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... Send *tarlights a private message | | | *tarlights's profile:What qualifies me to help people? I say its because i've met people from all walks of life, i've heard all the stories, ive even lived some incredible AND heart wrenching stories myself and I am not type to judge others.
In my spare time I enjoy reading, socializing and writing.
Remember no problem is too big that it cant be solved.
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| Latest articles: The Art of Being Happy!
No replies yet... 25 June 2012: The Art of Being Happy The key we have been given in this life which sets us apart from any creature living on this planet, is that as humans, we have free will to do good or bad. To ourselves or to others. Simply We have a choice. W...
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I have been told my b/f met another girl while I was away, what to do about this?
Q. hey im 15 and ive being with my boyfriend for 3 months i went on holidays about two weeks ago ...when i got back one of me mates told me he had met someone else ..it had to be the girl i hate most ..because she done this to me and my last boyfriend ...
A. 9 July 2009: well firstly u dont know he has done anything.
u need to ask him direct if anything has happened between him & the other girl and take it from there.
dont always believe rumours unless its backed with evidence or from someone u can totally tr... (read in full...)
She kissed me then, now she ignores me -- I'm confused!
Q. Hi :) Before two weeks i went with my classmates to a meeting of the class in a restaurant.But i went there one hour late and a girl from my class came to me and kissed me.She is very shy and this was unusual for her,exept that she was drunk a ...
A. 9 July 2009: maybe she regrets the kiss becoz she was drunk at the time, and now has realised the full extent of what she has done and has regretted it.
maybe this explains why she refused to add u onto her account list.
u wont know unless u ask her... (read in full...)
Late night texts.....does it mean anything?
Q. hello, Three days ago, a guy texted to me at 3 am if I have a boyfriend. I answered later No.The guy who texted me did not text me or phone me till now. What shall I do? Is he interested or not? I can't forget him. Please help me, what shall I ...
A. 9 July 2009: why dont u text him on the random and ask how is he doing?
if he replies, build up a conversation from there, u wont know if u dont take the chance!
good luck!... (read in full...)
Starting to develop feelings for my ex again, but I don't want to end up hurt again!
Q. I have recently just started seeing an ex of mine.. We dated when we were 18 for about 3 months, so nothing major or to serious.. At the time I was head over heels for him.. He was amazingly good looking and had all the perfect things to say.. being ...
A. 9 July 2009: you dont want to jump into this and your being cautious which is good.
i would advise carry on seeing him on a friends basis before moving onto a relationship.
people can change, but u dont want to jump into this on the rebound and get ... (read in full...)
I made a big fat stupid mistake and I'm scared my boyfriend will end things with me!
Q. Hi there Could really use some advice here. I was seeing a guy for a few weeks after Christmas but it was only casual. He left to work abroad for a few months and i met another guy who happened to be in the same crowd as the first guy (i.e they al...
A. 9 July 2009: this guilt u feel will eventually eat u up inside and there is a risk of your bf finding out from someone who may blab to him later.
i think u shud tell ur bf simply becoz there is always a risk someone else may, and u will always have that gui... (read in full...)
I prefer to sit and cry for hours, is this some kind of depression or split personality disorder?
Q. Hello. I'm just having a hard time to smile these past few days. Though I found this site to be very worthwhile I still feel like there's something I lack of. Something I need. It's been months since I've started living alone. My life had been one ...
A. 9 July 2009: we are all multi charactered, split personality crazy kind humans.
it depends on the situation, mood, to what one is brought out in each of us.
sitting and crying for hours could be a sign of depression -but only a doctor can diagnose this, s... (read in full...)
Would I tell him I"m falling for him and would I know if I'm more than a friend?
Q. 7 months ago I've meet a guy, through a common friend. He just broke up with his girlfriend 9 months ago. After meeting him in person, we continue our communication through email,chat and text and sometimes call 'coz we are miles away, and we just ...
A. 8 July 2009: i really dont know how he feels in terms of having a relationship with u but the best thing u can do is tell him your feelings.
its not nice to have these feelings bottled up unexpressed, explain to him how much u really like him.
see what he s... (read in full...)
