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My wife cheated on me... and it's on tape... but I love her. What do I do?
Q. I am 31 I’ve been married for almost 4 years and I known my wife for 6 years and we have a beautiful 3 years old girl, and we have a second one on the way, but I have learn something very horrible and I do not know what to do, I truly love my wife ...
A. 18 November 2008: Look, it's a hoax. Can't some moderator take it down?... (read in full...)
Husband open with me about having sex with other men !!
Q. Hello Again, I have posted before and you guys gave me very valuable and insightful information.... but I am still wondering if I am doing the right thing. I have been married for 25 years, have 3 children + 2 foster boys that are all freshmen...
A. 18 November 2008: Of course it is possible to have a relationship as deep and trusting as you do but him still be able to go out and have his "meetings"! There are many things possible in human relationships. There are people who practise polyamory, polygamy, ... (read in full...)
Confused and wondering what is next!
Q. I am a 31 year old guy who has been in a steady relationship for 3 years with a woman who has a young daughter. I have grown close to her and especially the daughter.. The father is not involved in her life at all and never has been so she sees me ...
A. 17 November 2008: Just an extra note, this speaks volumes about you: "I for some reason or another find it hard to say goodbye in life though..I get this overwhelming feeling like 'wow, all that time and effort and intimacy, just gone in a flash' and then on to the ... (read in full...)
Confused and wondering what is next!
Q. I am a 31 year old guy who has been in a steady relationship for 3 years with a woman who has a young daughter. I have grown close to her and especially the daughter.. The father is not involved in her life at all and never has been so she sees me ...
A. 17 November 2008: Thanks for telling us a bit more about this.
I am very sure that only someone who is generous and noble of spirit could be so good as you are to her. That is why you are in this situation. Sometimes our own goodness can be our own worst enemy. I... (read in full...)
Confused and wondering what is next!
Q. I am a 31 year old guy who has been in a steady relationship for 3 years with a woman who has a young daughter. I have grown close to her and especially the daughter.. The father is not involved in her life at all and never has been so she sees me ...
A. 16 November 2008: OK, now you've given us some more detail, I think I can see the problem. This is something that a friend of mine warned me about many years ago. I didn't take any notice of what he said and have paid dearly for my mistake. The problem lies in your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't talk to me because I refuse to have sex, what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend wants to have sex and I dont because hes not willing to wear a condom. If we're alone he'll pull me close, kiss me we usually start to make out and take off our (just a shirt or something) clothes and he'll try to remove my bra (Im ...
A. 16 November 2008: The idiot isn't qualified to be with a woman. He got what he deserved. I doubt if the next girl will have him, either. He obviously hasn't got a clue. Good riddance!... (read in full...)
Any pranks to play on my brother? Please help me
Q. I hate my brother. Hes younger than me, but bigger. Fatter. He cant move fast but he throws a mean punch. Mainly at me. For years I have been putting up with it, I have to, my parents dont believe me. Infact recently my dad forgot my 16th birthday a ...
A. 16 November 2008: My goodness, you sound like a female Harry Potter!... (read in full...)
Confused and wondering what is next!
Q. I am a 31 year old guy who has been in a steady relationship for 3 years with a woman who has a young daughter. I have grown close to her and especially the daughter.. The father is not involved in her life at all and never has been so she sees me ...
A. 16 November 2008: My feeling is this: This woman wants the "good bits" without the "bad bits".
I don't know about your decision-making process, how you decided on buying the house, etc. Didn't she know where the house was before you got it ready? Maybe you're a... (read in full...)
I have been so down this week and its all to do with him and what he is capable of...
Q. Right I haven't done this for a while, it's actually weird being on the other end so to speak... I'm going through a hard time at the moment, My ex husband (please no one say just get over it its not that simple I wish it was) yes my ex husband well ...
A. 16 November 2008: Mandy, thank you for sharing that with us. You've come on and given very sympathetic advice to posters. I knew that you'd had problems with your marriage, but never suspected it was as bad as this. Your story is as terrifying as any Hollywood movie ... (read in full...)
I could have sex every day while he only wants it once a week at the max!
Q. I am having HUGE relationship problems with my boyfriend of four years. I could have sex every day while he only wants it once a week at the max. I have tried everything I and others can think of to make him more interested but it seems it is ...
A. 16 November 2008: It could be very difficult. He has a lower sex drive than you. I don't know how old he is, but once a week is rather low. I'm in my 50s, and 3 times a week is about right for me (my sex drive is neither high nor low, I think).
