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*ldfool

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My picture is a photo of the Bodhisattva Guanyin (Kannon) taken through the mist. Guanyin is the Buddhist Goddess of Mercy. To quote Wikipedia: "Guan Yin promises to answer the cries and pleas of all beings and to liberate all beings from their own karmic woes". She is also the protector of women and children, a fertility goddess capable of granting children, the champion of the unfortunate, the sick, the disabled, the poor, and those in trouble, and the protector of fishermen, sailors, and generally people who are out at sea.

She is the ultimate agony aunt!

< Prev4567891011121314Next > [14 pages, 528 answers]

Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.

Q.   Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...

A.   25 June 2008: Glad to see it is working out. The human race is a strange thing. The green monster is such a deep-rooted thing for most of us that it's hard to understand that other arrangements (polygamy, polyandry, polyamory) can actually be accepted by all ... (read in full...)

Does it mean he doesn't love me if he lied about the porn?

Q.   I am torn because my bf of about 8 months looks at porn. I found videos he dowloads, web cams vids and short movies. I am very hurt and feel betrayed. I asked him in the beginning if he looked at porn and he said no. Then i found it on the comp. I ...

A.   23 June 2008: I think you made the right decision. As you may have gathered, I personally think that your feelings about porn are over the top and totally hard line, but since that is how you feel there's not much help for it. That was really the only way to g... (read in full...)

Does it mean he doesn't love me if he lied about the porn?

Q.   I am torn because my bf of about 8 months looks at porn. I found videos he dowloads, web cams vids and short movies. I am very hurt and feel betrayed. I asked him in the beginning if he looked at porn and he said no. Then i found it on the comp. I ...

A.   7 June 2008: I don't think men have a monopoly on lying. At any rate, as far as I can see, this is an open and shut case. He's shown by his behaviour (fibbing and carrying on with his downloading of porn) that he won't change. You've shown that you are abso... (read in full...)

Is it normal for a girl to not like oral sex on her?

Q.   My girlfriend doesn't like me giving her oral sex and is really squeamish about it. I feel as if its because she has a problem with me. I've only gone down town once and that was for about a minute. I've never heard of a girl who didn't like oral...

A.   6 June 2008: Love it! Didn't use to like it so much when I was younger, but now it's my favourite! The flesh down there is sweet and juicy, and you have free range from the love button at the top down to the gates of paradise down the bottom. It's wonderfu... (read in full...)

Is this real oral sex (or just cheating)?

Q.   hey If a girl give you oral sex in condom is that a real oral sex or not....

A.   6 June 2008: Stop trying to kid yourself. It's real sex -- although it is a bit safer than not using one.... (read in full...)

I might be having a baby, but the "dad" is mean to me, should I tell the other guy who is nice to me that the baby is his?

Q.   i had sex about 2 weeks ago and i think i missed my period... the dad treats me bad and only calls for sex. he knows i mite be having a baby but i know another guy who is better to me and i know he would make a good dad. should i just say its his ...

A.   6 June 2008: Whatever you do, don't lie about the paternity of your child. The "nice guy" will be totally shattered if he ever finds out about your self-serving dishonesty. If you don't want babies with nasty men, don't sleep with them. Don't fob your mis... (read in full...)

Is it normal for a girl to not like oral sex on her?

Q.   My girlfriend doesn't like me giving her oral sex and is really squeamish about it. I feel as if its because she has a problem with me. I've only gone down town once and that was for about a minute. I've never heard of a girl who didn't like oral...

A.   6 June 2008: The first thing is to find out what the actual cause is. I'd say she's self-conscious about the odour. Since you've only done it very briefly, it doesn't sound like she finds the sensations too intense down there. To try and get her to let you ... (read in full...)

Does it mean he doesn't love me if he lied about the porn?

