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*tarlights agony aunt

*tarlights

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*tarlights's profile:

What qualifies me to help people? I say its because i've met people from all walks of life, i've heard all the stories, ive even lived some incredible AND heart wrenching stories myself and I am not type to judge others.

In my spare time I enjoy reading, socializing and writing.

Remember no problem is too big that it cant be solved.

Be happy AND remember

there is a solution for everything!

Latest articles:

The Art of Being Happy!

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25 June 2012: The Art of Being Happy The key we have been given in this life which sets us apart from any creature living on this planet, is that as humans, we have free will to do good or bad. To ourselves or to others. Simply We have a choice. W...

< Prev1234567891011Next > [25 pages, 940 answers]

I am feeling guilty over my friend with benefits!

Q.   Hi I just need some advice on this please have I been unfair in this situation I was in a fwb for 14 months which I wasn't happy with as I was left feeling so used all the time then I found out by three people that knew him that he was married he ...

A.   26 May 2012: No you havent been unfair, you've had something nice with your friend with benefits, now your moving on and settling into a relationship with someone you like. Life is about changes so dont feel guilty for wanting a proper relationship!... (read in full...)

My ex boyfriend brings my confidence down!

Q.   My x bf and I still talk after 2 years of being broken up. Well recently I found out he got his 15 year old fiance pregnant when he's 19 and in the Army! So I decided to ask him about it because I saw pictures/status's from his friends and family on ...

A.   26 May 2012: stop talking to him if he brings you down, who needs friends who bring them down? he's jealous of your achievements and insecure himself thats why he tries to pull you down with him. ... (read in full...)

Should I go to college or stay with my current job?

Q.   For the past few years i have been wondering weather or not i should go off to college, you see i have had a study job working on a farm for sometime now and it actually pays just enough for me to get by on my own, but im not sure if i want to keep ...

A.   25 May 2012: Can you not save money aside from your farm job and at a later date go and do higher education? that way you wont have to move back home if you have some funds. I think if you really want to progress , education and experience is the way to g... (read in full...)

Should I leave my bofriend of 3yrs for masturbating with porn?

Q.   Should I leave my bofriend of 3yrs for masturbating with porn and taking viagra when Im asleep and wake up and catch him? He doesnt give it to me when i want it enless we are off work together. He said that he will continue to do it and i told him ...

A.   25 May 2012: Yes leave him if he does not satisfy you emotionally or physically; if he's watching porn and taking viagra when your not looking and says he doesnt care how you feel; then he's not worth keeping. Goodluck!... (read in full...)

Why people say stop looking for love and let it find you?

Q.   I have been looking love and I could not find it and people have told me to stop looking. And they say If I keep on looking for it I will never find it. So three years ago at the age of 24 I stopped looking and got on with enjoying my life and today ...

A.   25 May 2012: It doesnt sound like you are enjoying life if your putting conditions on yourself such as finding love; your being hard on yourself. Those people who tell you stop looking for love, have in a sense a valid point. When your looking for love... (read in full...)

My ex has turned her back on everyone, what's up?

Q.   So my girlfriend suddenly broke up with me 4 weeks ago. The weekend before we had been on a nice weekend trip, everything was fine. She had moved here from another state with her best friend (another girl) and we almost instantly started dating. ...

A.   25 May 2012: It doesnt sound like her to have a sudden change of character; i think its difficult to say what her problem is over the internet; if she says she is ok when you message her; then its pointless to worry as she does not let you get close to find out ... (read in full...)

Is it bad that a boyfriend asks her girlfriend to cook?

Q.   I have a problem. I have a girlfriend of 2 years and 5 months and you see, she has a friend who has a boyfriend. Well I use to have a crush on her and now that I see her with him...it gets me jealous. I mean she let's me be 'Me' compared to my ...

A.   24 May 2012: Sounds like your girlfriend has an *attitude* problem with you. Why are you with her if she makes you unhappy? Its got nothing to do with her friend why you feel unhappy, (she's an excuse to focus on) this is all about your relationship wit... (read in full...)

I am in love with my next door neighbor!