Update: Is he blowing me off?
Q. I asked this question a few days ago and have an update and I need help: "I've been dating this guy now for over 3 months, not exclusively. sunday he told me I was "growing on him" I asked him what he meant and he said that in the begining it ...
A. 8 July 2009: he's probably seeing other girls or spending time with his mates as he's not exclusive to you.
you just have to wait & see if he gets in touch with u.
if he does get in touch ask him what he wants out of this relationship?
if u find its ... (read in full...)
I have fallen madly for someone who is wrong for me...
Q. Hi I am a 27 gay woman who recently started dating someone. She is 29, attractive, intelligent and we seem to share lots of interests. Normally I would have liked to continue seeing her, but recently I developed very strong feelings for someone ...
A. 8 July 2009: you need to give yourself time before u start dating anyone else.
u have developed an infatuation with the older woman and this will take some time to pass.
you know nothing will ever come between u & her, as she see's you more as a daught... (read in full...)
Should I confess to my boyfriend my insecure moment?
Q. I am now in a great relationship that started off a little bit rocky. I grew to care about him and he went back and forth with his feelings about me as a friend and we dated for a minute before he realized he wasn't in the space to do so, so we ...
A. 8 July 2009: yes moments of insecurity are normal in relationships. we are only human and are prone to impulse behavior. but u do need to trust him becoz trust is the basis on any good relationship. at least u told him your feelings and confessed wha... (read in full...)
Will I regret having sex with someone I won't love later in life?
Q. So I'm 14 and I know I'm kind of young, but I look more like I'm 18 apparently and I've done everything but have sex, and I've been asked many times to have sex and I've always turned people down, but I kind of want to have sex, but I partly also ...
A. 8 July 2009: maybe u will regret it u can never really tell how u will feel in the future. sex is a bonding act, and something that will remain with u for the rest of your life. ideally a moment you should treasure, so do it with someone who loves you !!!... (read in full...)
Will I end up an old maid?
Q. the only guy who has ever liked in my entire life said he is moving to america with his girlfriend is that big thing .he never said how long he stay in america?only one line i am moving to america with my girlfriend to USA and no more and bye . ...
A. 8 July 2009: it is very hard when one gets rejected.
but dont let this 1 experience put you off love for life.
firstly you mustn't think bad of yourself.
just becoz u never had a full relationship with a partner, this is your course in life,
& ever... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time or will things get better as she gets older? He has a child I get jealous over...
Q. Dear All I have been with my b/f for 18 mths now, he's 36 and I'm 28. We don't live together, I live alone and he still lives with his parents. He has a 7 yr old daughter from a short previous relationship. He was only with the mother for a few mths...
A. 8 July 2009: i think u need to think this from everyone's perspective not just think of yourself. remember this poor child is stuck in the middle, and the dad has to put his child first and think of your feelings at the same time. he is feeling the pres... (read in full...)
How can I protect my baby sister from my step dad?
Q. My mum has just had a little baby girl she's only 6 months, im really worried about her future and safety. My step father used to touch my other younger sister (17) when she was only 5.He told her he would kill her if she told my mum. But she did...
A. 7 July 2009: basically if u dont want to report him to mum or social services, u have to be with her 24 hours a day becoz he can do this to her anytime...
it might be years before he attacks her, u cant tell with peadophiles, they are mentally sick!
please ... (read in full...)
During sex with my boyfriend I felt a lot of pain. I need advice!
Q. i have a problem , i had sex with my boyfriend but then i felt alot of pain , so we stopped but since then , i felt pain , after sometime we tried doing it again , but i bleeded,,, i can't seek a doctor over my country,,,,so anyadvice ???...
A. 7 July 2009: pain while having sex and bleeding during sex could be a sign of infection or STD.
go see the doctor and get it cleared up.
good luck... (read in full...)
I've been to the doctor, but do I have an STD or not?!
