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... Send *tarlights a private message | | | *tarlights's profile:What qualifies me to help people? I say its because i've met people from all walks of life, i've heard all the stories, ive even lived some incredible AND heart wrenching stories myself and I am not type to judge others.
In my spare time I enjoy reading, socializing and writing.
Remember no problem is too big that it cant be solved.
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| Latest articles: The Art of Being Happy!
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: The Art of Being Happy The key we have been given in this life which sets us apart from any creature living on this planet, is that as humans, we have free will to do good or bad. To ourselves or to others. Simply We have a choice. W...
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What can I do about my friends inappropriate behaviour towards my boyfriend?
Q. i was best friends with a girl until she betrayed my trust, backstabbed me and my friends and turned into a person i dont even know, and a person who no one likes at this stage. she likes flirting with guys who are taken, like she enjoys the fact ...
A. 25 July 2009: I THINK IF your friend doesnt respect u and goes after your man every opportunity then she simply isnt a friend.
let go of your so called friendship and stop talking to her.
her behaviour of trying to seduce your bf is out of order. you canno... (read in full...)
Is it possible to infect someone with gonorrhea if you test negative for it, please help?
Q. HELP!!! Okay here's the story. I went out with this guy for a little while. We had unprotected sex. Within a month of us having sex he finds out he got gonorrhea. I went to a clinic and got tested. The lady told me my test results were going to come ...
A. 24 July 2009: mmmmm its strange ur tests results came back negative and your current bf says he was clean before he met u.
i think as u had the injection anyways u were clean when u met ur current bf.
maybe ur current bf previous tests were wrongly diagnose... (read in full...)
Do you think I am wrong with my actions, regarding this child?
Q. I ave jus encountered the most arrogant orrible parents ever i wntd 2 bang them,on way hme in cab an driver c a little girl undr 2yr an tells me.we stop an i go 2 her nobody around so i ask her can she show me mummy,we walk 2 a house round corner ...
A. 24 July 2009: some parents are neglectful.
its lucky u found the 2 year old!
yes report this to the authorities and hopefully the parents wont let the little girl go wondering the streets again.
... (read in full...)
Any suggestions to help with my problem, I'd like to have a boyfriend?
Q. i know what wrong with me now i suffer Involuntary celibacy all my life.its no wondering i have being rejected all the time no matter how nice dress or did n,t it did n,t make difference, because i suffer Involuntary celibacy like i said i was born ...
A. 24 July 2009: there is nothing wrong with u.
u need to understand your unique and perfect as you are.
until u realise this truth and stop judging yourself so harshly as a reject u will notice people being more affectionate with u.
if u dont love yourse... (read in full...)
Should I try to let him know how I feel?
Q. hi, i'm a gay student who has not, as of yet, "come out". I've been interested in loads of guys from school for a couple of years now. However, now that i've left school and am going to uni in September, i have really felt a deep affection for one ...
A. 24 July 2009: i would say dont jump into admitting anything to him until u r sure he feels the same about u.
the thing is he has labelled himself as straight and if u come onto him it might drive a wedge in your friendship as he may feel u dont respect his choi... (read in full...)
How do you know when you have had an orgasm and when you have pleased your man?
Q. i need help on this and fast. well first off i feel real Dumb for asking this but how do you know when youve had an orgasm? and how do you know when you have fully pleased your man? i feel real sumb for asking that but i wanna make sure that what im ...
A. 24 July 2009: your not asking a dumb question.
u will know when u have had an orgasm as its an intense feeling of high release and joy,
im guessing u havent had this feeling otherwise u would know recognise this.
you will know if u have pleased your man ... (read in full...)
My mom wants me to spend less time with my boyfriend!
Q. Ok Here's my problem. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 and a half years. I love him to death and he loves me just the same, our relationship has had some really rough times and he broke up with me for one whole day. and we patchd things up...
A. 24 July 2009: spend an extra few hours more in the home, at least this makes mom happy, and see your bf the other hours so u can be happy.
dont see mum as interfering she has your best interests at heart!... (read in full...)
