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*ldfool

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My picture is a photo of the Bodhisattva Guanyin (Kannon) taken through the mist. Guanyin is the Buddhist Goddess of Mercy. To quote Wikipedia: "Guan Yin promises to answer the cries and pleas of all beings and to liberate all beings from their own karmic woes". She is also the protector of women and children, a fertility goddess capable of granting children, the champion of the unfortunate, the sick, the disabled, the poor, and those in trouble, and the protector of fishermen, sailors, and generally people who are out at sea.

She is the ultimate agony aunt!

< Prev1234567891011121314Next > [14 pages, 528 answers]

Why doesn't my husband get turned on unless he touches himself? He doesn't respond normally to sex!

Q.   After the initial honeymoon first six months of sex, my husband of 2 years has never been hungry for sex or had a high sex drive. It has bothered me hugely as I love sex and believed he did at first. As time has progressed, it has got fewer and ...

A.   16 May 2008: I am 54, and although I'm perhaps set in my ways, too, I simply cannot understand how anyone can have such an appallingly low sex drive! You never told us anything about his sexual history (maybe you don't know anything about it), but I wonder i... (read in full...)

He likes "golden showers" and has other fetishes. Is this a high sex drive or something else?

Q.   My special male friend loves to masturbate over the phone, he also love for me to pee on him in the shower, and loves to play with my small feet. He usually blows his load 3 times during a 30 min session when we are together. does he have a high sex ...

A.   1 May 2008: He sounds fine to me! He has a high sex drive and a few fetishes. Nothing to be alarmed about. All part of the normal spectrum of human sexuality. Don't worry about it and enjoy him for what he is. (By the way, a liking for Golden Shower... (read in full...)

Why would a man who loves his wife and family keep me around? I want us to be together!

Q.   I have known a wonderful guy for over 20 years -we have been having an affair for 15 years. I have loved him all this time. He has been married with kids all this time - I've been married and divorced twice. Although we have never discussed this, ...

A.   1 May 2008: Continuing with this for 15 years, knowing that it will never go anywhere, can only be described as a triumph of hope over reality. It's tragic that you've given 15 years of your time and emotional energy to a man who can never be yours, and I can ... (read in full...)

Are all guys put off by their girlfriend's sexual past?

Q.   I'm a 19 year old who has been harshly judged by her past. Let's see... I'm now single, I guess. My (ex) B/F left me yesterday, over an issue from my past. Not the first time he's done it. However, yesterday he broke up with me, and today he wen...

A.   1 May 2008: Wow, a girl who sings and plays guitar! I find that sexy! You seem to have the situation in focus. Many men do get upset about their girlfriend's past sexual activities. In this case it's obviously the way things happened, not what happened... (read in full...)

How can I give hubbie a great blowjob, he's too big for my mouth!

Q.   I want to give my husband amazing blow jobs, however, I have a very small mouth (and TMJ on top of that) and my husband has a big cock, so you see my dilemma here! Aside from that I have a shy husband (he's too shy to cum in my mouth, he's afraid I ...

A.   1 May 2008: Glad our suggestions helped! ... (read in full...)

Would you feel a bit rejected, even though it was first night sex?

Q.   Ok guys, if you had amazing sex after a first date after loads of talking. You sent her lots of messages saying how fantastic it was and you wanted to continue with it. But, the girl suddenly backed down a bit and said she was unsure and confu...

A.   30 April 2008: It's the same woman. She had a one-night stand and the guy keeps calling for another date but she's been refusing. She's asked about this situation from a number of different angles. This time she's taking the viewpoint of the man. Best ignore h... (read in full...)

My older BF discusses our most private issues with his mates and makes me feel so dirty by improper remarks! Is this all my fault??

Q.   My bf is 11 years old than me i am 17 and he is 28 he gets very jelous but then he loves parading me in front of his friends. We were in a pub. I bent over to pick up a packet of crisps and he was saying to his mates "that is all mine when ever i ...

A.   30 April 2008: He's treating you not as the woman he loves but as some kind of sexual trophy. Sounds pretty crass to me. I think there's something better out there for you. You're only 17. Lots of men would be delighted to be with you and treat you with respect as ... (read in full...)