Q. I thought I had a genital wart about two months ago, I went to my doctor and she said yes it was one and to go to a Gynecologist. I made the gyno appointment and had to wait a month to get in. In that time the suspected wart dissapeared. The gyno ...
A. 7 July 2009: i think u shud go to the doctor and explain that its come back again and reoccuring, they shud be able to do some tests to figure out whats going on, this thing shouldnt be coming and going as it does.
try not to worry, it not life threaten... (read in full...)
I'm scared of getting hurt if I tell him I love him so how should I tell him?
Q. Problem! I am with this guy, i'm crazy about him, think about him all the time, want to be with him all the time. Basically i love him. And i want to tell him that i love him. But 1 - I have only loved once before, but that relationship en...
A. 6 July 2009: ok firstly u say u been hurt before, this is a fact of adulthood.
we've all been hurt or let down by someone in the past.
u have to really let that experience out and put it down to "one of those things" which happen in life.
u might... (read in full...)
Why do men have a problem with me not being "lady like"
Q. Im an full time auto mechanic and I love it but this really bugs my husband for no reason. Sometimes I do little remodels on our car just for fun or cause I'm bored and I usually take off my wedding band to do so (don't want to loss it). Then my ...
A. 6 July 2009: first of all your an inspiration to us girls!
i wish i cud remodel my car! u show them girl!
boys see u as out of the norm thats why they have a problem, they just dont know how to deal with u.
explain to your fiance that your job prevents u... (read in full...)
I wrote a letter to clear everything up before he died but no avail
Q. my husband has passed away leaving me in terrible mess he never told me he loved towards the end even though i let him no i loved him he never said anything i wrote him a letter asking him to clear every thing up between him an i before he died but ...
A. 6 July 2009: im so sorry to hear this.
even tho he never told u he loved u, did u feel love from him?
sometimes some people find it hard to open up with their real feelings towards others.
u wrote him a letter so he knew ur feelings before he died ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to find happiness!
Q. I would love some advice as a single Mum ! My husband walked out on me and my family and is seeing another woman. I was heartbroken. An admirer from my past has telephoned , sent texts and says" he will there for me ". I feel I can never trust ...
A. 6 July 2009: give yourself some time before u run into the arms of another man.
you dont want it to be on a rebound.
enjoy the attention this admirer gives but dont get into it too much,
just try and focus on getting ur emotions back in check, which wil... (read in full...)
Does wanting to leave him because of no sex make me a bad person?
Q. I really wonder , if it s is gearally happening or' Im just alone with this experience. Do over 40 man losing their sex drive usually,or its just me and my husbnand, How common is this? He is totally non sexual. Is this alarming,or the norm? And i...
A. 6 July 2009: yes its normal.
its not bad your wanting sex, but maybe he wont be able to fulfill u that way, so time to get the toys!!
have a talk to him and discuss how ur feeling and go from there. u have options available, not just split up.
good luck... (read in full...)
We need to talk but I don't want to make her uncomfortable
Q. My GF broke up with me a couple months back. To make a long story short, we both began to be unhappy but it was because we thought the other was unhappy with us. I guess you could say it was simply a case of two people being very very close yet ...
A. 6 July 2009: yeah call her and make a date to hav a heart to heart.
if u set a date in mind u can both think of what u can say to each other.
good luck!... (read in full...)
Should I wait for him to heal?
Q. ?? How much is too much?? - my question is.. well i have this crush.. and he's absolutly wonderful. i like him alot and he likes me.. but!! he recently got out of a relationship (as did i) and he's well..(he says)kinda broken from it. but he loves...
A. 6 July 2009: it depends how much he loved this other person, sometimes it takes someone years to get over a previous love, before they fall in love with someone else.
you need to take each day as it comes and be prepared to wait if u really want him more tha... (read in full...)
He had a picture of his penis on his phone
Q. i've been dating this boy for quite a while now, almost nine months- and up until the other day we were quite happy together.. until we had a little arguement, i walked away with his phone because he walked away with my shoe.. and as i walked away ...
