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... Send *tarlights a private message | | | *tarlights's profile:What qualifies me to help people? I say its because i've met people from all walks of life, i've heard all the stories, ive even lived some incredible AND heart wrenching stories myself and I am not type to judge others.
In my spare time I enjoy reading, socializing and writing.
Remember no problem is too big that it cant be solved.
Be happy AND remember
there is a solution for everything!
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| Latest articles: The Art of Being Happy!
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: The Art of Being Happy The key we have been given in this life which sets us apart from any creature living on this planet, is that as humans, we have free will to do good or bad. To ourselves or to others. Simply We have a choice. W...
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Should I go back to the books and graduate, then try for university again?
Q. My question may not have any relevance to love... But ill give it a try, back in 2007 i did my matric but i failed so i didnt graduate from high school,i was gonna study neurology, since i had a grade 10 certificate i could go to college and opte...
A. 30 September 2009: You've answered your own question. If you feel you spent time doing something your heart is not into then start again, its never too late. Go back to University and study if you have the opportunity to do so.
There is nothing worse than waking u... (read in full...)
Please I need advice on finding love
Q. Hi everyone, thanks for reading at least. I'm 23 and have never had any kind of close relationship with anyone. It never works when I feel attracted to someone, maybe because I show myself really enthusiastic about what may be going on and become ...
A. 28 September 2009: Its not easy meeting the right "one" but you can open up opportunites for yourself by getting out there and meeting a partner.
Try this dating site
http://smoothfind.com
This one is good for meeting singles, get talking to fellow minded... (read in full...)
Do I not have a boyfriend because of my looks?
Q. iam 15 iam young i know...my problem is in my look..i just cant cope with it,maybe because i cant have a boyfreind ..most of my freinds have boyfreinds 2 or more..but me i have zero..i thought maybe because of my look am fat,ugly have nothin nice in ...
A. 28 September 2009: I think the reason why you dont have a bf is not down to your looks but down to the way you feel about yourself.
Alot of not typically beautiful people have plenty of lovers because they love themselves, their beauty shines from inside out.
... (read in full...)
Why is she acting like this?
Q. i am 21. i had a relationship with the girl of my dreams but due to some silly reasons and some miscommunication we broke up 6 months ago in a hassle. it even got a bit ugly for some time for the both of us. she never used to return my calls and ...
A. 28 September 2009: It could be she has feelings for you but doesnt want to get hurt by having a relationship with you due to the way things ended the last time. Or she could just want to be friends with you only and keep contact with you.
She has made it clear th... (read in full...)
My best friend is cheating on his girlfriend and it bothers me!
Q. OK I'm in a fix! My very best friend is a guy. We're very close and he tells me a lot of 'things'. Well, my friend, lets call him M, has a girlfriend named N. Being a country of racial differences, his mom opposes. He says she's very understanding ...
A. 27 September 2009: I am afraid you have done all you can in telling your friend his behaviour is wrong. He has chosen to not listen to you and you need to leave him to it then.
I am a firm believer what goes around comes around -in short -karma.
He may be behav... (read in full...)
Why do people come into our lives to make things difficult?
Q. Why do people come into our lives to make things difficult? Is there any way to remove oneself from society so much so that nothing or no one can interfere in our affairs? I feel like people in general hate seeing other people happy, and try t...
A. 27 September 2009: Can I say removing yourself wont solve anything.
Let me tell you why.
Life is designed in such a mathmatical way that all of us face difficulties at certain points in life to test our character. The trick to getting what you want and being h... (read in full...)
Messed up life...
Q. i have been with my husband for 7 years i had left my whole family for him ever since i have been touch with my family on and off for the past few years over the fone iv not seen them i give up for a couple of years then ring them again for ...
A. 27 September 2009: You really need to sit down and have a heart to heart about this with your husband. You have come this far and your marriage is worth working at.
Regardless of what he says or anyone else thinks the fact remains this is your flesh and blood, a... (read in full...)
I was wondering if people could help me with ideas/concepts for a short film that would be feasable.
