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... Send *tarlights a private message | | | *tarlights's profile:What qualifies me to help people? I say its because i've met people from all walks of life, i've heard all the stories, ive even lived some incredible AND heart wrenching stories myself and I am not type to judge others.
In my spare time I enjoy reading, socializing and writing.
Remember no problem is too big that it cant be solved.
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| Latest articles: The Art of Being Happy!
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: The Art of Being Happy The key we have been given in this life which sets us apart from any creature living on this planet, is that as humans, we have free will to do good or bad. To ourselves or to others. Simply We have a choice. W...
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I'm chinese and my bf is indian, parents would disown me if I married him. What should I do?
Q. I am Chinese and I've been dating my secret indian bf of nearly 2 years . I told my parents about two years ago (I'm 21 now) that I was in love with him and my dad threatened to disown me. So I said I would think about and deal with it myself and ...
A. 4 July 2009: your still very young and altho u love your bf your parents feelings too should be considered.
im indian myself, and i can see wat commotion it can bring, but ive heard of a chinese indian couple who married and have a daughter and still going st... (read in full...)
Can tampons break my hymen?
Q. can i break my hymen by inserting a tampon? i want to beak it. im a virgin and have never used tampons. but i dont know if its already broken......
A. 4 July 2009: yes ur hymen can break with a tampon.
u wont know if its broken until u lose virginity.
if u dont bleed then it means it was broken before.
... (read in full...)
What can I do for my boyfriend that is special but doesn't cost much?
Q. I have an amazing boyfriend and I want to do something special for him, we're going on vacation in a month so I don't have a bunch of money to spend. Any suggestions?...
A. 4 July 2009: mmmm there's loads of nice things u can do for him for free, like cook him a romantic meal,
or massage him!
or buy him a best boyfriend card or tshirt and tell him how much u adore him!!
good luck!!... (read in full...)
My wife and I have too many disagreements! I feel like not having sex with her...
Q. Hi, My wife and I have been married for almost 17 years. We have three great boys. The relationship has had arguments in between, but I think it is normal. Lately, I have not felt like making love to my wife. It's not that I am having an affai...
A. 4 July 2009: you need to tell her u love her and that ur sorry u dont make love to her becoz ur just not feeling in the mood. maybe she will dress up provocatively one nite and create a better atmosphere at home for u to get in the mood!
either way be honest w... (read in full...)
I've never had sex, but I've masturbated before and bled. Am I still a virgin or not?
Q. Hi, i was wondering about my virginity. I masturbated a lot when i was a teenager but not as often now. The reason i stopped was i bled a little when i inserted a handle into my vagina.then tonight i decided to try masturbating using ice. the thing ...
A. 4 July 2009: yes it is possible u broke your hymen hence the bleeding.
yes u are a virgin because u need to have sex to say u are not.
altho if u do marry, u might not bleed on your first nite, we cant be sure, but im guessing the hymen did break.
good l... (read in full...)
I'd like to have a baby but I have some concerns...
Q. Dear Cupid, I am 24 and would like to start trying for a baby in a year. I am in grad school currently, and will be very financially secure when I am done. My question is, how do I tell my boyfriend? He is 10 yrs older than I am, and had a ba...
A. 4 July 2009: without knowing what drugs he takes i dont know if it can create abnormalities, yes sometimes but it depends on what drugs he's taking.
why are you so hung up over having a baby? i mean, yes i love babies too, but u need to be in a financia... (read in full...)
He wants me to talk dirty...what do I say??
Q. My man wants me to talk dirty to him - what do i say exactly?...
A. 4 July 2009:
the best thing would be to pay him lots of compliments in a seductive way,
tell him how endowed he is etc etc and go from there.
that normally works! ... (read in full...)
We're having oral sex problems...help?
Q. Kind of a weird problem, but I need help. Me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half, and this problem started about a month ago. We have sex every day and recently I haven't been able to give him oral, not at all, the thought...
