A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Come on guys. Why do guys really dump a girl after a one night stand?Was it because the sex was bad, average? Or because you didn't respect her?If it was amazing and mind blowing and made you cum would you come back for more?Now be honest. An interested females reader would like to know.
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female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (16 May 2008):
 It is often mutual the feeling of only wanting some fun for one night only. If both of you get a buzz from that, and there is no suggestion of anything more in advance, then there is no hurt and no dumping. If you see where I am coming from, nothing to be dumped from.
Believe me it is not only men who want a one night stand. By defenition, women want that too, or else it wouldn't happen.
For some reason, women are expected to only ever have one ever one night stand, and have regrets. Blame the man for seducing her etc etc. After all, if you didn't want the sex, you wouldn't have agreed to be with the guy!
I bet you got a buzz out of the situation really, you just don't want to admit it.
Don't feel bad, I am sure you knew what you were doing and wanted.
from Fiona
A
male
reader, WastedLife  +, writes (2 May 2008):
I'm a guy, and this makes no sense. I really appreciate a woman that will have sex the first night, and I won't sleep with her unless she is someone that I really want to be with. The only times I have actually had a one night stand is where the woman didn't want a second night. Generally, I really appreciate that someone will sleep with me immediately and I get really connected to her. I don't care whether or not I get an orgasm as much as I care that she has a really good time, and I regard it as a love connection between us. The woman I have loved the most in my whole life is someone that seduced and slept with me immediately, and I love her to this day. We have known each other almost 20 years and though she left me after 4, we have been together off and on since then. I would marry her in a heartbeat if she would let me, but she doesn't want that. I have never liked the chase or the seduction game, and really just want someone that will be there - beautiful, hot, sexual, loving and intimate with no drama. And yes, I like sex AND intimacy at least as much as the next guy - maybe a lot more. And I love women who care enough to connect.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): Probably because if they're willing to have a one night stand, they want sex and not a relationship! Otherwise you would have taken things more slowly.
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A
female
reader, PreciousNY +, writes (29 April 2008):
A guy will never see a "one night stand girl" again because if a girl is willing to sleep with him during the 1st day in which they met, he is going to tell himself that you are not worthy of a "relationship." And if you'd slept with him on the 1st night, you probably have with others before and will probably continue to do so. Men will view you as cheap and lack of respect for yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): If I don't see a girl after the first night, it is because I recognized things in what she said that I know I'd have problems with her later.
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A
male
reader, oldfool  + ♥, writes (29 April 2008):
 If two people go into a one-night stand, that's basically it. You both wanted sex. Nobody said anything about a relationship.
But I can see how a discrepancy in expectations might arise.
For a guy, a one-night stand is purely for the sex. There is no expectation of any future relationship. For a woman, there may be expectations (rather unrealistic) that the relationship might continue if the sex was good.
Actually, I've been in a one-night stand with a woman where I was dumped. She was very open about going home for sex, and it was an amazing night (I came five times). I called her again after that, but never succeeded in getting another date, even though I really fancied one. For the fantastic sex, of course, but it could have led to more. In the end she just hung up when I called. So it's not necessarily only the man who dumps the woman.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): I think it is because that is all some guys want. They just want a "one night stand" as in one off sex just the once - nothing more. If women have one night stands and then expect more perhaps they are putting themselves up for dissapointment as if more followed than it wouldn't have been a one night stand!
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (29 April 2008):
 Hi,
I'm a little different. I never had a one night stand just for sex only. I never ever once turned down another offer (actually once I did but that WAS because the sex was so unbelievably bad) and more often than not would find that it was the girls who were just interested in the one night stand only.
I find it amazing that we humans treat each other so disdainfully, we can share an intimate moment with the full intention of ridding ourselves of that same person at the first opportunity - I have never been able to figure that out.
But I know I'm not like 99% of other people( including my wife), it is true one night stands are just that - for sex only. My wife always says that if we had sex the first night we met we would never have gotten married as she would only have been interested in the sex not me.
Your question about making a guy cum is no big deal I'm afraid. The unfortunate fact is , even with bad sex a guy can cum.
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A
male
reader, troubledtoomuch + ♥, writes (28 April 2008):
 I agree with Phil. I had a 1 night stand once in my life and that was all that I intended it to be from the start. Why didn't I do it again? Because I didn't feel very good about it and the sex wasn't nearly as good as it was with women who I wanted to have some kind of relationship with.
The 2 women who were my most memorable partners were my wife and another woman who I dated 28 years ago. I made no move to get them into bed on the first date, but I did on the 2nd date. I later discovered that my wife wanted to go to bed with me on the first date, but appreciated me for not trying. The other woman gave me signs that she wanted to have sex with me on the first date also. I did not disrespect either of these women because they wanted to have sex with me on the first date. I could have married either one of them. I did have trouble accepting my wife's previous behavior because of her previous one night stands that she picked up, not because she slept with a nice guy on the first date. Sometimes a woman is looking for affection and sex is her best ticket to try to find it. After a few failed tries, she realizes that sex is not a valid ticket to affection.
As Phil said, if you allow yourself to get picked up and taken to bed 2 hours later, you have to understand that 90% of the time the guy only wants sex from you. Maybe a few dates for fun and sex. Not always, but most of the time.
How long you hold out does not tell how good of a relationship you will have. If you have a date with a guy and are treated really nice and the guy doesn't just seem to want to drag you into the bedroom as soon as you get into the house, then sleep with him on the first or second date if that is what you really want. He may be after the same love and affection that you are after and not just out for sex.
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A
male
reader, Uncle_Phil + ♥, writes (28 April 2008):
 A one night stand is a sort of challenge. Will she? Won't she? If she won't, well - let's give it another go in a couple of days time and see if we make any more progress. If she will, great. Empty the ol' ballbag into her and look for the next challenge.
For a bloke, there's no such thing as bad sex. It's all good. Amazing and mind blowing doesn't usually happen during a one night stand. It's just the mechanical act. Suck her tits, feel her up, a few ins and outs and blow your wad and that's it. Somewhat better than a wank.
Respect? One a one night stand? You've got to be kidding! It's a quick fuck, no more and no less. And thank you very much. And a bloke ALWAYS cums!
Can I assume you've been brushed aside after allowing some jerk to play with your body about two hours after you met him?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 April 2008):
 I'm with Dusky, you are certainly long enough in the tooth to know the answers to your questions.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Because women are cheap enough to put it on a plate without thinking about the consequences. If they want a long term relationship, then they have to respect themselves and hold out as long as possible, that way the guy does not get the wrong impression. Plus you are likely to catch STD, come on love you are old enough to know this surely!!!
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A
male
reader, rproctor +, writes (28 April 2008):
Lack of respect... In my opinion at least. If a girl sleeps with me after one night, the first question I ask myself is, wow, how many other blokes did she shag before me...
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  + ♥, writes (28 April 2008):
 You can't be dumped after a one night stand because there is nothing to be dumped from. By its very nature a one night stand is a one-shot deal.
Perhaps you mean why do men end a 'friend/courtship' once sex has happened?
Or why do men not continue a one night stand into a relationship.
Simple, because that is not what they are for.
Sex that made you cum? We are men, it got to be very bad indeed for us men not to cum. It is women who have troubles in this area, not men. If she is REALLY good of course we want more. But only on the same terms. In general you do not have one night stands with girls you are intrested in longterm. For that matter, guys looking for longterm relationships do not have one night stands.
Your mother was right, if you give the milk for free nobody is going to buy the cow.
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