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... Send *tarlights a private message | | | *tarlights's profile:What qualifies me to help people? I say its because i've met people from all walks of life, i've heard all the stories, ive even lived some incredible AND heart wrenching stories myself and I am not type to judge others.
In my spare time I enjoy reading, socializing and writing.
Remember no problem is too big that it cant be solved.
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| Latest articles: The Art of Being Happy!
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: The Art of Being Happy The key we have been given in this life which sets us apart from any creature living on this planet, is that as humans, we have free will to do good or bad. To ourselves or to others. Simply We have a choice. W...
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Will guys mind if I have a weird looking vagina?
Q. This is a little embarrassing, but I'm really worried. I have a really weird looking vagina, like quite long lips that kinda hide my clit, I think it looks weird but no one I've slept with have said anything, but I'm really scared about the way it...
A. 25 July 2009: to be honest guys dont mind as long as it works and does the job, ha!
dont compare yourself to other women, your body is as it is,
we all come in different shapes, colours, and sizes.
you are what you are and if a guy truly loves you he w... (read in full...)
My ex mentioned he'd kill another guy if I was with him!
Q. A while ago me and my boyfriend broke up and we decided to be mates with privileges, it was all good until we actually had sex, he got like half way through it and then said “what are we?” and I said “mates?” and he stopped? Eh, don’t think he’s got ...
A. 25 July 2009: sounds like your mate has fallen for you.
he can threaten all he wants but ultimately its your life and you have to do what makes you happy.
you need to explain to him honestly that it was just sex and nothing more and you are entitled to have... (read in full...)
I haven't had sex for a long time, but my girlfriend won't sleep with me. Please help!
Q. I've started dating a girl. We both know that our relationship can't last because we're both going back to university at the end of summer. Because we don't have time to get to know each other, she says she won't have sex with me... But it's been a ...
A. 25 July 2009: if she doesnt want to have sex with you, you cannot force her into it.
however you can do other things sexually besides sex, (oral etc) the both of you, that way you are both satisfied.
good luck!... (read in full...)
I feel more for my younger boss than my husband!
Q. I have been obsessed with another man who happens to be my boss and 12 years younger. He is funny, good looking and sexy. He doesn't feel the same way about me. He is married with 3 children. My husband is disabled and our marriage is having ...
A. 25 July 2009: if you dont see your husband getting better everyday then he wont.
he needs your encouragement and support now.
forget anything with the boss and focus on your marriage.
remember why you fell in love with your husband and encourage hi... (read in full...)
I've got a bad feeling about my daughter's boyfriend!
Q. I have always had a great relationship with my 18 year old daughter. But lately |I feel liek I dont even know her any more. She started dating Jason about 6 months ago, he seem like a good kid but something just doesnt seem right with him. He ...
A. 25 July 2009: you need to recognise your daughter is changing she is growing into her own being, becoming her own person and making her own decisions.
even if your gut feeling about her bf is right you cannot interfere now, because your daughter has to learn fr... (read in full...)
I've liked this guy for nine years but I'm so shy...what should I do?
Q. i've liked this dude for about 9 years we recently just met again a month ago but my feelings for him haven't changed and i want to tell him i like him its just i'm so shy.what should i do?...
A. 25 July 2009: dont be shy.
how can the guy know you like him if you dont make a move?
firstly why dont u ask him out or invite him somewhere,
maybe you can have a friends get to together and get to know him more before you decide that you really are t... (read in full...)
How do I stop feeling resentment toward my boyfriend's daughter?
Q. how do i stop resentment for my boyfriends daughter? i feel so slack... i am constantly annoyed at her.. she is 2, i find myself annoyed everyday, she is very naughty. sometimes i cant handle coming 2nd. will this get any easier? its been a yr and a ...
A. 25 July 2009: firstly i must commend you for putting up with someone's else daughter, not alot of people can handle such a difficult situation.
secondly kiddies that age are always naughty. always running around and causing havoc, thats what kids that age do. ... (read in full...)
I always thought I was funny and happy but now I'm worried friends are thinking I'm an idiot!
