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... Send *tarlights a private message | | | *tarlights's profile:What qualifies me to help people? I say its because i've met people from all walks of life, i've heard all the stories, ive even lived some incredible AND heart wrenching stories myself and I am not type to judge others.
In my spare time I enjoy reading, socializing and writing.
Remember no problem is too big that it cant be solved.
Be happy AND remember
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| Latest articles: The Art of Being Happy!
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: The Art of Being Happy The key we have been given in this life which sets us apart from any creature living on this planet, is that as humans, we have free will to do good or bad. To ourselves or to others. Simply We have a choice. W...
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My mother is losing her mind!
Q. My mother is losing her mind, literally. Last night when I went to work, she was sitting on the sofa, just staring at a blank space on the wall. I asked her if she was okay. She said she was. I then left. Eleven hours later, I'm back home and she's ...
A. 14 May 2012: I hope the appointment on monday goes well.
Remember your doing all you can, providing patience and love to her is crucial.
I know it is heartbreaking but deep down i think she is aware what is going on.
For example; my grandma was ... (read in full...)
My mother is losing her mind!
Q. My mother is losing her mind, literally. Last night when I went to work, she was sitting on the sofa, just staring at a blank space on the wall. I asked her if she was okay. She said she was. I then left. Eleven hours later, I'm back home and she's ...
A. 14 May 2012: I hope the appointment on monday goes well.
Remember your doing all you cant, providing patience and love to her is crucial. I know it is heartbreaking but deep down i think she is aware what is going on.
For example; my grandma was alwa... (read in full...)
If I go back to my first love will it be a mistake?
Q. Hello, i am going to be 22 soon. I was with my ex bf for 1 year 3months, we split 9months ago. Reality was his negatives were gradually after telling his family about me, he wouldn't make that much effort and when he went to india on holiday he wo...
A. 13 May 2012: Yes its normal to feel that this new guy is not like your relationship with your ex, because quiet simply he is another guy; with another type of personality. So you will never love both these guys the same way.
Dont feel bad for it: its simply s... (read in full...)
My mother is losing her mind!
Q. My mother is losing her mind, literally. Last night when I went to work, she was sitting on the sofa, just staring at a blank space on the wall. I asked her if she was okay. She said she was. I then left. Eleven hours later, I'm back home and she's ...
A. 13 May 2012: Im soooooo sorry your having to deal with this.
I totally understand: the same thing happened with my grandma (who was like my mum) and its heartbreaking to see someone you love; totally unable to help themselves.
In my situation my gra... (read in full...)
I had a huge fight with my crush!
Q. Earlier I had a huge fight with my crush. He vented to some of his friends and of course the girls (especially his friend Emily, that I think likes him) took his side. They act super protective of him and Emily has done and said things to try to ...
A. 13 May 2012: Yes i would go!
Show these bullies that they cant dictate who you can/ cant speak too.
I've been in your position when i was at school: stand your ground (i know its tough); dont be scared of them and dont let them ruin your fun :)
... (read in full...)
If I go back to my first love will it be a mistake?
Q. Hello, i am going to be 22 soon. I was with my ex bf for 1 year 3months, we split 9months ago. Reality was his negatives were gradually after telling his family about me, he wouldn't make that much effort and when he went to india on holiday he wo...
A. 13 May 2012: I know families play a big role in this culture; so it would be difficult for you if you went back to him since his family will never totally be accepting of you.
As you said his family dislike you.
Your ex bf has also done things that have... (read in full...)
Erection when hugging/kissing my girlfriend
Q. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 months now, and the last couple times we've taken the time to say goodbye on her front porch before I leave her house we've spend a lot of time hugging and kissing goodbye and even just talking ...
A. 13 May 2012: Its completely normal to get an erection when you kiss your girlfriend your aroused.
I really dont think she thinks your a pervert; more like a natural functioning male :)
... (read in full...)
Pregnancy obsession on my DAUGHTER - NOOOOO!!!!
Q. I caught my boyfriend of 5.5 yrs (really a part of my family), surprised him at his house(where I never go) jacking off to recent pictures of my newly pregnant daughter. He had gone into my computer and copied pictures that she had sent to ME of her ...
