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... Send *tarlights a private message | | | *tarlights's profile:What qualifies me to help people? I say its because i've met people from all walks of life, i've heard all the stories, ive even lived some incredible AND heart wrenching stories myself and I am not type to judge others.
In my spare time I enjoy reading, socializing and writing.
Remember no problem is too big that it cant be solved.
Be happy AND remember
there is a solution for everything!
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| Latest articles: The Art of Being Happy!
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: The Art of Being Happy The key we have been given in this life which sets us apart from any creature living on this planet, is that as humans, we have free will to do good or bad. To ourselves or to others. Simply We have a choice. W...
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Why did he run back to his Ex?
Q. Me and my boyfriend of two years split up during our relationship his ex caused problems and strained our relationship because of it. We split up over a month ago and we've both carried on with life like we should of, moving on is expected and ...
A. 30 August 2012: He ran back to his ex because its a form of habit for him.
This is what his ex wanted (him back) and he fell for it.
Qhatever broke them up in the first place probably will re surface...
dont worry about it, he's shown his true nature so m... (read in full...)
Should I text him? please help
Q. I was chatting with a customer at work, and he asked for my number, kind of jokingly. I said no. When he came back a little later we chatted some more. When I handed him his receipt, he asked where my number was. As there were customers behind ...
A. 30 August 2012: If you like him and your interested
text him :)
... (read in full...)
Would you accept the money or would I be taking advantage of my position as a soon-to-be-wife?
Q. Hey everyone :) My mother passed away a few months ago leaving me a tiny apartment. The law in my country is such that I need to pay a heck of a lot of money in taxes in order to get hold of that apartment and a very high yearly tax in order to...
A. 27 August 2012: If you took your fiance's money you are not taking advantage of him.
He offers it to you lovingly.
Take it with love, or dont take it with love.
Its your blessing and your choice :)
Goodluck.... (read in full...)
Why do they do it? What's with this button pushing by guys? Its annoying
Q. My boyfriend is really awesome and we have a really close relationship we're even going away next weekend to skydive and stay out of town. (super excited!) But lately he's been purposely trying to push my buttons. At first when he did it it wasn't v...
A. 27 August 2012: I think your boyfriend does it because his father does it, so he's led my example. Maybe its his way of showing affection, i know some guys are passive aggresive and think thats a way of showing their love (when it isnt).
You have 2 options;... (read in full...)
How do I avoid becoming pregnant by my husband who won't allow me to use birth control?
Q. My husband of 6 years won't pull out during sex. We are catholic so he refuses for me to use any birth control. I do not want to get pregnant. Please give me advice...
A. 26 August 2012: you can go see the doctor there is an injection you can take, however not all methods of contreceptive are 100%
my friend got pregnant twice using the preventative methods.... (read in full...)
Cheating b/f gave me genital herpes, is there anything natural I can take?
Q. Hi I really need some advice as I am in bits and don't know what to do I recently caught my boyfriend of nearly 2 years cheating on me so I went to a gum clinic to get myself tested for any stis and I found out I have genital herpes I feel so ...
A. 26 August 2012: you need to get to the STD clinic and see if you have anything else, and they will treat you for the herpes there.... (read in full...)
Will he grow to love our child?
Q. Dear Cupid I am separated from my husband for a year. Had an affair meanwhile and now I'm pregnant. My bf doesnt want anything to do with me or my pregnancy now. Will he ever love my child if I go on with my pregnancy, I don't want my child to be de...
A. 26 August 2012: You need to be prepared for risks, my mother never cheated on my father yet he never loved or accepted me in his life...
so u have to be prepared for the worst.
God is not going to punish you, god knows what your going through and does not see... (read in full...)
I uprooted my life for my ex-girlfriend, and have lost it all. Now what?
Q. Several years ago, I moved from a different city and state to be with my girlfriend, who I was dating long distance at the time. We met one weekend while I was visiting my hometown, and hit it off very well. After a year of long distance dating, I ...
A. 23 August 2012: Dont feel bad at yourself because your having a rough time. ALOT OF successful people have a rough patch and get through it before they make their success again.
If they can do it, so can you.
Know that the situation wont last forever and its ... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of my friend.
Q. hey so i have a friend (for 9 years) she is cool pretty an djust plain lovely but i hate her guts and dont even know why im so jelious of her she has never been a threat she always does what i do after i do and better at it than my so i have done ...
A. 23 August 2012: You hate her guts but you say she is your friend?
why do you hate her so much? does she make you feel inferior in anyway?
jealousy is normal to feel but it is not realistic, truth is your friend is no better than you are, thats just your percep... (read in full...)
If I can't orgasm while masturbating and thinking about my boyfriend, does it mean I'm not attracted to him?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend, Henry, for three years, loved him for seven. He's currently away in Washington visiting his relatives for the summer. He won't be back until September 9th. I love Henry and I've always been attracted to him. My frien...