Would you feel a bit rejected, even though it was first night sex?

Q.   Ok guys, if you had amazing sex after a first date after loads of talking. You sent her lots of messages saying how fantastic it was and you wanted to continue with it. But, the girl suddenly backed down a bit and said she was unsure and confu...

A.   30 April 2008: How come I get the feeling we've already seen this thread three or four times before in different guises?... (read in full...)

Would you feel a bit rejected, even though it was first night sex?

Q.   Ok guys, if you had amazing sex after a first date after loads of talking. You sent her lots of messages saying how fantastic it was and you wanted to continue with it. But, the girl suddenly backed down a bit and said she was unsure and confu...

A.   30 April 2008: She doesn't want your relationship to turn into Friendship with Benefits. She wants to get to know you as a person, and she wants to make sure you're a serious candidate for the LOVE department, and not just the SEX department. If you really s... (read in full...)

Is this statement meant to protect my feelings (about not having enjoyed the one night stand)?

Q.   My partner had a one night stand recently. I ma not very happy as you can imagine. one comfort though is she claims she did not enjoy it at all and did not have an orgasm with the man she slept with. I find this difficult to believe - is it ...

A.   30 April 2008: By the way, I've had one-night stands too, and I can tell you there are times when I did nothing for the girl. Remembering back, one time I was quite drunk and actually put in a good performance with my pickup date. The girl even came back for... (read in full...)

Is this statement meant to protect my feelings (about not having enjoyed the one night stand)?

Q.   My partner had a one night stand recently. I ma not very happy as you can imagine. one comfort though is she claims she did not enjoy it at all and did not have an orgasm with the man she slept with. I find this difficult to believe - is it ...

A.   30 April 2008: I will only answer your actual question, "is it possible for a woman to have a one night stand and not enjoy it". I believe it is possible. I've had a girl or two cheat on me (for different reasons), and maybe I'm gullible, but I believed them whe... (read in full...)

Check this out for me aunties.. is he in love with this other woman? Was he planning to cheat on me?

Q.   My boyfrend wanted to take a flite back to his hometown to meet up a group of ex collegues who were flying in from another country for work, in particular a girl he used to have strong feelings for when they were working together. they actually ...

A.   30 April 2008: I would say yes. But even if he wasn't planning on actually going to bed with her (which I doubt), the fact is that: * He cared enough about going to see her that he rebooked his ticket twice. * Regardless of his intentions, he has extremely st... (read in full...)

Do you like going down on your girl?

Q.   One for the guys.. Do you like going down on your girl? I ask because you hear of girls' opinions on fellatio a lot more than you hear of guys' opinions on cunnilingus. So guys, how much do you enjoy performing oral on your girl?...

A.   30 April 2008: Love it!... (read in full...)

How can I give hubbie a great blowjob, he's too big for my mouth!

Q.   I want to give my husband amazing blow jobs, however, I have a very small mouth (and TMJ on top of that) and my husband has a big cock, so you see my dilemma here! Aside from that I have a shy husband (he's too shy to cum in my mouth, he's afraid I ...

A.   30 April 2008: I agree with what's been said below. My favourite (as I've mentioned elsewhere) is for the girl to go gently up and down the underside of the penis with her mouth, like she's playing the flute. The underside is the sensitive side. Then suddenly... (read in full...)

He's obsessed with my past, now he's broken up with me again! Do you think he'll come back to me?

Q.   He broke up with me again! He always comes back after a while, do you think he'll come back to me again? Ok, I posted about something like this a few days ago. the thing is he has issues with my past. I really love him, and apparently he do...

A.   30 April 2008: You can find lots of posters on Dear Cupid asking exactly about this issue. It's unfortunate but true that past experience comes to be a sticking point, and a very painful one at that, for many men. Try http://ww... (read in full...)

I'm thinking of having anal sex with a man so I can experience what my GF feels with me...

Q.   I'm thinking of having anal sex with a guy so i can experience what my gf does with me .will i get the same sensation?...

A.   30 April 2008: You sound like an experimenter, maybe a little hot and crazy! If you do this with your girlfriend's permission or in her presence, then that's fine (it's a matter between you two). If you can keep it within your relationship, it might be manageab... (read in full...)