Would there be a chance of my being pregnant from this experience?
Q. I'm wondering if I could be pregnant? We had sex with a condom, he pulled out with the condom on, took the condom off outside of me, and came on my inner thigh. I wiped it off immediately, but i'm not sure if some sperm could have traveled inside.....
A. 24 July 2009: wait another week or so then do a pregnancy test.
good luck... (read in full...)
Strange goings on with his Face book, and he hasn't returned my messages, what should I do?
Q. okay so 2 days ago, my crush sent me a message and a “poke” on facebook so i sent him back a message and he still hasn’t replied…but i went on his page just now and it said that he commented on someone’s video in his recent activity and then i went ...
A. 24 July 2009: why dont you send him another message and say you havent heard back from him, and make a joke from the situation? hopefully he will reply before the net disconnects and if he doesnt take the hint and leave him be. good luck... (read in full...)
Serious mood swings and depression because of a contraceptive implant, what should I do?
Q. i had the contraceptive implant implanon inserted nearly a month ago. Sice then the only side effect ive had is severe depression and mood swings. The mood swings are affecting my bf a lot worse than me, i switch from severe depression to ex...
A. 24 July 2009: if you want to keep with the implant you have to see this thing through and ride the tough times out. or the other option is to get it removed and get advice from the doctor for alternative methods but as you say you dont wish to go for this opti... (read in full...)
My friends kids have been taken away on false grounds, what can be done to appeal the decision?
Q. I'm sorry if this is a bit all over the place, but I am god damn fuming right now. And could really do with some suggestions on what can be done with the situation. Well, my friend has literally, just ended up with a care order on her 3 kids. Now, ...
A. 24 July 2009: she really needs to speak to a solicitor, citizens advice and get some advice pronto.
good luck... (read in full...)
How do I tell my ex that I have an STD when he wont even talk to me?
Q. I found out that i have a std after my boyfriend and me broke up. I don't think i got it from him. I think i caught it from someone before we got together. We've had unprotected sex 3 times. Now were not on talking terms. I wanna tell him bc i know ...
A. 24 July 2009: send him a msg or email and let him know pronto before he passes it on to others.
it doesnt matter what he thinks of u, just that u did the right thing. he has a right to know.
good luck!... (read in full...)
I need positive advice about how to get my ex back in my arms!
Q. Hi. im looking for optomistic....possitive advice and testimonies to getting your Ex bakc into your arms. Basically I fell in love with my BEST female freind. and she feel in love with me after a week of telling her......after 4 months of sort ...
A. 24 July 2009: you cant win your gf back if its not what she wants.
however if u truly love her, and hope for her back, then just always be there for her as a good supportive loving friend and maybe if she see's these qualities it may make her warm to you more... (read in full...)
I told everyone I dumped him, problem is I haven't actually told him!
Q. I have a little problem, well, it' not really small to me. I've told everyone I’ve dumped my boyfriend, because i really want to, and i will. Just finding it incredibly hard cause i love him, but the bad things outweigh the good by far (i posted...
A. 24 July 2009: if you want to end things with this guy there is no nice way of doing it. i would speak to him and see if you can sort through the problems at hand. if you cannot then tell him face to face that you dont see yourself having a future with hi... (read in full...)
Sadly, I am in love with a woman, who is not my wife, but who I do love, what should I do?
Q. I am a 29 yr old guy with problems (obviously). I have been married to my wife for just shy of 1 year, though we have been together for over 7 years (met in college, first 2 yrs were not really serious yet). She is about a year younger than me. Five ...
A. 24 July 2009: I think you should let your best friend move on and be with this guy, and you should try and work things through with your wife becoz although she might not be your bestest friend she is your love and the one you chose to marry. You might not feel... (read in full...)
Sex and masturbation questions!
Q. how often do guys want to have sex? how often do they masturbate? is that all they think about in a relationship? and also, i know a single guy in his 20s. he's been single for a while. does he masturbate? and is it a lot different than bein...
