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... Send *tarlights a private message | | | *tarlights's profile:What qualifies me to help people? I say its because i've met people from all walks of life, i've heard all the stories, ive even lived some incredible AND heart wrenching stories myself and I am not type to judge others.
In my spare time I enjoy reading, socializing and writing.
Remember no problem is too big that it cant be solved.
Be happy AND remember
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| Latest articles: The Art of Being Happy!
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: The Art of Being Happy The key we have been given in this life which sets us apart from any creature living on this planet, is that as humans, we have free will to do good or bad. To ourselves or to others. Simply We have a choice. W...
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Do men like to be chased first?
Q. Do men liked to be chased? When they're not calling and texting you is it because they do want to or they waiting for you to do it?...
A. 29 March 2012: It could be a variety of factors.
If you like someone i say go for it and text the man first, there is nothing wrong with taking control although most of the time men do enjoy the chase.
Things have changed so much with etiquette on who... (read in full...)
I messed up and my girlfriend broke up with me, how can I turn this around? I need her back!
Q. I lost someone dear to me. My girlfriend. I messed up and she saw where I had flirted with other girls on facebook. I lied and said it wasn't me. The truth came out. We broke up, and exchanged violent words. Man have I messed up! I want her, so bad ...
A. 26 March 2012: She's obviously not into forgiving you right now.
There's pretty much nothing you can do, but tell her directly to her face that she is the woman for you.
Other than that, its a hopeless thing unless she chooses to allow you back into her li... (read in full...)
Are his lies that bad? Is it better to end things now, or try and keep going?
Q. I am feeling so terrible right now and need some advice. I really don't know what to do.... I just broke up with my boyfriend. I didn't necessarily mean to. I found out he lied to me, and I was so hurt that I sent him a text saying exactly, ...
A. 23 March 2012: If someone your in a relationship lies, and its a big lie (not one of those white lies like he pretends to like romance films just because you do)
but a big lie like how he said he never dated his friend, and they had been in a form of rela... (read in full...)
She lied to me about her relationship with her husband, but I still have to see her at work. What should I do in this situation?
Q. I am married and in love with co-worker since 4 years. We share very intimate relationship like soulmates. Few months back she got married and she started to hide and lie things from me with regards to her relationship with husband inspite of ...
A. 21 March 2012: 1. Dont talk to her
Find a new job.
2. Get far away from her as possible.
She broke your trust, and it is heartbreaking. Trust me many years ago i was in the same position as you... just get away... you will heal, it takes time and space.
... (read in full...)
I've avoided him because he stood next to a lady! was I wrong?
Q. I'v been in a relationship with a guy. Sometimes i doubt his love for me but he proved me all wrong. We met sometime ago and we had great time chatting and eventually he kissed me for the long period of time. I was shock because it was my first i ...
A. 21 March 2012: I think you need to speak with him and ask him who the lady was, you cant avoid him forever!
for all you know it could have been his mom/sister/cousin/ standing with him.
Speak to him and dont worry.
... (read in full...)
Should I change my hair colour for him?
Q. I am dating a new guy and his type is brunette with olive skin. I am blonde, which i dye. My natural color is dark brown. Should I go back to my natural color? He asked me to but acted like he was joking but i dont think he was. So stay blond or go ...
A. 21 March 2012: How do you prefer your hair?
& keep it like that...
... (read in full...)
Was I demanding in my last relationship?
Q. Hi, I am a 40 year old fellow from Nova Scotia. Recently I broke up a relationship that I thought would lead to marriage. (I have never been married.) The reason was the girl I was seeing was unreliable and lied. For example she could not keep app...
A. 21 March 2012: Hi Thomas,
I dont think you were demanding in your last relationship.
Your ex was not reliable or trustworthy and trust is the basis for any relationship, especially if your going to marry someone,
therefore your not wrong to cut somethi... (read in full...)
I am the one who does the texting and keeping in contact!
Q. I have been talking to my best friends cousin and I really like him but he always brings up the fact that when we were younger he used to like me and now he us making me pay fir it. I'm always the one who.keeps calling him or texting him. Do you ...