Q. Hello there, I suppose this question is a little different, but I'm still looking for advice/help. Also, I'd like to think this could be a little fun, and be a little more light than some of the topics discussed on the forum. Briefly, since...
A. 27 September 2009: I can understand the frustration of not being able to find a job in this current economic climate but its good to see you have not let this hinder you in focusing on your passion which is directing!
I also studied a media degree and finding ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if my boyfriend still loves his ex?
Q. i love my boyfriend he says he loves me but deep down in side i think he still loves his ex how do i know?...
A. 24 September 2009: From you asking this question I feel you have insecurity issues within.
You need to think of the reasons why your bf loves you, he says he does, if not ask him what qualities he likes about you that makes him say he loves you.
If he loved h... (read in full...)
Does the way I dress scare women?
Q. The reason I ask is because I often get some strange looks from women as I walk past. They often give me a look like they're scared. I'm wondering if its because of the way I dress. I often wear a black coat, usually wear black jeans, have black ...
A. 24 September 2009: Hi,
Its a possibility that the way you dress has something to do with why people may glare at you in the street.
Alot of people dress in black and get away with it so I dont know why you have this problem, unless of course you come across as "... (read in full...)
Is it ok to be married and have friends of the opposite sex?
Q. I am 41 and have been married for 22 years. Is it ok for me to have female friends and my wife to have male friends? We have plenty of mutual friends but maybe we need our private lives to help us remember who we are. I have been told that the ...
A. 24 September 2009: You are married but it does not mean your life is over. Your entitled to have friends whomever you choose.
Of course straying is not an option, you should keep your friends at certain limits but to have your own interests with friends outside ... (read in full...)
I fancy my English Teacher
Q. I am 15 and I have a crush on my 22 year old English Teacher! She is soo Hot! In lesssons she keeps looking at me and smileing? Why is that? Does she like me?...
A. 24 September 2009: Its normal to have a crush on your teacher and your teacher is smiling at you because of so many reasons.
One is just to be friendly. Although even if she did like you there is nothing you can do about it because of your age and her status. ... (read in full...)
Creepy ex using our daughter to get to me!
Q. Hi I have a question regarding visitation. I have full legal and sole custody of my daughter due to the fact that he never showed up for the court dates. Child support is set up, but he has not paid a dime and he owes about 1,000 dollars. He is set ...
A. 23 September 2009: Hi,
Firstly from what you have written about your ex he sounds very unstable and dangerous. It is truly unsafe to leave him alone with your daughter because you can never know which jeckll or hyde character will present itself through him.
... (read in full...)
What's the worst that can happen if I don't treat my yeast infection?
Q. what's the worst that can happen if i don't treat my yeast infection?...
A. 26 August 2009: Yeast infection is a fungal infection which can cause discomfort and itching in the vagina.
It depends what type of yeast infection you have for it cause serious harm. You can have it an infection in your throat and then it can lead to serious ... (read in full...)
Are good gut feelings always right?
Q. I am just wondering, has anyone around here had proven that their gut feeling is right? Can we trust our gut feeling whether it be negative or positive? Why do I always read stories here that negative gut feelings are right like for example chea...
A. 26 August 2009: Gut feelings are basically a judgement we make about something sometimes called instinct.
Yes you should listen to your gut feeling because its alerting you something which can be good or bad for you. Your basically picking up a vibe.
Ive had... (read in full...)
My friend died. Could I have stopped it? Do I talk to my friend about it or will it cause him problems?
Q. This is kinda a long qustion and one that has probably been a long time coming but which has suddenly been brought to the surface. I'm in a really awkward situation and I don't know what to do. When I was 14, my best friend killed himself. ...
A. 26 August 2009: I am really sad to hear your story. Unfortunately it is so common that as humans we dont recognise the signs of someone in deep despair and suicidal tendancies.
Firstly you have nothing to feel guilty about.
You were a good friend to your f... (read in full...)
Should I cut my family out of my life for the man I love?