Threesome gone wrong!!! He's always told me he could never be with another women, yet when given the chance he chooses her over me!

Q.   Hello, I have a major problem with sleeping all of a sudden due to something that my husband and I did in the past, about a year ago. My husband has always wanted a threesome with another girl, and being sexually open, I thought , what the heck...

A.   30 April 2008: I've never been in a threesome. But I think it's true to say that a fresh sexual interest is always more exciting for a man than an old one. That's just biology. Men who stay with the same partner for many years have to find ways of keeping ... (read in full...)

Went to a foreign country and slept with 3 male prostitutes. Should I tell my husband?

Q.   I had sex with 3 male prostitutes last week while visiting a foreign country with my female friend. I feel so guilty now, and I want to tell my husband. I know he will most likely leave me though and we have two children, one is just 6 weeks old and ...

A.   30 April 2008: Don't tell your husband. So you had a few prostitutes? Despite the indignation of some of the men here, I'm pretty sure that a lot of men would have done the same thing in the circumstances. And they wouldn't tell their wives, either. So don't go ... (read in full...)

My fiancee wants me to forgive him and accept his baby with another girl!

Q.   Ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years, we are engaged and he is with me everyday, never spent a night away apart from 3 times in the whole 2 years to work. The last time he went away was January and I have just found out he got a girl pregnant. ...

A.   30 April 2008: Looking at my previous post, I think I should clarify that my initial comment was a wry observation on the ways of our supposedly 'monogamous' species. It was in no way meant to condone the behaviour of the man in question. I would go further ... (read in full...)

Can I really move on from this betrayal?

Q.   My husband (then 32) and I (then 35) met 5 years ago when he was at a very low point in his life and had recently left his mentally and physically abusive first wife. It really was love at first sight for both of us and we have had what I thought ...

A.   29 April 2008: Obviously what he did was wrong and you are right to feel deeply hurt. I'm not going to try and defend what he did. On the plus side, however, this almost looks like a textbook example of a sincere person who couldn't live with what he was doin... (read in full...)

My new wife was not completely honest about her sexual past...how can I look at her the same way?

Q.   I am married and recently me and my wife had another conversation about previous partners and experiences. I say "another" conversation because the answer this time around is much different than the first time we talked about it when we were dating. ...

A.   29 April 2008: I can understand your hurt. Not only was she dishonest with you, you found out that what she was hiding was distasteful and distressing to your notions of morality. Is it time to act hurt and indignant and show her the door? Or perhaps you should ... (read in full...)

Would great sex make guys want a relationship?

Q.   Ok guys if you have had mind blowing sex with a girl on a one night stand are you more likely to want to have a relationship with her? ...

A.   29 April 2008: The import of your question is only just dawning on me. I think it's possible to broaden a relationship from the purely sexual to something more. If you talked for hours and you clicked, then there is more than something sexual going on here. ... (read in full...)

Questions about the olympic Games! Why is there so much trouble?

Q.   Hello, I see all the things on TV with the olympic tourch but I dont really understand what the protests are for. What did China do that was wrong and why are people doing this? Why didnt people want China to have the Olympics? Sorry if this is a st...

A.   29 April 2008: I'll answer this question, if it's permitted. From 1644 till the early 20th century, China was an empire. It was ruled by a group of people who invaded from the northeast, known as the Manchus. The Manchu empire consisted not only of the Chinese,... (read in full...)

Would great sex make guys want a relationship?

Q.   Ok guys if you have had mind blowing sex with a girl on a one night stand are you more likely to want to have a relationship with her? ...

A.   29 April 2008: Mind-blowingly good sex... I might think about it. Mind-blowingly intimate sex and a fantastic feeling of comfort being in their arms. I'd definitely be back for more, and seriously consider finding out more about them.... (read in full...)

I know it was wrong but I looked in my girlfriend's phone and I felt destroyed!!

Q.   My girlfriend and I have have been having the time of our lives over the past 8 months. I'm 48 and she's 45. We're both very much in love, and then last week I saw a dramatic change in her. Even in the bedroom she was cold. Something she has alwa...

