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... Send *tarlights a private message | | | *tarlights's profile:What qualifies me to help people? I say its because i've met people from all walks of life, i've heard all the stories, ive even lived some incredible AND heart wrenching stories myself and I am not type to judge others.
In my spare time I enjoy reading, socializing and writing.
Remember no problem is too big that it cant be solved.
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| Latest articles: The Art of Being Happy!
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: The Art of Being Happy The key we have been given in this life which sets us apart from any creature living on this planet, is that as humans, we have free will to do good or bad. To ourselves or to others. Simply We have a choice. W...
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Hungarian girl wanted me to 'sign documents' for her, I said no and she hasn't spoken to me since!
Q. I went for a drink with a Hungarian girl a couple of weeks ago, we went out, had a good time, I walked her back to her flat. We chat on Facebook Chat, everything was going well, until yesterday, when I got a Chat message asking if I could sign doc...
A. 30 April 2012: She see's you as a vulnerable target, so be careful.... (read in full...)
Getting married but all I can do is think of my ex
Q. Hi, thanks for reading this. I am a mother of 1 in my 30's Getting married next year but all I can think about is my ex!! We were together 10 years ago for 8 years and haven't seen each other much since! Our parents are friends and we have a fe...
A. 28 April 2012: Tell your ex how you feel... dont marry somebody just for the sake of it.... (read in full...)
I cant get this out of my mind, please help!
Q. Hello all. I am in a bit of a situation here. I used to date a guy online few years ago and it just ended. And few months ago he added me on facebook. We talked,exchanged numbers,texted and flirted all the time. Then one day he started talking dirty ...
A. 26 April 2012: Your not stupid.
You trusted this guy to be upfront with you , it was him who was stupid keeping the info about his girlfriend to himself. He sounds like an idiot for treating his girlfriend so crappy -and your better off without him -
You nev... (read in full...)
He told his ex he loves her then denied it with me!
Q. I just saw emails that my boyfriend sent his ex 2 weeks ago, that say how he misses and loves her. There was mention that he had a girlfriend but yet he stated he love her......why? Also he lied to Me by telling me he never bought her an engageme...
A. 26 April 2012: Your boyfriend cant be trusted.
If he loved you he wouldnt be sending messages to his ex denying you even exist.
Dont marry him -big mistake!
Goodluck... (read in full...)
I am ashamed of who I am... help please!
Q. Please don’t Judge me or anything I did not come here for that I came for help and for someone to help me open my eyes and see that the world is negative place and not everybody is bad. After all no one has control over their feelings. I don’t k...
A. 26 April 2012: Its ok that you dont find men of your own race attractive, all of us have our own preferences and tastes so dont feel strange thinking that.
We all find different things attractive, what some may deem as attractive others will be put off by, go w... (read in full...)
Why hasn't he asked me to be his girlfriend yet?
Q. i have been dating a great guy for 2 months now and we agreed to only see each other, but he has never asked me to be his girlfriend. could this be because he thinks it is still too soon? or maybe he isnt over his ex, who he broke up with at ...
A. 26 April 2012: I think it could be too soon for him as he only broke up with his girlfriend on xmas.
You could try the direct approach if he doesnt click on to him and you being bf and gf or you can move on as he may not be interested in you that way.
You nee... (read in full...)
Leaving my best friend and my gamer life behind.....
Q. Ok here's the thing. I know this isn't your typical relationship question that you guys get but it's a serious one to me. I'm what most people would consider a 'Hardcore Gamer'. I use to be the guy playing video games for 20 hours a day. Video games ...
A. 26 April 2012: In life , part of our evolution is about change.
Some people are happy to go through their whole life remaining the same whilst others change for the better like you have.
Gaming 20 hours a day is not normal and is anti social.
Its ... (read in full...)
Should I give it a go with him? Or let it go? I'm worried we are too different and he would hurt me
Q. im 20 years old, but never been kissed and never had a bf. Sometimes i feel im weird, coz i always try to make myself stay away from the guys i like. And refuse them when they ask me out! just few weeks ago i met a cute guy in club who asked m...
