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... Send *tarlights a private message | | | *tarlights's profile:What qualifies me to help people? I say its because i've met people from all walks of life, i've heard all the stories, ive even lived some incredible AND heart wrenching stories myself and I am not type to judge others.
In my spare time I enjoy reading, socializing and writing.
Remember no problem is too big that it cant be solved.
Be happy AND remember
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| Latest articles: The Art of Being Happy!
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: The Art of Being Happy The key we have been given in this life which sets us apart from any creature living on this planet, is that as humans, we have free will to do good or bad. To ourselves or to others. Simply We have a choice. W...
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Guys, what the hell? Why do you do this to us girls?
Q. I've been dating this amazingly gorgeous and super smart guy for over three months now. In the first weeks he was really into me, taking me out to dinner all the time and really affectionate with me. After two months I made the mistake of telling ...
A. 18 July 2012: I'm not a male answering this; but it could be for him your moving too fast, and he wants to slow the pace a little.
Goodluck!... (read in full...)
Does this woman want to make love with me?
Q. hello friends,Does this woman wants to make love with me?I am 42 years old,my brother's wife, 52-year-old.touched the woman's breast from behind twice in elbow.In the second gave me to touch my elbow stroked her breasts.she did not give me any ...
A. 18 July 2012: Thats your brothers wife.
Move on, forget this idea. Cant you find someone else in your area to touch and lust after who wants you too.
... (read in full...)
His friendship with a work mate is beginning to upset me!
Q. Hi, My boyfriend is friends with a work mate and talks about her loads and its beginning to upset me. She always go to him for relationship advice about how she can't meet a nice man and she only likes muscley men and he replies maybe you sho...
A. 18 July 2012: Its very strange your boyfriend is making pacts with this other lady. He should realise that their relationship makes things uncomfortable for you; of course it natural you feel uneasy the way he is behaving is VERY inconsiderate!
There could be... (read in full...)
Trouble with forgiveness...
Q. Does anyone else have a problem with forgiving people and had to watch people they dearly loved pass them by? Did you decide to forgive them when it was too late?...
A. 16 July 2012: I spent years being ignored by my father.
I learnt that holding onto resentment is not beneficial for my health or for myself; so i forgave those people who hurt me. Once you forgive; it leads to a stress free life.
... (read in full...)
What do I do? He doesn't seem to have time for me any more...
Q. Hi all! I have a boyfriend and weve been together for 1.5 years now. We used to meet a lot but recently he has gotten very busy and i havent seen him in 3 months. Firstly about 2 months back he went to his native town, about 7 hours drive away from ...
A. 16 July 2012: This relationship sounds as if he's too busy to consider your feelings and his health issues does not help...
i think his health is his priority at the moment and thats why he's laid back and relaxed about it all.
Its probably best to ask and d... (read in full...)
Do you think I should contact her and ask her if she would like to be friends again ?
Q. So... My ex broke up with me 4 months ago and I still think about her every day but mostly cause I miss her and her friendship. Do you think i should contact her and ask her if she would like to be friends again see that being more than friends is ...
A. 2 July 2012: Well you could stay friends with her; but that make it harder for you to move on.
Personally i would accept that its time to move on; and stop contact because eventually time is a great healer; and you will move on,
I suggest taking up a new hob... (read in full...)
Phone calls about boyfriend visting ex wife?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now, he was married before and he had affairs when married to his ex wife,some one will only ring me up every now and again and say he has been to the ex wifes house and also the lady he had the affair with ...
A. 2 July 2012: change your number; report it to the police.
Its someone you obviously know.... (read in full...)
What does a houswife do?
Q. I am 41 and have been a housewife my entire married life which started at 16. I have no job skills, no money and the economy is so bad that I can't find a job anywhere. There is no sex, touching of any kind or closeness in my marriage and there ...