A.   29 April 2008: Did she tell you why she was suddenly cold to you?... (read in full...)

How can I stop my mouth aching when giving him oral?

Q.   How can I stop my mouth aching when giving him oral? I've been giving my long term boyfriend oral for months now, but I still don't seem to be able to keep going without my mouth really aching. It gets so uncomfortable that I have to stop after ju...

A.   29 April 2008: Giving head doesn't mean you have to keep the whole darned thing in your mouth all the time. Try treating his member like a flute, going up and down the sensitive underside with your mouth. Then suddenly go to the top, come down, and engulf t... (read in full...)

My fiancee wants me to forgive him and accept his baby with another girl!

Q.   Ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years, we are engaged and he is with me everyday, never spent a night away apart from 3 times in the whole 2 years to work. The last time he went away was January and I have just found out he got a girl pregnant. ...

A.   29 April 2008: Having children by other women is not a sin and is not unusual with our species :) But: 1. Having an undeclared woman on the side is a betrayal of trust. 2. Having a child with another woman is a betrayal of trust and commitment. 3... (read in full...)

Why do guys dump a girl after a one night stand? Bad sex, lack of respect...?

Q.   Come on guys. Why do guys really dump a girl after a one night stand? Was it because the sex was bad, average? Or because you didn't respect her? If it was amazing and mind blowing and made you cum would you come back for more? Now be ...

A.   29 April 2008: If two people go into a one-night stand, that's basically it. You both wanted sex. Nobody said anything about a relationship. But I can see how a discrepancy in expectations might arise. For a guy, a one-night stand is purely for the sex. The... (read in full...)

He's 40 years older than me, I'm 17 and I love him.

Q.   Hi! I am just like this girl here too. I am attracted to a guy who is 40 years older than me, i am 17. He is attracted to me too but not for my body. We have alot in common, for example, i am into the era he grew up in which is the 1960s and alot...

A.   29 April 2008: You haven't told us much about this guy yet. What's his availability? Married? Separated? Divorced? Has he got kids? I don't find a 40-year age gap such a problem, but your absolute age is. My personal view on this is that most girls don't know... (read in full...)

Woman on top advice needed!

Q.   Ok my boyfriend of 9months asked me about 3 months ago would i go on top during sex just for a change, i said no cause i havent a clue what to do and he was ok with that.but personally i tried it with my ex and it just didnt work for us. I would ...

A.   29 April 2008: Don't tell him about your experience with your ex. This is strictly between you and your boyfriend. Mentioning specific sexual acts with previous lovers may give rise to unnecessary sensitivities.... (read in full...)

I do love him and want to please him, but I find what I'm doing really uncomfortable. How can I make it easier?

Q.   I've been seeing my boyfriend for about 9 months and we have been "official" for 4. (we're long distance, but I will be home this summer). This is both of our first relationships, so we've been taking things really slowly. I've given a few hand...

A.   29 April 2008: It sounds terribly mechanical. Apart from the hand jobs, what else have you done? Deep kissing? (I hope so!) Nibbling on ears? Kissing the neck? Fondling of breasts? Fondling down there? These things are all incredibly important in love making, ... (read in full...)

Why doesn't my husband get turned on unless he touches himself? He doesn't respond normally to sex!

Q.   After the initial honeymoon first six months of sex, my husband of 2 years has never been hungry for sex or had a high sex drive. It has bothered me hugely as I love sex and believed he did at first. As time has progressed, it has got fewer and ...

A.   29 April 2008: I don't know whether he's gay or not, but It sounds like he finds physical contact with women distasteful. That's why he prefers them "ladylike", which means clean, prim, proper, and totally lacking in bodily functions. What concerns me more, ho... (read in full...)

How can I get more sex from my wife or get her to bring up kids without having to talk to her about it?

Q.   Hi I've been married for nearly over 5 years and my marriage seems to be going downhill really fast. Its been nearly over a year since we had sex and she's alway putting it off with some excuse or another. The other thing that worries me is th...

A.   29 April 2008: The refusal to talk is the problem. How can anything happen while the other party has closed the lines of communication?... (read in full...)