A. 26 April 2012: I'd let go of it;
you already know how he behaves daily,
so follow your gut instincts :)... (read in full...)
Are some people not meant to find love
Q. Are some people not meant to find love, or do they find some way to pigeonhole themselves into a spot where it's really unlikely they'll find someone? Just venting some stuff out, skip if you're not a fan of walls of text. To get down...
A. 26 April 2012: So glad you got that out of your system. :)
You have a great sense of humour, thats a benefit and asset for that future girlfriend you will have :)
Love usually finds us when we are not seeking of it, im a great advocate of, "love yourself b... (read in full...)
Hungarian girl wanted me to 'sign documents' for her, I said no and she hasn't spoken to me since!
Q. I went for a drink with a Hungarian girl a couple of weeks ago, we went out, had a good time, I walked her back to her flat. We chat on Facebook Chat, everything was going well, until yesterday, when I got a Chat message asking if I could sign doc...
A. 26 April 2012: Still be careful ;)
... (read in full...)
Why are French men attracted to me?
Q. Why is it that french guys always seem to be attracted to me, i'm not meaning to sound shallow. But every french guy I meet always ends up flirting with me, telling me how beautiful I am, asking for my number, to go out and such. Of course I don't ...
A. 25 April 2012: I say enjoy it!
You could be considered a "hottie" where they are from, thats why :)... (read in full...)
Does this marriage make sense?
Q. Hello to all the lovely Cupids out there! So, here is my situation: I'm getting married in October to a guy I love deeply. He lives abroad (2hr plane ride) and neither of us can move for different reasons (don't want to bother you with details,...
A. 25 April 2012: If you and your partner can commit to seeing each other for 6 months only, then why not?
only you both know what it is you can handle.
It will be a failure if you dont end up meeting or grow apart during that time.
... (read in full...)
I know its over between us, I just cant comprehend that it happened in such a rude and immature way!
Q. I met a very nice and funny guy in a dating site. He's not handsome, but he seemed as a very good person, we talked a lot, almost every day. We live in different countries and he said he will come to my country to meet me, we arranged the date and ...
A. 24 April 2012: Yes this man is a liar and is not to be trusted in the future.
He was very rude and immature with his behavior.
Its impossible trying to understand people like him because they have their own issues; its not your problem or fault if he cann... (read in full...)
Hungarian girl wanted me to 'sign documents' for her, I said no and she hasn't spoken to me since!
Q. I went for a drink with a Hungarian girl a couple of weeks ago, we went out, had a good time, I walked her back to her flat. We chat on Facebook Chat, everything was going well, until yesterday, when I got a Chat message asking if I could sign doc...
A. 24 April 2012: Yes signing documents that you have no clue to what they are does sound really odd.
Be careful, and it could be she is going to use you for sex so you sign the papers.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend likes to spend more time with his friends than me!
Q. Dear cupid My bf of 2 years likes spending time with his friends rather than with me. He is always coming up with thing or another not to spend much time with me. I know for sure that he is not cheating, but he is always hanging out with his f...
A. 23 April 2012: Your not over reacting.
It sounds as if he isnt that interested in you, otherwise if he cared he would make more time to be with you.
Your both incompatible because he hasnt respected your feelings.
You deserve much better, do you really wa... (read in full...)
Is he really interested in me? Or am I just another conquest? And inexperienced too
Q. i've been seeing someone who is way more experienced than me sexually and most of his past girls have been very experienced and are into casual sex. it makes me feel like i'm just another conquest and i am curious if he is interested in me just beca...
A. 23 April 2012: Have you tried talking to him about how you feel?
He could provide you with that answer you seek.
I think guys are all different and we cannot just label or narrow them down into a category.
Some guys like well behaved girls others prefer th... (read in full...)
How do I get over this worry? I keep thinking he cheated on me with those girls
Q. Hello I wonder If anyone has been in my situation or could give me some advice what to do? I have been with my boyfriend for about 7 months now and at the start of our relationship he was out all the time and once he stayed at a girls house ...