A. 21 March 2012: If he's making you pay for it, he sounds like a revengeful guy who is manipulating this situation.
Yes you are trying to hard and i'd stop bothering with a guy like that, it sounds to me as if he is taking the right mickey out of you.
Dump hi... (read in full...)
She cried when I said I just wanted to be friends!
Q. Hi, I recently met a woman who is a few years older than me. We got on really well, talked on the phone for hours and were texting eachother constantly. I saw a couple pics of her and decided to meet her in person. She was even better looking in the ...
A. 19 March 2012: You put her off with the "I love my ex" comment.
Its mixed signals to this lady who thought you was into her, and the next thing you admit your in love with your ex.
You cannot be friends with someone who likes you more than a friend, its diff... (read in full...)
I don't like her inappropriate behaviour!
Q. I have a group of friends who I was at a party with last weekend. They know and study with this girl. She is very slutty I would say. She grabs at the guys (she's got 3-4 guys she's always grabbing at). Now, what they do is their business, but this ...
A. 19 March 2012: Well it sounds like this girl knows her behavior is extreme yet she still does it for attention and fun.
You could talk to her but she may not want to change just to accomodate you and your friends feelings.
My advice is, if she's a good ... (read in full...)
I need advice on places to travel in Europe!
Q. This summer I'm planning to take a trip by myself, more so for the experience and greater benefit of independance, I would like to see what it is like when you're out in the world by yourself, experiencing new places. I'm hopping to go for two maybe ...
A. 19 March 2012: There are many gorgeous places in europe to visit.
Greece/portugal/Norway/ are pretty good, and its only a few hours away :)
Flights are pretty cheap for greece, 2 weeks can be a bit long there... depends on the area/place your at, ... (read in full...)
How do I convince my conscious that things are over?
Q. I think I am having problems moving on after a divorce of a year now. I have dreams about my ex in which I'm usually just trying to chat with her in a private place to see what's going on in her life. Other times the dreams are me missing things ...
A. 19 March 2012: Your subconcious goes into overdrive while your sleeping... sometimes the brain is rewiring while you sleep, so what happens is that "old stuff" gets churned up, while the rewiring process goes on.
As long as the dreams are not upsetting than its... (read in full...)
First date nerves...
Q. Hello, I've been single for ages, i joined a dating website and have a date on Sunday.. we are meeting in the day in a coffee shop so theres no issues in that respect, but firstly i'm panicking what to wear, i cant afford anything new so am going...
A. 16 March 2012: Dont panic, remember if he wasnt attracted to you he would not have asked you on a date in the first place ;)
You also have things in common to talk about, so strike up conversation regarding those subjects if you feel like you have nothing ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't initiate sex?
Q. My boyfriend and I started having sex around a month ago, and whenever we do its amazing - however, he always seems to have a problem initiating it. Before we just did other stuff like oral sex, and he loves that, and has no problem initiating it. ...
A. 16 March 2012: Has he got stuff going on?
things on his mind distracting him... stresses strains?
-maybe the cause of his lack of interest.
You really need to communicate with him and find out whats on his mind.
Goodluck.... (read in full...)
How can I ever trust him again after he lied, he even swore on our kids lives!
Q. So I need some advice on if I can ever trust my Fiance again. To start we were having some problems back in October and we decided that we would be together but I went to stay with a friend for a week because I needed some time to sort things out. ...
A. 13 March 2012: He's broken your trust.... a man who can swear blind that he didnt cheat on 5 of his kids lives has serious issues and wont change!... (read in full...)
Why cant my husband forgive me for lying about fiancial matters? I have been a devoted wife in every other way!
Q. I lied to my husband of 7 years about bills I was paying for my adult/college daugther (her car payment and cell phone)who is 1000 miles away from home,and credit cards I had that I paid for my husband found out and now it has turned into all out ...
A. 13 March 2012: It will take your husband some time to forgive you.
You broke his trust and thats something thats really hurt him.
Im afraid you'll just have to be patient with him until this all blows over and apologise.