Mismatched sex driv... (read in full...)
My brother is mad at me because I slept with his wife. How can I make up it to my bro ?
Q. My brother is mad at me because I slept with his wife, I lived with them cause my girlfriend kick me up for cheating on her. My bro beat the sh!t out of me (he gave me a black eye) and throw me out. I think he's divorcing her now, He hasn't talked ...
A. 16 November 2008: You are a cheat. You cheated on your girlfriend. You slept with your brother's wife and broke up their marriage.
Now unless this thing runs in the family and your brother is as much a low-life as you, I can't see much chance of forgiven... (read in full...)
A survey on family household stuff...for school, and I need your answers.
Q. Hey guys! I'm doing a survey in school + need as many people as possible to take part, it's okay if it's not allowed to be asked on here.. but if it is, could you please answer these questions with who you think should do these things? m = man, w = ...
A. 16 November 2008: Wash the dishes: b
Laundry: w
Vacuuming: w
Feed the baby: b
Change a light bulb: b
School run: b
Put up shelves: handyman
Fix the car: mechanic
Cook: w
Put the children to bed: b
Work full time: b
Of course, I'm not married! If she coul... (read in full...)
He's loving when we are alone and ignores me when we are with his family
Q. I know I'm in love, what about him? He don't talk to me when his family is around. Walks away when I come near him. Hardly txt's me. Cut our convo short. Don't tell when he is in trouble. don't talk to me about his life but when its just the two ...
A. 16 November 2008: I suspect he's kind of embarrassed in front of his family. Are his family big on showing affection? Or do they tend to be stand-offish? When I was younger, I was also rather shy about showing affection for my girlfriend in front of family.
The w... (read in full...)
Caught my daughter masterbating
Q. I caught my daughter masturbating at her room with a dildo,and she was orgasming, she then noticed me and went to the bathroom crying. What should I tell her?...
A. 16 November 2008: Show her your own dildo, tell her "This is mine, it's much better".... (read in full...)
Is it normal to enjoy giving BJ?
Q. is it weird to enjoy giving head? my boyfriend says its strange for a girl to enjoy giving a blowjob, but i really do, although i hate the taste when he cums, i love actually doin it.. is it normal? ...
A. 16 November 2008: There are women who don't like giving head, so your boyfriend is not entirely wrong. But to say that "it's strange for a girl to enjoy giving a blow job" is quite wrong. Are women seriously only supposed to like kissing and vaginal intercourse?... (read in full...)
Burning questions about guys and your erections!
Q. Hey guys, I really want to know all about erections; a)How does it actually exactly feel when one has an erection?! b)What can a woman do to make it feel better? c)What NOT to do...? d) Are there different types of erection? Thanks...
A. 15 November 2008: An erection gives a very full feeling. If you get a full erection it can ache a little (not intensely) because your penis is straining so hard :)
It feels sensual and sensitive, longing to be touched. And as you get closer to coming it feels ve... (read in full...)
I'm 8 months pregnant and my boyfriend won't quit lying or seeing girls.
Q. I am almost 8 months pregnant with my first child. I have only been with the father for 10 months. I know it happened fast.. but I wanted to keep the baby and I couldn't be happier. It's a girl. :) Since i've been with Richie he has done nothing but ...
A. 15 November 2008: This guy is not ready to settle down with you and is not able to do the right thing by you. There is no way a person who loves you and is committed to you is going to act like this. One day one of these girlfriends is going to attract him from your ... (read in full...)
My husband has always had porn in his life and I'm aggravated and tired.
Q. i'm tired and confused and need help. i've been married for 15 years, my husband has always had porn in his life since i've been with him, everytime i find it i cry i get furious and he says he'll stop and does for maybe a week or 2 till i find ...
A. 15 November 2008: You have vented. Now I will tell you my opinion.
I agree with the previous posters that he has an addiction. I don't believe that women should get too upset if their guy likes to look at porn, but this man of yours goes way beyond reasonab... (read in full...)
Would 7 inches be too painful for the girl if we had sex?
Q. I'm 16. When erect, my penis is just over 7 inches (1 inch over average). I was watching a program tonight about the worlds biggest penis and it said that women can be hurt from deep penetration if the penis is too big. Would 7 inches be too pain...
A. 15 November 2008: 7 inches is ideal. Not too big, not too small. If you believe the stats, it's just slightly above average. You have nothing to worry about.
By the way, virgins telling you that 7" would hurt, and guys saying they'd prefer 10" if they were a g... (read in full...)
