Does not wanting to to work outside the home make me a bad person?
Q. Does not wanting to to work outside the home make me a bad person? My husband barely makes enough to support us. We don't even have children. We have talked about adoption in the future when we are better off. We're in our mid twenties. I ofte...
A. 7 July 2014: What if, God forbid, something happened to your husband? How would you support yourself then? You need to become independent, so you don't have to rely on anyone else to support you. There is no guarantee in life, and the economy is so bad right ... (read in full...)
I thought we were in love, but then he confessed he loved another!
Q. I sit here in pieces and in need of some words of comfort. I'll try and keep it as succinct as possible as there could be the potential to write a lot. Me and my boyfriend over two and a half years broke up tonight. He is in love with anothe...
A. 7 July 2014: Yes, this happened to me. One minute we were in love, and the next minute he broke up with me and was married to someone else 3 months later. It shattered me. It took me over a year to get over the betrayal. It was like experiencing a death. ... (read in full...)
He dumped me because I'm polyamourous
Q. Hi, I am a 24-yr-old girl who has just been ditched by the guy she's in love with. I am distraught, any help would be amazing. Basically I've been seeing this guy for five months. From the off I told him I wanted to be polyamorous, and that I was a...
A. 6 July 2014: I really feel that there is still hope for you and this guy. Call me Romantic. Maybe I am. Dump the couple. Declare your monogamous love. Become vulnerable and tell him just how much he means to you. I suspect the polyarmory is just a ... (read in full...)
Is my FWB guy trying to tell me something now that he knows I'm dating someone?
Q. I had a fwb with a guy for 18 months. From the beginning he told me it was just for fun. We met up for sex every 4-6 weeks, and we would meet up for coffee once or twice a week too just to keep in touch. Recently I met another guy who has become m...
A. 4 July 2014: I think it's a case of wanting what you can't have. I agree with Honeypie. He made no effort to become your bf during your FWB time together. Please don't let him mess up what could potentially be a good relationship. Tell him to find someone ... (read in full...)
When ever I have sex with my husband I feel dirty!
Q. I love my husband and I am attracted to him, but every time we have sex I feel dirty and cheap afterwards. We only have sex about once a month and it's lights out him on top. I still feel dirty and horrible afterwards. It's affecting our marriage, ...
A. 30 June 2014: I think you need counselling and in your sessions you need to delve into your childhood. That feeling of "feeling dirty" and your earlier promiscuity are signs of possible childhood sexual abuse. I can't really say that's for sure, but you ... (read in full...)
I caught my boyfriend on dating website with profile. He denies it. Do I tell him to take a hike?
Q. Hello So my bf of 3yrs was caught on a dating site. My friend happened to ne on the same site and alerted me. I confronted him and he had some lame excuse for being on it. I asked if he had met anyone off of there, and he said no of course. He sa...
A. 26 June 2014: To quote Shakespeare, "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark". Your bf is not being honest with you, and I bet your instincts are screaming warning signs. No, you are not over reacting. If I were you, I'd keep a close eye on him. His dodgy ... (read in full...)
I'm obsessing over his new wife and I don't know how to stop.
Q. I know before a write this that people are going to think i'm pathetic but i feel like i have nobody i can talk to about how i'm feeling. Long story short, i was in a sort of FWB situation that ended about 2 years ago. I was the one to end it ev...
A. 21 June 2014: I know exactly how you feel because I've been in that situation before. You are not garbage, and things are not as rosy as people portray their lives to be on social media. You were strong enough to turn him down several times. Give yourself a ... (read in full...)
I've developed an attraction for my friend's husband
Q. Hi there, I really hope this doesn't make me sound like a total bitch. I have become really good friends with the husband of one of my oldest friends. We all get along really well together but we are also friends in our own right. We text back and...
A. 16 June 2014: You are having an emotional affair with your friend's husband. This is not appropriate and it is not good. You are just one step away from engaging in the physical affair. Put yourself in your friend's position. How would you feel if your bf or ... (read in full...)
Are gold diggers happy?
Q. I am wondering this because just recently at work we found out that one of the most beautiful girls at work has started going out with one of our managers. In the 5 years I have worked at this place I have never noticed them flirting or laughing or ...
A. 16 June 2014: One person's frog is another person's prince:)... (read in full...)
What was the matter with this blind-date guy?
Q. I went on a blind-date the other day, I had only talked to him on the phone prior to meeting, and a friend set us up. He invited me to come with him and our mutual friend to a theater show. They're in a group, and get free tickets to this one show. ...
A. 14 June 2014: Yes, let this one go. He ran to the bathroom because he did not want to pay for your ticket. He sounds flaky and is certainly no gentleman. You were right to not extend the date. What he did and how he acted would turn me off too.... (read in full...)