A. 4 July 2009: have u told him he's too hairy down there? and the hair's obviously smell after a while?
u shud be honest with him, coz to be honest if he wants it good, hairy is not the way to go.
he should shave it and make it more cleaner for you.
u ha... (read in full...)
I have an enormous jealousy issue!
Q. long explanation but here it goes...childhood for me was not great. parents split when i was 5. was back and forth between the 2 till 11yrs old. i watched my mother marry ten times(yes i said 10) and my father i think 3 or 4. i said that to say t...
A. 4 July 2009: ok u have insecurity issues developed out of your past.
your parents married loads of times and not shown u stability within love and your ex cheated on you.
all these emotions are brought up when your bf stares at another women, maybe u m... (read in full...)
What can I do to sort out our friendship again?
Q. hello :)Okay, so recently a friend of mine said that he really liked me, I, unfortunately, didn't feel the same way back as I like another guy. He said he was okay with this, although pretty upset. I asked him if we could still stay such good ...
A. 4 July 2009: sometimes when guys dont get what they want they turn a bit stuffy.
its not your fault you havent done anything wrong he's just a bit offended becoz u dont feel the same way for him.
just give him some space and see if he calms down.
s... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is hanging out with a friend who is a bad influence! How can I stop this?
Q. Well Ive been together with this girl for almost a year and I love her a lot. I always am there for her I always make her nice dinners, and take care of her when she's sick and stuff. She always tells me she loves me and would always listen to me. I ...
A. 4 July 2009: you cant control your gf, she's old enough to make her own decisions and tho u advised her for her own benefit she hasnt listened to you.
the best thing would be to stop calling and when she is ready she will contact u to tell u whats been goi... (read in full...)
Can homosexuals practice tantric sex?
Q. Is tantric sex only for heterosexuals? can lesbians/gays practise tantric sex? any guidance? i dont wish to buy any books or videos.......
A. 4 July 2009: if u look online u will find useful tips there.
if u dont read then u will never find out how to do it properly.
good luck... (read in full...)
How can we make up and be friends again?
Q. I sent a text to my friend one afternoon to find out if she fancied meeting up that evening if we were both free. She was at work and so I didn't expect a reply, if any til she finished. At the same time, I was at my Mum's boyfriend's place, round ...
A. 4 July 2009: your friend got the text a little too late.
u already had made plans with ur mum and bf, so u couldnt really back down from that.
either way its a small issue to come in the way of friendship, call her back up and suggest u make it up to he... (read in full...)
How can I get my boyfriend to miss me?
Q. I love my boyfriend very much. He also loves me. Actually he is a rude guy but very cute. He is my life and everything. We started our relation in 2007. So its 2 years that we are with each other. At the beginning he used to call me and talk to me ...
A. 4 July 2009: im sorry to say your boyfriend doesnt sound like he loves you at all.
what man who loves a girl would tell her to go away when she calls him? and hangs up?
that suggests he has issues going on.
it looks to me like he doesnt need your love... (read in full...)
Did I break his heart for no reason? I feel like a bad person...
Q. Am I a BAD person ? I know this might look long but pls take the time to read it. I am currently 19yrs old and I got with my ex bf when I was 14yrs we went out for 4 yrs and although we did have problems in our relationships we were kinda okay....
A. 4 July 2009: people may tell you you were wrong to dump ur ex, but only u know what he was like during the relationship, so dont feel bad, u did what was right for you under the circumstances.
if you still have feelings for your ex u shouldnt rush into any... (read in full...)
She wants us to remain friends, I'd like to ask her for sex...but how will she react?
Q. i love her but she want us to remain as best friends, she sleeps in my house and vice-versa, we do a lot of things together, we kiss, but i am afraid to ask her for sex because i don't know how she will react...what do i do? ...