A. 2 July 2012: I suggest you make a list and access areas of work that your interested in.
Then Look about ways to gain some experience and qualifications in that given area. You can research using the library, local employment office; and the net.
Your no... (read in full...)
Can toothpaste get rid of pimples?
Q. Iv starting developing pimples. iv been using a cream but it bleach my skin too much so iv decided to put an end to it even though it helps me. I heard tooth paste can also get rid of pimples. But i dont know how to go about it. Can tooth paste get ...
A. 29 June 2012: Ok i tried this technique a few times and it works!
ok so wash your face before bed time; add a small pea size amount of toothpaste on your pimple;
leave on for a few hours (like at least 3) or until it dries overnight;
then in the morning peel... (read in full...)
I have a tendency to judge men!
Q. I have a tendency to judge men, I do not like the fact that I do it but I seem to subconsciously criticise their abilities in their work, relationships and mannerisms. I criticise in a way to say that as men they are expected to up their game, as a ...
A. 29 June 2012: I think its a mix of contributory factors why you feel and *judge* the men the way you do.
You say you envy men; what about them makes you envious? you can be just as anything they are!
i think these are internal issues you need to work wit... (read in full...)
Is he still upset? what should I do?
Q. I have a friend, who had a gf and whilst we were talking he'd flirt and hint at our friendship being something more. Luckily I didn't fall for it but it turns out he was cheating on his gf and now that she's dumped him, he really really upset ...
A. 28 June 2012: I think you know this guy clearly has *issues* right now so its wise to steer clear and keep him as a distant friend and nothing more.
He is upset over his girlfriend so clearly he has feelings for her; and trying to get close to you would ha... (read in full...)
If I get the chance to return to his state again, should I try to find out if he still likes me?
Q. My ex and I dated for 6 months and we broke up 1.5 years ago. But for the past 6 months I think about him all the time. Every day I dream about what it would be like if we could start over. Our relationship was long distance. I was a freshman at the ...
A. 28 June 2012: I think your opening a can of worms by going back and asking him out; its probably wise to accept he has a new girlfriend and this is over.
Goodluck... (read in full...)
I stick to my values and principles, am I wrong?
Q. I would be very grateful to get ladies view on this issue. I am a woman in my forties and very attractive, I started internet dating, I put on my profile that I take time to get to know someone and till I have feelings for them I do not have se...
A. 28 June 2012: If you feel your doing the right thing by yourself by having values and principles; then your not wrong.
Your doing the right thing for YOU, and thats always the best choice.
Sincerely, if your wishing to meet a good, decent, respectable ... (read in full...)
He has ignored me for 4 weeks, what shall I do?
Q. Hello, I have been with a man for six years now and he has left me several times, not ever actually 'ending it' but just freezin me out, ignoring messages etc. I thought that we were done with all that and the last time was a year ago now, however ...
A. 27 June 2012: He enjoys playing games; and if you love him in spite of his careless behavior; he wont change and can drop you when he likes knowing your always there when he returns.
You cant be fully happy in a relationship which a man doesnt give anything... (read in full...)
Is he messing with me or not?
Q. well it seems i got a small problem . this guy i had been talking to has decided to contact me again . he decided that he an his son didn't want him to date anyone so i ask him what did he want to do an he said i guess say good bye , his wife died ...
A. 27 June 2012: He doesnt seem interested if he's talking about his wife's friend , and if he really liked you he'd make more of an effort.
I know you like him but love's a two way thing; if he's not making much effort; its best to drop it.
Goodluck!... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a guy to have slept with only one girl?
Q. Hello everyone, I don't know if Im being paranoid by asking this question. Well, is it wrong for a guy to have slept with only one girl? Because when my friends talk or having conversations, they boast or brag about having sex with four or more ...
A. 27 June 2012: yes your normal and its totally fine what your doing.
Dont listen to your peers; they do whats right for them; and you do whats right for you; its obvious they have different priorities ;)
Goodluck... (read in full...)
Is it ok to only want sex?
