Like what
she writes?
... Add *tarlights to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *tarlights a private message | | | *tarlights's profile:What qualifies me to help people? I say its because i've met people from all walks of life, i've heard all the stories, ive even lived some incredible AND heart wrenching stories myself and I am not type to judge others.
In my spare time I enjoy reading, socializing and writing.
Remember no problem is too big that it cant be solved.
Be happy AND remember
there is a solution for everything!
|
|
| Latest articles: The Art of Being Happy!
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: The Art of Being Happy The key we have been given in this life which sets us apart from any creature living on this planet, is that as humans, we have free will to do good or bad. To ourselves or to others. Simply We have a choice. W...
|
How do you get over somebody cheating on you?
Q. How do you get over somebody cheating on you? My husband didn't really cheat on me, he just wrote to a woman and told her she was attractive and enjoyed the nude pictures she sent him. No matter how hard I try I just can't seem to get over it. ...
A. 15 July 2009: i think us girls all have our insecurity issues,
but your husband really did the dirty by doing that with the other women.
if your sticking with him u need to move away from all negative past,
& label urself as "classy" rather than a t... (read in full...)
My first time, how do I move during sex??
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a long time (well over a year now) and we've only just decided to have sex (we're both in our 20s but decided to wait until the time is right, which it is now!). However, I've never had sex and although he has ...
A. 15 July 2009: well they say experience maketh the maker..
so i'd say, once u sleep with him and gain that experience of sex u will come to know what u both like.
u dont need to thrust, (thats his job)
if your on top u need to go slow (with experience u ... (read in full...)
Does this sound like someone who has been sexually abused?
Q. So I have been dating this guy for a few months and I think he might have been sexually abused as a child. He just told me that he is not capable of loving someone in a romantic way, and only loves me as a friend. He also told me once that he will ...
A. 15 July 2009: you cant be sure he has been sexually abused unless u ask him.
i think he is taking things slow with u becoz he doesnt want to end up hurting u, the other women in his past were just flings and the sex was easy.
with u it would be more, becoz y... (read in full...)
I am super paranoid about my boyfriend spending one night at his friend's place
Q. Do I have something to worry about or are my friends just trying to get things into my head? Ok, so my boyfriend is hanging out with his buddies this weekend..it's one of the guys B-day. :) Anyways, he said that he might drive out Friday after wor...
A. 15 July 2009: you need to let him go and trust him.
whats the point in being together if u dont trust him?
u cant keep him under lock & key and its his friends birthday so dont listen to what your friends say, u shud know ur bf better than them.
good lu... (read in full...)
I obviously have fallen for one of my friends, but I'm confused for some reason
Q. A few months ago, my friend introduced me to some of her other mates. They are all girls, except one. He is really small and sweet. I know a boy would hate to be called that, but its true. I took a liking to him cause of his energy. He's always so ...
A. 15 July 2009: its normal to like someone after u fall out of love with someone else, but dont do a rebound relationship.
take your time with this guy and things will work out.
good luck!... (read in full...)
I want to study abroad, but it costs a lot
Q. hello ppl i`m a21 years old egyptian guy studying engineering here in egypt .. my whole life dream was and still is to study abroad in uk us or canada .. i dont like the egyptian educating system i prephare american system better as i was studying ...
A. 15 July 2009: no for scholorships u dont need experience.
Check out www.articlesbase.com/.../foreign-students-wishing-to-study-in-the-uk-454992.html
u need to decide what course, your finances, what uni to apply for, all these things u need to think abou... (read in full...)
Do you just know when you love someone?
Q. how do you know when you love someone? i broke off with this girl a month ago cuz i was nt sure about my feelings for her and asked for some time...i am struggling to know whether i love her ot not ...she was one of a kind who loved me from all her ...
A. 15 July 2009: love means different things to everybody but u should know if u love her.
there's so many different forms of love (for a mum, friend, sister , brother) this cud fall into any category!
however u dont sound so passionate about her, so to me it... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant, and I need his love and support...but he's not giving it to me
Q. Hi I'm pregnant for 23 weeks and married for about 6 months now. Before marrying we knew each other for 6 years I knew he was already married but yet i decided to marry him because of his love and since childhood i was away with this affection. ...
