My parents abandoned me and now they are asking me for help! Please help me deal with the anger?
Q. I have a little issue - I was raised by my grandmother because I am the 1st born child and both my parents remarried after I was born. I never really had much contact with both of them growing up and actually thought my grandma was my mother until I ...
A. 24 October 2013: If you were not rich and successful, would your parents be contacting you? Are they reaching out to you because they want to get to know you again, or are they using their bloodline to coerce you into buying them stuff?
You don't owe them a t... (read in full...)
I want to make some positive changes in my life but I don't seem to be making any progress
Q. I cant help but feel like I've dug myself into a bit of a hole over the years. For a while now, I've been wanting to make some positive changes in my life to get myself out of it, but I just don't seem to get anywhere. I find myself drift in and out ...
A. 24 October 2013: I think you're overthinking things and are a bit too hard on yourself. It almost seems like you're striving to become the perfect person before you start living. The best way to overcome your fears is to face it head on. So for example, if you're ... (read in full...)
Can't get over my husband's confession of being "obsessed" by another woman.
Q. Can't get over my husband's confession of being "obsessed" by another woman. A couple of months ago, a close female friend of ours confessed to my husband that she was in love with him and wanted to have a physical affair too (all in the same conv...
A. 23 October 2013: You did not mention how long you've been married, but I've known people to develop crushes on other people after being married a long time. The crushes develop not because there is something lacking in the marriage. It's more about the ego. Do I ... (read in full...)
Is this an early indicator that the relationship isn't going to go anywhere?
Q. Hi, I was wondering what people think of this theory? I have noticed that anyone I've dated in the past will never get past the dating phase when they never use your name in texts, conversations, anything, even if they do pay all sorts of com...
A. 23 October 2013: Hmmmm...maybe...but maybe it also has to do with the type of person you're choosing to date. Perhaps you are choosing people who are emotionally closed off in some way. I think you need to analyse the type of people you are attracted to. It all ... (read in full...)
My ex named his daughter after me??
Q. Hi, I got a txt of my ex of over 4 years, who ismarried for two years Now, he told me he Christened his daughter after me, what does this mean? Why does he need to tell me this after all theses years? ...
A. 23 October 2013: I think it's a compliment to you. It means that you meant a lot to him and he thought you were special. He admires you up to this day, maybe not in a romantic way, but he admires your character.... (read in full...)
Why would he have a condom?
Q. So my boyfriend of 11 months and I live together friday he had to go a thing for work for health insurance or something him and his cobworker car pooled together she's a girl but she's from Africa . Any way he had to go to another city which is ...
A. 21 October 2013: With all due respect Daisy Daisy, HIV affects everyone in all parts of the world. The OP made a statement that has an ethnocentric undertone and you are supporting this stereotype. I don't know if you realize this or not, but this is a form of ... (read in full...)
He said the message on his phone was a trap to see if I was snooping
Q. Hi im in a relationship with an aries, I saw on his phone msgs to another woman saying he had feelings for her apparently she was in spain, I asked him about this as I was packing to leave, things got heated n he said he didnt want me to leave, we ...
A. 20 October 2013: He is lying to you. Finding that text message, the fact that he locked his phone after, and keeping his laptop away from you are all red flags that he's being dishonest. What is your gut saying to you? If I were you, I'd find out who this woman ... (read in full...)
Why would he have a condom?
Q. So my boyfriend of 11 months and I live together friday he had to go a thing for work for health insurance or something him and his cobworker car pooled together she's a girl but she's from Africa . Any way he had to go to another city which is ...
A. 20 October 2013: Why did you mention that the girl was from Africa? What does that have to do with anything?... (read in full...)
My husband just left me for a younger woman
Q. i am feeling like a total fool. i was informed last night that my husband of 23 years wants a divorce, he has a baby by a girl that is 24 years old and she is expecting another one by him again... yes you read this right the baby she just had is 4 ...
A. 20 October 2013: Lawyer up and take him to the cleaners dear lady. Don't feel sorry for him one bit. Take him for everything he's got. I guarantee that A..hole is going to be running back to you in a few years when that kniving tramp leaves him for someone ... (read in full...)
How does one turn their emotions off?
Q. How do people keep from letting their heartache effect them? Better yet, how do people NOT have heartache? I know alot of scientist types... and I love their logic and how organized they are compared to me, but the thing I envy the most is how ...
A. 19 October 2013: I am very emotional just like you. There was a time when I used to keep it all bottled in, not letting anyone know what I was feeling. Instead I put on a brave smile, and never cried. Not anymore. I cry while driving if a song certain song comes ... (read in full...)
Can guys look past this hair I have?