Q.   I am in love with my next door neighbor. It was love at first sight from the first time I saw him. I have been going crazy because I haven't been able to see him for the past 2 weeks. He has someone and I have someone and I want to stop thinking ...

A.   24 May 2012: It sounds like you have a huge crush on your neighbour. You cant really be with him because like you say your both with other people. The best way to forget him is to not be near him, and focus your attention on other things like your hus... (read in full...)

What do I do about this man's sudden interest?

Q.   I am in the middle of a business venture, and I'm 16. While meeting with investors and some other people on a project, I met a man, married, who lives near me and wants to meet at some point. We talked briefly and he ended up driving me home. I ...

A.   24 May 2012: Well he could have an interest in you regarding business and pleasure. I personally advise to keep it professional and dont get closer to it than that. Its ok to be friends and have a business relationship but anything beyond is asking for trou... (read in full...)

Does he like me, or is this a fling?

Q.   Hello I'm amber,,just want to as something that really confusing my mind,.i met this guy for just week now and I really like him and I know him also,so we had a lunch and spend that day for whole night..hes really so gentle man and always send me ...

A.   24 May 2012: He says he will come back in september so that suggests he likes you. However you've only known him for a week so know you cant fully know his intentions. goodluck... (read in full...)

I've been having an affair for 2 years with a family friend. Should I tell the wife and my parents?

Q.   i m 22 years old and i guy i love is 44 and is married with 2 kids. we have been in a relationship for the past 3 years. initially when he started saying that he loves me i tried completely avoiding him but slowly he convinced me into falling in ...

A.   23 May 2012: Whats the point of confessing? It wont make you feel any better, your family will be disgusted and also more than likely his wife will forgive him (i know the culture) This man sounds like he has been using you (because no man truly in love... (read in full...)

I love a boy who doesn't know about my existence! What should I do?

Q.   I decided to write here because I really need help. I totally don't know what should I do. I will try to present my situation as best as I can, but English isn't my native language so sorry if there will be some difficulties in understanding me. ...

A.   23 May 2012: Dont worry, he does know you exist! If you do take the job in his grandfathers shop and see him; make conversation with him (but dont try to impress him because guys can see through that) so be natural , be yourself, talk about music (as he l... (read in full...)

Even though I try to help her I think my younger sister hates me

Q.   I am the 2nd sister of four and I believe my younger sister has secretely hated me over the years . I come from a dysfunctional home where we all had to be on our own at an early age , I had to go at 16yrs old . The sister that I thinks hates me ...

A.   23 May 2012: The first thing to realise is your sister doesnt hate you; its just your perception of her behavior. She could be behaving that way because she may find it hard to show her true feelings (since she like you had a tough upbringing, and may have fel... (read in full...)

I don't understand why I hate doing it but I love reading erotic stories.

Q.   Dear Cupid my problem is quite different. i like to read erotic stories, tried to watch some porn movies but didn't like it much. So basically i like sex, but when it comes to doing it, i don't like it at all, i mean i hate it. i wanted it to...

A.   21 May 2012: Your not a freak at all. You just like reading erotic stories, that is probably more of a turn on then actual sex. Enjoy it!... (read in full...)

How do you know if you're really loved?

Q.   How do y0u kn0w that y0u're realy l0ved in a relationship?...

A.   20 May 2012: Yes you shouldnt have doubts or ask questions of being loved if you are loved! Trust your gut instincts !... (read in full...)

Am I wrong not to buy my wife another vibrator?

Q.   Am I wrong not to buy my wife another vibrator? A few years ago I bought my wife a vibrator to spice things up in the bedroom. She was a bit hesitant at first but after a while she would regularly use it to finish herself off. As the months w...

A.   20 May 2012: Buy her a new one I say! A vibrator is helping her to climax quicker there is nothing wrong in it; you may feel insecure about the vibrator but thats really something you need to solve why is it you feel inadequate by a sex toy. Its not your... (read in full...)

