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Would you stay in an orgasmless marriage??
Q. Where do I start..... As a single, I was very sexual and had multiple partners both male and female. I met my now husband this way so he knows what my past was like. I have always wanted sex with multiple partners, but for many years I let...
A. 26 June 2008: I felt quite sad reading your last post.
You say you don't know what love is. Maybe he feels that, too. Or maybe he's fallen out of love himself. Whatever the cause, the two of you have a lot of sexual and relationship issues that are causing ... (read in full...)
Would you stay in an orgasmless marriage??
Q. Where do I start..... As a single, I was very sexual and had multiple partners both male and female. I met my now husband this way so he knows what my past was like. I have always wanted sex with multiple partners, but for many years I let...
A. 26 June 2008: The way you put it, he definitely has serious resentments pent up inside.
"Castration" (means he feels inferior and less masculine). Rape (means he's punishing you for your "indiscriminate" sexual desires). "Find nice friends in the park" (means h... (read in full...)
Is it normal for him to want more than one woman?
Q. My boyfriend and I met and fell in love very quickly and knew we could spend our lives together. He told me early that he didn't think he could only see one woman naked for the rest of his life and would like to have prostitutes give him hand jobs ...
A. 26 June 2008: As to your question, yes, many people do crave a bit of sexual variety or extra stimulation. It's not unusual or strange, and it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It's just a desire to look for new stimuli and exciting new things... I guess it's ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting to know how old she was when she lost her virginity?
Q. I am having trouble coping with the fact that my girlfriend won't tell me how old she was when she first had sex. I know who it was with, just not how old she was. I also want to know how many different guys she's been with and who they are. To a ...
A. 26 June 2008: This is not a road you want to go down.
The more you know the more it will hurt. It will become a running saga that will become more real to you than the present.
You'll find yourself thinking: "The time she fucked that guy was exactly the same... (read in full...)
Would you stay in an orgasmless marriage??
Q. Where do I start..... As a single, I was very sexual and had multiple partners both male and female. I met my now husband this way so he knows what my past was like. I have always wanted sex with multiple partners, but for many years I let...
A. 26 June 2008: Well, the problem lies with your husband's poor sexual performance, not your nymphomaniacal desires! :)
His rough sexual play and blaming you for his premature ejaculation sounds like he's angry with you for some reason.
It also sounds like... (read in full...)
Will he ever realize that we're meant to be, or will he forget me?
Q. Dear Cupid.... My ex and I broke up two months ago and I am still devastated. I have cried everyday since. I go out with my friends, see my family and have even been on a few dates! but, when I am driving or in bed I cry. I miss his laughter...
A. 26 June 2008: He'll come back if and when he wants to.
In the meantime, you shouldn't wait. Get a life outside of him and you. You can't waste your life on expectations that might or might not be fulfilled.... (read in full...)
How do I get him in the mood... dressing sexy doesn't work, dirty talk doesn't work, nothing works!?
Q. So my boyfriend says he hasn't been in the mood for sex lately and that the last few times we did it he didn't really want to. He says it isn't me and I believe him. I can easily get him hard, but he just never wants sex anymore. This has been going ...
A. 26 June 2008: I don't know his sexual inclinations, but a bit of gentle sado-masochism might help? Tie him up in bed and tell him you're not going to stop until you've fully taken your pleasure.
HTH
... (read in full...)
Is he into me? Or is he confused? Help!
Q. I have been friends with this guy since I was childhood, he is 21 and Im now 22.I have currently finished with my partner Derek a few weeks now but John is with someone at the moment and has a 1 year old son, I have a little boy myself aged 4. The ...
A. 26 June 2008: He sounds confused. Perhaps you need to give him and yourself a bit more space. I know it's maddening to be in a situation like this, but I think you need to go slowly while he figures it out.
The next time he comes on sexually, you would be withi... (read in full...)
I told her that anything could happen with me giving her a lift! Silence from her. I need feedback!
Q. I asked your opinion before on this subject.. I thought I did well but guess what happen.Im in love w my best friend and we had kissed we spoke a bit about it and whe i asked if she was ok with it she hessitated and then said no...After that ...
A. 26 June 2008: Gay bar? Is she gently trying to tell you something? Is trying to induce you into something?
Frankly, it doesn't sound like she's too keen on your sexual advances. So the gay bar may be either a "friendship thing", or her subtle way of moving y... (read in full...)
Our sex life doesn't satisfy me.
Q. Hello, I really need your help in somethong serious! I have more than one problem! I hate doing the doggy style and my husband loves it.. he asks me almost everytime while we are having sex to bend down so he can do it,,(excuse me for the language ...