A. 23 April 2012: Trust is the basis of a healthy relationship.
Your insecurities are nothing to do with your boyfriend.
He assured you he did not cheat, therefore you can only trust him and take his word for it.
Beating yourself up over niggling doubts tha... (read in full...)
Partner says our relationship is too perfect so he'll start arguments with me!
Q. Hi there me and my partner don't always argue but when we do its not really a necessary argument..like we will be taking one moment then he will just start arguing about the most stupidest stuff ever and it sucks and then he doesn't talk to me for ...
A. 22 April 2012: Sounds as if your boyfriend is used to drama and fights in relationships , and he probably does it to keep things a little bit more exciting with you.
Arguing is a waste of time though.
It makes no sense for him to argue with you other than h... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't enjoy sex, and I feel myself wanting other girls?
Q. Hello there, I have a big problem. I have been married for almost 5 years already and I find myself so nice to my wife. I work far away from my family im a sailor and I only get to see my family 2 to 3 months and of course once I am home I want to ...
A. 22 April 2012: Tell how how you feel.
Communicate with her.
Tell her how much you want intimacy and how it forces you to feel disapointed when she doesnt show her love for you this way.
There must be a good reason why your wife is rejecting your advances.... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to finger me without me having to ask!
Q. I'm just wondering how to get my boyfriend to finger me before sex without me flat out saying it, like any sexy ways. Thanks!...
A. 22 April 2012: Guide his finger there, that way your not saying it aloud.
More like guiding.... (read in full...)
Can we really live happily ever after when we are so different?
Q. I am wondering can two people who are so different stay together and get things working? Me and my boyfriend have been together for 8 years. We are from different upbringing (his parents happily married for 30 years, mine fought for 20 years an...
A. 20 April 2012: You both need to seek marriage counsilling to get to the root of the problem and have it discussed and resolved because arguing does not help you guys progress.
Unfortunately as people stop listening to each other, a marriage can fade.
Incomp... (read in full...)
He's stopped going down on me! What can I do?
Q. Hey there! I've been with my fiancé for a year now and we will get married in the Fall. I love him deeply and so does he. One little thing is bothering me though... at the beginning of our relationship he went down on me a lot and then he stopped. ...
A. 20 April 2012: Good sex is about pleasuring one another.
Tell him you wont go down on him and see how he feels.
... (read in full...)
Can you please help me understand this insecure man?
Q. I've been with this guy 4 years and have had a child together, who's almost 3. At first he always accused me of cheating then it went away for years. Last Saturday I went to work at a fundraiser for my daughter's school to build a new play...
A. 19 April 2012: This man doesnt trust you so you will never be happy in this situation.
He has a low self esteem and issues on trusting you.
Try speaking to him and tell him how much his actions are hurting you.
If he truly loves you he will listen and r... (read in full...)
What needs to change? I can't get over my negative feelings towards attractive people.
Q. I'm in my late-twenties and have always been considered unattractive... "cute" is the very best I can get. I never get hit on, or flirted with, and guys I date tell me they liked me DESPITE my looks, that my personality makes up for the fact that ...
A. 19 April 2012: The whole issue rests on this, its the way your percieving the world.
Your perceiving and thinking other females are better looking than you, and comparing yourself.
Other Men can feel your energy. They feel your low self esteem so they a... (read in full...)
My wife says that I need to chose either her or my family!
Q. My wife and I have been married for 6 years. She has 3 children from a previous marriage. I love them dearly. My wife thinks that my family hasnt shown them love. I will say my mom has told the kids that she would do things with them and it has ...
A. 18 April 2012: Your wife has no rights to make you choose between your family and her. Thats utterly selfish to even make you.
Its clear your family have helped you out when you had troubled times and even accepted your wife.
Its a hard situation but stay cal... (read in full...)
