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What does he behave like this? I feel disrespected. He surrounds himself with porn and girly pictures.

Tagged as: Pornography, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 June 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 10 June 2015)
A female United States age , anonymous writes:

What is his problem? Stacks of girly magazines, pictures on the wall, lesbian porn DVD's (a lot) and will look at anything that implies he might get to look at woman.

I hate it, fed up, neglected and disrespected, just want to know why? BY the way he is 53 yrs. old

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (10 June 2015):

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntHes addicted and the more you confront him the more hell deny and get defensive and angry. Thats how addicts are generally. You may be too late to approach objectively. Unless he consciously decides to admit his addiction or you feel you can deal with it, you may just need to end things.

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A male reader, empty-1 United States +, writes (10 June 2015):

Compulsion. Possibly out of his direct conscious control. Does that make the behavior ok? no. Does it help categorize and put it in to context? Possibly.

Porn is like any other human activity that activates the pleasure or reward centers of the human brain. It can become compulsive (addictive) to people with undiscovered or unresolved underlying issues. If it has interrupted the normal flow of your romantic relationship, and he is aware that this is the case, then it is an addiction. If it were not porn, it would be sex, gambling, driving fast, or any one of a billion other things.

This man needs help. Professional help. As soon as you learn that YOU are NOT the problem, and the porn is not the CAUSE of the problem, then you can realize that HE is the problem. Only HE can solve it, and only with real, professional intervention.

However, for such an intervention to work, he has to agree that HE has a problem, and agree to take ownership of the solution.

If he can or will not take such a stance then YOU need to decide if this is something you can live with or not, and behave accordingly.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2015):

So, why are you sticking around? It doesn't matter if it's your boyfriend or husband. If you don't want to deal with it, either kick him out or leave.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 June 2015):

Honeypie agony auntSounds like a midlife crisis to me, honestly what GROWN man hasn't outgrown having centerfold on the walls?

What is his problem? IF he is your BF, I would say his problem is that he hasn't figured out that porn, girly magazines and pictures on the wall has a DETRIMENTAL (for the most part) to having a grown up relationship.

Or that he just really really enjoys objectifying women as walking pieces of meat who are there for his viewing pleasure.

Or he knows you dislike it and he is doing ti to annoy you and push you away. To make you feel insecure.

Is this your husband or BF?

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