tend to slide around because nothing fills them up. I've always been a slim build and then recently put on some weight and I now weigh a comfortable 125 ...
A. 16 June 2013: A lot of my self confidence has come from my change in appearance. I needed ppls validation to feel good about myself. A weakness in my personality but now that I hv confidence in my looks iv got a huge shield around me now so big I dont care wat ... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me what's going on here?
Q. I've been "going out" with this girl who I really really like for the past 2 months. We get along great, whenever we are together we have a really nice time. She texts me A LOT, but mostly random stuff. Thing is, aside from that, she doesn't...
A. 16 June 2013: Cindy gives excellent advice. I would listen to it.... (read in full...)
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