Do me and this man (my teacher) really talk in metaphors? Opinions please.
Q. Hey guys, Ok, this question may be long, but I need some opinions from you because I really don't know what to think. My teacher of perfomance is 48 and i'm 18. I know what are you going to say and i know it's illegal to have relationship, because ...
A. 15 November 2008: I may be a bit dense, but I can't see what you mean by "speaking in metaphors" A metaphor is language that directly compares seemingly unrelated subjects. To say "You are my sunshine" is a metaphor because it compares "you" to the "sunshine". I ... (read in full...)
Is she acting too needy or just lacking in social sophistication?
Q. Should I stay or should I go? I've been dating this gal for only a week. A little background, we are both mature adults 40+. She is nice, attractive, and seems to have a good career. The problem here; is she acting too needy or just lacking in...
A. 15 November 2008: This one was posted twice. The same question (with three replies) is at:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-believe-im-dating-a-nice-but-much.html
... (read in full...)
Does anybody know how to make a home made sex toy?
Q. Does anyone know if it is possible to make a home-made sex toy? Because of my age I'm unable to buy my own and I definitely don't want to ask my mom or dad to get me one. Does anybody know how to make a male home-made sex toy?...
A. 15 November 2008: What kind of sex toy did you have in mind?... (read in full...)
I believe I’m dating a nice but much less sophisticated woman here.
Q. Should I stay or should I go? I've been dating this gal for only a week. A little background, we are both mature adults 40+. She is nice, attractive, and seems to have a good career. The problem here; is she acting too needy or just lacking in...
A. 15 November 2008: Your choice of words ("lacking in sophistication") is interesting. At the risk of sounding extremely rude, I would probably be much blunter and call her "boring". That is not very charitable, I know, but the fact is that there are some people whose ... (read in full...)
Why would he want head again right away? Was I not good enough?
Q. ok so the other day i gave head for my first time to this guy...before he asked if i ever did it and i said no and he said ok i'll teach you. so yea he said it felt good and all and eventually he cummed then like 30 or 45 minutes later he asked me ...
A. 14 November 2008: If you were no good, he wouldn't have asked you to do it again. There is no fun in straining to feel good with a woman who can't "push the right buttons". The fact is, you were so damned good he wanted more!... (read in full...)
Husband open with me about having sex with other men !!
Q. Hello Again, I have posted before and you guys gave me very valuable and insightful information.... but I am still wondering if I am doing the right thing. I have been married for 25 years, have 3 children + 2 foster boys that are all freshmen...
A. 14 November 2008: Well, Crazy???, it looks as if I was barking up the wrong tree. If you can cure the disease at its root, you will no longer have to bear the distress of your husband's sick behaviour, and your husband will no longer be tortured by shame, disgust, ... (read in full...)
My wife cheated on me... and it's on tape... but I love her. What do I do?
Q. I am 31 I’ve been married for almost 4 years and I known my wife for 6 years and we have a beautiful 3 years old girl, and we have a second one on the way, but I have learn something very horrible and I do not know what to do, I truly love my wife ...
A. 14 November 2008: Nice story. If it's true, I don't know why you are asking this question. You sound uncannily calm about what would be anyone else's worst nightmare. If my life came crashing down around my ears like that, I wouldn't just be saying "I do not know ... (read in full...)
Husband open with me about having sex with other men !!
Q. Hello Again, I have posted before and you guys gave me very valuable and insightful information.... but I am still wondering if I am doing the right thing. I have been married for 25 years, have 3 children + 2 foster boys that are all freshmen...
A. 14 November 2008: "Is he being fair to me...Am I being naive, is he being selfish, can this work?"
My final comment is this: you'll find plenty of women to weigh in and tell you that this is sick, he is being disrespectful, etc. They will all agree with you that... (read in full...)
Husband open with me about having sex with other men !!
Q. Hello Again, I have posted before and you guys gave me very valuable and insightful information.... but I am still wondering if I am doing the right thing. I have been married for 25 years, have 3 children + 2 foster boys that are all freshmen...
A. 14 November 2008: I've been thinking about your problem. I can see how hard it is for you.
Given the huge stress that this is causing you, I think you really should ask him to stop. If you could accept his behaviour, there would not be any problem. But you can't ac... (read in full...)
Is it possible to actually love someone when you are married?
Q. HI: I get along great with my co worker, and I really like him alot. We hit it off on just about every level. There are somethings, that I'm kinda eh, about, but overall, he really 'hits' me. We've gone out and had so much fun. I told him that I ...