A. 15 July 2009: this husband of yours wont change so its upto you to change your life for the better.
you have a baby coming , try and live for the baby now, and gain your energy from that.
good luck!... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who was the wrong star sign?
Q. would you avoid dating someone that was the wrong starsign? im seeing a man whose supposed to bethe worst match for me yet we love each other to bits, yet i keep thinking if we were together full time we wouldnt work..any views on this?...
A. 15 July 2009: no dont take star signs too seriously!
my husbands an aries and im a gemini, apparantly we're not good matched but we get on very well !
& one of my good friends is cancer (altho we're not supposed to get on either) as is my other friend a c... (read in full...)
I went to far with my adoptive sister while drunk and now she hates me
Q. i cant believe im doing this, but here goes. Well, when i was 5, my dad was an alcoholic. He killed himself after he killed my mom. A year after the funeral i was adopted. I guess my childhood memories made me who i am right now. Im an alcoholic, im ...
A. 15 July 2009: she obviously is shocked and disapointed by what happened.
i think saying sorry isnt enough, u need to start making changes in your life, becoz going down this route of hell wont help you.
u shud use your sister as a inspiration to m... (read in full...)
I want to study abroad, but it costs a lot
Q. hello ppl i`m a21 years old egyptian guy studying engineering here in egypt .. my whole life dream was and still is to study abroad in uk us or canada .. i dont like the egyptian educating system i prephare american system better as i was studying ...
A. 15 July 2009:
you can easily get a scholarship & they will fund you.
for example in the UK where i am, it has many financial aid and scholarship programs!
its not too hard if u research into it.
good luck!... (read in full...)
I obviously have fallen for one of my friends, but I'm confused for some reason
Q. A few months ago, my friend introduced me to some of her other mates. They are all girls, except one. He is really small and sweet. I know a boy would hate to be called that, but its true. I took a liking to him cause of his energy. He's always so ...
A. 15 July 2009: it sounds as if you really like him, but get to know him better as friends and take it from there.
enjoy your time together & dont rush anything.
he will let u know if he has deeper feelings for u in time too.
good luck!... (read in full...)
I should tell her how I feel now, but for some reason, I believe it's not the right time
Q. Okay, well first off I'd like to tell my story. Me and this girl have met up about three years ago in a game and ever since we've been talking to each other. I just dated her cousin beforehand though (online) but after we broke up I started ...
A. 15 July 2009: its really something u need to decide for yourself, becoz she is going through a tough time and if you tell her it might be at a bad time.
i probably wait a bit, till things calm down in her life before u say anything.
good luck!... (read in full...)
I have fallen for my straight friend
Q. hello im a gay male thats have fallen for a straight guy that i work with.im truly is like confussed bout our freind ship i really thank hes want to try me out lol ill get to the reason why i say that is he always playing around with me like hitting ...
A. 15 July 2009: this other guy sounds like he is into you.
the way he fools around suggests he's flirting with u.
you already made your feelings clear to him, if he wants to go further he will let u know when he's ready.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend flirts with other women, comes home to me but I am paranoid
Q. Ok heres is my issue. My boyfriend is a very well liked person. He is always flirting with other girls and things like that. I know this is wrong but I have a password of his and I do use it to check up on him. But he is writing girls telling them ...
A. 15 July 2009: Your bf is really pushing it too far when he is writing to other girls and calling them sexy.
he is trying to encourage other women towards him and it only takes one woman to say yes and he may cheat.
if he doesnt understand your feelings to... (read in full...)
What does his eagerness to keep contact mean?
Q. I was with my boyfriend for a year and we made the huge mistake of living together to early and about a month ago we started fighting and i moved out. After i moved out things got a bit rough but we still managed to talk a and see each other ...
A. 13 July 2009: it sounds like he is unsure of his decision if he's acting like this. he might be needy, but if your broken up he shouldnt be telling u these things like he misses u, thats just rubbing salt to the wounds. dont listen to his talks. he's made u... (read in full...)