A. 6 July 2009: at the end of the day this bf of the user is still young, and i remmeber when i was that age, we was always used to do silly things to each other (like at school guys used to touch girls boobs for jokes) and other acts of randomness which made no ... (read in full...)
Finally moving on from my husband but now he won't leave me alone!
Q. About 10 months ago I discovered my husband was in a relationship with a female co-worker. I packed his bag and asked him to leave. We have a small child so I agreed that he could visit with him every other weekend and stay at our home during the ...
A. 5 July 2009: if your husbands hounding you u can take the matter seriously and file for harrassment.
he shouldnt be coming into your room at early hours and pestering you.
this type of behaviour is not on.
he clearly likes to have his cake & eat it, ... (read in full...)
I slept with my fiance's dad!
Q. I slept with my fiance's dad. Yes, I know what I did was wrong but I was very drunk at the time. Very, very drunk. My boyfriend was away on a training course at the time. I found out I was pregnant by his dad a few weeks ago. I feel a bit g...
A. 5 July 2009: it depends how many weeks pregnant you are.
you must see the doctor as soon as possible and see your options available.
i suggest u think hard before u bring a life into this world becoz being a single parent its not easy.
if you feel str... (read in full...)
What can't I ever let go?
Q. I just wanted some opinions on this subject because Im finding more and more that Im in the minority here. The thing is I really dont understand how people can cut each other out of their lives after a relationship breaks up. When Im with som...
A. 5 July 2009: when we say move on, we mean "mentally" move on, physically moving on is inevitable, that closeness has to end once a relationship ends. of course some people are happy being friends with their ex, that's their choice, and there are some (like m... (read in full...)
I don't know how to fix my life!
Q. i need some advice-hopefully i wont get any nasty comments but if i do so be it. i just need advice. ive recently finished with my ex-i was with him 5 years-5 years too long. in that time he has never visited my family, never called, calls once...
A. 5 July 2009: firstly noone here thinks your bad. nobody is laughing at you. we're all here to help. your going to be feeling terrible because u've been in a relationship which has drained u of energy (not to mention money) the past 5 years. your ex was us... (read in full...)
He had a picture of his penis on his phone
Q. i've been dating this boy for quite a while now, almost nine months- and up until the other day we were quite happy together.. until we had a little arguement, i walked away with his phone because he walked away with my shoe.. and as i walked away ...
A. 5 July 2009: you have to stay calm. if your bf is lying (it sounds like he is as his friend says he wasnt aware the msg)then your have to ask him why he sent this msg to his sister/3rd person. he may have thought it was funny to do something like that ... (read in full...)
Should I give my dad a chance?
Q. hey everyone, well here's the story my dad tried to kick me and my mum out of his house when i was 6 months old my mum fought against it and we ended up staying there until i was around 9 years old, he never had contact with me or mum after he lef...
A. 5 July 2009: to be honest this guy or father of yours isnt worth pursuing. if he really cared he would have made contact and looked after u. he hasnt, he sounds selfish and immature. u need to decide for urself if your father is worth it, given history i ... (read in full...)
I love him but I'm not attracted to him...he has hygiene issues!
Q. Hello Reader's My boyfriend and I been together for 4 1/2 years when I meet him I was only 18 and he told me that he was 26. After a year into our relationship he started looking older then he said he was. After snooping through his wallet I...
A. 5 July 2009: no this relationship definately is dying a slow death. your making excuses about his age, his looks, this means u dont love him for him, and when u feel like that the best thing u can do is walk away from him and give urself a break. u cant... (read in full...)
Does true love really exist?
Q. Maybe this is a stupid question: but I really want to know. Does true love REALLY exist? Can people really love each other FOREVER? Can two people really accept each other and love each other in EQUAL balance- meaning 1 not love the other more or ...
A. 5 July 2009: its a funny one this. whenever i come across happy old couples i always ask them whats the secret of a happy relationship? 9 times out of 10 the old guy responds "always say yes to the woman" in other words treat her as an equal. ive m... (read in full...)
I'm getting married and she wants to be my secret love affair!