Q. Is it ok to only want sex? I mean I see that women are often irritated because the new guy they just met only seems to be interested in sex. What's wrong with that? ...
A. 27 June 2012: Well if its only sex the new guy is after and not her personality; sure the lady will feel some hurt.
Its ok to want sex and friendship too; but if its solely just about sex it can be a unbalanced relationship.... (read in full...)
Should I write her a msg and tell her everything?
Q. Last year, a guy from college messaged me (i've been out of school for 5 years) and we were never close, just acquaintances. We were facebook friends and last year he randomly told me that he broke up with his college girlfriend. I remember seeing ...
A. 27 June 2012: Your feeling guilty about the whole thing; but even if you do tell her there could be a chance she forgives him and takes him back (some women are like that) blaming you, or she could walk away from him and you both.
Either way will it benefit ... (read in full...)
Do you think this is a good sign she is asking me first about giving her number to this guy?
Q. my gf has asked me if its alright to give a guy her number, because he asked for it, they want to discuss business and other things (educational and scientifically stuff),yes we are major geeks, anyway they have been talking for a few weeks ...
A. 25 June 2012: I think your worrying too much if all they do is discuss work related things , and she loves you, so you have to trust her.
Good sign is she told you she is speaking to him and willingly shows you the msgs; as long as they both keep it work rela... (read in full...)
How do I handle him after our affair?
Q. Dear Cupid, Had a relationship with a married man who was sincere to his wife for 14 years. Never he had an affair to anyone till I came to his life. We both are Managers in one company. We became close and started this secret affair. He loves...
A. 25 June 2012: People are noticing a tension between you.
You can continue working there but he will not change.
Other options are to cut him out of your life, to do that
you need to get distance.
So either remain at the same company and move teams ... (read in full...)
I cheated on my hubby and had a baby that he doesn't know may not be his!
Q. I have been married for less than a year, and have a baby. Got married when I was expecting. I cheated on my husband with this man, before we got married. It was at a time when I was very dipresesed cos of my husband’s abusive treatment. I ...
A. 25 June 2012: I'm sorry to say but the truth comes out eventually.
Talking from experience, i know of someone who did the same thing; and eventually her daughter was 25 before she learnt about who her real father was -and when she met him, they had missed o... (read in full...)
I trust my boyfriend but he has an attractive roommate!
Q. Advice? My bf has to find a roommate and found a nice place to live...I helped him look. Now he is completely trustworthy but he found a very nice place but the roommate would be female and she is decent looking. Should I worry? I have a male ...
A. 25 June 2012: Its natural to worry but if you trust him then you dont have to worry unneccesarily.
You have a male roommate ,your boyfriend accepts that and trusts you you can only give him the benefit of the doubt.
Maybe you two can consider moving ... (read in full...)
Does a cyber relationship has a possibility to become true in the real world?
Q. I am currently in an online relationship with a US Army in the middle east who is married. I don't really want to get myself into this kind of relationship that makes me the third party, and on the internet for that matter, but i just can't help ...
A. 19 June 2012: Cyber relationships do happen; but its not healthy to be infront of a computer all day communicating.
It would be a good idea to meet up if you both can and develop it further from there to see if there is still chemistry.
Goodluck... (read in full...)
Did I do the right thing? She's a friend but acts like more than one...
Q. She was crying and upset and was missing her ex-bf..! She called me and we talked i tried to console her but wasnt able to it very well..! After sometime she said that she will talk to me later. I told her to be strong and not give up to these...
A. 12 June 2012: Sounds like she's using you so she doesnt have to go through this ordeal alone, she wants you as a friend but led you on by kissing you, and then wants her ex bf back too...
its very complex and I think that if you want to be friends with her be p... (read in full...)
Is my partner the one for me or not?
Q. Is my partner the one for me or not? I was 18 when my I first met my boyfriend. He was my first real boyfriend and we have been together for 10 years (I'm now 28). We have lived together for 8 of those years. He is the one who fell head ov...