Q.   I am torn because my bf of about 8 months looks at porn. I found videos he dowloads, web cams vids and short movies. I am very hurt and feel betrayed. I asked him in the beginning if he looked at porn and he said no. Then i found it on the comp. I ...

A.   6 June 2008: There is so much on this thread that I missed something important: "that last post was kind of confusing, should i confront him for lying about not doing it anymore? I am hurt he did it when he said he wouldn't. i want to know why he lied." ... (read in full...)

My friends keep pressuring me and she's not worth the wait!

Q.   I've been talking to this girl that I met online for more then 4 years now, and practically our relationship is maxed out. But she lives in a different state, and I've never met her. Yet we really really want to meet, we don't talk anymore because ...

A.   6 June 2008: You've got to meet this girl and get her out of her system. You can't get on with your real life while this "virtual girl" is always at the back of your mind.... (read in full...)

Does it mean he doesn't love me if he lied about the porn?

Q.   I am torn because my bf of about 8 months looks at porn. I found videos he dowloads, web cams vids and short movies. I am very hurt and feel betrayed. I asked him in the beginning if he looked at porn and he said no. Then i found it on the comp. I ...

A.   6 June 2008: No, Wizard of Waz wasn't being rude. You've asked us for our advice, and we've given it. People are trying to encourage you to see the bigger picture about men's liking for pornography, including the covering-up aspect. They are also trying ... (read in full...)

Should I give my husband a second chance after he cheated and had a child behind my back?

Q.   March of this year was the worse month of my life. I found out my husband of 5 years, had cheated on me 3 years ago. During that affair they conceived a child. The child is now around 3 years old and I never knew anything about her. I received a l...

A.   6 June 2008: Saritalabonita, you have a magnificent fighting spirit (and a perky photo!)! In time I think you'll stop spinning and come down on an even keel. I wish you the best of luck! Hope you don't mind me mentioning this, but no matter what his sins an... (read in full...)

Can we overcome this? He has issues with my past and my self confidence is low...

Q.   Ok, I'm having a lot of doubts here. Me and my bf have been having problems. We've been together for almost two years, and we're mostly happy. But for ayear or so, there have been issues. It's about my past. I always had this "feeling" that h...

A.   5 June 2008: I think I'm losing my grasp of the English language. "I was a virgin when I started dating him, but I had given oral sex to a friend years before. Aside from that, I only made out with 3 other guys." Exactly what does "making out" with a guy ... (read in full...)

Teenage years...am I progressing fine?

Q.   Hi my name is Danny :) and i am straight:) I am just looking for some advice on sexual activites/things, ok heres the stroy; 1) Me and one of my freinds (a boy) talk alot about girls cause we are both 14 and it come naturally i think to all boy...

A.   5 June 2008: Yeah, when I was at school one of my mates told me that a girl in our class had pulled her panties down in the classroom and said "Look Johnny!" I almost believed him. There's no need to hurry with this. Take your time. Their fingering girls is... (read in full...)

Does it mean he doesn't love me if he lied about the porn?

Q.   I am torn because my bf of about 8 months looks at porn. I found videos he dowloads, web cams vids and short movies. I am very hurt and feel betrayed. I asked him in the beginning if he looked at porn and he said no. Then i found it on the comp. I ...

A.   5 June 2008: First, Heidi328, although your photo is kind of small, wow, you're a looker! Now with that out of the road, I think you've got to sit down and consider your relationship with him. And the big question is: IS HIS LOOKING AT PORN (AND LYING ABOUT IT... (read in full...)

Should I give my husband a second chance after he cheated and had a child behind my back?

Q.   March of this year was the worse month of my life. I found out my husband of 5 years, had cheated on me 3 years ago. During that affair they conceived a child. The child is now around 3 years old and I never knew anything about her. I received a l...

A.   4 June 2008: Tisha-1, from poking around the Internet, I've got the impression that it's quite possible for a woman to name a man as the father of the child, and if the father doesn't contest within a certain time frame, the government goes ahead on the ... (read in full...)