Should I let him meet this girl and just trust him, or tell him if he meets her it's over?

Q.   hey, i need your help. I met a guy of facebook, he lives in my area and we met up and now going out. We've been together a month now, but last Friday he told me that this Friday he's meeting a random girl off the internet for the first time to go "s...

A.   29 April 2008: It's quite possible that nothing is going to happen. I suggest he's still curious about other possibilities. He's going "shopping", but not in the normal sense of the word. Either way, he's not really committed to you in a very serious way if he's ... (read in full...)

I feel so insecure, jealous, like she saved nothing for our relationship, sexually... because of her past!

Q.   Is there a way to detach your feelings from sex because my woman's past makes me look at her in a bad, judgmental way I don't want to feel bad but I feel sick as I can't get thoughts of her with other guys out of my head, its making me desire sex ...

A.   28 April 2008: It's hard to know what to tell you. I was a virgin with my first girlfriend, but she had two years' experience. I was extremely cut up about it. In the years since, I've had more girlfriends, almost all with previous boyfriends and sexual exper... (read in full...)

How do you know the difference between a relationship and casual sex?

Q.   How many times should you sleep with someone before you know it is the real deal and not casual sex?...

A.   28 April 2008: I don't think it has anything to do with the number of times. You can have no sex at all and be in love. Or you can have sex 100 times and it's still no more than friendship with benefits. What's important is the relationship and the commitment. ... (read in full...)

We have a lot in common and he's never ONCE treated me badly, unlike my ex'es. Why don't I love him?

Q.   I have this AMAZING friend. He has truly proved himself to me that he is amazing. I mean most guys wouldn't bother being 'friends' with me if they knew they had no chance with me, but this guy, he doesn't care, he just likes me for me and really ...

A.   28 April 2008: It's funny, why is it that some women crave a abusive boyfriends who will bring them nothing but grief? Why is it that a "nice guy" is just too placid and unexciting to love? ... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend gay, or am I just imagining it?

Q.   Is my boyfriend gay? I'm confused. I have been dating a man 12 years my senior for 2 years now and have serious doubts about his gender preference. He loves to have me come by his place every weekend to 'care for him' and seems to like my company ...

A.   28 April 2008: Whether he's gay or not, he's wasting your valuable time. Get out there while there's still time. Find a decent man who wants to have a family. This one is going nowhere.... (read in full...)

Four women are pregnant because wearing a condom is against my religion. What should I do?

Q.   Let me explain. My girlfriend and I enjoy an open relationship where we each sleep with different partners from time to time. She's pregnant at the moment. It was unplanned. That would not be a problem only for the fact that there are four other ...

A.   28 April 2008: I don't know? What does your religion say? If your religion won't let you wear condoms, I suggest you turn to your religion to help you bear the consequences. ... (read in full...)

Is it ok to put a golf ball in your girlfriend's vagina? Just throwing that out there....

Q.   is it ok to put a golf ball in you girlfriends vagina and the have sex with it still in there and when your done swollow it?...

A.   28 April 2008: 1. Try anything once. 2. In future, don't post this kind of rubbish on this site again. ... (read in full...)

I am getting back into the dating scene after a divorce. How can I ever trust men again?

Q.   I am a 34 year old nurse who divorced her husband just last year. Over the past couple of months, I have been trying to re-enter the dating scene. I joined a dating site and went on a couple of dull dates. Then, almost three weeks ago, I finally ...

A.   28 April 2008: You must be a very heavy sleeper. I can't blame you that this incident has destroyed your trust in men, if not people in general. Unfortunately, what you've encountered is a criminal running a con game. If someone mugs you in the street, you're j... (read in full...)

I've just found out that my girlfriend was an adult movie star, and it makes me feel sick!

Q.   I've just found out that my girlfriend was an adult movie star, and it makes me feel sick that other people have watched her having sex. She is a great girl who all my family love, and my mom has made it clear that she would be happy for her to join ...

A.   28 April 2008: I'm in several minds about this. Just a few points: 1. Romantic love of a traditional type is fine, and we tend to believe in it implicitly when we're still young. But it's sometimes out of touch with the way the world is. We are all so used to ... (read in full...)

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