A. 12 June 2012: Its normal to have an occasinal doubt about a relationship but your questioning the most fundemental things!
i think you need to take some *space* to figure out what it is really your wanting and go from there.
If this guy loves you, he'll... (read in full...)
Should I pursue him still or just let him be?
Q. Hi Cupid, I have a small issue here. I have known this guy for like 6yrs, when we have been really good friends. He is 8yrs younger than me, and he really adores me. I opened up to him and told him I was bi 5yrs ago, and that I had really fallen in ...
A. 12 June 2012: Dont pursue him, let him be.
He has hurt you already and will do again if given the chance.
Goodluck... (read in full...)
As a guy, I am asking girls, Is it true that attractive girls choose guys the way I am suggesting?
Q. If there were no marriage, and contraception was 100% effective, it seems to me that generally speaking, girls (specifically, girls in the hottest 20%), would choose guys based on rank/status relative to other guys. Not that these girls would choo...
A. 11 June 2012: My personal answer is that every girl is different; what my friends look for in guys IS TOTALLY different to what i look for; trust me!
there are similarities of course; every girl likes a guy to treat her good; but in terms of looks thats a pers... (read in full...)
She said that she can never love me but kissed me!
Q. She is not in contact with her bf anymore now.. We have kissed when she considers me as her friend..! She said that she can never love me..! And thats because of her x-bf, should wait..? Is there any chance that she will love me as her life ...
A. 11 June 2012: If she said she cant love you she cant.
She obviously is hurt over her past bf, and is looking for a friend to share problem with, not have anything more.
It is difficult for you; but you have to decide if you can tolerate more of hearing about... (read in full...)
How do I know if he cares and wants to be more than friends with benefit?
Q. How do i know if he wants to be more than friends with benifits ? how can i Find out if he cares? How do i realize if im just another girl to him?...
A. 11 June 2012: Does he show interest in your likes/ dislikes?
does he woo you?
does he seem genuinely interested in what you have to say?
does he ask to see you more than often?
does he make you feel special?
if the above answers are yes he's wanting to be m... (read in full...)
I looked in my boyfriend's email and guess what I found!
Q. I am 21 and have been with my current bf for over two years. about six or seven months ago I found a questionable email in my bfs email. it was dated at least two years prior to meeting him and it was from a guy in the email my bf asked this guy to ...
A. 10 June 2012: yep sounds as if he is bisexual.
Yes i would definately ask him! communication is key.... (read in full...)
I don't know whether to wait 'til he is ready, or just let it go.
Q. I'm confused and in pain right now.I have loved a guy who happens to be my bestfriend. He just broke up with his girlfriend last january. His experience with his past relationship was not that good either. He was supposed to propose to the girl ...
A. 10 June 2012: This is very difficult; but the question i ask you is
how much do you trust your boyfriend/bestfriend.
Has he always kept his promises; has he always been good to you? if he has; then chances are he's being honest with you and genuinely cares, i... (read in full...)
How can I kick her out?
Q. I broke up with my partner about 3 weeks ago as her behaviour has been awful and disrespectful in the last few months getting worst up to the day we broke up. I then discovered she was cheating on me. I caught her once before and forgave her 2 years ...
A. 10 June 2012: She obviously needs bigger help; sounds like this lady is having a breakdown.
Wont she seek medical advice? you share a child too; so if the child is in danger its understandable you want the mother cleaning up her act!
I wouldnt kick her out pers... (read in full...)
How can I feel comfortable and do well at my new job?
Q. I just started my new job and I've been scared because I'm afraid of what people think of me. I always panic and stress because I'm afraid I wont make the food right and people might think Im slow and restarted because I take so long and sometimes i ...
A. 9 June 2012: Sounds like your stressed out and if you continue your gonna have a heap of issues. What I do when im stressed is take a deep breathe, and remember to focus on what im doing RIGHT NOW and not focus on the next hour, but being in that moment.