Q. I need some opinions about personalities, and how people perceive eachother, in this case its me. I am 24 male, hard working, single.. I am told by people and friends that I am a social butterfly because I enjoy meeting new people. With ...
A. 25 July 2009: no dont change.
people call you mad or crazy because you have more energy than them and this is not normal as most people have average energy, ....
but you have bundles more!
see yourself as special because you dont act like them.
at lea... (read in full...)
I'm too scared to ask him how he feels in case I scare him off!
Q. I'm so unbelievably confused! I can't even think how to get all these thoughts written down in an order that makes sense. I always thought I knew how to figure guys out but I could really use some help, I'm thinking someone impartial might be able ...
A. 25 July 2009: even if he is a reserved guy you can tell by his actions how he feels towards you.
if you want a relationship & he doesnt its time to walk away otherwise you will always be stuck in limbo and eventually grow strong feelings which can develop ... (read in full...)
Wow! Why is everything in my life going crazy?
Q. Wow!! It's being a long time since i wrote Dear Cupid but i really need some help on this one. My (Best Friend??28) left agian to move to flordia but before she left we was not really talking to me and she chose a man over me we have been best ...
A. 25 July 2009: you need to calm down and look at the situations all around you.
everything is falling apart and this is a sign to look within yourself for clarity.
firstly your boyfriend has a wife already? and he wants to get you pregnant? without marriage... (read in full...)
I'd like to be more than a friend to her but can't notice any difference in the way she acts now
Q. I met a girl who I quickely became attracted to. Then she got a boyfriend and I continued to like her. Now almost a year later when I was pretty close to forgeting about ever being more than friends, i find out that she has broken up with her ...
A. 25 July 2009: she has just come out of a relationship so give it time and just be there for her as a friend.
keep your emotions under control because you dont want to preassurise her or scare her in anyway.
in the meantime focus on your own life and not att... (read in full...)
How can I become a better conversationalist?
Q. i cant hold a long and deep conversation.. for example if im out with a friend i just cant think of something to keep on talking. even if my mates talk i cant think of something to respond with! i can respond basically but i cant make it deep and ...
A. 25 July 2009: first of all relax!
dont put too much preassure on yourself, being a good conversationists takes practice.
the best way to initiate conversation is ask questions about the other person, keep asking questions, and listen to the answers and go f... (read in full...)
Thought things were going well with my ex, but now there's a g/f??
Q. Ok, So I bumped into an ex Boyfriend at a party and ended going back to his and staying the night. A couple of days later he messaged me on Facebook wanting to meet up again, he said i was gorgeous and all sorts of nice stuff. We went out for a dr...
A. 25 July 2009: this is not your fault it happened as you didnt realise the whole truth to the situation.
but your ex was obviously using you.
you can ask him directly why he has done this to her im sure as a good friend he can give you a straightforward ... (read in full...)
Will she make a particular sound if she has an orgasm?
Q. During intercourse last night my girlfriend gasped several times and then released a deep sigh.This was the 1st time she'd been vocal.Afterwards I asked if she'd orgasmed .She said no but now felt the need to express the pleasure of feeling my ...
A. 25 July 2009: normally when girls orgasm they do release a high noise of relief.
better to ask her then 2nd guess!
good luck... (read in full...)
It's great when we're together, but when we're not I think about being single.
Q. I've been dating a girl for about 4 months now. Its the longest relationship and i like her quite alot. we get along really well and she understands me better than most have in the past. she seems to like me alot however lately ive been wondering ...
A. 25 July 2009: its normal to feel attracted to other people. as long as you dont feel anything more to it than that your ok. however as you dont miss her when your away from her, this makes me question whether or not your ready to settle down with just o... (read in full...)
Did I smother him? How do I get his interest back?
Q. I have just come out of a long term relationship and have a son but have just started looking at dating, so to play it safe I went on a date with someone I have known a long time (but wasn't close too) we went out had a great time he paid me lots of ...
A. 25 July 2009: maybe something has happened to him thats why he hasnt called or msged you. have you a mutual friend you share who can check up and see if he's ok? its rather strange to be texting one minute then off key the next. good luck!... (read in full...)