A. 22 July 2009: how often guys want sex depends on the guy, they are all on different levels of addiction to sex, but generally speaking guys like sex most of the time.
most of them masturbate too!!
... (read in full...)
I met a Turkish man in Germany and now I'm very confused!
Q. hi All I have just returned from a holiday in Germany with some friends who live their. While in Germany I met a Turkish fela the same age as me 34- he has lived in Germany apparently for 12 years or so and seems to be quite successfull in h...
A. 22 July 2009: it sounds like this turkish guy is really playing on your feelings.
on one hand i think walk away as it seems you have a cultural difference and then on the other i think in the end he did come honest with you.
if u do contact him u can apolog... (read in full...)
Do I have a problem with cocaine?
Q. If someone spends £230 on cocaine a week would you say they have a problem? It started off as trying it on a night out and im spending atleast £230 a week on it, and i mainly do by myself. I dont really have a family to turn to, all i have is fr...
A. 22 July 2009: yes this is alot of money to be spending on drugs.
have u thought about how u see yourself in 5 years time?
drugs are a downward spiral and u are so young, you deserve alot better.
i know u dont have family, and just becoz u think this ... (read in full...)
Does this flower have a deeper meaning?
Q. While on a bike ride with a mutual friend, the boy of my affections picked me a tiger lily off the side of the road to bring back to me. However, he does not know about my affections for him and I'm wondering if maybe this flower may have meaning to ...
A. 22 July 2009: it sounds like he cared enough to pick a flower so it means u must mean something to him...
good luck!... (read in full...)
His performance in bed is so disappointing I'm not sure I want to see him again! Should I tell him?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for a very short time, He invited me to his place for a meal the other night. After a few glasses of wine, we ended up in bed. I was very dissapointed in his performance, to say the least. He was too rough, and didnt bother...
A. 22 July 2009: if u want to see him again, u should tell him how u feel... just be straight with him before u hit the sack again.
just becoz he is older doesnt mean he still hasnt got life in him to learn, so show him how it should be done!!
see yourself ... (read in full...)
My ex is having crazy mood swings, what's her problem
Q. I work with an ex who cheated on me. I walked away caused no trouble and was hurt. It appears the other man didn't work out. During this time I have made every attempt to be civil and polite with my ex. But what I find is one day she will ...
A. 22 July 2009: your ex gf sounds like she still has issues with you.
maybe it iritates her a little u walked away instead of trying to make her stay with u.
i would just ignore her behaviour & be civil to her, there is no point to cause strife if u both... (read in full...)
He says we're friends, but he doesn't want to talk to me very much! What's up with this guy?
Q. I'm hoping some of you out there can help me because im really not sure not to do! We you see i've been friends with this guy for 2 years now, we were at college together. The thing is we've always seemed to have som sort of communication problem. ...
A. 20 July 2009: i think if its worrying u so much, u should ask him why he treats u differently. i cant really tell why he's acting so strange, i think its better u ask him directly as he is a complex character! ... (read in full...)
My bf says it's wrong for me to remain nice to people I dislike. Is he right?
Q. i'm normally a really nice person, and people know me for this. even if its someone i genuinely dislike for something she did to me in the past etc i am not mean to her, and i remain polite if she strikes a conversation with me. sometimes i tend to ...
A. 20 July 2009: i would say honesty is always the best policy. i dont really take to fake people and some people are able to see a person like u a mile off. its something u need to decide for yourself, your probably comfortable being like this, and... (read in full...)
Is it true for some people that you don't remember your dreams upon waking?
Q. Is it true for some people that you don't remember your dreams upon waking? I wake up and remember quite a bit of what I have dreamt that night, and I thought that was quite normal, but many family members tell me that they never dream (or simp...
A. 20 July 2009: most people dont remember their dreams on waking up and some do. but everyone dreams a dream regardless whether they remember it or not. i wouldnt worry about what your dreams mean, they seem random and repeated over and over (things u have exp... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend wants to meet my ex! I'm very nervous about this...