A. 22 August 2012: I think your still attracted to him, but if you have other things on your mind it can affect the whole process.
Dont worry so much about it, its natural :)... (read in full...)
I used to be confident, happy and more sociable but now all I want to do is avoid being around people as much as possible.
Q. 2 years ago I persuaded my boyfriend to move to my town so that we could live together and be together, knowing full well that things weren't going very well but thought it woud bring us together. It didn't work and I found out that he was quite ...
A. 22 August 2012: Your going through a tough time, and i can understand that.
Its perfectly understandable if you dont want to be around people so much (i too prefer peace and quiet) as opposed to always being with people, so I can relate.
There is no h... (read in full...)
How do you deal with pubic hair growing back?
Q. For people who have sex regularly, how do you deal with the growing back of shaved pubic hair? It loses the smoothness after only 1-2 days, so doesn't it get uncomfortable for your partner with the stubble? Shaving the stubble creates hell for me. ...
A. 21 August 2012: yes it can be torture, i have to do mine every 2 days too, but if you use creams (a tiny little) it does work... and warm water on the area... dabbing a little heated water there also prevents growback (i have found)... (read in full...)
Is he falling in love with me?
Q. Hi Aunts, I am seeing a wonderful man who treats me very well. and i love him dearly. However he has never said he loves me,yet he will tell me he misses me everyday where not together.last Sunday he asked me to go to a function with him and i d...
A. 21 August 2012: yes sounds like he is falling in love, and he will tell you he loves you when he is ready :)
... (read in full...)
I started dating a gorgeous, model-like, ambitious, cheeky guy, and he's now turned into an overweight, boozy, attention seeking boy!
Q. This is really tricky and I'd appreciate both male and female help with this. I've been with my lovely boyfriend who I care deeply for for two and a half years. When I met him he had model looks, a great body and I couldn't keep my hands off him....
A. 21 August 2012: It sounds like his priorities have changed during the course of your relationship together.
He might be eating alot etc because of deep down emotional issues you are not aware about.
He needs support through this,
1. accept him for how... (read in full...)
Why wont he ask me out? Advice please.
Q. so i have alot going on. i am 18 years old. when i was 16 i had a son. his father got into drugs and alcohol. we broke up a year ago. i am finally ready to date. there is this guy i met named "chad". he is 26 and has 2 children. it is obvious that ...
A. 20 August 2012: Maybe he is shy and unsure if you feel the same way? he made it clear he be lucky to have you, so it shows he does like you.... (read in full...)
Should I take him back after this fight?
Q. After he proposed to me last Christmas( We've in distance relationship for 2 years)I moved and transferred college from California to a small town in Ohio to be with him. We got an apartment together( the lease was on his name) I got so excited for ...
A. 20 August 2012: No dont get back together with him.
I know you love him but love is when someone is good to you back too.
He cant be trusted (he sent texts to those other girls) and he threatened you with many things. He has hurt you way beyond necessary... (read in full...)
I don't understand why is he acting this way?
Q. I met what seemed to be a really genuine guy on an online dating site. We spoke everyday for a week and arranged to meet. We had a fabulous first date and both agreed we clicked. We met up the next day and he came to my home and spent the night ...
A. 20 August 2012: If he dumped you the following night following sex, he has made his intentions clear.
You will only hurt yourself in the long run if you text him and continue.
Its best to respect his decision , however hard it is, and move on.
... (read in full...)
Met a girl, we got naked, though no condom. Then I stopped the sex. But could I have caught a STD or made her pregnant?
Q. Hi there, I hope someone can help me. A couple of weeks ago I met this girl in a bar and we were both really drunk. We ended up going back to her flat and started ripping each others clothes off. We got naked, although I think I left my underwea...
A. 19 August 2012: Get your self tested.
There are some STD's which can be caught just by kissing.
... (read in full...)
Is this normal? To be told from your mother that they don't love you?
Q. I would like some opinions from parents:- Would you ever tell your child that you didn't love them? And be completely serious about it? and when I say child I mean a young child. I, myself am a mum and could never imagine in a million years ...
A. 18 August 2012: I can totally relate; my mother shows no love to me at all & has said just as awful things to me.
Personally its probably because you remind your mum of something, which she's trying hard not to face upto.
Its her problem not yours;
i cut c... (read in full...)
We agreed to meet one last time at the airport, but she stood me up
Q. So this question is probably not gonna have an accurate answer but I would like to have some possibilities. So me and this girl been talking for a little over a month and we went out for 2 weeks because she was going to leave for a trip to Europe...
A. 18 August 2012: You can never really know people sometimes.
Sometimes they say they are your friend and can act / play up.
It was not nice of the girl to act up on you like that, and its less likely you will get answers.