Q. Dear cupid, I have been having a terrible time with my family and friends harrasing me about the man I have been dating for the last year. He is kind, respectful, and treats me better than any man I have ever been with and I am hoping we could ge...
A. 24 August 2009: How your parents feel about your partner is THEIR problem.
If you want to be with this guy you need to explain to your parents once again that this is the guy you've chosen to be in your life regardless of his colour.
People often keep preju... (read in full...)
Should I take advantage of her?
Q. I've been in a relationship for about two weeks with a girl that I met online. We are compatible in a variety of ways, and we find each other attractive. However, even before we met in person, I realized that I don't want a relationship, and that I ...
A. 24 August 2009: You've been in a relationship for 2 weeks with a person you met online and she says she loves you?
Sounds to me like you guys are moving way too fast!
slow down!
You have done the right thing by being honest with her and saying you dont want... (read in full...)
Guys: pretty face? or fit body?
Q. This question is directed to guys on the site really...but I was just wondering whether guys are more attracted by a pretty face or a fit body? ...Not that it matters eventually when you find love but which is initially more attractive?...
A. 23 August 2009: Good question.
I am not a guy but i've been told by the guys in England:
" dont look at the mantelpiece when poking the fire " !... (read in full...)
What can I do? Clash of cultures and family scandal...
Q. Basically I am a white woman and for 3 years now, with a break in between I must admit, I have been with my BF who is Asian. He's Pataan and his family is Muslim; he does not share their views but out of respect for his parents, who are quite old ...
A. 23 August 2009: This is a difficult situation you are in and its not an easy life.
Your bf is stuck between his culture/parents/religion and you.
He is under pressure and if he doesnt follow his parents traditions he risks losing the entire family and disho... (read in full...)
Which one do I choose? My boyfriend or my soulmate?
Q. I recently broke off a 5 year relationship with a guy. But it wasn't just an ordinary break up. During the latter part of the relationship, I kept ignoring thoughts that I was not in love with my boyfriend as much as I was when we were starting ou...
A. 23 August 2009: You have to choose the one that you feel is right for you.
Ignore what people in your life think or say, ultimately its your life and your partner.
The BF who forgave you can never change to be the person you want him to be its hard for people ... (read in full...)
Should I follow my heart and see her despite my mother's insistance I stay focused on studies?
Q. Dear Cupid.... I have met this girl in high school, and also in junior high, but I only had a small crush on her back then. But now, 10 years later, I typed her name on facebook..and she is there. Well, testing my courage, I typed her that I like ...
A. 23 August 2009: Your mum is only telling you what she feels is right for you.
I know you feel deeply attracted to this girl but even I think your studies should come first.
You've worked so hard thus far in your studies and if this girl truly likes you she wi... (read in full...)
Wife left to visit parents across the country and won't return! How to convince her to come back until we can both move away?
Q. Hi, sorry for the long message, question is actually quite short, but needs the background to properly understand: I need advice / help on how to keep my marriage from falling apart. Some background info: my wife and I have been married for 6 ...
A. 23 August 2009: Why dont you ask your wife if her parents would put up with both of you living there temporarily with them until you sort yourself out with a job and home in their city?
Its obvious your wife has made her decision to stay with her parents and does... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin, he wants to make love but I'm so scared!
Q. Well, I am really akward when it comes to boys, but there is this particular one who is sooo sweet, and he is just beutiful inside and out, but one day when we were alone, he began to touch me, it felt so good, but as he began to try and unbutton my ...
A. 23 August 2009: If you dont feel ready to have sex yet then dont do anything.
It might have freaked you out because you wasnt expecting him to make a move like that so soon.
If he is special he will wait until you say you are ready.
A special guy wont f... (read in full...)
Do I quit him or confront him? Met online, seemed sincere, lied about his job.
Q. After an exhausting break-up with my ex, I met this wonderful guy online. He seems like a really nice guy. Our conversation was always decent. We talk about our professions, our jobs, our families, our dreams in life, our likes and dislikes. We even ...