I left and now I'm beginning to think I made the wrong decision
Q. Right about 4 months ago I got a temp job at home, having just returned from abroad. Not thinking that I was settling down at all or making any friends I decided to leave again in the summer. Because I didn't want to let my boss down, I said that an ...
A. 13 July 2009: if u dont feel happy, return to your home!!! money is nothing compared to happiness, and u might have missed out on this guy, and ur missing your friends and family. u can always return again if u wish too, but maybe now isnt the right time fo... (read in full...)
I love him but it's not mutual, how can I reconnect with him?
Q. I really love this guy, but the feelings are not mutual. I haven't seen in a long time, but my feelings for him are growing stronger, and I believe he is worth it. How do I initiate conversation? How do I know that he wants to be my friend?...
A. 13 July 2009: if he doesnt know u, then how can u hope to start a relation with him?
personally if i like someone, and i think he is worth it, i would make myself known to him, ...somehow find a way of getting his attention (in a good way) to get him talking ... (read in full...)
Did he disrespect me or was it just because he was drunk?
Q. dear cupid i have a friend and we are both married,he is aso my workmate.he is good ,friendly but a little bit fond of girls.one night my husband was not around and i attended a party,wi and my friend got drunk but just moderate.he gave me a ride ...
A. 13 July 2009: maybe he got too drunk and tried it on with u, it is a sign of disrespect.
u have to think do u want to remain friends with someone like that? or will u explain u didnt like it when u see him, and hope he doesnt do it again?
if he is fond of gi... (read in full...)
He cheated, will these feelings go away?
Q. Dear cupid.... I have been with my partner for 5 years. About two years ago I found out that he had had phone sex with another girl, I found out by snooping (not by him telling me). When he was confronted he was extremely upset, all tears and sai...
A. 13 July 2009: if u are feeling slightly doubtful about this relationship, it suggests to me that u still dont totally trust him, this denial has caused u to have the physical reaction of pulling away from him physically.
he did wrong by cheating and u forgave ... (read in full...)
Having trouble choosing between the two girls that like me...Help!
Q. I am just an everage guy but recently I have had these two girls come on to me and i like them both. One has messed me around a little bit but i like her more, but the other girl genuinely cares about me! I have no idea who to choose. Please help.....
A. 13 July 2009: choose the one who genuinely u care about... becoz its obvious the one u really over like isnt going to change her ways too soon. good luck!!!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been having sex with me whilst I'm asleep
Q. i really need help! my boyfriend has been having sex with me whilst im asleep. i should explain that i have a medical heart condition that makes me faint quite a lot it also makes me very tired so i have extra naps during the day to prevent b...
A. 13 July 2009: no this isnt normal, usaully a guy doesnt just jump on u whilst ur sleeping and he's awake, and take advantage of u in a vulnerable position.
if u dont trust him how can u progress any further with this relationship?
i think if u think he's ... (read in full...)
He left his girlfriend but seems more distant to me now..
Q. In May, I asked the following question on this site http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-sweet-and-lovely-and-caring-and-cheating.html. After people's advice the man I asked the question about dumped his girlfriend...was a real suprise to me asw...
A. 13 July 2009: your saying u dont want to lose him, but if u think he's seeing another woman, surely u lost him already?
do u really want to be in a relationship like this? where he come's and goes as he pleases? and txts when he pleases?
i think u should r... (read in full...)
I feel physically sick, he's not the man I married!
Q. i have been married for the last 15 years to a much older guy.at first we were the ideal couple and to be honest we never argued much.but lately i can't seem to shake off this unsettledness feeling.He spends more and more time at work,complains he ...
A. 13 July 2009: to be honest if ur not happy, u have to talk to him about ur feelings,
if ultimately things dont change & he doesnt appreciate u as he shud, then i think if u feel strong enough and happier to go it alone then do it!... (read in full...)
Will my husband-to-be know I'm not a virgin?