Its best to realise this just sh... (read in full...)
Should we try or give up?
Q. So me and my boyfriend are both in highschool and were a pretty good couple, always have fun together, we communicate well and have never fought I do love him very much. but there is a little bit of a age difference , one year, which means he's ...
A. 18 August 2012: I think you want to stay with him.
Stay with him then and stick with it. Of course it will be hard but love is about overcoming challenges together.
Goodluck!!... (read in full...)
Need your input, please?. Why am I so afraid to talk to people? It's affecting me at work.
Q. Hi guys....I remember duing my teens i had quite a personality....but as the years progressed that kinda changed. I went through a difficult phase as i approached my twenties.I lost my father and my family and i went through financial difficul...
A. 17 August 2012: It can be linked to anxiety and low self confidence.
Here is a good indepth article on how you can help yourself :)
http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2009/02/20/how-to-build-self-confidence/... (read in full...)
Is it true,if two people are meant to be together, that they'll find their way? we broke up, but I still love her.
Q. I used to date this girl, me and her was together for a long time. It was a long distance relationship but we made it work all the way until we drifted and broke up. We was off and on with talking. I told her i'll wait for her, and we told each...
A. 17 August 2012: Yes if your meant to be together it will happen.
Unfortunately breakups are way too common and dreams dont pan out. Dont lose hope. Im sure you'll attract someone just as nice some day.
... (read in full...)
My brother-in-law is hitting on me!
Q. my brother-in-law is hitting on me! ok,So i've been with my Husband a total of 6 years, well I've always been kind of shy around his whole family. But I still have conversations with them here and then. But I've noticed since I first came into my ...
A. 16 August 2012: I would advise to just directly tell him
you've noticed his behaviors and to stop it,
it makes you uncomfortable.
That way he will get the message and feel embarrased.
... (read in full...)
I am a separated woman trying to date. After you've read it all do you think I should see a therapist?
Q. Apologies! This situation description isnt as short as I'd hoped it would be. Click back if you dont want to read a long story. I want responses, but if I dont get any because my post is too long, at least I'll have cyber-vented! My husband an...
A. 16 August 2012: yes let it be ;)... (read in full...)
Do you see any possibility for us to have a future together?
Q. I met this guy through a friend in my group since 4 months ago while I was still with my last long distance relationship boyfriend who broke up with me 2 months ago. And right after the break up, this guy started to initial contact with me and get ...
A. 16 August 2012: There is not much you can do to make him overcome his own fears.
He has made his feelings clear and personally i think its best to see this as a friendship with him and not more .
Goodluck ... (read in full...)
I don't know if this is workplace bullying :( what can I do?
Q. First off thanks for reading, i know it's quite long but today this has really gotten to me and i don't know what to think, hence why i am turning to you lovely people :) I have been working for a small but successful company for the past 4 years...
A. 16 August 2012: This manager obviously is jealous and its best you get out of this situation by making moves to find yourself a new job.
Its unfair but i know how unrealistic work places can be, is there not a senior manager above him you can ask to meet ?
If yo... (read in full...)
I thought it was a love marriage but my husband treats me badly and sometimes acts like an animal
Q. I am 24 year, 1-1.5 year married girl with no child yet. It was a love mariage after 8 years relationship. My husband abuses and black mails me, he even call to my mother and tell her our before marige secrets. Sometime he behaves awsem and sometime ...
A. 14 August 2012: Its a difficult situation for you, living with a man whose a bully.
It may be wise to ask him not to tell your mother your secrets, as she doesnt have to know.
i understand divorcing him is hard over there; but what other choice can you other th... (read in full...)
After many difficulties we broke up. Would I be right in suspecting he had this girl waiting in the wings all along?
Q. hi readers. so my boyfriend of three years and i have split up again. we went through this circle of breaking up and getting back. he was a bit too possessive over my internet life and would not stop spying on me blah blah blah. now he has met s...
A. 14 August 2012: Its hard to say if he had this other girl, but its irrelevant now because you two have broken up, he's moved on.
Thats a BIG SIGN for you, that you should too.
If he used to spy on you , trust me you dont want a boyfriend like that: count your l... (read in full...)
I'm seriously falling for my boyfriend and show him tons of affection but I don't feel I'm getting any back.
Q. I'm so confused and upset I would really love to hear others point of view I meet my boyfriend online 8 months ago and things are generally good I'm still yet to hear that he loved me. I fing his behaviour very confusing so to make it easier I...
A. 14 August 2012: If he's forgetting to keep contact it obviously shows he has alot going on his mind right now.
Also your long distance so it doesnt help the situation, have a meetup with him and talk this out , if you still feel after that he really doesnt care... (read in full...)
She got an STD and was lying, how do we move on from this?