A. 26 June 2008: He's too far ahead of you. In his fond imaginings of what sex is all about, he thinks that you should effortlessly follow his lead in every sexual position he feels inclined to try without finding out first whether you like it or not.
He needs to... (read in full...)
This job has been my dream but I don't want to move away, any suggestions?
Q. I'm 16 and going into college for 2 years to study computer programing/website design building. i was having a look at an online game i play sometimes at jobs that they have going. It is really good pay as it's £15k a month. the only problem ...
A. 26 June 2008: I would take the job because you'll regret it down the track and possibly resent her, too, which will also be bad for your relationship. You'll kick yourself even more if you break up anyway!
Isn't there some way for her to move to be with you... (read in full...)
Why do women scream during sex?
Q. does sex hurt or do woman scream because it feels good??(growing teen looking for info)...
A. 26 June 2008: Some scream, some moan, some gasp. Some just purr. There aren't any hard and fast rules, but a bit of noise is always gratifying!... (read in full...)
Would you stay in an orgasmless marriage??
Q. Where do I start..... As a single, I was very sexual and had multiple partners both male and female. I met my now husband this way so he knows what my past was like. I have always wanted sex with multiple partners, but for many years I let...
A. 26 June 2008: Posted my response after an exchange between Daniel Pew and the OP, so my comments might be off the mark.... (read in full...)
Would you stay in an orgasmless marriage??
Q. Where do I start..... As a single, I was very sexual and had multiple partners both male and female. I met my now husband this way so he knows what my past was like. I have always wanted sex with multiple partners, but for many years I let...
A. 26 June 2008: Which is the problem?
1) Your husband's lovemaking is boring and a chore, and he starts getting impatient after 5 minutes.
2) No matter how good your husband's lovemaking might be, you just want multiple sexual partners, that's what you like.
... (read in full...)
My bf gets anoyed, angry and upset with me because when I'm around his friends I am quiet and shy.
Q. My bf gets anoyed, angry and upset with me because when I'm around his friends I am quiet and shy. I find this to be really unfair because I do make an effort and he knows that Im shy so its really hard for me to talk to people who I havent seen ...
A. 26 June 2008: It's probably one of his expectations of the "ideal girlfriend" that she can hang out with his mates like she was one of them.
I can understand what he is feeling, and I've probably been guilty of similar behaviour, although not quite so bad. I u... (read in full...)
Am I destined to a life of sexual frustration?
Q. hi all i am 34 years old and i am so sexually frustrated alot as to be honest, my husband does not satisfy me sexually (we rarely have sex) but i cant help but think, is this the way i am going to feel for the rest of my life, being sexual fru...
A. 26 June 2008: You seem to have mismatched sex drives (sexual incompatibility). When one partner wants it more than the other, it's a bad sign for the future relationship unless you can work something out. I'm not married so I'm not really qualified to advise, but ... (read in full...)
Is this friend a real friend or am I just fooling myself?
Q. it's been about a month that I feel my best friend changing...I don't know really but these last days she's telling me that she's thinking about a relationship with my ex boyfriend and she knows very well that I really liked him so much...and more ...
A. 26 June 2008: She's not changing. She's being honest with you as her best friend. She wants you to know what she's thinking and feeling. Now if she did it behind your back, you would have something to complain about! ... (read in full...)
Does anyone know what being a prostitute is really like? And is it dangerous?
Q. I'm 20 and i have a house, which i'm renting, but i recently lost my job and i owe rent. I also owe money for other things. Someone i know has said they can get me a job as a prostitute, i don't know if i can do it, or if i'm that desparate. Does ...
A. 25 June 2008: Yes, it is dangerous, so you have to be clear-headed and not do anything stupid.
I once had a prostitute who said she could dispense with the condom if I paid extra. That was scary! How many other disease-ridden guys might be availing themselv... (read in full...)
How can I control myself when it comes to guys?
Q. How the hell do I controll myself? If a man comes onto me I cannot help but go along with it! Im not a tart by the way! But i'm starting to get a reputation of being easy. I just cannot say no to a fit lad! Once when I was at a party, I wasn't even ...
A. 25 June 2008: Sorry, that should have read: "unfortunately being nice to guys like this doesn't necessarily raise you in their estimation."... (read in full...)
How can I control myself when it comes to guys?
Q. How the hell do I controll myself? If a man comes onto me I cannot help but go along with it! Im not a tart by the way! But i'm starting to get a reputation of being easy. I just cannot say no to a fit lad! Once when I was at a party, I wasn't even ...