A. 13 May 2012: Yes good riddance indeed!!
You did the right thing. The man cant be trusted.... (read in full...)
I noticed that my boyfriend calls one of his female friends crazy names! Should I be worried?
Q. Hi, I noticed that my boyfriend calls one of his female friends crazy names, its on texts - she has a boyfriend and they are all friends too. He calls he things like 'gizz guzzler' 'rug muncher' and i cant even remember what else i saw. She ca...
A. 13 May 2012: These texts he sends to this girl , to me sounds friendly.
Sometimes friends of mine call me crazy names; and vice versa in msgs; it suggests friendship/connection/bond.
Of course if you find anything sexy then of course be worried; but in ... (read in full...)
I'm already insecure and boyfriend likes to wind me up
Q. I cant stop my way of thinking and its going to end up killing my relationship and probably destroy myself in the process. I have the greatest bf ever, he is the one I know Im going to end up marrying, we've talked about it and everything betwe...
A. 13 May 2012: Your definately right; your bf is not helping the situation. He already knows you have self esteem issues and picking up magazines or movies and pointing out other ladies being *more attractive* is not funny.
It's bullying in a way.
He does... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin but all I can think about is just sex, sex, sex. Is this normal?
Q. i'm a virgin but all i can think about is just sex, sex, sex. every single day! is that normal seeing as i don't even know what it's like? i don't even know how to set about getting it! i seriously need some advice. oh and i'm turning 22 in a few ...
A. 13 May 2012: Thinking about sex is normal.
Being a virgin is normal.
So on both counts its normal ;)
Have you tried dating yet, or are you shy?
There is nothing wrong being 22 and a virgin.
... (read in full...)
It bothers me the way that my b/f connects with women
Q. My boyfriend is a very outgoing person and he loves to meet new people. When we go out, he'll often be very friendly to the waitress and get to know her or it could be anyone that is new among a group of existing friends. But more often that not, it ...
A. 12 May 2012: It does sound like your insecure; but thats the way he is. He cant change his style of being to accomodate you; but he should know that his approach with women makes you feel uneasy and less secure.
Does your bf make you feel loved and cherishe... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has a SIGNIFICANTLY lower sex-drive than me
Q. I've been dating this woman for 3 years, and I love everything about her very much. All except one thing, she has an extremely low sex-drive. Where I would be content with 1-2 times a week at LEAST, we're currently having sex every 6-7 weeks, and ...
A. 12 May 2012: I dont think she can have a low sex drive and then have casual sex *like no tommorow* with someone else.
Something doesnt add up there!
Either she doesnt fancy you or she is depressed.
You have to clearly communicate your feeling... (read in full...)
My partner left his wife to be with me so I got what I wanted in the end, but I cant stop feeling horrible about what we did....
Q. I worked as a nanny for a family with a infant son for the past 2 1/2 years. "Lisa" the mom was a workaholic who loved her social life when she wasnt working, "Rick" the father was very good looking and he knew it and would playfully flirt with ...
A. 11 May 2012: Its hard to say if you will ever stop feeling guilty over the way it happened and how you and Rick both got together.
Of course the actions have hurt his wife, and son, so its no wonder you feel terrible.
It depends on how much you want to make... (read in full...)
He calls me his 'wife' when talking to his friends, but has never met my parents or even suggested marriage to me! Am I wasting my time with him?
Q. Hi everyone, my bf and i, have been dating for 4years now, we love, respect and understand each other totally. He is 32, i'm 25. He introduces me to friends as his wife, although he has never met wit my parents or even suggested it. He talks abt us ...
A. 11 May 2012: Is he ready for marriage? Sounds like he will marry you when he is ready and not rush it!... (read in full...)
In love with my cousin but she has a boyfriend, what should I do?
Q. I am in love with my cousin she lives with us i want to tell her but she has a boyfriend. i really want her she is 19 and i am 18 i really don't know what 2 do?...
A. 11 May 2012: She has a boyfriend who she is with, and she is your cousin, do you really want to potentially risk losing her friendship?
... (read in full...)
I'm stuck in a very difficult decision, should I call the cops on this guy?