How can I stay strong in my belief and not hurt him or disappoint him? I don't want to have sex for 2-3 years till we are married

Q.   I am 23 and my bf is 25. We are committed. But there is little uncertainty in getting married. We are quite close and it has become tough for us not to get physical. I mean, I personally want to wait until our marriage and I am unable to convince ...

A.   19 May 2012: If he loves you he will respect your decision to wait until you want to have sex. Its not wrong to have sex and its not wrong to have sex its totally your decision to do as you wish. 3 years is not so long if you waited so long anyway Goodluc... (read in full...)

My boyfriend called my phone but called me someone else's name??

Q.   Hi My bf fought with me couple of days back, because i called him twice when he was hanging out with his friends. After that I didn't call him and neither did he. Today he sent text, saying sorry for his shouting at me and i didn't resp...

A.   19 May 2012: Yeah speak to him find out why he called you some other name; that would bug me too! I know voicemails are pesky sometimes the message is not even clear when people leave them. I would confront him otherwise you will wonder. If you find out his... (read in full...)

I need to give him some space, but how?

Q.   Hello I must be some kind of a controlfreak, and I'm about to lose my boyfriend, whom I have been with for nine years now. I'll lose everything if I lose him, the house, the pets, everything I ever build with him. (I've been in this situation b...

A.   19 May 2012: What is it you have done to upset him? Because;depending on the nature of this problem the advice can be varied. Whatever it is you can apologise and respect his space by not being in his face so much so he can think it all over. Be prepared... (read in full...)

She's stopped talking to me. So should I break friendship with her or give her some time?

Q.   There is a girl ,she is used to be very good friend of mine. we both are in same class.she is not committed and neither i am. we chat regularly on our mobile phones when we are at home and regularly in class.But few months earlier she suddenly...

A.   19 May 2012: I think your friend has decided that she wishes to keep distance from you because of pressure from her friends; so you should respect this. You can be her friend but not so close as before. Respect her feelings if you care for her then the fig... (read in full...)

I'm hurt and I don't understand what went wrong!

Q.   Hello. I dumped someone I was dating for 2 years. I tried to be as nice to him, such as telling him it wasn't his fault, and that it was mine. However, there was quite a few things that WERE his fault. I just kept it all to myself, until he...

A.   19 May 2012: I think your ex is hurt you broke up with him and lied. This is why he doesnt trust you anymore. He needs his space and you guys need to move on. Goodluck!... (read in full...)

I fear my vagina isnt good enough for my boyfriend

Q.   So, my boyfriend and I have sexual relations. He isnt my first, and well I feel ashamed to have sex with him for that reason... We were watching this t.v show, with Wesley Snipes(black guy) and he was married to an Asian woman, they showed a scene ...

A.   18 May 2012: I think I agree with YouWish , your boyfriend is insecure and is taking it out on you by blaming your vagina!... (read in full...)

My hormones are raging like a wildfire!

Q.   My hormones are raging like a wildfire!!!I'm only 15 and why am i feeling this way..I'm so horny all the time and can't even stop from being that way. I feel like i need sex every freaking day. Does that make me a sex addict?...

A.   18 May 2012: Your not a sex addict, your normal! All teens have raging hormones most of the time.... (read in full...)

What can I do to finally make my boyfriend see that he needs to take some responsibility!

Q.   Help! What can I do to finally make my boyfriend see that he needs to take some responsibility! I have tried everything He works part-time, Between 3 and 4 days a week. I work part-time as well, but over 5 days. I start housework as soon as I get ...

A.   18 May 2012: He's obviously using you! he knows how mad it makes you leaving the house unclean yet he behaves like an immature kid and laughs. Its obvious you two are not compatible; It would drive me nuts to be with someone like that who does not he... (read in full...)

My boyfriend refused to marry me, so I have left him! was it a big mistake?

Q.   Hello! I left my boyfriend a few months months ago. He was a good person and I am sure we could have been together for much longer, even forever. Problem was, he refused to marry me (we'd been together for over 5 years) and after I insisted so ...

A.   18 May 2012: If he was a good guy and you two loved each other , then it wasnt a wise decision to take. However if you felt he made you feel worthless, and didnt take your feelings into consideration without him explaining his reasons then your totally ... (read in full...)