A. 25 June 2008: Wow. Self-respect. Self-esteem. All the buzzwords come out.
Sounds to me like you have a healthy sex drive and poor willpower, that's all. This is fine, except that it's leading to a "reputation", which is a problem.
Your question is real... (read in full...)
Any straight guys know what its like to give a blow job...?
Q. does any curious straight male know what it feels like to suck a cock? Please tell me as I am interested in experimenting with my best mate....
A. 25 June 2008: Go ahead and try it. That is the only way to find out.
I disagree with people who say you are not straight if you want to suck cock. My view on this is that homosexuality is loving people of the same sex. That means loving their bodies, loving t... (read in full...)
Do guys really prefer virgins?
Q. hi everyone. ok i went on holiday a few weeks ago and went on a date with this boy who was a year older than me. within 1 hour it was clear all he wanted was sex.(i didnt give him it!) i told him i was a virgin but he was still eager saying stuff ...
A. 25 June 2008: Many younger guys would prefer a virgin. So do men from narrow, traditional cultures.
Personally, I don't want a virgin. A girl with a bit of experience is better because she is a better lover. If she only knows what I like, she'll never break ou... (read in full...)
My wedding wasn't how I wanted it, and I can't stop thinking about it!
Q. Dear Readers, I just got married and I feel very depressed that my wedding turned out to be very different than i excpected. I had a contract with a famous designer in Kuwait and she totally screwed up, its my fault i didnt check with the design....
A. 25 June 2008: We all know that the wedding is the BIG DAY and I can understand why you are upset about it.
But like all things, it's no use brooding on the past. Everyone makes mistakes, and if we spent all their lives regretting all the mistakes we made we ... (read in full...)
Can't cope with his colourful ex girl/boyfriend!
Q. i am in a new relationship.my dude and i have been together for 2 months and he just revealed to me that he was with a transexual. im so very disgusted and i cant even look at him in the face anymore. should i try to get pass it becus it was in his ...
A. 25 June 2008: When posting questions, try to lay out the facts a bit more clearly. There are transexuals, there are she-males, there are hermaphrodites. There are also transexuals who are in the process of moving from male to female. Your fuzzy explanation ... (read in full...)
Porn or prostitution? Which is worse?
Q. Is porn more degrading than prostitution? Just wondering what peeps opinions are.do you think that been a porn star or working in a brothel is more degrading? serious answers please...
A. 25 June 2008: DiovanLestat, the bigger point is that this is a board for people with personal issues that they seek advice on. This is a completely idle question of the kind that can be found on any bulletin board or forum ("Which is worse, Jennifer Lopez or ... (read in full...)
Porn or prostitution? Which is worse?
Q. Is porn more degrading than prostitution? Just wondering what peeps opinions are.do you think that been a porn star or working in a brothel is more degrading? serious answers please...
A. 25 June 2008: I think this is a frivolous question and the poster is talking through his hat. You know nothing about these industries or what people do in them, and neither do some of the aunts shooting off their opinions.
You're starting from the proposit... (read in full...)
I want to sleep with my sister in law!!
Q. I want to f**k my sisterinlaw, but I don't know how to proceed. It's just that she's so sexy!(and sweet) Everywhere she goes she wears a thin, low cut shirt of some time and no bra. I can see her nipples through her shirt. Her boobs are huge. I've ...
A. 25 June 2008: Excellent!... (read in full...)
I hate feeling like this because I feel like I'm a bitter prude...so please help me.
Q. I hate teen sex comedies. I actually hate the way sex is presented in most western media. And I want to get over this, I want to be ok with it, I wanna enjoy it if it's possible. For example, all this "American Pie" things... where regular ug...
A. 25 June 2008: I don't know where you live, but you are perfectly right in your perceptions. I think you have a great mind for seeing through all this rubbish. In fact, you are the kind of girlfriend that a lot of guys would love to have!
The fact is that all... (read in full...)
If I loose weight, will it help me attract guys?
Q. People tell me that I'm not fat, but I would like to lose some weight because the extra pounds on me revolt me. I am going to, for the sake of my health as well as attracting guys, but what I wonder is: if I were to lose weight and improve my ...
A. 25 June 2008: Go ahead and lose that weight. It will not only attract more guys (who I think for the most part prefer slim over plump), but more importantly it will make you feel better about yourself and THAT will definitely attract more guys!
To the moderato... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 25 June 2008: Glad to see it is working out. The human race is a strange thing. The green monster is such a deep-rooted thing for most of us that it's hard to understand that other arrangements (polygamy, polyandry, polyamory) can actually be accepted by all ... (read in full...)