How to let co-worker down easy?
Q. I am in a bit of a bind. A co-worker of mine is interested in me but I am not interested in her in that way. We've only known each other for about a month but I only see her once a week. She gave me her email and insisted I add her on msn. When I ...
A. 25 July 2009: you sound like you have an obessessed fan there.
try talkin to her and say your not looking for a relationship.
if she continues to hassle you , you can report her to work, because this is against work rules.
ultimately you dont f... (read in full...)
I am in love with a man who doesn't want children!
Q. I am in LOVE with a man who i recently broke up with because he does not want to have children. I felt like he was rejecting me. He loves me and tells me so. I have ended this relationship, then poured my heart out to him repeatedly as i do not want ...
A. 25 July 2009: i really think if you both want different things from your future it cannot work in the long run.
you want kids and he doesnt.
this is a big issue and will be the cause of arguements between the both of you.
maybe breaking up is the right... (read in full...)
I want him back so badly but don't know how to do it!
Q. Is it ok to just express yourself on this site? I am feeling the lowest since last night. I cried till 4 am but I still don't think I cried enough. I really thought I am slowly getting over my ex who I broke up with 3 months ago but realized las...
A. 25 July 2009: your grieving because you loved him alot.
there is no easy way out of this.
the tears will flow because your heart is still hurting.
he was not a good guy because he cheated on you.
you need to see him for what he was, a loser.
thi... (read in full...)
He doesn't get that I BROKE UP with him! Help!
Q. Okay, so I ended it with my boyfriend today, and I don't think he knows I'm serious? :/ He keeps saying love you baby in texts and stuff, when I don't say it back he gets upset, eh I just ended it, why would I say it back? :( It's making it pretty ...
A. 25 July 2009: this is all part of his personality.
tell him again and keep reminding him you are not his girlfriend.
if he continues his ways try cutting down the time you spend to him.
this will save you from him trying to win your attention with absu... (read in full...)
Shouldn't he be more concerned about my safety?
Q. Ok, so my bf went to a party with his friends the other night, while I was out with my friends. When I was on my way home, my bus broke down and I had to wait for another bus in a sketchy neighbourhood, alone, in the dark. I called my bf to keep me ...
A. 25 July 2009: you need to speak to your boyfriend about his lack of his care towards your safety, maybe he doesnt realise how much this effects you.
your not overreacting, next time you have some moments ask him to call you to see if you have reached safetly ... (read in full...)
She doesn't want me to see her sick from her chemo treatments!
Q. My gf and I have been friends for 4 years, dating for 14 months now. Shw was recently diagnosed with cancer. She was really open about it at frist telling me about her fears, wanting me to be there for appointments etc. She started chimo ...
A. 25 July 2009: i think if she doesnt want you to stay around you need to respect it, and not add more stress to the situation.
text message her everyday telling her you love her, call her, send her flowers, gifts , keep doing this until she finally feels co... (read in full...)
Is it fair to say women can't be bad at sex?
Q. Hey This is going to sound like a silly silly question, but oh well. So many answers about sex say women don't have to do much during sex (obviously more is better but...), is it then fair to say women can't really be bad at sex? :S...
A. 25 July 2009: Good sex involves both the man and woman participating.
its no use just for the girl to lie there and the man do nothing.
women can be bad in sex just as men can.
good sex is about satisfying one another.
hope this answers your questi... (read in full...)
Should I go see the doctor for this?
Q. my girlfriend wants to touch my penis but i feel something uneasy my heartbeats gets high and my blood pressure rises when she tries touch i feel awkward please help what should i do should i go to doctor...
A. 25 July 2009: your not relaxed enough thats why you feel uneasy. dont let her touch anything until you feel ready for it ... (read in full...)
I want to trust him but when he doesn't answer my calls I have doubts!
Q. Hi I am Sana I am muslim and he is hindu,It has been a 15 months of our relationship we love each other very much we are toghter from apr 2008 with a unconditional love and trust but In month of november his mother got hospitalised and his ...