A. 4 July 2009: she says she wants you to be friends, so it doesnt sound like there is anything more to this. you should respect her and leave things as they are. if she wants you in that way she will make it clear. good luck ... (read in full...)
I thought my husband was working in a call centre or factory...but he is a lap dancer in a gay club!
Q. I found out off a long-time family friend (male) of ours, who's a taxi-driver, about my husband's nightshift job. We've been married for 3 months now. I am aware that my husband worked nights, he changed job to a nightshift one a year-and-a-ha...
A. 4 July 2009: its very dishonest of your husband to keep the truth of his job away from you. a good relationship shud be based upon trust but how does he expect u to understand when he lied to you? its very cruel. there must be an element in that job... (read in full...)
Ladies...regarding sex, how much is enough?
Q. Ladies How much sex is enough? Is more always better, time-wise or orgasm-wise, or do you get to a point where you're feeling "enough's enough, I need to get some sleep or I need to go shopping" .... let's assume for the sake of argument, that i...
A. 4 July 2009: every woman is different and all have different sex drives. some women cant get enough sex, some are in the middle, and some hate sex altogether! it depends on the woman, i think a healthy sex life is important, not too much sex, not... (read in full...)
I'm worried incase he thinks I'm only interested in younger guys!
Q. I was divorced 4 years ago. I dated a guy afterwards for almost 3 years. Now, I have been alone for over a year. A man at work has been really nice to me and he is very attractive, but I think I might have given him the idea that I am only ...
A. 4 July 2009: no i dont think a comment like that would put him off you, if u made it clear to him after what u exactly meant. if u havent made it clear to him maybe u shud bring up the conversation again and say exactly what u meant so he doesnt get the w... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose my friend
Q. Hi, this is appu. i m best friend of a girl, since 3 years. she had a bf since 8 years.frm the very last year, she is not giving time to me, earlier we talk on net and on phone regularly , but now since 6 months she looks to change now she talks ...
A. 4 July 2009: i dont think she is ignoring u, if she was ignoring u she wouldnt speak to u at all.
it maybe she is just busy and doesnt have too much free time for you.
u should be honest and tell her u dont want to lose her. if she is not making u too hap... (read in full...)
I just want opinions....I'm in love with my teacher
Q. Ok. Quickly summed up. I am a 14 year old student and I have fallen in Love with a teacher at my school. He doesn't teach me for anything because he teaches Spanish and I do French. Although I go to badminton after school and he does that. ...
A. 4 July 2009: its very normal to have a crush on a teacher and love him , but u know he cant ever give u the same love in return so why admit it to him?
what good will it do?
im guessing he probably knows u love him by now so u dont have to repeat it ove... (read in full...)
I need advice with my period
Q. ok i have not satarted my period yet i am 13 but my chest are almost b cup and they are lopsided big time is this natrual...
A. 4 July 2009: yes this is natural.
some girls dont start their periods til they are 16, so u r very normal!
in time ur breasts will even out dont worry its all the hormones! ... (read in full...)
Ejaculation Confusion?!
Q. i had dry sex with my boyfriend. he Ejaculate on my thong but he also had his boxers on. i am a few days late on my monthly period. am i pregnent?...
A. 4 July 2009: get a pregnancy test and find out. then u can be 100% sure.
... (read in full...)
He loves me dearly now...but he said cheated on me a year ago!
Q. So, ive been with my boyfriend for 5 years. the first few years were amazing, we were so inlove, everything was wonderful sunshine and lollipops. All of a sudden things started going down hill, i was having family problems, and i was feeling quite ...
A. 4 July 2009: first thing is that when u went through a bad time with your family, instead of your bf being there for u he neglected u.
he also cheated during this period and hid it from u. only now telling u the full truth.
he doesnt sound too great to be ... (read in full...)
His new gf doesn't want me around him!
Q. Thanks for all who help here. I just ran into my ex and his new girlfriend at breakfast when I was out for breakfast with my friend. He looked sheepish and she just kept shooting looks that could kill my way. She has always been that way with ...