My husband gets firm erections in his sleep. But he can't get one with me!
Q. My husband gets firm erections ,in sleep. But he can't get one with me,or not when he tried masturbating just to try it, how it works. So it looks like something is not ok with his sexual desire, or he shot it down,for some unknown reason.He is sure ...
A. 24 June 2008: I've tried Viagra and it definitely makes a difference. The beauty of it is that when a man is feeling sexually aroused, he gets a hard-on. He doesn't need to keep checking that it might have gone down while he was performing. On the other hand, if ... (read in full...)
Why do nice guys finish last?
Q. I would say I fall into the 'nice guy' catagory and yet everytime I ask a girl out (and I've done this many times) they say no and end up with some jerk who just wants to use them. I don't even think there is anyone even remotley interested in me. H...
A. 24 June 2008: The question that occurs to me is, what kind of girls are you asking out? Are they the nice girls or are they those bitches that so many guys are secretly attracted to? :)
Another problem is that "nice guys" too often come across as insipid.... (read in full...)
Does anyone know what being a prostitute is really like? And is it dangerous?
Q. I'm 20 and i have a house, which i'm renting, but i recently lost my job and i owe rent. I also owe money for other things. Someone i know has said they can get me a job as a prostitute, i don't know if i can do it, or if i'm that desparate. Does ...
A. 24 June 2008: You should check out this thread:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-enjoy-being-a-prostitute-this-much.html
There is an aunt on that thread who has been working in the industry for 40 years. She has very good advice.... (read in full...)
Who here is against recreational sex? Any antisexuals?
Q. I know several asexuals but only a handful of antisexuals. It's disheartening that I often feel I am alone on this. While asexuality is gaining acceptance, people ridicule those who are against sex. The only sex I am not against is proc...
A. 24 June 2008: What the hell is an anti-sexual?
You mean that you won't ever have sex with your wife unless you're planning to have a baby?
If you can find someone who is opposed to having sex, too, go ahead. But don't complain if you marry a person with heal... (read in full...)
I want to sleep with my sister in law!!
Q. I want to f**k my sisterinlaw, but I don't know how to proceed. It's just that she's so sexy!(and sweet) Everywhere she goes she wears a thin, low cut shirt of some time and no bra. I can see her nipples through her shirt. Her boobs are huge. I've ...
A. 24 June 2008: The straight answer is:
"I want to f**k my sisterinlaw, but I don't know how to proceed" is your question. I'm not sure why you are asking. It's quite clear she is interested in you. Proceed any way you want. What are you waiting for?
The cor... (read in full...)
How can I ask my boyfriend to perform oral on me?
Q. What is the best way to get my boyfriend to perform oral on me? I'm not sure if he doesn't want to or if he's shy about it?? I just don't know! I preform oral on him and don't get it in return... and i really want him to do this. Any advice on ...
A. 24 June 2008: There are plenty of men who don't like oral sex with a woman.
If he doesn't like it, this is a difficult one.
One suggestion: Ask him to very, very lightly tongue you from the tips of your toes to your forehead. The licking action itself sh... (read in full...)
Does it mean he doesn't love me if he lied about the porn?
Q. I am torn because my bf of about 8 months looks at porn. I found videos he dowloads, web cams vids and short movies. I am very hurt and feel betrayed. I asked him in the beginning if he looked at porn and he said no. Then i found it on the comp. I ...
A. 23 June 2008: I think you made the right decision.
As you may have gathered, I personally think that your feelings about porn are over the top and totally hard line, but since that is how you feel there's not much help for it. That was really the only way to g... (read in full...)
I'm fed up with my boyfriend and his sexual carry-on!
Q. I'm fed up with my boyfriend and his sexual carry-on. We've been living together for almost a year and have sex only once every two months. To make matters worse, he is absolutely obsessed with porn. Every day after he comes home from work he spends ...
A. 13 June 2008: I feel for you. I like a little porn now and then, but it's nothing more than an appetiser. It can never compare to the main course.
Of course, I wasn't brought up in the Internet era. We oldsters could only buy dirty magazines and movies i... (read in full...)
I suffer from a tremendous amount of guilt and shame for having sex before marriage! Will guys hate me?
Q. I feel rather confused. I've always believed in God (Im a Christian/Anglican) but have never really been to church much but still believe in God and also the morals and values from my religion. To me thats the main thing that draws me to it, I ...
A. 13 June 2008: troubledtoomuch has it right.
There are at least two things here. One is your feelings of guilt as a Christian.