Q. This may not be a sex related or relationship based question, it's actually a family issue and perhaps this isn't the right place to ask about this, I just find this site to be the quickest to get a response and I'm not obligated to register like on ...
A. 11 May 2012: From what you've written; your sister is already on a disaster slope; and unless she really WANTS TO GET OUT OF THIS , there is nothing anyone can do to help her.
She must want to change herself (like seriously mean it, not just say it) because alot... (read in full...)
He is draining me of energy with his constant need of attention!
Q. Been dating my boyfriend for 4 months now, we are both in our 40s, I have children but he doesn't. We live in different towns around 30 mins drive away. I would say we see each other around 3-4 times a week depending on his football plans. ...
A. 10 May 2012: Why are you with him if he makes you feel so miserable and he's draining?
sounds like your better off alone.... (read in full...)
Is it legal to marry a muslim turk and have christian kids ?
Q. Am with this turkish guy for 8 months now and am just crazy about him I love him like hell, we pretty much talk about everything but when I read some of the answers regarding the question " my turkish man wants to be with me ... " I've had some ...
A. 10 May 2012: It is legal for a muslim to marry a christian.
The children (as i know it by law) will follow the faith of the father 97% of all cases... however if the man is open minded the children could follow (the mothers faith).
Its very patronis... (read in full...)
Should I take a step further with this guy?
Q. I've been dating a guy for over a month and I really like him, I believe he reciprocates and feel very with him. The other day I was talking over the phone with him and something funny happend. We're Spanish, and there is a smaller level of saying I ...
A. 10 May 2012: Its hard to say to be honest!
His intentions are not clear by that telephone call.
Dont say anything like *te quiero* until he makes himself more clear.
goodluck!... (read in full...)
Do women like rough skinned hands?
Q. Hi guys,I would like to be consulted about this thing. Recently, I'm into workout with the technique, bar pull-ups. My palms and fingers seems very roughen, coarser with some rash and blister, totally very rough. But I really like my palm like that ...
A. 7 May 2012: Rough skin hands can be attractive and not attractive, it depends on the lady!
I suggest using/carrying a hand moisturiser if you are out dating the ladies, as soft hands are desirable.
Goodluck!... (read in full...)
How do I fix it, I kissed another girl!
Q. Well I messed up pretty good last night and need some advice. I've been with my gf for 7 months. I love her with all my heart. When we're together there's no where else I would rather be or with. I went out last night with some buds and got ...
A. 7 May 2012: Apologise x 10000,00000, 000 times
Other than that, not much you can do to *fix* it.
Your gf says her trust in you has broken, so she will always have her doubts in whatever you say. Be prepared for that.
She may want you to work hard at earn... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do, I cant get a girl!
Q. I'm a 19 year old male. I have come to the conclusion, that I am a disease. No matter where I look, I can't get a girl. What the hell, I am really starting to get sick of this. I have tried everything. I have been using online dating sites called ...
A. 7 May 2012: Your not a disease, dozens of people have this problem!
You should thank your lucky stars they ignore you, who would want to date anyone who behaves like that?
You will not be alone forever.
My guess is that the people who you msg for d... (read in full...)
What are your thoughts on opposite sex room mates?
Q. My long distance boyfriend wants to move in with a female roommate his age (he's never met her, he found her on craigslist). I'm trying to be cool with it, but for some reason I'm kind of having trouble with it. On the one hand I do trust him, but ...
A. 7 May 2012: I think you should air your concerns with him.
Its not *controlling* to let him know how you feel!
Letting him know how you feel is being communicative not controlling and as he is your bf he has a right to know your feelings on the subject m... (read in full...)
Careless? Bad memory? He is a good friend. But is he being weird?
Q. I'm Korean Canadian and my ex-bf is Korean. We met in Canada and dated for 6 months. Then he accepted a job offer and moved back to Korea. We maintained a long distance relationship for another 6 months. Then my family and I went to Korea as we do...
A. 3 May 2012: Its hard to diagnose over the internet.
It could me medical, mental, or him just being a careless guy.
He probably does care enough to be your friend.
You should probably ask a few more questions and find out if he was pretending.
It mi... (read in full...)