A. 23 August 2009: This is the problem with internet romances as you can never really know if someone is truthfully being honest with you. For all you know he could be a criminal. If you have attempted to call his work place and they have no record of someone w... (read in full...)
My parents will reject him for ethnic reasons. How do I make this work?
Q. hello everyone. I'm having a huge problem. Me and my friend have been talking for a while and we really like each other, we recently began dating and it will be a month soon. He treats me exactly how I deserve. So caring, and nice, just really m...
A. 22 August 2009:
I am sure in time your parents will come round to the idea if they truly love you.
However it will not be easy to convince them if they are prejudiced.
Your parents have their own rigid views and think they know whats best for you.
... (read in full...)
My parents will reject him for ethnic reasons. How do I make this work?
Q. hello everyone. I'm having a huge problem. Me and my friend have been talking for a while and we really like each other, we recently began dating and it will be a month soon. He treats me exactly how I deserve. So caring, and nice, just really m...
A. 22 August 2009:
I am sure in time your parents will come round to the idea if they truly love you.
However it will not be easy to convince them if they are prejudiced.
Your parents have their own rigid views and think they know whats best for you.
... (read in full...)
We're apparently good friends, so is there a reason why we hardly talk to each other?
Q. I'm confused...erm if you read this your a saint! And if u even attempt to try and think about it and reply to me....well your officially the best! You see, I'm very confused about one of my friends...he's male, we went to college together but we ...
A. 22 August 2009: I think your reading way too much into this and taking everything so seriously.
Everyone has different views on what makes a good friendship.
Have you considered maybe this is how he views friendship: sometimes he can be himself and be s... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's ex stalks me but I'm scared to tell him...
Q. Hi, I have a bit of a bizarre problem and was wondering if anyone could give me some advice about how to deal with it. My boyfriend was with his ex girlfriend for 2 years and i know they meant loads to each other. they had a pretty rocky rel...
A. 22 August 2009: It sounds as if you have a stalker/admirer whichever way you want to look at it, although its clearly making you feel uncomfortable. You dont have any evidence this girl has hacked into your account although if you do feel unsafe and violated in ... (read in full...)
What excercises should I do, and what food should I eat, to help me lose weight?
Q. hey everyone. i know this is a relationship advice site...and my question hasnt much to do with that, but i was wondering if you could help me out. im a 16 year old teenager, who is about 5'5". i weigh about 145 and wear size seven jeans. i want...
A. 22 August 2009: Foods with high water content are good for weight loss.
Check this out for food which can help with diets
http://www.weightlossforall.com/weight-loss-foods.htm
also to develop your abs you may want to try basic crunch and leg lifts as ... (read in full...)
She told me to change after we broke up, but I can't! I just want her back!
Q. Last year,i broke up with my ex-girlfriend.She told me to move on and get over.She is over me but i am still in love with her.Every time we talk. I always bring up the past which makes her doesn't want to talk to me again which end up having a short ...
A. 22 August 2009: Firstly if you continue to bring up the past with your ex it may lead her to cut you out of her life completely so realise now you have to change.
this isnt healthy for either of you.
If you have declared your love to your ex and she does not... (read in full...)
I love her and want her back, what can I do?
Q. Hi, I met a girl three years ago I was 27 she was 18, we fell in love and moved in. Now I am 30 and she is 21, we were due to get married next month and had been trying for a baby, we were happy, then 3mths ago she got a new job and a guy started ...
A. 22 August 2009: Unfortunately you have to accept this is over.
Your ex gf has made her choice.
she is still a young woman and probably did not want to get tied down yet.
She has chosen another guy but dont let it make you feel bad because its no refle... (read in full...)
Husband lunching with one of my female colleagues. Should I worry?
Q. My husband has come to take me to lunch at work, if I couldn't go he would ask one of the the other girls to go, someone always went with him. Thinking about it now it was mostly the same person. I feel this was a bit off. We were only a few minutes ...