A. 13 November 2008: Your question sounds strangely innocent. I think you should look at it from another angle. His marriage didn't start out like this. It's quite possible that he "connected on every level" with his wife before they started to cool off. Do you really ... (read in full...)
DON'T SECOND GUESS YOURSELF...
Q. Many years ago Indian braves would go away in solitude to prepare for manhood. One hiked into a beautiful valley, green with trees and bright with flowers. There as he looked up at the surrounding mountains, he noticed a rugged peak capped with ...
A. 13 November 2008: There is an ancient Chinese version of this story that is quite famous, about animals crossing a river. I'll post it when I find it. The moral is that innate nature cannot be changed.... (read in full...)
Husband open with me about having sex with other men !!
Q. Hello Again, I have posted before and you guys gave me very valuable and insightful information.... but I am still wondering if I am doing the right thing. I have been married for 25 years, have 3 children + 2 foster boys that are all freshmen...
A. 13 November 2008: Oh, and "Why am I not enough for him?" I think that was answered by someone else at your earlier post.
I think the two urges are almost separate desires. He has this one specific drive that you can't fulfil (even though he loves the strap-on... (read in full...)
Husband open with me about having sex with other men !!
Q. Hello Again, I have posted before and you guys gave me very valuable and insightful information.... but I am still wondering if I am doing the right thing. I have been married for 25 years, have 3 children + 2 foster boys that are all freshmen...
A. 13 November 2008: OK, I answered your previous post. Now I'll try and answer this one.
When you first mentioned this to us, I certainly had doubts about the wisdom of putting yourself under so much emotional strain. You described the physical symptoms of your dis... (read in full...)
Is this what it's going to be like when I have kids?
Q. My sister recently had a baby so I hear her (the baby) crying when I get back from school in the evening through out the night for various reasons. She's the cutest baby ever but it's absolutely impossible to get anything productive done when I get ...
A. 12 November 2008: I would tend to say yes. It is especially tough on the mother, but everyone else is affected, too.
But if it's not your baby, I'm not sure why you are spending so much time looking after its needs. You sound like you will be a very involved... (read in full...)
I don't think if I ever have an affair again I would let it last that long.
Q. Here is my story. I've been married for 24 years since the age of 17. My husband is a wonderful man, we have a beatiful 22 year old daughter who lives away. Sex life is almost non-existent. No one initiates it anymore, but when it happens it's goo...
A. 10 November 2008: I think you are making a mistake here.
Both of you love the incredible sex. But he just wants it on the side, while you want to develop this into a fully-fledged relationship. No wonder he wants to run away.
Enjoy the sexual side while you h... (read in full...)
I'm 45 and I don't think I've ever had an orgasm. What am I doing wrong ?
Q. i am a 45 year old lady and i dont think i have ever had an orgasm. it really bother me tremendously. i dont know what i am doing wrong.i dont know what to do...
A. 10 November 2008: You don't give a lot of detail. Presumably you've never even managed to orgasm during masturbation, let alone sexual intercourse.
At any rate, the other aunts are right. Masturbation is the key. And the key to masturbation is that "little button".... (read in full...)
Anal Sex without lube
Q. Hi. My boyfriend really wants to have anal sex without lube. I'm fine with this (I'm aware that it will hurt badly, and I'm ok with that), but we need to know if it is possible without seriously damaging me. I've never had anal sex before, let alone ...
A. 10 November 2008: I'm curious. Why exactly does this boyfriend specifically want to have anal sex WITHOUT LUBRICATION? Given that it's going to hurt even WITH lube, why don't you try it that way first? If the pain isn't intense enough for you, you can move on to anal ... (read in full...)
He told me he did not love me anymore and I am heartbroken.
Q. I was married for 10 years and have 3 boys. I left my husband a year and a half ago and the boys too. I met my boyfriend a few weeks before I left my husband. Our marriage was already over long before this. It was instant attraction. I was falling ...
A. 10 November 2008: Since I replied last, I found a site that was kind of interesting in view of your first paragraph:
"I was married for 10 years and have 3 boys. I left my husband a year and a half ago and the boys too. I met my boyfriend a few weeks before I... (read in full...)
How can I move some of the workload onto myself during sex?
Q. So this boy and I have recently started having sex. Now, previously we were both virgins, and therefore are ultimately inexperienced. What we've found out so far is the best way for us is missionary - however, this results in me lying there and him ...