I feel like I've been cheated out of a happily ever after
Q. I am a very devoted wife. I cook daily for my husband, try to have sex with him daily, I even surprise my husband with lingerie, or cleaning house in the nude, but he never takes interest. When my husband and I dated he was a totally different guy, ...
A. 3 May 2012: If your not happy and feel cheated by his dishonesty tell him!
Being married doesnt mean happily ever after and people can change. Some get worse.
The thing is you guys are meant to *grow* together or you fall apart. He seems to have his own agen... (read in full...)
He spent the night and had sex with me. Now nothing! How should I act when I see him next?
Q. I'll try to be brief : he was very interested came on strong said all the right things / I made him wait / so now that we spent a night together and sex // haven't heard anything from him !! It hurts and I need to know how to get past it and how ...
A. 3 May 2012: When you say you havent heard anything from him... how long has it been? did you msg him and he hasnt responded?
(its not clear and determines how you should behave).
Generally speaking from the info you gave; i'd act as if i am unaffected, ... (read in full...)
Am I losing my best friend or am I over reacting?!
Q. My best friend doesn't really act like it anymore, she doesn't talk to me as much as she used to. We have been best friends for a while. A couple months ago this girl started hanging out with us, she is friends with my best friend but I don't like...
A. 3 May 2012: Well it sounds like your bestfriend has this other girl as a bestfriend too, so it could be she's enjoying her other friends company over yours.
If your bestfriend is your bestfriend you could never lose her over her choosing another person, ... (read in full...)
How long did it take you to say I love you?
Q. Sorry in advance- this is a really random problem... I've been going out with my boyfriend for about 2 months now and from very early on he said 'I love you'. The thing is, I see 'I love you' as something which is quite serious and because of that, ...
A. 3 May 2012: Well it depends on you.
Say it when you mean it.
Thats what I do.
I never say to my boyfriend *i love you* all the time.
Just on times that i really mean it.
If you love him let him know, dont waste a moment :)
If he loves you he'll und... (read in full...)
My boyfriend smokes weed and I don't know what to do...
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for just over 2 years now. He lives 2 hours away from me and we have had a generally good long distance relationship. He smoked cigarettes and weed when we started to get close, I told him I wasn't ...
A. 2 May 2012: If your uncomfy with the whole weed thing; then stop seeing him.
Dont put yourself around something you dont like.
Its your personal preference, and that thing does stink ;)
Personally from experience, people just get stoned on weed and r... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my LDR b/f ever try to talk to me or cheer me up?
Q. i am in a long distance relationship with a man who isnt working and does his own business.but i call him everyday. sometimes i feell low and need him to uplift me or atleast chat to me when i call but i talk and he doesnt say much. sometimes i ...
A. 2 May 2012: Its not his job to make you happy; he probably has his own issues and probably doesnt know what to say to you under pressure.
Cant blame him for that, least he asks how you are and makes some effort :)
I do agree, you need a man who makes yo... (read in full...)
Would writting a letter to a guy you like be considered doing too much?
Q. Would writting a letter to a guy you like be considered doing too much? The guy I have liked is moving away and I want to give him a letter expressing my wishes for him, but I'm have some doubts about doing that. I was also thinking of including a ...
A. 2 May 2012: Writing a letter is not considered way too much.
Depends how much you like him and want to show your care.
If he's worth a letter, do it ;)
another idea could be, writing something in a farewell card. Thats cute too.
a mix cd is a great i... (read in full...)
His inlaws hate me, should I buy a house with him?
Q. Hi every one. I'm dating a guy that I love so much my problem is that my in laws don't love me reason being which is I don't know of. He earns less than me and we about to buy a house and I'm scared if I'm going to be the one who is going to pay it ...
A. 2 May 2012: There is a chance you could be paying out for it.
If I was you I wouldnt buy anything with this guy until he has some money of his own to fund it.
... (read in full...)
This guy has a girlfriend,Is it bad that I have feelings for this guy?
Q. Early in February, I was seeing a man who is about 8 years my senior and I like him a lot. We hit it off very well. I felt that we were on a road to a relationship. I guess he was thinking otherwise. We were seeing each other for almost a month and ...
A. 2 May 2012: Stop txting him and/or change your number.
Delete his.