A. 4 July 2009: some girls get very threatened and jealous by other pretty women around their man.
it sounds like this girl is such a woman.
he also feels uncomfortable because he's stuck in the middle.
ive had this happen to me once years ago (i had a ... (read in full...)
17 and asked to move! How do I get out and onto my own 2 feet?
Q. I hate living with my family and they dislike living with me, because I don't contribute to anything in the house and just sit in my bedroom or go out, I've been wanting to move out for over a year now but only ever played with the idea, my Dad has ...
A. 3 July 2009: you could either rent a flat together with your friend and share bills or move into a roomshare (which means u rent a room in a house share).
you would in most cases need money to put down as a deposit first and how much rent is charged depends ... (read in full...)
How do I show her that I trust her and that I would do anything for her
Q. Hey there my girlfriend has recently finished me after a two year relationship, she says because she is emotionally drained due to me being quiet mean over the past month ( the reason i have been like this is because she started a new job and a guy ...
A. 3 July 2009: the thing is it seems she has chosen this other guy because she has gone on a break with you.
could you even trust her in the future if u guys did get back together?
the best thing u can do to win her back is be honest with her. tell her y... (read in full...)
I want to have sex with my first cousin
Q. i was wondering what other people thought about this. For many years me and my older cousin(female and 17 years) have been REALLY close.we talk each other often about sex,life and that sort of thing.Is stuff like this normal for first cousins? By ...
A. 3 July 2009: well having feelings for a cousin i think is natural for some people around the world. some people even marry their cousins and find the whole thing natural. close friends discuss every aspect of life together so its not unusual for cousins t... (read in full...)
Should I go out with my BF and risk the social awkwardness or say no?
Q. My boyfriend has just invited me out to a "works night out". He has just started working at the place. This is the first time i have been invited to one, normally he doesn't bother asking. I would love to go but i am a bit worried about a couple of ...
A. 2 July 2009: your most welcome for the tip.
feel free to ask me anytime, im the social bee! ha!
... (read in full...)
Am I rushing the relationship too quick?
Q. been with my feller for 5 mths hes been going home cuming bk to see me, we are living apart at the momment wants me to live up north.I have got 2 tennagers im looking after its not fair to leave school has the only got couple more years before they ...
A. 2 July 2009: no dont move any place. your children come first and moving up north will unsettle them.
also he sounds very selfish in making u move. why doesnt he move down to be with you if he cares so much?
5 months is too soon, give it alot more time b... (read in full...)
Bored with the relationship!
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for the last year and we get along fine, but lately I've been getting bored with the relationship. We were away from each over for 2 months and missed each other terribly, and I've been back for three weeks now, and...
A. 2 July 2009: u have tried talking to her, but this is just the way she is. i dont think she can change for you.
for you both to continue u have to accept her the way she is
(which may be a little dull for you)
try giving her another chance and speak to ... (read in full...)
Genital warts..how do I know I don't have the virus?
Q. my boyfriend of 4 months told me he got genital warts and he thinks i gave it to him hes the only guy ive had unpertected sex with and im confused on how i could have gave it to him.... do i have hpv already? but i dont have any warts at all i ...
A. 2 July 2009: the best thing u can do for a peace of mind is go get tested.
sometimes warts dont show up when u have them and sometimes they do.
going to the clinic and getting tested will get this problem sorted out alot quicker and u can see if he's tell... (read in full...)
Should I do unpaid, volunteer work to help my c.v.?
Q. hi i am a first year student, 21 years old and I am now off Uni for the Summer and looking for PART-TIME work i cant seem to find a job in my town. I have applied everywhere but they say although Im well educated I dont have retail experienc...
A. 2 July 2009: yes voluntary work does look good on the CV.
and remember becoz of the current climate jobs are hard to come by so u have to put more effort into getting that job.
once u gain a decent degree u will find a job on par with that.
but til... (read in full...)
