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How to deal with the games she's playing?

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Question - (31 May 2015) 6 Answers - (Newest, 1 June 2015)
A male Saudi Arabia age 30-35, *rancedRhythmEar writes:

My gf, 23 ,of 6 months is playing hard to get by randomly saying she has a new bf shes known for two months. Shes been nice and not distant. Ive proven myself to her several times in which she acknowledged back then. I talked face to face to her oldest and closest sibling her brother and he confirmed theres no guy and said shes acting like a teenager. She was hurt in her past. This is the first game shes played. Pull away to show her no tolerance for games or chase for who knows how long to continue to prove myself? Appreciate any insight and help.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (1 June 2015):

Fear is a red-flag. It means she's not ready or mature enough to deal with someone your age.

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (1 June 2015):

TrancedRhythmEar is verified as being by the original poster of the question

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntThanks for your time and feedback. The game was a result of a fear which is why it seemed irrational.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 May 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI would wish her good luck with her "other" BF and quit talking to her. Honestly, if she has been hurt in the past SHE should know playing GAMES is not the way to make a relationship work.

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A male reader, Code Warrior United States + , writes (31 May 2015):

Code Warrior agony auntI agree with WiseOwlE, why keep such childish nonsense in your life? If it were me, I'd walk away. I wouldn't make a big speech and I wouldn't engage her in much conversation. I'd simply inform her that the boyfriend joke is immature at best, and if true, is cheating. Either way, I'm not going to be involved with someone who plays such games. She may try to explain it, or accuse you of not being able to take a joke, or she may just insult you and attempt to humiliate you with some comment about your sexual prowess, but I wouldn't bite on any of that, I'd just say goodbye and walk away.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (31 May 2015):

I don't understand why a 23 year-old woman is pretending to have another boyfriend? I don't think she's playing hard to get at all. That's a little wacko. Why would you discourage someone who likes you, by telling them you like someone else? Not only is that adolescent, it's mean.

In all fairness to her, you just may be coming on too strong; and a little too intense for her personality-type.

She is quite young and inexperienced, and you may be demanding a lot in too short a period of time knowing her.

Did she recently get out of a failed relationship? She may still be clinging to her ex; or still wounded from the breakup. Even if it has been over a year that it happened.

Don't ask siblings personal-questions behind your partner's back. That's sly and intrusive. Ask her what you want to know about her. If she's lying to you, that ought to be a red-flag or a warning. Asking her brother may get answers to your questions; but the nature of your questions may raise red-flags with him; even though he may seem cooperative or empathetic. He is evaluating the type of guy you are; and will play your buddy just to know who's messing with his sister. I know I would.

I know you like her and all, but she isn't showing signs of maturity; nor seems to be reciprocating the feelings you have for her. She's "playing games;" because she wants to sabotage things before they get too serious. She knows she's flaky. She may be holding out to see if she can get her ex back. Being hurt shouldn't make you lie to people about having someone else. There may be a particle of truth there.

Insecure people often blame others for their heartbreak. They are always victims; but never own any responsibility for the part they played in a failed relationship. That often being they had little to offer on their end, but set high demands and expectations on their mate. Who in turn tired of their neediness or clinginess. That's to be expected from someone who is new to love, and hasn't really had many relationships to learn from. They have childish or underdeveloped perceptions of what a real relationship should be like. They learn in time. Best with people closer to their level of understanding. They can be a hand-full when they are so young.

You're too mature to be dealing with this foolishness; and I advise you to rollback your feelings on this one. Don't get taken-in by her youth; so many guys get caught-up in youth, beauty, and "perceived" innocence. In turn, they

don't really pay attention to what's beneath what they see. She isn't behaving like she can handle a real relationship.

There's something about you that she's being cautious about.

You're too old for games. I'd take a walk.

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A male reader, DRAGBOY United States +, writes (31 May 2015):

DRAGBOY agony auntno idea but you can look it up on wikihow or something. for 6 months tho? I don't think you should do this anymore. that will be intolerable for me. you should say your leaving town for good then see what happen. if she buys it, then she wants it. if she doesn't, then well, she doesn't. BEWARE: don't tell her that your leaving town when you aren't. or other BS.

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