After years of little contact my father is giving gifts. I'm unsure how to react/feel about this
Q. My father and i havent spoken properly for years we occasionally pase in the street if he is in the area and say hello and only keep in touch by letter. This is because he was an alcoholic and was physically abusive towards me and my mum throughout ...
A. 18 April 2012: I know how you feel. My father walked out and left my mum too, and then suddenly turns up with gifts.
It sounds as if this father of yours is feeling guilty and trying to make things up to you.
Even though he drank and abused you and mum it s... (read in full...)
Why can't she believe me? I'm faithful. How do I win her back?
Q. My girlfriend has some big issues trusting me. Every time she is not in town and we can't meet we always fight about how i do something bad. Last time she left for 3 days. Now we are broken up because of this 3 days. I was out with 2 of my best fri...
A. 18 April 2012: Trust is the basis of any good relationship.
If she cant trust you there is not much you can do; because whatever you do will be held in suspicion and never good enough.
If you truly still want her back, communicate with her.
You can tell her ... (read in full...)
I want to let him know I'm interested. But not scare him off. Any tips please on how to do this?
Q. I've been out of the dating game for a while, but I may be willing to re-enter it. I'm getting really confused by the signals a guy I'm kind of interested in is sending, though. On the positive side, he just ended up buying a webcam purely on a ...
A. 18 April 2012: Just be friends, take it easy, be fun and flirty. Thats all you can do for now is be yourself and enjoy his company, because you cant push him along. His self esteem is his issue.
Goodluck!... (read in full...)
Is there a place in her heart for me? I love her but I think she wants to go back to her abusive guy.
Q. Ok, so i'm bisexual people. Yesterday i realized that i was in love with her, after she found out that her boyfriend had been cheating on her. Now i've met her online, but i feel a connection like no other when i talk to her. I was scared for h...
A. 18 April 2012: Keep this in perspective, she's going through a hard time with her bf and its ultimately her call what she wishes to do.
She may not want another relationship. She may want him. You cant know until she lets you in on her feelings for you.
The... (read in full...)
Did he over-react? Was he trying to guilt-trip me? He's 28
Q. I met this fella January this year, we went on a few dates, got "officially" together mid February time. Now, at times, he would become irritated if I would spend time with my brother and friends rather than with him, despite the fact that I saw him ...
A. 18 April 2012: He's manipulating this whole situation and making you suffer by seeing him in a state then blaming you for his actions.
Thats unfair.
He has over reacted.
Sure, he could have been in love with you, and his feelings have been hurt and he cant... (read in full...)
How do I liven things up between us? Despite him rejecting my advances regularly?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly two years. We were always very passionate and affectionate. A couple months ago, he began to act less and less, however. I realize that this can happen as a relationship progresses, but physical affection and ...
A. 18 April 2012: It could be a variety of factors such as
either being very stressed with alot going on his mind, depressed, anxious.
You may have communicated your needs but sounds as if he wasn't listening as things havent changed.
Ask him to tell you what... (read in full...)
He's ignoring me because he doesn't see any future for our relationship
Q. hello.i m a grl of 18.i met a guy on fb.he is of24.i m an indian nd he is pakistani.we were initially good frnds.we chat daily on fb for hours nd hours.after somedays i came to know dat i love him nd cant live widout him.i was on his ...
A. 7 April 2012: The guy has made his feelings clear; he is not interested so there is no point trying to force the issue on him to recontinue this relationship.
It will hurt alot not being with him.
So you need to be with people who support you and your fee... (read in full...)
Does he love me or is he playing games?
Q. I'm 18yrs old.help me please. i met him on facebook and i just met him once physically. he tells me he loves me and i think i'm starting falling? but the problem is we lack cummunicating. he says his mobile has some problem and this real hurts ...
A. 6 April 2012: If his mobile has a problem then it is not his fault.
I think you need to go out on a few dates with this guy and get to know him very well as a friend before you can judge if he loves you.
Goodluck!... (read in full...)
I am tired of all my friends, whats wrong with me?
Q. Lately I have been feeling like I just want to end all my friendships, I feel annoyed by all of them, and I know that sounds crazy but I feel I'm almost so consumed by my family that I would rather just go without having friends. One friend acts ...