Should I give my husband a second chance after he cheated and had a child behind my back?

Q.   March of this year was the worse month of my life. I found out my husband of 5 years, had cheated on me 3 years ago. During that affair they conceived a child. The child is now around 3 years old and I never knew anything about her. I received a l...

A.   4 June 2008: There's something wrong here. Your husband is not giving you enough information or explanation. Betrayal is very hard to accept, but if the other person is willing to let you know what it was all about, it will at least be easier to understand, no ... (read in full...)

The female orgasm - what is it?!!

Q.   I was reading a book called Seduce Me and it's pretty much just a book about different sex stories/fantasies. In a couple of them, it had said something about the girls coming, too. As far as I knew only guys could really come, so I'm kind of ...

A.   4 June 2008: You need to distinguish between "female orgasm" and "female ejaculation". The female orgasm means the female sexual peak with vaginal muscle contractions, etc. etc. Female ejaculation is rarer and means that some women can shoot out liquid l... (read in full...)

Am I coming too much?

Q.   i split last yr from my partner of 18 yrs now have a new one who has made me feel wrong when we have sex as when i reach orgasm in stead of just a trickle i gush and squirt everywhere could you please tell me is this normal...

A.   4 June 2008: Sorry, I should have said "This man is really turning you on!" Anyway, this is great!... (read in full...)

Am I coming too much?

Q.   i split last yr from my partner of 18 yrs now have a new one who has made me feel wrong when we have sex as when i reach orgasm in stead of just a trickle i gush and squirt everywhere could you please tell me is this normal...

A.   4 June 2008: Wow, this lady is really turning you on! The sexual chemistry must be fabulous! You should be in seventh heaven!... (read in full...)

I really regret what I did to him, how can I make it right?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have met this guy and we have been together for about a year, and through half the year I sexually cheated on him with my ex and lied. I'm not in love with my ex but i am defintely in love with my guy right now. I was stupid and r...

A.   3 June 2008: Well, he feels it's all even now and you feel upset. It was mean of him to do that, but at least he's (hopefully) got the poison out of his system. If you can accept it on that basis, there might be hope for the two of you to go ahead. If you ... (read in full...)

I was happy sleeping with other men to please my husband, but he doesn't want me to anymore.

Q.   after we had been married about five years, my husband told me he wanted me to have sex with other men and he wanted to watch. i told him i didn't want to, but he begged and begged me to do this and i finally told him i would. he brought home a ...

A.   3 June 2008: It kind of sounds like Fanny Hill. You know, totally naive and innocent while engaging in the most amazing debauchery :) If it's for real, well... you're just going to have to try harder. Tell him exactly what you said in your post: "i miss... (read in full...)

I'm worried about the way my girlfriend's vagina looks may have something to do with her past!

Q.   I have a rather strange question to ask here... I am curious about vagina... I have been with a variety of different women (sexually), and up until recently I have always encountered generally the same type(ish) vagina... Usually tighter, snug, not ...

A.   3 June 2008: I've slept with prostitutes. These girls were sleeping with several men a day over a period of several years, and yet some of them had the tightest, neatest little pussies I have experienced. You mentioned that the lips are rather long. I presume ... (read in full...)

This girl wants me to come over, is that slutty?

Q.   I just recently started talking to this girl, we havnt hung out yet but she has already asked me to come over to her house, is that somewhat of a slutty thing to do? I really would like her to be my GF but it seems shes looking just for sex. Btw im ...

A.   3 June 2008: There is an expression: "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth". In this situation, it means accepting the young lady's invitation graciously, without making nasty judgements. I think it might be unfortunate if this young lady had sex with you... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is having trouble letting go of the fact I wasn't a virgin!

Q.   My boyfriend of six months is having troubles letting go the fact that I wasn't a virgin before we started dating. I was totally honest with him when we first started dating that i wasn't a virgin coming out of a year relationship with someone else. ...