Q. I have a strange question. I am a girl and have hair in irregular sopts on my body (lower back, butt, and stomach). Ive went to the doctor and she said that there is no was to get rid of all of it. Im taking birth controll hoping that will help with ...
A. 18 October 2013: I have a female relative who is extemely hairy. She has very hairy arms (from elbow to wrist), stomach, butt, even facial hair. Men find it very sexy and are turned on by the sight of it. She waxes her face, and was considering waxing her arms, ... (read in full...)
I feel like she's trying to come between us
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship (2hrs drive away) not that far but I can't see him as much as I wanted. I am pretty certain that one of his female colleague whom I also know, likes him. We use to work together, even when I was ...
A. 18 October 2013: Ask your boyfriend how he would feel if you were hanging out with one of your male friends all the time. CMMP is right. Your bf is putting himself in a position where things could happen. When any of my male friends get into relationships, out of ... (read in full...)
The relationship is great -- except for his psycho ex
Q. I am very much in love with this man and we are engaged to be married in a year. He treats me wonderfully and we are best friends. The only issue is the mother of his child hates that we are together and has drawn a wedge between us. She is violent ...
A. 17 October 2013: Don't let someone else break you up. If he is a good man and you love him then don't fall victim to his ex. She wants to make sure that the two of you are broken beyond repair. That is her main goal. If you go to church, pray for her to let go ... (read in full...)
Do I chase my dream or give it up for my boyfriend?
Q. Hi there...i had posted a question about my boyfriend getting depressed since he didn't get placed and all..my dream company will be hiring freshers from my campus next week and I was dying for them to come..now my bf is asking me not to attend the ...
A. 17 October 2013: Go for the dream. You'll regret it if you don't.... (read in full...)
My mind is on overload and I am going crazy!
Q. Hello aunts and uncle's I really need some advice here and fast before I go nuts. I have been with my BF for 7 months now and I am so in love with him, and he tells me he feels the same. we moved in together and everything is going great excep...
A. 17 October 2013: Keeping the phone with him at all times is suspicious, but it could be many possibilities. Yes an affair is one, or maybe he's into some kind of illegal business...who knows. I agree with Sageoldguy. Let it play out and see what happens. The ... (read in full...)
Lingering guilt about how we got together
Q. Four years ago my fiancee and I got together in a not so good way......his relationship with his wife was going down hill (so he told me) and she was also seeing someone else....at this point we were work colleagues who crossed the line and started ...
A. 17 October 2013: I read a study somewhere that most times it's the woman who would leave a crumbling relationship. Men tend to stay in bad marriages, because they don't have the kind of support network that women tend to have. We have our girlfriends that we can ... (read in full...)
He says his sub character came out and started chatting to his son's girlfriend! Does he have mental issues?
Q. ive come accross something that i dont understand, maybe someone who is good and understands phsycology might be able to put some undertsanding to this type of beahviour. Will try and be as brief as i can, im left completley confused so here it ...
A. 15 October 2013: I'm not a psychologist, nor am I qualified, but I think he's playing the both of you. He sounds like a predator and a master manipulator. Both you and this young woman are his prey. I think he is attracted to women with self esteem issues and ... (read in full...)
He says he has "proof" even when he doesn't. Need help, fast!!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We're in our early-mid 30's. Every once in awhile he will accuse me of cheating and claiming he has "proof" when I know he doesn't. This morning at 7am he text me and asked me who the hell I was texting. I ...
A. 15 October 2013: He sounds paranoid. Are you sure there are no mental health issues involved?... (read in full...)
He's lost all hope of getting a job in the next placement drive!
Q. I am an engineering student currently in my final year of graduation. As such, placement drives of various firms are going on in my institution. Fortunately or unfortunately, I got placed in a leading fir in the first drive itself. But my boyfriend ...
A. 14 October 2013: Maybe he does not do well in interviews. I am the absolute worst at interviews. I forget everything and I literally start rambling and talking nonsense, because I'm so nervous. Perhaps you can help him to prepare for the interviews. Ask him the ... (read in full...)
I think I might have caught him in a lie ...
Q. This will probably sound ridiculous but I need opinions! My partner and I have been happy together for 3 years. Last night he gave me a lift to a friends house for some drinks and as we were in the car I noticed his car ticked over to 10,000 miles ...
A. 14 October 2013: You're right. It does not add up. Time for you to become Sherlock Holmes.... (read in full...)
How can I recover from this love-sickness?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me three months ago. Since then, my life has started to be absolutely nonsense, I spent my days watching the time passing by, and fell into a deep depression. I have started university almost a month ago, still I don't ...
A. 14 October 2013: I've been where you are. I'm still going through the pain of my last break-up and that was over a year ago. I can promise you that it gets better. I actually have more happy days now and the sadness has been reduced to just moments. The first ... (read in full...)
How can I make him like me the way I like him?