A. 22 August 2009: If you dont feel comfortable with the fact that your husbands spends 1 hour of his lunch with your female colleagues then tell him!
a good marriage is based on communication and trust.
if you dont tell him of your insecurities it wont help the... (read in full...)
Is my dad forgetting about me?
Q. hi there, my dad and his ex girlfriend were together for 10 years they met when i was 5 and im now 15, and now he has a new girlfriend i hardly ever see him anymore, like he is going to the V festival with her and her family and when i asked if...
A. 22 August 2009:
yes it is a little heartless of dad to say that he didnt have any tickets spare but maybe he said that because it is true.
I know events such as the V festival does sell out pretty quick.
If your feeling pushed to the side you need to tal... (read in full...)
Why did he take the condoms with him? How should I handle this issue?
Q. hi. I would like some advise. I have asked my friends but i feel that the more advise i get the better i can handle the situation. I met this guy, rather oddly in the street, about two months ago. ( we live about 200 miles from each other) We ...
A. 22 August 2009: It sounds to me like you guys have an open relationship in this case it would be silly to say how you feel because he wont take much notice of it anyway
- he's already told you he isnt looking for a girlfriend which means no monogomy.
on the ot... (read in full...)
He proposed the 'no contact' rule but he violates it
Q. My ex when we broke up asked me to stop texting him so we would both recover fast. I agreed to this and tried my best. The thing is, we still remained in contact because there were things we needed to return to each other. I told him, if indeed h...
A. 21 August 2009: This is something you need to ask your ex bf.
we cant honestly read his mind, but its as if he cant let go of this situation.
If you want to get back together with him chances are he's thinking the same thing so why dont you guys talk about ... (read in full...)
I thought we were getting back together, then he texted 'it ain't gonna happen'!
Q. me and my ex split up just over a month ago and its killin me. im so upset and cant stop thinkin about him. a week after we broke up he was with a new girl so that just hurt even more. feel like i ment nothing to him after over 2 years. but we ...
A. 21 August 2009: it sounds as if this guy is confused and playing with both your feelings.
He did you a favour you want someone dependable.
you dont want someone like him, who will declare undying love then retract their love so quickly.
he is a user an... (read in full...)
Do I tell her how I feel, or do I just wait for her?
Q. I'm a 20 year old guy, and i think i am in love with a 17 year old girl, I have known her all my life but just realised how beautiful and how nice her personality is. I sent her a message the other day telling her how i felt but the next day i sent ...
A. 21 August 2009: why dont u just tell her how you feel?
sure you risk getting rejected by her but life's all about taking chances.
Dont be shy, or else you never will know what might have been and she may end up meeting someone else and then it might be too ... (read in full...)
He kisses weird and I don't know how to go about it
Q. okay well i started dating this guy and its the best thing that ever happened to me. But i have a problem. when we kiss and he goes to make out with me, i can't think straight! and plus he makes out so different than the other guys i have made ...
A. 21 August 2009: Ok the next time you and your bf kiss dont get so nervous.
tell him you want to show him how you like to be kissed, then kiss him how you like it.
then get him to do that back to you.
Kissing improves the more you practice at it.
good ... (read in full...)
My new husband has never introduced me to his parents/siblings/family ...
Q. I recently married my husband in his country of residence, and although we married in the same city as my spouse's parents live in, he did not invite them nor did he ever introduce me to them. He claims it was because he was "on the outs" with them ...
A. 21 August 2009: I think you should trust your intuition.
Mostly indian kids are close to their parents, very rarely do they break their parents law and traditions & choose someone by themselves to marry (i exempt from this, i chose to marry my husband over the... (read in full...)
What can I do to not get worked up over little things that he does?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 10 months..I love him a lot and he helps me through everything. He treats me well and lets me do everything I want to do. Just he annoys me and since I have really bad aniexty it drives me nuts like ...
A. 21 August 2009: Try to be patient with your partner.
You say you love him, and you need to realise us humans arent perfect creatures, we all annoy each other sometimes.
It could be your ultra sensitive and techincally the younger one is the more sensitive t... (read in full...)
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