A.   3 June 2008: Sorry, that should have read: "For your boyfriend, the most important thing is to overcome these powerful negative feelings by first realising that he is not wrong for having them, then accepting them and going on overcome them."... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is having trouble letting go of the fact I wasn't a virgin!

Q.   My boyfriend of six months is having troubles letting go the fact that I wasn't a virgin before we started dating. I was totally honest with him when we first started dating that i wasn't a virgin coming out of a year relationship with someone else. ...

A.   3 June 2008: I don't really want to comment on other people's advice but I'm going to this time. Collaroy's advice may sound scornful, but if you follow Collaroy's posts you'll find that he's got something really unique to offer. Unlike your boyfrien... (read in full...)

Why do they ejaculate on my belly? Is this normal?

Q.   I am on the pill and recently started having sex. Even though I am supposed to be safe, the boys I've been with still pull out and ejaculate on my belly. My friend tells me all guys like to do this. Is this normal? Is it necessary at all?...

A.   3 June 2008: Actually, there is a special pleasure about ejaculating on the belly/breasts, etc. First, you can actually see and feel the cum shooting out. Inside her you can feel the contractions, but when it's so hot and wet inside there, you don't get as s... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is having trouble letting go of the fact I wasn't a virgin!

Q.   My boyfriend of six months is having troubles letting go the fact that I wasn't a virgin before we started dating. I was totally honest with him when we first started dating that i wasn't a virgin coming out of a year relationship with someone else. ...

A.   3 June 2008: Jealousy over past relationships is something that afflicts guys and is very hard to overcome. I have experience of this. In fact, I have very contrasting experiences that might be a useful reference point. My first girlfriend wasn't a virgin; ... (read in full...)

Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.

Q.   Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...

A.   3 June 2008: Before you start getting the children ready for it, you've got to get your husband's problem sorted out. I would be interested to know what your husband was thinking deep down when he originally suggested this arrangement. His original feelings... (read in full...)

What can I do to rebuild the trust he shattered?

Q.   There's a question here, I swear it. But, as per usual, there's a lot of back story. I'm 27 years old, not overly religious, not a femme-nazi, I don't follow fashion mags, or celebrities...I'm pierced, tattooed, experiment constantly with ...

A.   29 May 2008: Your dilemma intrigued me to the extent that I decided to look around the Internet a bit. It seems that porn nowadays is a totally different kettle of fish from what it was in my day. All we had to look at was dirty magazines, and apart from ... (read in full...)

What can I do to rebuild the trust he shattered?

Q.   There's a question here, I swear it. But, as per usual, there's a lot of back story. I'm 27 years old, not overly religious, not a femme-nazi, I don't follow fashion mags, or celebrities...I'm pierced, tattooed, experiment constantly with ...

A.   29 May 2008: "You are the one who has pushed him into this corner". That was inaccurate. Both of you are responsible, although the responsibility on his side is greater. Your attitude to pornography has pushed him into this corner. But he should not have mad... (read in full...)

What can I do to rebuild the trust he shattered?

Q.   There's a question here, I swear it. But, as per usual, there's a lot of back story. I'm 27 years old, not overly religious, not a femme-nazi, I don't follow fashion mags, or celebrities...I'm pierced, tattooed, experiment constantly with ...

A.   29 May 2008: I can't speak for other people, but my point was quite simple. I don't think he's going to stop looking at porn. I think he has a compulsion, and he can't stop it. It will come back again sometime, and he's going to lie about it. Simple as that.... (read in full...)

Crap first time.

Q.   I'm not the most articulate person, so forgive me if this is a bit poor. When i was fifteen i lost my virginity, to this day i regret it and if i could turn back time i would. Basically it was a really bad experience with a girl that i wasnt eve...

A.   27 May 2008: If you sat down with a bunch of people and compared notes about how each person lost their virginity, you'd find an amazing variety of stories, from the crappy to the fantastic. There's no single way to lose your virginity. It's a kind of "rite of ... (read in full...)