How can I save our relationship and make him trust me again?

Q.   I've lied to my partner for nearly 2 years now about my online activities, and after so many fights and break ups I finally came clean and told him the truth,(but still left out a few things as to not hurt his feelings). He did not and still won't ...

A.   17 May 2012: He needs time, his trust has been broken. In one end i can understand his lack of trust in you as you were going behind his back talking to these other guys in another I see how you feel as you did not *physically* cheat. Either way your h... (read in full...)

Does he really care or is he messing with me?

Q.   In high school I was apart of the theatre and stage crew. I met my tech director at 16 and he was 22. Technically he's an employee of the school district and I know that nothing could have happened while I was in school. Parents, students, ...

A.   17 May 2012: If he flirts around with you it could be attraction however he could be a little worried what people may think so he has not really pursued things. He has already said that he couldnt date you so that gives you his view on your relation... (read in full...)

He only gave me his number once he saw what car I was driving, should I call him or not?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I met this guy through a mutual friend at her birthday party. We danced several times at the party. When the party was over he said if I needed to get in touch with him I could from our mutual friend. As I was leaving the party he ...

A.   17 May 2012: If you have your doubts dont bother with him! trust your instincts! Goodluck.... (read in full...)

Since my parents argue all the time I've decided that I'll never be able to have a family of my own

Q.   Okay. Im from a family where parents always quarrel with one another, and there s nothing i can do about it. So ive been looking at my future alone the other day and something just came up in my mind that i cant have a family because having a family ...

A.   16 May 2012: Your friends right in a way because you are still young and sometimes you can decide things for yourself that later change... Remember just because your parents have a volatile relationship it doesnt mean you yourself will have the same type of... (read in full...)

How often should I call this girl?

Q.   There's this girl i met through my bro. She's his friend's sister. she's cool, beautiful, brilliant, has vision, we have a lot of things in common. I've been talking to her for a while and all of a sudden i started developing feelings for her. We ...

A.   16 May 2012: Treat her the same way you did before and get to know her. Ask her out for another walk since she enjoyed it. She will let you know in time if she is interested, im guessing as she enjoyed your walk it was a good experience for her. Take it ... (read in full...)

I have this urge to kiss him! Do I make a move or not?

Q.   Hi everyone I am hoping you can help me figure out what to do here with this little, er, problem. So i have this male friend and we're very close. The only problem is lately i have this urge to kiss him. I haven't done anything about it b...

A.   16 May 2012: Does he like you the same way... have you had the positive signs? if so kiss him!... (read in full...)

My first Love. Will I ever get over him? Is there someone else as good out there for me?

Q.   About a year and a half ago i started seeing a guy who turned into my first love. I was very inexperienced and everything was new to me. I know everybody says this, but it really did seem just perfect. we saw each for about 8 months, but broke up ...

A.   15 May 2012: The answer to your question is: Some Time Apart & Doing things you enjoy and taking your mind off this other person. This is ways which you can heal. Its not easy to get over and mend a heart. However we can accept it has happened... (read in full...)

How can I marry my fiance when he constantly ogles other women?

Q.   How can I marry my fiance when he constantly ogles other women? he swears I am ALL he wants and needs...I do not feel that way because despite all his promises to stop this disrespectful act it continues... time after time!!!!...

A.   15 May 2012: No dont marry him!! He makes you feel unrespected; thats not love!... (read in full...)

Should I be worried about this girl living with us? I have a trust issue!

Q.   Hello all, I'm in a bit of a tough spot right now. You see, I live with my wonderful fiance, we love each other to pieces, and we live with another roommate who happens to be my good friend. Well, things are not working out with our roommate...

A.   15 May 2012: Yes this is all about trust; you have your doubts but as the 3 of you all get along so well its bound to make you double think. If you feel deep down really uncomfortable about her moving in then dont do it! But if you totally can feel you can ... (read in full...)

I feel like my boyfriend is using me to get to his ex....

Q.   Me and my friend D have been together for about a month at this point now. We've been friends for 4 years now, and he used to be my bestfriend; but we drifted apart when he started dating a girl that he ended up being with for about 2 years. They ...