Q. So, my boyfriend of about 15 months wants to meet my ex-boyfriend. I dated the ex for 8 years and we have a 6 year old together. The ex-boyfriend caused some major drama in the begining of the relationship which I did "sugar-coat" some things....... ...
A. 20 July 2009: this probably isn't a good idea, and your gut instincts are telling u so. its probably best u tell your bf now isn't the right time and your ex still has issues regarding you. until things calm down then u can let the 2 of them meet amicab... (read in full...)
Should I set up a bogus mail account and see if my husband takes the bait?
Q. Further to my earlier post I have been thinking about this........ I have set up a hotmail account using my husband's texting colleague's email address but with a very slight alteration it would be hard to spot. I have used her name for the name...
A. 20 July 2009: why dont u trust your husband? playing games like this is dangerous indeed and in the long run so not worth it. if you have suspicions about him ask him directly, but dont sneak about when u dont have any evidence to back your suspicions... (read in full...)
My nasty neighbour is making my life miserable!
Q. ok guys heres my problem . i have had a troubled life and having some mental health disoders does not help (ADHD ect) . its just lucky i have a lovely family who i can talk to . My problem is a nasty neighbour . it all began many years ...
A. 20 July 2009: your neighbour chris is a bully and he knows he can get away with it thats why he does what he does. your family seem not to want trouble hence why they dont report him, but what chris is doing is illegal its harassment and police do take this typ... (read in full...)
Do you think I should get back with him?
Q. i dated this guy for 2 weeks which is a very short amount of time. B4 we got together, we would always talk and all that. and he was sooo sweet and nice to me. on our first date i could definitely tell that he liked me alot! he definitely showed it ...
A. 20 July 2009: if u want to get back with him, there's your answer. u need to speak to him about what happened and tell him why u did what u did, then see what he says and go from there. if u don't tell him your feelings and risk it, u will always live wond... (read in full...)
I can't get any girls to notice me!
Q. hi I'm a 14 year old male and I have a problem. I can't get any girls to notice me. every where I go even in my neighborhood there are pretty girls(even at church). I don't know how to act or approach them. that's why I can't ever get girlfriends. 1 ...
A. 20 July 2009: You will attract a girlfriend when u least expect it. try not to worry about it so much, then u will be observed as being laid back and easy going not uptight and maybe then girls will approach you. big nose, small nose, has nothing to do wi... (read in full...)
I think he would lie about anything to keep the peace with me
Q. My BF and I have been together for 4 years now. On and off, it's been kinda bumpy but now it's pretty good. We would be perfect if two things: I don't sweat the small stuff and his issue with his children's mother. I'm working on my problem but I ...
A. 19 July 2009: you have to ask him direct if he has done the paternity test and if the child is his.
if he fails to answer u, contact the mum of the child and find out from her, her side of the story.
its not fair ur not kept informed whats going on,
bu... (read in full...)
Only a 3 day period-Could be pregnant?
Q. i always get my period at the first of every month, but in june i had a normal period but then on the 26 of june i had a three day period, am i pregnant, i have been experience uncomfortable sex, eating alot more, and the veins in my breast are now ...
A. 19 July 2009: you wont know if your pregnant until u have a pregnancy test.
it could be your hormones as your still quiet young.
to be sure take a test and then u will know!
good luck!... (read in full...)
Boyfriend sitll communicating with ex from another country
Q. My boyfriend still communicates with his exgirlfriend who is living in other country... i am not happy with his situation, tried to stop him, but it cause us a lot of problems at the end... is there anybody would help me for this and give me some ...
A. 18 July 2009: u have told ur bf ur feelings on this matter and he obviously has made up his mind to keep in contact with your ex.
fighting wont solve anything, u either have to accept u cant control him or walk away from the situation with your respect intact
... (read in full...)
If I love my boyfriend I wouldn't be confused by this other guy right?
Q. OK so for five years I've known this guy he's not amazing looking but theres just something about him and i've always loved him and wanted to be with him. He was scared of commitment and always tried just to be friends with me even though we both ...