A. 25 July 2009: You know that your bf's family doesnt want you both to be together And you know this relationship can never go further becoz of both your religions and the country you are in. Your bf chose his family the first time over you and he will keep c... (read in full...)
How long does it take a person to decide whether they want to get back together with you or not?
Q. I sent my ex a let's get back together letter. I told him to take his time and think about it. I know he'll definitely answer (he would never not answer) but it's been 4 days. It's a good sign that time is passing bc I know he actually is thinking ...
A. 25 July 2009: YOUR ex bf is probably having a think about things. yes normally the longer it takes him to reply the more he has doubts. but he cud generally be busy with his life too. there's nothin u can do but wait til he gives u an answer. good luck... (read in full...)
I'm a 29 year old virgin that doesn't want to wait anymore
Q. I'm a 29yr old virgin, and while I know that's 'okay', I really would like to have a (few) sexual experience(s) before I turn thirty. (And please don't give me self-esteem advice or wait-for-fate advice. I just really want to try this, in case I ...
A. 25 July 2009: sex isnt everything and u shouldnt put too much preassure on yourself to lose your virginity.
everyone has a time and place for it, and to be honest would u really want to lose it to a total stranger and realise it isnt hyped up as everyone... (read in full...)
We have decided to lose our virginity to each other....but I'm scared and uncomfortable with my body
Q. Hey... Well ive been dating this guy for around 3 almost 4 years and like latley hes been like beenig wayyyy to much of a sweetheart :) and i love it! :] We are both 18 and agree that we are ready to loose are virginitys to each other... It will soo...
A. 25 July 2009: whether or not it hurts on your first time varies between women to women.
for some it hurts alot for others painless.
some bleed some dont.
i wouldnt worry so much about it.
my first time i bled alittle and it didnt hurt, which is kind... (read in full...)
First time sex question!
Q. Hello peeps, I am 25 this year and is currently seeing a 40-year old woman. She is divorced and has one child. We knew each other about two months ago and really hit it off, hence we are currently at this stage. In her marriage, she had mostl...
A. 25 July 2009: Just because ur a virgin and its your first time doesnt mean its gotta be basic or boring.
u have to make the night special, light candles in the room, give her a nice massage , kissing (basic foreplay)
just take the night as it comes, u cant... (read in full...)
How do I get over the disappointment that I wasn't meant to have a religion? And what about this unresolved anger I feel for mean, stupid, ignorant people?
Q. This is a relationship question, although I'm not sure which category of relationships it belongs to. I'm hoping someone in the forum can help me, because I'm angry all the time. I need to get over this, but I just can't get closure. I don't k...
A. 25 July 2009: First of all I must commend you for trying to seek a relationship with the most high, or what u call god.
Sometimes u face a lot of obstacles in your path to truth but these obstacles be it in people or situations, are simply there to test you... (read in full...)
I married the wrong man! Now what?
Q. I stupidly married knowing i was in love with someone else whom I will call Mr X. Mr X is not married but is still trying to get over a woman that left him 9 years ago. He says he loves us both. I know that I shouldnt be with my husband but when I ...
A. 25 July 2009: once u leave your husband, then give it time before rushing into things with MR X.
remember he is dealing with his own heartbreak so until he gets over the other love he cant totally commit 100% to you.
good luck!... (read in full...)
How long before the pain ends?
Q. so the day has come when I finally need help...though it might be too late but anyway...me and my bf...now ex...have recently broken up...he says i'm hard to talk to....I get it...but what I dont get is how cna he have started dating someone else ...
A. 25 July 2009: first of all, breaking up with someone u love is one of the hardest pains in life.
but you will get through this, millions of people have gotten thru this, and u will also.
u need to go through this grief, cry everyday if u have to, until u... (read in full...)
Friend's husband is pursuing me and she suspects something about him
Q. Hello aunts, its 3.30am here in england and my mobile is ringing over and over with texts and calls from my friends husband. His wife, one of my best friends is away in spain at the moment. Hes done this before, a few months ago. He made me swear id ...
A. 25 July 2009: if she suspects him and she directly asks u if something is goin on u shud tell her.
she is ur friend and regardless u have the duty to be honest with her.
her husband is a rat and ur being a great friend by not giving into him.
but you... (read in full...)