Q. i had sex with my boyfriend... but i am going to marry with someone else as my family is forcing me......my bf is really ok with my decision to marry someoneelse...... will my to be husband come to know that i am not virgin......... please help......
A. 13 July 2009: yes when ur husband sleeps with u he will know ur not a virgin becoz u wont bleed and he may feel the difference.
its best if u be honest, otherwise u can risk him being hurt and cause bigger drama in the family.
good luck
... (read in full...)
Is he serious or just joking?
Q. My boyfriend of a year and a half has, in the past, said multiple times that my friends are wh*res, n*ggers, and handfuls of other derogatory names because of some threat that they pose to him. I am not friends with bad people, I am not friends...
A. 13 July 2009: your bf is not a good character at all.
i know u love him but can u live the whole of your life without having decent friends just becoz ur bf is jealous, yes i said jealous , of these people's success?
he isnt worth it, either put him straight... (read in full...)
How do I approach her about her unwanted sexual advances?
Q. I've got a problem and I don't really know how to handle it. Last week, a female co-worker came on to me. We've been good friends since I started working there three years ago and I had no idea that she was attracted to me. She came round to my ...
A. 13 July 2009: why dont u email/ msg her and tell her u want to talk to her about what happened?
arrange a meeting or even talk on the fone (if u have privacy) outside of work, and find out what the issue was becoz one of u obviously got their wires crossed.... (read in full...)
I split my foreskin - will this cause future problems for me?
Q. Hi, I had sex firt time n while having the sex my pennies stared bleeding and my forskin slept upward and its very painful it took me long time to get back to its orignal place does this will cause me any promblem and will it happened again if i hav...
A. 13 July 2009: u need to see the doctor about this, becoz it could become infected.
good luck!... (read in full...)
Why did he change his mind so quickly about me??
Q. I had a big big question that i cant ever think the solution is...well im a single mom and last summer i met a guy (devorce)..so we a had a very serious realtion for almost a year but suddenly he change his mind so quickly...he loves me and so do i, ...
A. 13 July 2009: u didnt do anything wrong.
he seems like a bad guy if he just leaves u for another woman.
a good guy wouldnt do such a nasty thing.
the best thing u can do is concentrate on being with ur child until a nice guy comes along and respects... (read in full...)
He left his girlfriend but seems more distant to me now..
Q. In May, I asked the following question on this site http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-sweet-and-lovely-and-caring-and-cheating.html. After people's advice the man I asked the question about dumped his girlfriend...was a real suprise to me asw...
A. 13 July 2009: u really need to ask him where u stand with him.
communication is key here.
u wont know unless u explain to him that u need to see him more than once a week, if he doesnt respect ur feelings or doesnt make an effort to reach a compromise, seri... (read in full...)
Condom split and her mom would kill me if she's pregnant!
Q. Hello there, Me and my GF are both 18 and we had sex the other day and the condom split and I 'cummed' in her. She is worried now and so am I about her being pregnant. She tells me that she is bleeding downstairrs and she always feels sick in th...
A. 13 July 2009: well i think its a bit too late to take the morning after pill...
i think u need to wait it out til her next period is due, if she misses her period she needs to do a test and if she is pregnant u need to decide whether to keep it and have her... (read in full...)
It feels like my life is over now that MJ is gone
Q. Hey,My name is Kate, And well,Ever since Michael Jackson Died..ive been really down! I was such a huge fan, and grew up listening to his music!.. He was such an inspiration to me!.. And i thought he was gorgeoues back the 70s and early 80s!:) I...
A. 11 July 2009: my dear your perfectly normal.
im 28 years old, married, but when MJ died i cried too! i felt like that dorky 10 yr old kid who noone liked and all my childhood memories came flooding back.
a friend at work aged 50 yrs old cried and alot o... (read in full...)
Partner has become extremely jealous
Q. i've been with my partner for nearly 3 years. things are pretty great at first but after some time, he's jealousy starts kicking in. he became paranoid, and cannot stand if i was even talking to a guy in uni. he can't stand if i have male partners ...