Q. first and foremost, i am straight,engaged to a beautiful man whom i have shared my life with for the past 4 years. 2 years ago, i met this really attractive woman at a party, she is my friend's cousin and because she is working in the same line and ...
A. 5 July 2009: you need to listen to your gut instinct. its telling u all this is wrong. if u marry your poor innocent fiance and he find out later down the line (which he will) its going to be alot worser than telling him now what really happened. tha... (read in full...)
Girlfriend doesn have respect for me!
Q. Let me start by saying I am very much in love with my girlfriend, and I believe she is very much in love with me. The problem is I don't think she has very much respect for me. She has a history of lying about little things, she gets upset with me ...
A. 5 July 2009: your gf sounds like she has some serious lack of willpower and issues. unfortunately people rarely change, so u have to weigh up talking to her one more time to tell her how much her behavior has put a strain on u, or u have to give yourself a ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to stay friends when we love each other? We're both married!
Q. hi if you are friends with a married man, you spend time alone together, and your friendship has quite obviously taken a turn towards being romantic; you've both admitted to each other that you want more and that you've fallen in love; he's told ...
A. 5 July 2009: i dont think he will ever leave his wife for you. if he was planning this by now u two would be together. most married guys never leave their wives for the other women, hence why he's telling u not to get too attached. i still say its not worth... (read in full...)
Is it possible to stay friends when we love each other? We're both married!
Q. hi if you are friends with a married man, you spend time alone together, and your friendship has quite obviously taken a turn towards being romantic; you've both admitted to each other that you want more and that you've fallen in love; he's told ...
A. 5 July 2009: im not sure if 2 people who are attracted to each other altho married to other people may be able to stay apart too long.
i mean u guys wouldnt be pulled together if u were both happy in the other relationships.
this is dangerous territ... (read in full...)
Should I just tell her I don't want to be friends because of how shes changed?
Q. Me and my friend have been really good friends for about 3 years now, you could say we are best friends. We've always had so much fun and have always talked about everything and it's been great. Lately however she has changed. She has become s...
A. 5 July 2009: everyone changes as they grow up, and suddenly old friends are not as appealing anymore as they change.
ive had many friends who during school were best buddies but over the years ive let many of them go simply becoz we wont on the same page.
... (read in full...)
I'm so upset and hurt...
Q. I liked a guy a few years ago, though he rejected me when he was drunk about 4 times. He didn't care. He does the same sport as me, I left it for 2 years and I fell behind, now he's away ahead of me and he the same age as me. Now I'll never catch ...
A. 5 July 2009: just becoz some guy rejects you doesnt mean u have to let this one incident ruin your life.
some guys are jerks and its something u have to get over and move on with your life.
you need to start feeling alittle better about yourself by forg... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to tell her how much I like her?
Q. I was on here a few days ago about a girl that wouldnt speak to me, anyway we talked it out and she's started speaking to me again, However is it too soon to tell her how much I like her? What's people opinions?...
A. 5 July 2009: it depends how comfortable u both are as friends.
i would give it a little more time and see how the friendship goes before declaring your underlying love else u cud scare her away.
good luck!... (read in full...)
What could possibly be the problem?
Q. I'm only married over a year and already, to me I feel as if my marriage ruined my relationship. My husband and I are living with family until our own place is ready but we basically just share a bed. There are days we wake up pass each other, go to ...
A. 5 July 2009: you need to speak to him, communication is the key in marriage.
sometimes men dont understand us women so its upto us to tell them what is what so they have the chance to see the bigger picture.
u guys need to have some time alone and talk t... (read in full...)
I'm chinese and my bf is indian, parents would disown me if I married him. What should I do?
Q. I am Chinese and I've been dating my secret indian bf of nearly 2 years . I told my parents about two years ago (I'm 21 now) that I was in love with him and my dad threatened to disown me. So I said I would think about and deal with it myself and ...
A. 4 July 2009: your still very young and altho u love your bf your parents feelings too should be considered.
im indian myself, and i can see wat commotion it can bring, but ive heard of a chinese indian couple who married and have a daughter and still going st... (read in full...)
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