A.   15 May 2012: He could grab your hand and touch you; as a sign of reassurance when he see's his ex, not because he is trying to make her jealous. Then again it could be he does this out of spite; the best way to find out is ask him! Communication... (read in full...)

Teacher dating an ex pupil - is this possible?

Q.   Hey. I don't have a clue what to do. I'm in love with my ex-teacher. He is gorgeous (in my opinion, other girls didn't find him attractive) with lovely brown eyes, is kind and always makes me smile. He taught me in my first year of A-Levels, and it ...

A.   15 May 2012: This kind of relationship although challenging is possible. I knew of someone who left school and then dated her teacher, they got married and had a son and are still together even after 10 years! I do think that you should recognise thi... (read in full...)

Husband has lied in the past so am I wrong in not trusting him?

Q.   my husband went out of town officially and met an old female batchmate after years. he invited her for dinner as she wanted to meet another male friend. all three are married now. but i felt bad as i was informed only after they all met at venue. my ...

A.   14 May 2012: Your not over reacting. If your husband has lied to you before and not informed you of his activities now; its no wonder your angry. Talk to him and tell him how he makes you feel.... (read in full...)

My married love won't leave her husband but doesn't want to let go of me either

Q.   I am involved with a woman that is married and she says she is still madly in love with her husband but yet she says she has fallen in love with me. The chemistry between us started sometime around October 2011 in which she started saying things to ...

A.   14 May 2012: This lady is clearly just having her sexual fun with you and has no interest in leaving her husband for you. She also has no interest to *love* you completely, its too risky for her. ... (read in full...)

Trying to move on from a group of 'bad news' friends

Q.   Hello, I'm 15 years old boy and I live in england. I left a group of violent,pretty stupid 'friends' i used to have and i've started socialising with my friends from my own school and I really enjoy it. Just before I left them i called them all ...

A.   14 May 2012: If you have made new friends at your own school why do you still answer calls from these violent guys? If I was you i'd change my number and not contact them or answer their messages in future. why? because they seem to want to control and m... (read in full...)

Even after she cheated on me I still love her. should I let her go?

Q.   I hav been dating this girl for 6yrs nw.I luv her to a fault,more than i luv myself.Lately,she got pregnant 4 me bt had a miscarriage,we've been tryin 2 get another one.unfortunately,i got 2 know that she was havin an affair with her best friend's ...

A.   14 May 2012: Well first of all you cant trust her (because she cheated and again cheated with this other guy and lied to her own friend) and she cant trust you because you told her friend. From what you have said, I dont think you both are compatible a... (read in full...)

My mother is losing her mind!

Q.   My mother is losing her mind, literally. Last night when I went to work, she was sitting on the sofa, just staring at a blank space on the wall. I asked her if she was okay. She said she was. I then left. Eleven hours later, I'm back home and she's ...

A.   14 May 2012: I hope the appointment on monday goes well. Remember your doing all you can, providing patience and love to her is crucial. I know it is heartbreaking but deep down i think she is aware what is going on. For example; my grandma was ... (read in full...)

My mother is losing her mind!

Q.   My mother is losing her mind, literally. Last night when I went to work, she was sitting on the sofa, just staring at a blank space on the wall. I asked her if she was okay. She said she was. I then left. Eleven hours later, I'm back home and she's ...

A.   14 May 2012: I hope the appointment on monday goes well. Remember your doing all you cant, providing patience and love to her is crucial. I know it is heartbreaking but deep down i think she is aware what is going on. For example; my grandma was alwa... (read in full...)

My mother is losing her mind!

Q.   My mother is losing her mind, literally. Last night when I went to work, she was sitting on the sofa, just staring at a blank space on the wall. I asked her if she was okay. She said she was. I then left. Eleven hours later, I'm back home and she's ...

A.   13 May 2012: Im soooooo sorry your having to deal with this. I totally understand: the same thing happened with my grandma (who was like my mum) and its heartbreaking to see someone you love; totally unable to help themselves. In my situation my gra... (read in full...)

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