Explain why you kept it a secret... (read in full...)
Why did he delete me as a friend on Facebook when I got engaged? I want my friend back!
Q. Hi. I have been great friends (with a guy) for 13 year. We almost got together once when I was eighteen, but I decided against it because I didnt want to lose a friend if anything went wrong. He's in the navy but whenever he's back we would get ...
A. 13 March 2012: This friend of yours obviously liked you more than you thought.
He obviously does not wish to keep in contact anymore until he resolves his feelings for you , you dont have much choice but to let him be.
Goodluck!... (read in full...)
I don't know which guy to chose! Help!
Q. hi,am 22..i agreed to date my boyfiend(first ever) cos he is intelligent and has a promising future and moreso cos he was persistent but i never really loved him cos he wasnt the romantic and cute guy,just wanted him as a friend..1month into our ...
A. 12 March 2012: You need to choose the ONE you love...
You obviously dont love the first one, and the second one you havent mentioned the "love" word.
The point is dont just "settle" - choose to be with someone who makes you feel love,
because looks etc fa... (read in full...)
Should I ask him out? Please help!
Q. so i am in love with this guy who is also the best friend of my best guy friend. i told my friend about it and i suppose he told this guy about me having a crush on him. later when one of my other friends also told him about me he talked to me and ...
A. 7 March 2012: Well he has only just broken up with his gf so I think you should let it settle down a while.
I agree let him ask you out because he already knows how you feel. Why state intentions again?
Like you say, the guy doesnt want you to think... (read in full...)
We have a son together, but she hides me from everyone! She wouldn't even let me sign the birth certificate!
Q. Hi people, I'm not from on English speaking country so I hope this is still readable. For the last 8 years I have been in a relationship with a woman who hides me from her friends and family. I do see her brother or sister sometimes but I wonder i...
A. 7 March 2012: She wont find out about this site because you wrote anonymous and unless you have a shared computer its against the odds so dont worry :)
This lady has to change for herself you cant help her change. She needs to recognise she has a problem ... (read in full...)
How do I handle this difficult family situation?
Q. Hai. Im not feeling like my real self right now and i dont know what to. The things is, my mother and father are always fighting; shouting at one another for some reasons i dont understand. So i kind of favoured my dad because he never started the ...
A. 7 March 2012: Your bound to be feeling stressed hearing your parents argue.
Its natural you feel to take your fathers side because it appears to you, your mother starts it off.
Why dont you speak to your mum and tell her how you feel.
Explain that the... (read in full...)
I like him, and I think he likes me too, so what do I do now?
Q. He's very cute and in my English lit class at university. We went on a drama society trip for a musical and although we were in a group we pretty much ignored everyone through the entire trip and kept to ourselves and talked. He keeps imitating ...
A. 7 March 2012: Just go with the flow!
Its natural to be nervous around him, but you need to act neutral or he'll pick up on your feelings and back off.
So when you go and see the play, just act natural, discuss the play and flirt as you both usually naturall... (read in full...)
How can I go on with a relationship with my sister after knowing she is married to a child offender?
Q. Dear cupid, I just had a feeling that I should do a search for some reason. I didn't know this about my brother-in-law but I just thought I would do a search for his name and he comes up as a registered child offender. Now my sister and I led a ...
A. 7 March 2012: Your sister has made her choice, she clearly loves this man and is sticking to him.
She obviously knew you'd all freak out thats why she never mentioned anything about her husbands past.
Its probably best to talk to your sister, admit wh... (read in full...)
Overdosing on contact!
Q. I know this is a somewhat odd question, but here goes: I'm in a long distance relationship and it's all going great. We send emails to one another every day, we send text messages by the dozen and we talk on the phone every single day. Now that last ...
A. 7 March 2012: Hmm, it is a bit odd that you both cannot "talk" on the phone also. Normally from what i know couples with chemistry can go on talking forever.
I personally think (yeah emails and msgs are great) but physical talking (hearing each others voices) ... (read in full...)
We have a son together, but she hides me from everyone! She wouldn't even let me sign the birth certificate!