I finally came clean about everything about my past, and he broke up with me

Q.   My ex broke up with me a couple of days ago. It was because I had lied about some stuff from the past, several times. The other day I finally came clean about everything, and he broke up with me as I expected. Of course I was hurt, and of cou...

A.   26 May 2008: He is feeling exactly as he said he's feeling. If you betray a man, you'll find two extremely contradictory reactions: * A feeling of anger, sadness, and hurt. This is what you'd expect. * Very strong feelings of lust (jealousy is also an... (read in full...)

Ive been raped before and sex with my partner is always painful, anything I can do to make easier ?

Q.   i never get ready to accpet my boyfriend when having sex and I am always very dry what can i do. I was raped the first time and ever since then i cant make love without any pain. Are there any drugs that would work ?...

A.   26 May 2008: Are you sure that your partner is up to this? It needs someone patient and tolerant to bring you back to the world of loving. Perhaps your partner needs to consider the concept of sex without intercourse. There are lots of things you can do. If h... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is boring in bed!

Q.   my girlfriend is boring in bed i been going out with my girlfriend now for a year and she doesnt like foreplay. during that year she has given me head/blowjob about 5times! she hates it if i go down on her. she hates it if my penis has been i...

A.   26 May 2008: She won't take her bra off? That's pretty boring! You need to talk to her about this. Find out what the problem is. I guess the bra is because she lacks confidence in her breasts. The refusal to let you go down is because she lacks confiden... (read in full...)

Why do you all have to bow down to the oppressors-why cant you do what you really want?

Q.   i have spent the last two hours reading various responses to the questions on this site and i noticed that in general there is a trend toward condemnation of people who dare to have a different take on sex than what the morality police deem ...

A.   26 May 2008: The aunts on this site are generally sexually liberal but socially conservative. They are very sensitive to people being hurt and quite loath to give advice that might lead to cheating, infidelity, and similar hurtful situations. They thus tend to ... (read in full...)

Is it a sin to be gay?

Q.   I'm not too sure how many people will answer this question but I'm going to give it a try .... does it say anywhere in the bible that it's a sin to be gay? if it does what exactly does it say ?? I think I'm bi and that's why I'm asking .... ...

A.   26 May 2008: Actually, HonningKanin was the first person to actually answer the question by pointing out a specific place in the Bible where homosexuality is (or appears to be) treated as a sin. And notice that she doesn't even necessarily believe in what she ... (read in full...)

The more he says NO, the more I want my HOT neighbour!

Q.   Ok I have never ever done this before! I am always a good girl who hasnt slept with many people. I never sleep around and i always make sure I am proctected. I have this neighbour who i find very attractive! I life at home with my parents and i have ...

A.   26 May 2008: Hey, calm down! This isn't an "American-British" thing. And the people on here all have a lot of experience trying to analyse (sometimes second-guess) what the real problem or motive is. They don't always get it right, but they do try to give adv... (read in full...)

How can he be over me so fast?

Q.   How is it that you're with someone for 2.5 years and break up with them and it doesn't affect your life in the least. We lived together for more than one year. Found out later he was cheating on me the whole time. Is that why he doesn't even care ...

A.   26 May 2008: Words fail me. One day this guy will get what's coming to him. But before that he's going to cause a lot more misery in a lot of people's lives. In a way you should be thankful that he doesn't contact you. All the better to completely forget a... (read in full...)

Am I gay?

Q.   can somebody help me please? im a lad and i think im turning gay because my girlfriend doesnt turn me on. but my friend (boy)when i see him i want to rip his clothes of i am always having sexual dreams and thought about him can somebody give me ...

A.   25 May 2008: Gayness and straightness are fluid kinds of things. In fact, the whole idea of labelling people one way or another (or bi) might be one of the worst inventions of modern times. I personally think it's possible to be physically attracted to the m... (read in full...)