He has another woman whome he chose to be with, he's just using you! Dont take crap and give him all the control,
stop responding.... (read in full...)
Does my ex still like me? advice please
Q. My ex girlfriend, who is dating my ex best friend at the time, has returned to my life off and on for the past 3 months. She claims she always comes back because she cares about me, and feels that she needs to talk to me. We talk everyday, all day ...
A. 2 May 2012: Yes it sounds like she still likes you!... (read in full...)
Hungarian girl wanted me to 'sign documents' for her, I said no and she hasn't spoken to me since!
Q. I went for a drink with a Hungarian girl a couple of weeks ago, we went out, had a good time, I walked her back to her flat. We chat on Facebook Chat, everything was going well, until yesterday, when I got a Chat message asking if I could sign doc...
A. 30 April 2012: She see's you as a vulnerable target, so be careful.... (read in full...)
I cant trust my bestfriend anymore, should I end our friendship?
Q. My bestfriend and I have been friends for about 7 years now.. I love her very much and I know that she loves me, but for the past year its been seeming like everything has become a competition with her. It drives me crazy because I feel like I can't ...
A. 30 April 2012: Aww this problem is common.
Firstly your bestfriends competitive nature is due to her own insecurities, she probably feels your way better than her and the need to out do you.
There is a whole clash going on.
However they do say imitation is... (read in full...)
How do I win my girlfriends heart completely?
Q. have been dating my girlfriend for the past 5months n we seem going on very well.am the type of person who always like to chat with her but it seems she is the exact opposite of me..she never mind not talking to me the whole day and even if she does ...
A. 30 April 2012: If she says she loves you, Why do you find it hard to trust her?
the way i see things; we are all different. We all show our love in different ways.
Just because one person doesnt show or react to love the same way as you do doesnt mean they do... (read in full...)
I get called a teacher's pet at school but I only do this because I appreciate my teacher! What shall I do?
Q. My English teacher is one of the top 3 in my life and I am her little pet. I give her multiple presents and cards and I am always complimenting her on the way she teaches. I bring her candy everyday and I make sure she's always having a good day. I ...
A. 29 April 2012: Ok your teacher probably appreciates your generousity but now its making her uncomfortable: so stop.
I can imagine why the other kids see it as sucking up, because they see the gifts given and they find it strange. It was the same in my school
... (read in full...)
He sent dirty texts to my bestfriend,should I give him another chance?
Q. Me and my boyfriend of 3 months split up 2days ago. The other day which was my 3yr old sisters bday my friend (used to be best friends but kinds drifted apart because shes been seeing married men). Was calling me sayin she has somthing to tell...
A. 29 April 2012: Dont give him another chance, he cant be trusted.
Its been just 3 months and he already has been behind your back for your bestfriend!
Men like him cannot be trusted! He'll give you excuses but it doesnt make his behavior right. He was sneaky. ... (read in full...)
Getting married but all I can do is think of my ex
Q. Hi, thanks for reading this. I am a mother of 1 in my 30's Getting married next year but all I can think about is my ex!! We were together 10 years ago for 8 years and haven't seen each other much since! Our parents are friends and we have a fe...
A. 28 April 2012: Tell your ex how you feel... dont marry somebody just for the sake of it.... (read in full...)
Hungarian girl wanted me to 'sign documents' for her, I said no and she hasn't spoken to me since!
Q. I went for a drink with a Hungarian girl a couple of weeks ago, we went out, had a good time, I walked her back to her flat. We chat on Facebook Chat, everything was going well, until yesterday, when I got a Chat message asking if I could sign doc...
A. 26 April 2012: Still be careful ;)
... (read in full...)
Hungarian girl wanted me to 'sign documents' for her, I said no and she hasn't spoken to me since!
Q. I went for a drink with a Hungarian girl a couple of weeks ago, we went out, had a good time, I walked her back to her flat. We chat on Facebook Chat, everything was going well, until yesterday, when I got a Chat message asking if I could sign doc...
A. 24 April 2012: Yes signing documents that you have no clue to what they are does sound really odd.
Be careful, and it could be she is going to use you for sex so you sign the papers.
... (read in full...)
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