Q. I've known my neighbour for slightly over a year and I like him a lot. He has all the qualities of a good boyfriend and eventually husband. He put me in the friend zone long ago and tells me about other girls he likes etc. When other people see us ...
A. 13 October 2013: These are some of the tricks women use to make a man more interested in them:
1. Improve your appearance by getting a new hairstyle or wearing more flattering clothing. Put on a little bit of make-up (but not too much), work out, get fit...so... (read in full...)
Any insight on why he disappeared?
Q. So here's my story, a guy i know since childhood but havent seen since years starts to hit on me and gets in touch for several weeks before things turned romantic. Since we live in different countries we were basicly texting all the time. At some ...
A. 11 October 2013: If he really wanted to meet you he would have made the effort. I think he is hiding something from you. Maybe he does not want you to see what he looks like now, unless you've seen him on webcam. Maybe he's already in a committed relationship. ... (read in full...)
Has anyone's ex come back after they've appeared to have moved on?
Q. has anyone's ex come back after they've appeared to have moved on? kinda like "if its meant to be it will be" type thing? my ex jumped into another relationship only a couple months after he walked away from our relationship. we were very seriou...
A. 10 October 2013: If you and your ex shared a deep, meaningful relationship, then I have no doubt he will try to reconnect with you in the future. I and every one of my female friends have all experienced the return of the ex...lol...sounds like a movie:) Anyway, ... (read in full...)
I can just switch off my feelings. Does that mean I'm incapable of loving someone?
Q. I just want to know if it's normal to be able to emotionally detach myself from feelings and people like its nothing? I could care about you today, love you or even be IN love with you but tomorrow it could be as if you're a complete stranger. The ...
A. 9 October 2013: I've done this before with people who hurt me. I pretend they don't exist. It's not really a switching off of feelings. It's more like a burial. It's what you do to keep yourself from feeling pain, anger, sadness, betrayal etc. The way I see it ... (read in full...)
I have yellow nails from my parent's smoking!
Q. Hi. Both my parents smoke (roughly 5-a-day each). They smoke outside or in the porch with the door open. Recently I have noticed I hav been getting yellow nails no one else has at home because I have the longest nails. I don't smoke! What can I...
A. 8 October 2013: You should really go see a doctor. The smoking has nothing to do with this.... (read in full...)
Earned my degrees and now have to figure out how much my boyfriend influences where I work and live
Q. It was a few months into our relationship that my world got turned upside down, with the sudden death of both my parents in a car wreck. My boyfriend was the first person I called when I found out, and he came straight over to collect me from my ...
A. 3 October 2013: I agree with the anonymous male reader. Start with the job search first. Focus on a job that would bring you great enjoyment, satisfaction and money ANYWHERE. Then you can tackle your relationship. There are options which both of you should ... (read in full...)
Do women really want on FWB relationships?
Q. someone just told me the new "in" thing was fwb. The lady i was talking to said even women wanted this now. Why? is because men were I think she meant men were not that nice. I know per my recent post I think I have become that..but i do not ...
A. 3 October 2013: I agree with Daisy_Daisy. It's not what a lot of women want, but they settle for it in the hope that the man will change his mind or realize that she's the one. Yes there are some women who prefer it. When I got divorced, I went through a ... (read in full...)
Can you get over a lack of physical attraction if the person is great enough?
Q. How do you get over not having a physical attraction to someone? I met the most amazing guy. Which is not something I say easily or throw around, I have been married and never talked that way about my ex husband. We have been talking for a fe...
A. 2 October 2013: Have you ever seen that reality show, "Dating in the Dark"? It's a dating experiment. Three men and three women live in separate parts of a house and only date each other in the dark, so that the emphasis is placed on emotional compatibiity rather ... (read in full...)
I have to dump my boyfriend... not sure how to move on. :(
Q. I'm needing to "officially" end my 3 year relationship. We're both in our early 30's. I love him but he isn't good for me any longer. He has emotional abandonment issues so every so often he goes "missing" for days or weeks and then comes back like ...
A. 2 October 2013: You need to speak to a therapist. I agree with CindyCares. I think you also have issues that you need to work through. Perhaps he is mirroring your issues. When you shine a light on what is blocking you from leaving him, then you will be able to ... (read in full...)
Should I worry that she wants to get herself off after sex?
Q. I'm 36, I've been married to my wife for 3 years and we never had any big sex-related problem or issue. Since a few months ago I started noticing that she was not satisfied anymore after we were done in bed. Not that she would tell me before, but ...
A. 1 October 2013: I gotta tell you...If she's finishing off by herself, it means you did not satisfy her. I had to do this in the past with one of my lovers (my ex husband), and he was lousy in bed.
Sorry to be so blunt, but you need to spend more time pleasuri... (read in full...)