Is life all about religion, or is it about being happy and feeling fulfilled?

Q.   First off, please do not judge my situation. I am involved in a moral and emotional dilemma and am seeking whole-hearted answers, not judgments. I have been involved with a MM for over 6 months. We have known each other for over a year; we work tog...

A.   25 May 2008: I think the story might be called "Virtue", but I have no way to confirm. It's been described as "cynical" :)... (read in full...)

Is life all about religion, or is it about being happy and feeling fulfilled?

Q.   First off, please do not judge my situation. I am involved in a moral and emotional dilemma and am seeking whole-hearted answers, not judgments. I have been involved with a MM for over 6 months. We have known each other for over a year; we work tog...

A.   25 May 2008: It happens. People who are married fall out of love and fall in love with another person. You, our hapless poster, simply exposed the mechanism. You've been accused of causing this shemozzle by confessing your feelings. Well, love affairs and ... (read in full...)

The more he says NO, the more I want my HOT neighbour!

Q.   Ok I have never ever done this before! I am always a good girl who hasnt slept with many people. I never sleep around and i always make sure I am proctected. I have this neighbour who i find very attractive! I life at home with my parents and i have ...

A.   25 May 2008: Oh yeah, one other thing. What happens if he falls for you?... (read in full...)

The more he says NO, the more I want my HOT neighbour!

Q.   Ok I have never ever done this before! I am always a good girl who hasnt slept with many people. I never sleep around and i always make sure I am proctected. I have this neighbour who i find very attractive! I life at home with my parents and i have ...

A.   25 May 2008: I also think that if it's going to happen it's likely to happen when his hormones get the better of him. One day he may let his guard down and think, "Why not?" Do you ever see him away from the neighbourhood? Like, people often get into sexual l... (read in full...)

Too early to be thinking about orgasms but are these sensations usual at this stage?

Q.   My boyfriend and me have recently started out to have regular intercourse-about 7 times up to press. During sex I'm now beginning to sweat, get flushed and make a few sounds of pleasure.I know its far too early to be thinking about orgasms ...

A.   25 May 2008: Since when is it too early to expect orgasms? I didn't know you had to have sex a certain number of times before you could experience orgasm. Just enjoy it for what it is. You're lucky it's so good!... (read in full...)

What can I do to rebuild the trust he shattered?

Q.   There's a question here, I swear it. But, as per usual, there's a lot of back story. I'm 27 years old, not overly religious, not a femme-nazi, I don't follow fashion mags, or celebrities...I'm pierced, tattooed, experiment constantly with ...

A.   24 May 2008: Oh yes, by the way, you've got to stop comparing yourself to porn actresses. You're just going to have to take my word for it that they are two separate worlds. Treat the porn as "fantasy" as Waz says. If you're having it once a day that's p... (read in full...)

What can I do to rebuild the trust he shattered?

Q.   There's a question here, I swear it. But, as per usual, there's a lot of back story. I'm 27 years old, not overly religious, not a femme-nazi, I don't follow fashion mags, or celebrities...I'm pierced, tattooed, experiment constantly with ...

A.   24 May 2008: I've never been addicted to porn, especially if I've got the real thing right there waiting for me! But some men are, and it seems to be a major issue between the sexes. I can't see it being resolved. The issue is very simple: * You... (read in full...)

The more he says NO, the more I want my HOT neighbour!

Q.   Ok I have never ever done this before! I am always a good girl who hasnt slept with many people. I never sleep around and i always make sure I am proctected. I have this neighbour who i find very attractive! I life at home with my parents and i have ...

A.   24 May 2008: Damn, wish you lived next door to me! On the other hand, I might feel a bit nervous, too, if news of our liaison got round the cul-de-sac. You know the old saying about not shitting in your own nest. That's usually applied to romances in the same... (read in full...)

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