A. 18 July 2009: your gut instinct is telling u your current bf isnt right for u otherwise u wouldnt feel doubts and see him more as a brother.
but this doesnt mean u shud jump straight into relations with the other guy.
take some time out and get to know the ... (read in full...)
What do you do when everyone else has luck?
Q. So what do you do if you feel like everyone is having all the luck in the relationship deparment meaning people getting back together ect. Do you give up hope or move on?...
A. 18 July 2009: no dont feel discouraged when u see other people in love.
its just a fact of life relationships do happen but u shouldnt dwell on others, just focus on yourself and be happy with what u do have in your life & when u least expect it the right pe... (read in full...)
How can I finish with him when I'm so in love with him?
Q. Right im in love with this guy,, weve been together on and off for 2 months now,, but he always says he feels weird about the relationship because i am 14 and he is 17 and all of his mates always take the mick. i tell him to ignore it but he says he ...
A. 18 July 2009: If he really cared for you he wouldnt be treating u like this.
your still underage and its probably embarrasing for him.
speak to him and find out from him what he wants becoz its not fair to carry on like this.
good luck!... (read in full...)
I don't know if I can walk away. What do I do?
Q. I know my boyfriend loves me, he does tell me this and we would could potentially have a good life together in the future. We complement each other quite well. He's helped me with a lot of things in my life and helped me try to accept who I am. T...
A. 16 July 2009: if your not happy u need to tell him.
its not fair if one person makes all the changes,
a relationship is about giving & taking & sharing,
he cant have the good parts of the cake and leave the bad parts to you.
if u want this to work ... (read in full...)
How can I break this cycle of breaking up?
Q. Well, i was with my ex for a year and a half and we broke up a year ago.. but since him everytime im in a relationship i break up with them after a month or two and i dont know why! i love bein in a relationship and they'v always treated me good.. i ...
A. 16 July 2009: maybe u get bored easily.
i think instead of meeting guys and dating them and breaking up, why dont u take some time out.
think about what u like in a guy, then go back into it when u meet someone who matches your criteria.
if u date just ... (read in full...)
I know he is selfish...how can I get that to change without ruining his self-esteem?
Q. I have had an unsatisfying sex life when it comes to having the act with a male. I have pleasured myself successfully most times and have no problems having an orgasm then within 15 minutes or less. When I am with someone of the opposite sex I ...
A. 16 July 2009: you need to speak to him and tell him, (show him) exactly how to do it to make it.
you will find this will bring u both closer.
good luck!... (read in full...)
I am afraid for him. Is there anything I can do?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have recently reconnected with an ex-boyfriend who has been in an on and off again relationship. He says he loves me but he continues to try to make the other relationship work because she has a child that he feels he needs to be t...
A. 16 July 2009: no there is nothing u can do.
u can drop him a msg and say u can be there for him as a friend to talk to to help him overcome his problems,
tell him to contact his doctor and they can help him further.
but if he's doing drugs only he can ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty about my past and I'm afraid I wont find anyone in the future who will accept me!
Q. I am a 16 year gal...I'm really finding it difficult to forget my past..here goes the story { In brief} I was in this relationship for about 13 months..After a long emotional drama..Fights..misunderstandings..Problems of insecurity.. We've called i...
A. 16 July 2009: u wont forget this so easily.
it will take some time before u heal from the pain.
sometimes life throws things our way to test our character, dont feel bad, u have repented and accept that u have forgiven yourself.
now just concentrate ... (read in full...)
How do you get over somebody cheating on you?
Q. How do you get over somebody cheating on you? My husband didn't really cheat on me, he just wrote to a woman and told her she was attractive and enjoyed the nude pictures she sent him. No matter how hard I try I just can't seem to get over it. ...
A. 15 July 2009: i think us girls all have our insecurity issues,
but your husband really did the dirty by doing that with the other women.
if your sticking with him u need to move away from all negative past,
& label urself as "classy" rather than a t... (read in full...)
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