The second is how the guy is going to react. I put up a post about the psychology behind some men's negative reactions to fin... (read in full...)
My wife confessed she has cheated several times before our marriage!
Q. my wife of one year has confessed to me that he has slept with several guys in the hotels around the city before our marriege. she boldly narrated to me how the sex sessions went on between them to her delight. Now i no longer have trust for this...
A. 12 June 2008: The way she boldly related the details of her sex sessions sounds like she might be trying to turn you on, with jealousy. Or else she is trying to get rid of you. Very hard to know what to make of your situation. Most wives don't come out and relate ... (read in full...)
I'm female and I watch lesbian porn. does this mean I'm bi?
Q. I am a straight female and I watch lesbian porn, it turns me on and I of course when I first started doing it I wondered why I did. I've been dating this guy for 4 years and everything was perfect up until 3 months ago. My brother told me he was gay ...
A. 12 June 2008: You sound great to me!... (read in full...)
I suffer from a tremendous amount of guilt and shame for having sex before marriage! Will guys hate me?
Q. I feel rather confused. I've always believed in God (Im a Christian/Anglican) but have never really been to church much but still believe in God and also the morals and values from my religion. To me thats the main thing that draws me to it, I ...
A. 11 June 2008: I don't think that comparison with previous men is necessarily most the important factor for men. That seems to be a peculiarly female perspective.
The thing that hurts men is more related to "sexual politics". A man doesn't usually have an oppor... (read in full...)
I suffer from a tremendous amount of guilt and shame for having sex before marriage! Will guys hate me?
Q. I feel rather confused. I've always believed in God (Im a Christian/Anglican) but have never really been to church much but still believe in God and also the morals and values from my religion. To me thats the main thing that draws me to it, I ...
A. 7 June 2008: I'm just trying to think. Is there somewhere in the Bible that says you have to be a virgin at marriage? Just curious.
There are an awful lot of things that people equate to Christianity that are simply conventional social morality and have not... (read in full...)
Does it mean he doesn't love me if he lied about the porn?
Q. I am torn because my bf of about 8 months looks at porn. I found videos he dowloads, web cams vids and short movies. I am very hurt and feel betrayed. I asked him in the beginning if he looked at porn and he said no. Then i found it on the comp. I ...
A. 7 June 2008: I don't think men have a monopoly on lying.
At any rate, as far as I can see, this is an open and shut case. He's shown by his behaviour (fibbing and carrying on with his downloading of porn) that he won't change. You've shown that you are abso... (read in full...)
Does it mean he doesn't love me if he lied about the porn?
Q. I am torn because my bf of about 8 months looks at porn. I found videos he dowloads, web cams vids and short movies. I am very hurt and feel betrayed. I asked him in the beginning if he looked at porn and he said no. Then i found it on the comp. I ...
A. 6 June 2008: There is so much on this thread that I missed something important:
"that last post was kind of confusing, should i confront him for lying about not doing it anymore? I am hurt he did it when he said he wouldn't. i want to know why he lied."
... (read in full...)
Does it mean he doesn't love me if he lied about the porn?
Q. I am torn because my bf of about 8 months looks at porn. I found videos he dowloads, web cams vids and short movies. I am very hurt and feel betrayed. I asked him in the beginning if he looked at porn and he said no. Then i found it on the comp. I ...
A. 6 June 2008: No, Wizard of Waz wasn't being rude.
You've asked us for our advice, and we've given it. People are trying to encourage you to see the bigger picture about men's liking for pornography, including the covering-up aspect.
They are also trying ... (read in full...)
Does it mean he doesn't love me if he lied about the porn?
Q. I am torn because my bf of about 8 months looks at porn. I found videos he dowloads, web cams vids and short movies. I am very hurt and feel betrayed. I asked him in the beginning if he looked at porn and he said no. Then i found it on the comp. I ...
A. 5 June 2008: First, Heidi328, although your photo is kind of small, wow, you're a looker!
Now with that out of the road, I think you've got to sit down and consider your relationship with him. And the big question is: IS HIS LOOKING AT PORN (AND LYING ABOUT IT... (read in full...)
Problems in my polyamorous relationship with one partner. I need advice.
Q. Hi can anyone help me? Im in a polyamory relationship, but my one partner is driving me to dispair. He thinks that because i were with him 1st he should take priority over my other lover. His jelousy is pushing us apart not bringing us clos...
A. 3 June 2008: Before you start getting the children ready for it, you've got to get your husband's problem sorted out.
I would be interested to know what your husband was thinking deep down when he originally suggested this arrangement. His original feelings... (read in full...)
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