A. 6 April 2012: It sounds like your evolving and changing as a person and what once interested you in your friends no longer holds interests.
There is nothing wrong with you. You just expect different things out of friendship than your friends do.
Its goo... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity this way?
Q. I went out with this guy 3 years ago, the relationship ended pretty badly, but we perservered and stayed friends over the years, despite him going out with my best friend and the rest of my friends pretty much hating him. I'm don't have any real fee...
A. 6 April 2012: If you dont have any real feelings for this guy, dont sleep with him.
Sex is always special with someone you love and much better with someone you love!
Goodluck.... (read in full...)
Do men like when their girlfriend calls and texts them first?
Q. My questions is, do men like when their girlfriend calls and texts frequently? I usually wait for my boyfriend to send me the first text of the day, and I usually don't call- I let him call me because I don't want to seem overly clingy or like I'm ...
A. 3 April 2012: Every guy is different, some men see frequent texts as clingy others as a sign of interest only.
I think its best to keep it in balance.
Sometimes take the initiative and text him too first so he doesnt feel the oddball
goodluck :)... (read in full...)
My ex asked me to cheat on my boyfriend with him, I refused and told my boyfriend what my ex had said, and now he thinks I've already cheated on him!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together two months. Everything was going great until my ex got incontact through email and was asking me to cheat on my bf with him. i of course said no and told my bf everything that was said thinking i was being ...
A. 1 April 2012: Your boyfriends old insecurities have come up. What happened between you both, reminded him of what happened with his past.
The best thing to do, is be supportive, and explain to him you never cheated , you never would, and how honesty is always t... (read in full...)
We got into my argument over my husband's drinking and he hit me!
Q. My husband and I got into am arguement over him drinking and coming home smelling like alcohol, so the other night he informed me that he was drinking a beer while driving home, that did not sit well with me, all I ask os that he not come home ...
A. 1 April 2012: If he has hit you, chances are he WILL do it again.
LEAVE.
Let him get help for his drinking and his behavior issues.
This is something only he can do for himself.
If you love him, choose to go back if he shows that he is sincerely sorry... (read in full...)
Love him, but can't acccept his lifestyle choices.
Q. Hello.. Thank you for taking the time to help me. I love a man I have been with for 2 yrs. We have an amazing time together. But.... I cant agree to his choices of illegal activity and trying to make it by selling drugs?...
A. 1 April 2012:
I agree that illegal activity has its risks but unless he chooses to change career, you both will always have this struggle.
Try speaking to him about your fears. See if he wishes to make better choices/ changes.
Because you cant accept his ... (read in full...)
Time spent on the computer is interfering with my schooling
Q. I am 17 years old,, n I am grade 11 student. I want to be Computer Engineer.., I usually spent my time on computer.., incase of this I am not doing good at my education.. n my dad is sad of me.. n wants me to concentrate only on my education...
A. 1 April 2012: If time spent on the computer is interfering with your education and effecting your grades then it is a good idea to balance out the time you spend with the computer to the time you spend on homework.
I guess your father just wants the best for... (read in full...)
Is opening up realistically a bad move to do in a troubled relationship?
Q. Alright, so i am gay but i doubt this matters since my question should apply for any relationship. I've had a lot of experiences of breaking up and i've found that it almost always start from when i'm opening up to the one i love. Either because h...
A. 31 March 2012: Your partner is probably a little afraid on what to do next.
The best thing you both can do, is admit this feeling of "being distant" and resolve to openly communicate and resolve this.
You can resolve it by doing something/hobby ... (read in full...)
Do men like to be chased first?
Q. Do men liked to be chased? When they're not calling and texting you is it because they do want to or they waiting for you to do it?...
A. 29 March 2012: It could be a variety of factors.
If you like someone i say go for it and text the man first, there is nothing wrong with taking control although most of the time men do enjoy the chase.
Things have changed so much with etiquette on who... (read in full...)
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