I don't think the day-after pill is an option! Is there anything I can do?
Q. hi well i recently had an abortion 2 weeks and 2 days ago to be exact, it was the hardest thing i have had to do but i couldnt keep it because i am a law student and cant get the time off to look after a baby at this point of time in my life.. ...
A. 25 July 2009: no u cant take the morning after pill as its been over a week now.
i think wait for ur next period,
chances are u are not pregnant but one can never know.
there are other contreceptive devices u can use, have u been to the doctor to seek al... (read in full...)
He's angry I didn't come visit, but he told me not to come if I was sick!
Q. the only time i get to see my bf is on the weekends, and this weekend i was meant to go over on friday night, but i have been too sick, i wasnt in the mood for the 2 hour train ride so i told him im too sick, ill see how i am tomorrow. so i call him ...
A. 25 July 2009: if your ill then it isnt fair he be angry with u.
u made the right decision not to go.
in time if your bf loves u he will forgive u.
be patient and see if he comes round.
if he carries on like this leave him becoz maybe once in a ... (read in full...)
Is this love? I'm involved with another man for 8 years!
Q. is possible one can love two person at a time .i m married 18 yr with kids .my husband is nice .i love him care about him,but same time i love another person who fell in love with me.(HE ALSO MARRIED)now i m also attracted to him .i am involved ...
A. 25 July 2009: if u really loved ur husband u wouldnt cheat on him or lie to him.
so its possible your in lust with your boyfriend and just using your husband becoz its convienient.
you might be enjoying urself now, but the truth always does come out. whatev... (read in full...)
How can I make sex enjoyable for an older woman?
Q. I have come to really like an older woman. She is 12 years older than me. despite our age difference is it ok for us to have sex? How can I make sex enjoyable for an older woman? Ladies who have any experience with younger men please give advice. ...
A. 25 July 2009: to make sex enjoyable for an older women its like any women, we like romance, and made to feel beautiful!
you just need to be more attentive and try and find out what she's into, and give her stimulating conversation also.
intelligence ... (read in full...)
I like her... but does she like me back?
Q. i made a new female friend through a male mate. they have had sex but not intercourse ie only oral etc. it was a one off. i have come to like her a lot..especially attracted to her. how do i kno she feels the same? we hav hanged out without my mate ...
A. 25 July 2009: if u held her and she hasnt reciprocated maybe she just doesnt fancy u?
u can tell alot by someone's body language and if she's doing as u stated she doesnt seem that interested in you.
good luck.... (read in full...)
What can I do to get my now ex-girlfriend back?
Q. I had a gf for 2yr 8mnths. It was a very solid bond between us. Then due to some misunderstanding we dint speak to each other for some time and then she broke up with me. During the time when we dint speak to each other she kept thinking about the ...
A. 25 July 2009: if she doesnt want u back then there is nothing u can do to get her back.
you need to realise love isnt like bollywood, sometimes there arent happy endings in love,
just endings.
u need to be strong now and look after urself and it take... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says she shouldn't have to stop hanging out with her ex. What do you think?
Q. Ive been with my partner (we are a lesbian couple) close to a year and she still wants to text and talk and hang out with her ex and its killing me inside. Whenever my gf and I fight she goes to her ex and tells her about the fight in detail. Not ...
A. 25 July 2009: your current gf doesnt respect u as a person.
if she did respect u she would take all what u say into consideration & she would not run back to her ex all the time when u have problems
i think she must secretly enjoy the attention from h... (read in full...)
What can I do about my friends inappropriate behaviour towards my boyfriend?
Q. i was best friends with a girl until she betrayed my trust, backstabbed me and my friends and turned into a person i dont even know, and a person who no one likes at this stage. she likes flirting with guys who are taken, like she enjoys the fact ...
A. 25 July 2009: I THINK IF your friend doesnt respect u and goes after your man every opportunity then she simply isnt a friend.
let go of your so called friendship and stop talking to her.
her behaviour of trying to seduce your bf is out of order. you canno... (read in full...)
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