A. 10 November 2008: Hmmm.
I'm not sure what you mean by "workload". But touching him with your hands (gently on his back, nipples, hair...), pinching, biting, and scratching him (if he likes it), wrapping your legs around him, using your vaginal muscles to caress a... (read in full...)
He told me he did not love me anymore and I am heartbroken.
Q. I was married for 10 years and have 3 boys. I left my husband a year and a half ago and the boys too. I met my boyfriend a few weeks before I left my husband. Our marriage was already over long before this. It was instant attraction. I was falling ...
A. 9 November 2008: "I cry every day and cant stop thinking about him and how in love we were" -- huh? how in love you were? This is very unhealthy.
I think you need some serious counselling. This kind of violence is not normal, and your inability to stop thinking... (read in full...)
He said I have a big vagina yet he's the first man I've ever slept with!
Q. hi everybody, I am writing this so I can have advice about things I don't know. I've just get married lately and I was virgin but the problem is when I had sex with my husband he says that I have big vagina and he hardly feels me. Even although...
A. 3 November 2008: Nothing wrong with wetness! As I said earlier, the answer is exercising and getting control of those muscles!... (read in full...)
Husband having sex with other men...but he tells me...am I crazy?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 25 years and we have 3 great college-age children. We have a great relationship and a good marriage. Recently he has started having sex with older men. He says its just "sex" and he is not gay. He wants me ...
A. 25 October 2008: Thanks for that extra detail. It's clear that this thing is causing you considerable distress. The knotted stomach is a pretty sure sign of great emotional tension. Have you told him how you feel?
I've been in a somewhat similar situatio... (read in full...)
Husband having sex with other men...but he tells me...am I crazy?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 25 years and we have 3 great college-age children. We have a great relationship and a good marriage. Recently he has started having sex with older men. He says its just "sex" and he is not gay. He wants me ...
A. 24 October 2008: Thanks for that, Fade!
Actually, with the strap-on, I wasn't suggesting using it for intercourse. Just that maybe he'd be turned on by the sight of his wife with a hard-on! Some guys find it fascinating. My aim was kinky, not gross!... (read in full...)
Husband having sex with other men...but he tells me...am I crazy?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 25 years and we have 3 great college-age children. We have a great relationship and a good marriage. Recently he has started having sex with older men. He says its just "sex" and he is not gay. He wants me ...
A. 24 October 2008: I'm aware of the conventional view on these things. And I'm aware that this matter is upsetting you. I was trying to suggest there is another way of looking at it. Maybe it will help defuse your hurt, maybe not. But I really don't feel that telling ... (read in full...)
Husband having sex with other men...but he tells me...am I crazy?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 25 years and we have 3 great college-age children. We have a great relationship and a good marriage. Recently he has started having sex with older men. He says its just "sex" and he is not gay. He wants me ...
A. 24 October 2008: Oh, speaking of strap-on dildoes. Would your husband be interested in a bit of "homosexual" play with you if you strapped on a dildo? He sounds kinky -- maybe he'd like to be kinky with you! Just a thought.... (read in full...)
Husband having sex with other men...but he tells me...am I crazy?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 25 years and we have 3 great college-age children. We have a great relationship and a good marriage. Recently he has started having sex with older men. He says its just "sex" and he is not gay. He wants me ...
A. 24 October 2008: I don't agree with any of the previous posters.
1) If you read my other posts you'll understand that I don't agree with the current classification into "straight, gay, bi". The desire for certain sexual experiences has to do with sexual proclivi... (read in full...)
He told me he did not love me anymore and I am heartbroken.
Q. I was married for 10 years and have 3 boys. I left my husband a year and a half ago and the boys too. I met my boyfriend a few weeks before I left my husband. Our marriage was already over long before this. It was instant attraction. I was falling ...
A. 21 October 2008: The signs are unequivocal. The guy does not want you. Pestering him, going round to see him, getting him to sleep with you, giving him an ultimatum, and all the rest of your tactics aren't going to change that; they're going to make it worse. There ... (read in full...)
He said I have a big vagina yet he's the first man I've ever slept with!
Q. hi everybody, I am writing this so I can have advice about things I don't know. I've just get married lately and I was virgin but the problem is when I had sex with my husband he says that I have big vagina and he hardly feels me. Even although...
A. 16 October 2008: I suspect the problem is not one of size but of tightness. My feeling is that you should do exercises to strengthen the muscles of your vagina. He will definitely appreciate it once your muscles are stronger and you can physically "squeeze" his ... (read in full...)
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