A friend dropped off the grid. I value privacy too highly to charge in uninvited.
Q. I am in my mid 30s and is a secret introvert. However, as the coach at a popular UK University Sports Society, I end up going out most nights. I have a rule, Sundays are mine. Mine alone. Without it, I would be lost and be unable to cope with ...
A. 1 October 2013: I would be very concerned if no one has heard from her in a while. If she is an important person in your life then you should go to her house if you have to and make sure she is alive and well. I don't mean to alarm you, but this could be a life ... (read in full...)
Where do I stand with this guy?
Q. Hi all I am going to try and cut to the chase here, I am confused about where I stand with this guy I met. Initially, the guy who I shall name L, approached me 1st in a bar when me and my friend were sat alone in the corner. My friend who is as in...
A. 30 September 2013: If you're looking for a relationship, you're wasting your time with this guy.... (read in full...)
Is this just a lack or courage or a sign I shouldn't end it?
Q. I'm struggling to let go of a bad relationship and need to know whether what I am feeling is normal? We've been together for over 4 years and I love him a lot, but we've had lots of problems in that time, mainly to do with the fact I've never ...
A. 30 September 2013: Wow! That's a tough place to be. I feel for you. I may be romantic in my perspective, but if there is genuine love involved and there is no issue of cheating, abuse, addiction, or any kind of horrible treatment, then the relationship is worth ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated, on top of that we are of different religions.
Q. I am 23 years old and am a doctor. I am in india. I am in love with my boyfriend for 5years our relationship has been fine except for a few ups and downs . During the first year of our college my bf was dating a classmate of ours they then stopped ...
A. 29 September 2013: If you marry this man, this is what is going to happen to you. You will convert to his religion, which will cause a rift in your family. Some family members may stop talking to you. Meanwhile, he will continue to cheat on you, because you ... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend's ex is pregnant. How do I handle this?
Q. I am a 22 year old girl who has a 27 year old boyfriend of one month. It basically took us 3 months to actually become an item, we are so alike yet different, I guess that's why we connect, love each other dearly. Our worst fear is losing each ...
A. 28 September 2013: I agree with the advice given thus far. This is going to be hard for you, but the best thing you can do for yourself right now is leave. I'm speaking from experience. I was like you with one of my previous relationships. I sacrificed it all for ... (read in full...)
How to overcome the lack of sex in our marriage?
Q. My spouse are both in our seventies and I still get the urge for sex, but because of her medical problems she's afraid to even try to have sex. She won't even let me touch her. We've been married for fifty years, it wouldn't make sense for me to ...
A. 28 September 2013: I think you and your wife would benefit from speaking to a doctor about this. A doctor would be able to say if it's safe for her to have sex with her medical condition. She could get the reassurance that she needs. My friend's wife has a heart ... (read in full...)
Is it safe to go to a music festival alone?
Q. Would you go to a music festival alone? I moved to a new city a few months ago, and haven't made any close friends yet. Since moving here, I have missed out on a few events that I've really wanted to go to, but have ended up just staying home ...
A. 28 September 2013: I agree with chigirl. As long as you don't get drunk, you'll be fine. I've done lots of stuff on my own: Traveling, theatre, dinner, movies, events. I actually make more friends doing stuff by myself. You'll meet the most interesting people. ... (read in full...)
The night we met she went out had sex with her ex afterwards!
Q. Advice needed please! I met this girl a couple of months ago on a night out with friends, we hit it off straight away, swapped numbers and had a really good time that night. We started dating soon after and are going steady now. Everything h...
A. 27 September 2013: I think you're overreacting. I was in your girlfriend's shoes at one time. At the time when I met him, we hit it off, but I did not know if he was going to call me again or if we were going to have a future or not. When he and I became serious, I ... (read in full...)
My married male friend has admitted to being in love with me!
Q. Ok, so I am a 21 yr old female, student, and i have this male friend(30), an audiologist, who is married and has a kid.. I always saw him in this friend area...plus he is my best friend. He admitted of being Madly in love with me. It was a ...
A. 27 September 2013: I have a friend like this. I knew him before he was married. We've been friends for over ten years. He has since gotten married, but still pursues me like he did before he was married. How do I deal with his amorous attention? I set boundaries. ... (read in full...)
Could renting together ruin our friendship?
Q. Just a quick question. Could living with a friend turn out to be a bad idea? My freshman year of college, I became pretty much best friends with my roommate. We have so much in common and had so much fun together, that we decided to be roommates our ...
A. 27 September 2013: I think it's a good match. In a dorm room, you have less privacy than if you live off campus. If you get along now, I don't think you'll have a problem when you move out next year. If there are issues, I think your friendship is strong enough to ... (read in full...)
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