Q. Alright so I met the perfect girl about two years ago who ended up being my first love and first serious relationship. She became my girlfriend, my best friend, my EVERYTHING! Then almost a year into the relationship I was going through so stuff ...
A. 11 August 2012: The main thing you can do is accept the past happened; its the past; and forgive what happened.
Its not easy to forgive; but the moment you do you will feel a sense of freedom and the sleepless nights will stop.
When you find yourself falling... (read in full...)
I have a controlling boyfriend!
Q. I had a major blow out with my bf last night he said my mother was a b**** I thought that it was out of line my mother doesn't approve of our relationship but she has never involved herself in any fight or anything!His mother passed recently and I ...
A. 11 August 2012: He cannot have the right to control your happiness...
my advice is get out of this relationship before he brings you down with his own sense of self destruction.
He has no right to call your mum names or stop you seeing her.
Leave be... (read in full...)
How can I stop my ex asking me for money?
Q. hi. my ex girlfriend keeps asking me for money for fags and food because i live at home and have no bills to pay and she has her own place with bills and rent but isnt working, she on benefits. she is an ex who i have never lived with and wasnt ...
A. 11 August 2012: Sounds like she's using you.
Like you say you dont owe her anything so cut the contact; or change your number.
... (read in full...)
I'm happy with my new guy but why does my ex friend with benefits still have a hold on me?
Q. Ok,had a fwb for a while,pulled out when i got feelings,went no contact,met a new man months after,started dating and now in relationship. Thing is i feel like i am settling for 2nd best.Seen my ex fwb around and when out a few times he always ...
A. 7 August 2012: He doesnt have a hold of you;
he just appears more attractive because he's more your kind of guy from the beginning.
Focus on your new relationship with your new man and enjoy the friendship with your friend and not worry about it.
Goodl... (read in full...)
How can I get him to stop the horrible comments and accusations of me cheating on him?
Q. My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years keeps accusing me of cheating. I have never had a sexual relationship outside of our relationship. He is always saying that sometimes I am significantly tighter than others. I tell him that its because I am tightening my ...
A. 7 August 2012: He has self issues, is insecure, jealous and distrustful of you... trust is basis for a healthy relationship , maybe you should suggest he goes to have counsilling to work on these issues because its ruining your relationship.
Goodluck.
... (read in full...)
He constantly stares at me!
Q. This guy in my biology class is constantly staring at me, I'm not trying to be cocky but it's obvious he likes me. Honestly, it's annoying me, all he does is stare at me all day. He seriously does not have any friends, is quite odd from my ...
A. 6 August 2012: He has a crush on you obviously and if its freaking you out; (and u feel uncomfortable to talk to him), why dont you ask a friend/ or close brother to tell him that his stares are making you feel horrible and to stop it?
i dont believe this guy... (read in full...)
I want to leave him and don't know how!
Q. i am in a relationship wit a guy since 2 yrs..he proposed me first., in the beginning i used to love him a lot. I still don't know whether he was serious in the beginning or he was just fascinated by me.. After few days of our relationship, he ...
A. 6 August 2012: This is the type of guy who you really dont want to be with. From what you wrote he's controlling and manipulative and tries to hold on to you with threats of suicide.
This isnt love! this is abuse!
You dont need his permission to break up!
... (read in full...)
I spent some of my savings. Do I tell my partner?
Q. Spent some of my savings. should i tell him? I am currently saving and in a relationship with someone I have talked about buying a house with, nothing is set in stone but he knows my goals and how much money I have saved. In the past I have ha...
A. 18 July 2012: Its your money; its upto you how you spent it and when you spent it.
Tell him the truth. He doesnt have ownership of your money.... (read in full...)
Is this behavior OK?
Q. Is is ok for my boyfriend to sit on his porch and have beers with his female neighbor without me, possibly go inside if the weather is too hot and have drinks with her in there?...
A. 18 July 2012: If they are only friends and you trust him whats the issue?
however if you have your suspicions tell him!... (read in full...)
I didn't sign on for benefits but I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do or not!
Q. I got married in April to the most wonderful man in the world, I was 41 and he was 47. It's both our first marriage and we couldn't be happier. My contract for my job is temporary and I will not until Sept if it will be renewed. Therefore, I...
A. 18 July 2012: If your husband says its OK dont sign on.
If you feel that the money will HELP him, then sign on.
He could do with a little help.
Signing on isnt a bad thing; your entitled to that money: you paid your taxes! its your right to sign on.
... (read in full...)
Guys, what the hell? Why do you do this to us girls?
Q. I've been dating this amazingly gorgeous and super smart guy for over three months now. In the first weeks he was really into me, taking me out to dinner all the time and really affectionate with me. After two months I made the mistake of telling ...
A. 18 July 2012: I'm not a male answering this; but it could be for him your moving too fast, and he wants to slow the pace a little.
Goodluck!... (read in full...)
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