Should I make appointments for relaxation for both of us?
Q. Should I make appointments for a day of relaxation for both of us? Or is it too much too soon? Okay, so I've been in a relationship with this great guy (6 months dating). Anyways, we planned a weekend get-away..and I just thought 'Hey, why not bo...
A. 2 July 2009: if your partner is stressed out why dont u massage him yourself? buy some essential oils, and get him to lie on the bed, semi naked, and massage his whole body (from head to feet) and play some relaxing music in the background. its not only wi... (read in full...)
I like him but he just wants to be friends, how can I get him off of my mind?
Q. ok i'm 16. i've like this guy so almost a year now. we almost went out but then decided to just stay friends. i really really like him, but he's not interested in me. anyway i tryed to get over him, but i can't, its just to hard. i can't stop ...
A. 2 July 2009: you have to realise this guy doesnt want to be with you.
at the moment you will feel pain now and unhappiness but as time goes on u will feel better.
its really hard at the moment but u have to focus on other positive things in your life to tak... (read in full...)
Should I go out with my BF and risk the social awkwardness or say no?
Q. My boyfriend has just invited me out to a "works night out". He has just started working at the place. This is the first time i have been invited to one, normally he doesn't bother asking. I would love to go but i am a bit worried about a couple of ...
A. 2 July 2009: Hi there!
firstly dont worry about this all too much.
i can sense your tension & i shall give you useful tips on how to approach british work do's.
firstly your worried about your ID being checked.
well this is normal in most after wor... (read in full...)
Should he have to pay these bills?
Q. My boyfriend moved in with some friends on a 12 month contract not long before we met. After 4 months of living with them, (though he didnt really as this period was over summer break from uni so he was at home) he moved in with me but still paid ...
A. 1 July 2009: ur bf sounds like a good bloke as he paid his dues.
however he shouldnt let people walk all over him!!
if u cant afford to pay write them a polite email detailing what u have said here (that u kept up the payments despite them using his bedroo... (read in full...)
How common is a promiscuous phase in women?
Q. is it common for a woman to go through a brief phase of promiscuity? is four different men in six months a lot if her total of different partners is six or is this type of phase common in a woman's sexual development? ...
A. 1 July 2009: some women are very promiscouos.
these days it occurs more & more.
ive heard of some who sleep with a different guy every week!
... (read in full...)
Pain in strange places after sex...
Q. Hey, every time I have really passionate, hard sex with my boyfriend I get terrible pains afterwards, just below my ribs. We dont use a condom because I'm on the pill and he's safe so he finishes inside me. I'm 5ft and weigh 6 stone, if that h...
A. 1 July 2009: pain after sex is normal and should subside after a few minutes.
if your getting really worried u shud go to the doctor and see what is really causing the pain to be more prolonged ?
sometimes infections can cause pain.
only the doctor can ... (read in full...)
How can I hint to him to buy me some flowers?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months now and he hasn't brought me any presents or anything. For valentines day I sent him a card as we are in a long distance relationship and he didn't know what he wanted. I thought he would have brought me a ...
A. 1 July 2009: your bf doesnt sound nice.... !! he hasnt brought u anything? not even a valentines card???
no no no, this is not good, ditch him!
normally when someone likes u they buy u something or give u something ... to make u happy.
nooooo dont beg... (read in full...)
She loves me but is not sexually attracted to me - what does she mean by this?
Q. I dated this girl for 2 years in college but towards the end of our relationship we started fighting a lot and kinda fell out of love. We broke up in feb 2009 and continued to remain friends. In May we started hanging out a lot and started acting ...
A. 1 July 2009: yes its possible for us girls to love guys and not feel sexually attracted to them.
it suggest she now see's u more as a BROTHER rather than a bf.
in this case there doesnt seem much in redeeming this relationship. if u want her back try rev... (read in full...)
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