Q. Hi people, I'm not from on English speaking country so I hope this is still readable. For the last 8 years I have been in a relationship with a woman who hides me from her friends and family. I do see her brother or sister sometimes but I wonder i...
A. 7 March 2012: This woman clearly has severe mental trauma's and issues caused by her past.
She has a bullyish mentality and is suffering from low self esteem.
Its not your fault she is the way she is, and unless she wants to change by getting help for... (read in full...)
My flatemate is very biased towards a certain religion. I don't know how to feel about him now
Q. Dear Cupid, My friend (also my flatmate) was recently talking about how much he hates a certain religion and everything they stand for. I turned round and told him that one of my friends is of the same religion and he was quite shocked. I told ...
A. 3 March 2012: Your flatmates promised you he wont be rude or mean to your friend. See if he keeps to his promise.
Flatmate or not this person is clearly narrow minded and probably had a bad experience with the religion in question.
You just got to see how t... (read in full...)
Is it too much to hope? Could he like me all over again?
Q. my ex and i broke up about 8 months ago. it was fairly mutual, but my heart was definitely broken. we started out as good friends, and then he asked me out (i was shocked), and i grew to love him dearly. after our break up, we did want to stay...
A. 3 March 2012: It sound like he has feelings for you and is not over you.
Hope that helps knowing!... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of falling in love and getting hurt!
Q. I need help overcoming my fear of relationships. And basically get out of my shell. To get to the point: I have never had a boyfriend. And at 24, that's pretty late. When I was younger I was happy that I wasn't involved with all the drama. No pr...
A. 2 March 2012: Its no wonder you feel afraid about falling in love, its very natural to feel afraid of something you have never experienced.
There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at 24, you clearly want to lose it to someone special and rightly so!
D... (read in full...)
Am I a fool for hoping she would see her mistake and come back?
Q. My first love who i met at 14 broke up with me at age 22. Our relationship was magical it really was. we were best friends even after 8 years being able to keep the magic that long is unique in my opinion. we had plans of marrige and kids and ...
A. 1 March 2012: I talk from personal experience so if i come across as "hard" i dont mean too, i just want to help you address these issues :)
so here we go ;)
You cant say that if you met her when she was older you would have had led a happy life, she may st... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a gangster! Should I marry him?
Q. Hiya, I'm 27 years old woman and I dated a 19 year old boy for 5 months last year. The very first time that we met, I doubted that we would ever got along as he's 8years younger than me, turned out, it was like love at the first sight for us both ...
A. 1 March 2012: Your boyfriend may have left his family for you, but that does not give him the excuse NOT to listen to your advice.
You have every right to be concerned, if your boyfriend gets caught by the authorities thats a bleak future for you both if you a... (read in full...)
I feel love for my dad's cousin!
Q. What do i should if I feel love for my dad`s cousin and she is eight years older than me?...
A. 1 March 2012: I say keep away, dating family is always a bad idea...
I've seen other people go through what you describe and 99.9% it ends in heartbreak or failure. Its not worth risking your heart for. ... (read in full...)
I feel like damaged goods because I won't be able to have children and haven't talked with him about it!
Q. well i do love my boyfriend just a few things on my mind and i need some advice. Firstly, christmas time i bought him a ear ring and hes only worn it a handful of times do i ask if he liked it? its niggling at me a bit More importantly on numer...
A. 1 March 2012: I am so sorry to hear your having to go through this alone.
big hugs
Its not easy to handle such news, but you need to cry the emotions out and allow yourself to feel the pain.
Surround yourself with people you find supportive or be al... (read in full...)
My husband is addicted to working out, he has always told me he feels ugly next to me, is verbally abusive and has no interest in me. What's his problem?
Q. First, my husband is addicted to working out. We never have sex, he has no interest in me. He is verbally abusive. I am 48, a very fit body, size 36D breasts that he says he loves. He has always told me he feels ugly next to me. What is the ...