A. 11 July 2009: i think u need to talk to him, or break up becoz this type of jealousy and control and u lying to him is not on.
why does he get like this? has he had a bad experience before?
u need to explain to him u are faithful to him and he has to let u ... (read in full...)
Should I be doing something differently?
Q. My fiancee and I have been together for 6 years. We met online in 2003 and I moved in with her in 2005. We have an 18month old baby. Recently, in the past 6 months, she has been having stress related health issues. Whenever she becomes overly ...
A. 11 July 2009: first of all i must commend u for being a top husband and father!
not a lot of men could have coped having an ill wife along with working and coping with a child, so i must say u r a very good man!
in this situation i think it'd be good if ... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend to be with me 24/7..is that ok?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 6 months now, he lives with his older brother while I live at home with my parents. He is really good when it comes to calling me everyday to tell me what he's doing. He tells me that he loves me but that he also ...
A. 11 July 2009: yes my dear u are too possessive and sensitive.
a healthy relationship is one which he gives u time, and he gives his friend/family/ time.
its only fair.
u cant expect him to be with u 24/7 and not have a life of his own.
if he makes ... (read in full...)
What are people's views on dating a third cousin?
Q. hi, i recently got back in touch with my third cousin. we're both 19 and related through blood. every year when i was born i would spend a week up north with my cousin and we grew up together really close.we used to kiss under his duvet when we ...
A. 11 July 2009: in some places around the world its perfectly legal to marry your cousin so i wouldnt worry about it.
yes the chances of faulty genetics passing thru onto kids is greater, but there's a risk in everything.
weigh up how much he means to u and d... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose my family but I'm not happy in the relationship
Q. hi, i need your help/advice im in a relationship have been for seven years we have two children, this is my problem, i love my partner to bits but theres another man that i really like i think i maybe falling in love with him!! i dont want t...
A. 11 July 2009: well ur in a no win situation here.
if u stay with ur husband and not work things out then ur unhappy.
if u go with this other guy and that doesnt work out u still wont be happy.
im afraid ur going to have to have a long think about what ... (read in full...)
Am I too nervous? Or just not ready for a relationship?
Q. Ok i am like 20 y/o and i wanna know is it normal to be able to talk to a female, on msn/yahoo/aim/games/phone easier than talking upfront to em? i get all nervous while even being near a female, sometimes i have tears coming down my face but i do ...
A. 11 July 2009: yes its always easier to talk to the opposite sex via the net, fone, msn, and always harder in reality ;)
u probably get these feeling of anxiety becoz ur not used to talking to girls much in a face to face situation.
to get rid of this anxi... (read in full...)
She never calls or texts first
Q. Well here's my scenario... ive been with the girlfriend for six months, i went away on holiday for 2 weeks a month back. I called, i told her how much i missed her and that I couldn't wait to see her. We met up as soon as I got back and she was ...
A. 11 July 2009: she probably hasnt called or text becoz she has alot going on in her life at the moment.
have u tried talking to her?
have u asked why she doesnt initiate the texts first?
it can help u both if u open up with each other at this tough time... (read in full...)
I vented my frustration with him to my friends, and he read what I wrote! I'm afraid I won't be able to fix this.
Q. Recently my boyfriend and I have been discussing the question about whether to stay together when I leave for college. I found him distant and avoiding when the question came up; he was also answering my texts every 5-10 hours and completely ...
A. 10 July 2009: Yes he will get over this in time if you support him.
it takes time to heal a hurt, though he may not forget it, if he loves u he will in time forgive you for this.
good luck!... (read in full...)
I have been told my b/f met another girl while I was away, what to do about this?
Q. hey im 15 and ive being with my boyfriend for 3 months i went on holidays about two weeks ago ...when i got back one of me mates told me he had met someone else ..it had to be the girl i hate most ..because she done this to me and my last boyfriend ...
A. 9 July 2009: well firstly u dont know he has done anything.
u need to ask him direct if anything has happened between him & the other girl and take it from there.
dont always believe rumours unless its backed with evidence or from someone u can totally tr... (read in full...)
| *tarlights's friends
These are mutual friends, so *tarlights has
added them and they have added *tarlights!
|