T... (read in full...)
My brother is controlling my life
Q. hiii its problem with my elder brother..... he restricts for everythin i do.... he dont like me wearing jeans.... he dont like me leaving loose hair..he alwways wants me to put plates which i dont do... i never dress up odd.. it will be ju...
A. 5 June 2012: Unfortunately it is very normal in this culture and others for this *type* of abuse to go on tolerated by family members , and then they say its because they love you.
I know how hard it is when they restrict your moves (i had the same but from... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to date my 2nd cousin?
Q. Im in love with my second cousin and we have dated in the past. We have never felt the same love with any other but he thinks its wrong and i dont think its incest how do i show him it's not incest and i reseached the bible and its not in there....
A. 5 June 2012: Its not wrong per se, but cultural norms are against it this is why your cousin is against it.
Also due to the fact of inherited disease should you both have kids.
Both my grandparents were cousins so it should be possible if you both want th... (read in full...)
Looking at live people online having sex is wrong, but seeing naked girls dance and grind on men is ok?
Q. Ok, So I was on here yesterday and saw a question about a girl who's boyfriend was looking at online porn chat shows. Almost everyone replied and said that he was wrong and that isn't appropriate in a relationship; that he was taking it a step too ...
A. 31 May 2012: Hi, i personally have not seen the replies to either questions your on about, however every agony aunt gives advice depending on their experiences and opinions.
I agree with you, i think both are not acceptable actions... (read in full...)
I'm married but involved with a 25 year Russian girl. How do I know if my feelings for her are true? How do I know if I still love my wife? Should I try having a baby with my wife to improve our marriage?
Q. How to start...I am 44 years old and have fallen in love with a 25 year old Russian girl who I met in Moscow while working there for 2 years. I am married (for 18 years) and my wife has never been able to have children. We have recently started...
A. 31 May 2012: answers;
1. by the way you feel. How do you feel when your with each of them? which of them do you have more in common with? feel comfortable with... basically list pro's and cons of each woman, and conclude from there
2. doing the above will g... (read in full...)
I have found out A LOT of dirty secrets about my boyfriend!
Q. My relationship has had it's ups and downs from the beginning.. now almost 3 years in, I have never felt more lost. Over the duration of the relationship, I have found out A LOT of dirty secrets about my boyfriend. For months, he would do nothing...
A. 27 May 2012: You can care for people without being in love with them.
In your case you both have drifted apart.
Your also used to his presence in your life; its become a habit for you.
Breaking a habit is not easy; so is this idea of getting on with ... (read in full...)
Do I send him a nasty letter or completely ignore him ?
Q. Hi everyone, well the last couple of days have been traumatic for me to say the least, we had finished the relationship and i was doing fine, i text him to say basically do what you have to do but dont include me. He then said I had his motivati...
A. 27 May 2012: Revenge isnt really the best solution because you both did something you wanted to do at the time; i would personally vent at him (to release out the anger) then ignore him!... (read in full...)
He is a good husband but a womanizer!
Q. about 5 years ago my husband and i had been not intimate with each other because he was busy with his married gf but the affair stopped 2 years ago. he got another young gf after that and told me three months ago she was pregnant.he is a good ...
A. 27 May 2012: Its convenient and easier for him to live with you rather than go through the long procedure of divorce;
file for divorce because this man is not got for you.
Goodluck!... (read in full...)
I am feeling guilty over my friend with benefits!
Q. Hi I just need some advice on this please have I been unfair in this situation I was in a fwb for 14 months which I wasn't happy with as I was left feeling so used all the time then I found out by three people that knew him that he was married he ...
A. 26 May 2012: No you havent been unfair, you've had something nice with your friend with benefits, now your moving on and settling into a relationship with someone you like.
Life is about changes so dont feel guilty for wanting a proper relationship!... (read in full...)
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