A. 1 March 2012: Your husband is having a stressful time, (near breakdown it seems) and low self esteem.
Your doing the right thing by being supportive... but all the working and overthinking is probably taking its toll on him. The man is breaking down and push... (read in full...)
Why did I have this dream about my ex, where we were laughing and having fun, while in reality I have no positive thoughts about her?
Q. Hello. I just stumbled onto this site, and I need help, with something. I had an awkward dream, involving my ex. I don't know why, but, I was friends with her in this dream. Just friends. And, in the dream, we were playing around (And, we're both...
A. 1 March 2012: Dreams are from your subconcious, when you first met your ex you were probably friends and this dream is reflecting that fact.
As you grew apart and broke up, then had this dream, suggests to me you probably were "reminded" something in waking r... (read in full...)
Should I leave my boyfriend for a guy who I still have feelings for but it never worked out in the past?
Q. Hello:) I'm having trouble with relationships. I was going out with this guy a few years ago, lets call him 'Mat' then I started hanging round with a new friendship group and pretty much fell in love with someone in the group. I didn't do anyth...
A. 14 February 2012: You sound very confused, but my guess is that... if you were with Matt before and it didnt work out as well as it does with Alex, then the "spark" will just fizzle out again with Matt.
If your having doubts about Alex, then it suggests somethin... (read in full...)
I found my boyfriend's logged in on multiple sex sites but he swears it wasnt him, just a hacker using his details. Is that even possible?
Q. ok so here it goes, last year i found something on my bf laptop by accident he was sitting next to me and i asked wat it was,i logged into it coz his face was strange and it brought me to a profile with all his details on a fuck buddie site, logged ...
A. 3 February 2012: He's lying.
Sorry but its the truth.
Let him go.
... (read in full...)
I want to impress him
Q. I wanna impress my crush. I really like him and want him to be thinking of me. I haven't seen him for a long while and I wanna leave him speechless. We always text and stuff so I know he is into me but l just want to look extra nice when he sees ...
A. 3 February 2012: Ok, to look nice... just be yourself.
Thats the most attractive quality :)
Other than that, wear clothes that make you feel comfortable, sexy,natural makeup, and that should attract him more and leave him as you say, "speechless".
... (read in full...)
She is separating from her husband. When can I tell her how I feel about her?
Q. Hello everyone. I have been good friends with a woman for nearly two years. She is married with two young children. I have been divorced for five years with three children. Recently, my feelings have gone beyond the good friend stage and I have...
A. 3 February 2012: You sound like such a caring lovely guy.
I am sure deep down she appreciates you putting her first and giving her that space and support to "recover" from her previous.
From what i gather you both get along great, you have chemistry (flirt) so t... (read in full...)
Frustrated, straight, but considering an offer of a bj
Q. Hey I got a question. Im a 28 year old man living single and my job keeps me extremely busy and always on the travel. Over the last couple years I have developed a male friend shom I met over the internet from a town that is about 40 miles from ...
A. 3 February 2012: If the idea feels uncomfortable dont do it!
Just because your sexually frustrated doesnt mean you dont have other choices.
Also if you make the decision to do this with him you need to be able to enjoy the experience,
but as your hesitating a... (read in full...)
I still love my B/f but I don't feel like I am "in love" with him any more. How do I break it off without causing him too much pain?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 years since I was a senior in high school. Now that I am about to graduate from college. We have had a long distance relationship for most of the time we have been together. Over the past couple of months I've ...
A. 1 February 2012: You cant break up with him without causing him much pain.
If he wants to be with you and fearful of losing you: (which in a way he feels because otherwise he wouldnt have tried manipulating you into feeling guilty)
then there is no way you can ... (read in full...)
I want to get involved with my sister in law who lives with us
Q. The wife of my brother-in-law lives with us. I want her more than my wife and her husband is in abroad. I'm 36years old and living a happy married life. We are living two families together. This means my family and the other family is my wif...
A. 30 January 2012: She's your sister in law... do you really think she would cheat on her husband? under the same household? is she so sex crazed as you are? wouldnt it make things awkward in your family considering the nature of where you live? You say yo... (read in full...)
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