I've been having sex with other men with my husband's consent. Anyone else been there, done that? Has it worked out for you?
Q. I have been having sex with other men because it is a turn on for my husband and he wants me to do it. At first I thought that this was some kind of entrapment scheme he was getting me into but I soon found out he was serious. The first few ...
A. 12 June 2014: I have no experience in this lifestyle, but I know two couples who were swingers. Both marriages ended in divorce. In both situations, one person fell in love with one of the lovers. As soon as an emotional attachment set in, the marriage started ... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time with this girl?
Q. So there's this girl that I like and I've taken her out a couple of times now and just when things were looking up, she goes camping with her friends and sleeps with another guy when she was drunk. The next day this guy texts her saying he really ...
A. 10 June 2014: This girl is Trouble. You are just an option to her, which means she is not really that into you. I think you're better off finding someone else who is more considerate, loyal and more into you than this girl.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend sleeps on the couch all the time!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been on and off for 3 years and officially dating for a year and a half. We just moved in together into a house with a few friends. We share a room and he's been sleeping on the couch in the livingroom for nights in a row and ...
A. 10 June 2014: I had an ex who used to do the same thing to me, and months after we split, I realized that it was his way of avoiding intimacy. In your situation, I don't think this is the case, beacause you are in a committed relationship and living together. ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of hearing the old stories over and over again and I'm snapping at everyone!
Q. I’ve become real short with people. I don’t know why. I just don’t have the patience to listen to the same stories and complaints over and over again. And I know everyone has their own ‘greatest hits’ material, myself included, so I don’t know why I ...
A. 8 June 2014: LOL...Very entertaining rant. My guess is that your IQ is way above average, so I'm not surprised this kind of stuff will irritate you. Anyway, just consider this kind of irritation a quirk of yours. If anyone calls your "cranky" or "irritable", ... (read in full...)
It's like she takes over elements of my life and does them better
Q. I met my best friend at work 5 years ago. She's amazing, outgoing, always the one with the funniest jokes and always the centre of attention. And that's the problem. She has insecurities about herself and about being lonely but you would never know ...
A. 8 June 2014: I used to have a friend like this. I felt the same way you do. After realizing that my friend was narcissistic, I ended the friendship. Her main goal was to feed her ego by being the centre of attention all the time, even if it meant stepping on ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend enjoys looking at other women. Is she bisexual?
Q. My girlfriend has suddenly enjoying looking (or maybe leching) other girls when we go out. Every guy loves looking at sexy girls with nice boobs and sexy feet and shoes. My girlfriend also has started enjoying looking at them and admiring them with ...
A. 7 June 2014: It's perfectly normal. I'm straight, and I still admire a beautiful woman. It's not that I'm attracted to a beautiful woman, but I observe her from head to toe, trying to figure out what makes her beautiful, and then compare myself to her. Call ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is making me feel like a last priority
Q. Hello , so my boyfriend works a lot. He usually works 5-6 days a week and they are usually 9-12 hour shifts. I don't get to see him a lot. Only on his 1 or 2 days off. We live an hour away from each other. I work too but at a more flexible job ...
A. 6 June 2014: I would not be able to handle a relationship like this. Yes, you are last on his priority list. Yes, you have a right to feel upset about this. Yes, what he expects is unreasonable. You should start socializing more with your friends. Don't ... (read in full...)
I'm too scared to move on.
Q. Hey aunts and uncles I've recently come out of a four year relationship. I had been planning the break up for some time as he was abusive (mentally and emotionally). He would use emotional blackmail to get me to do things for him and if we argu...
A. 5 June 2014: I believe in facing the fear and meeting the new guy. If are not ready to meet him because you're just not feeling it, then fine, don't meet him. However, if you don't want to meet the internet guy because you are afraid of repeating past ... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to change our relationship for the better?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 year and we've talk about marriage next year. We've been so open to each other and both our family are supportive with our relationship. We are both 25. However, we've been through so many arguments lately...
A. 4 June 2014: It sounds like you're trying to mold him into the type of man that you want him to be. The problem is that he is not that man. If you cannot accept him for who he is and what he has to offer, then your relationship will not work. Please don't ... (read in full...)
Am I being a gold digger?
Q. I am in a struggle. I met a nice guy last August and we have been dating ever since. Prior to that I was in a long relationship with a man from the US. He is starting to put a bit of pressure on me to take the relationship to the next level and I ...
A. 4 June 2014: I think you are right to be concerned about his work schedule. In the beginning you may be lenient and understanding, but it will gradually start to erode your relationship when he puts his work first above his relationship with you or his family, ... (read in full...)
I've found out things about my ex partner that really disturb me
Q. I'm so upset and I feel worse because I know that I shouldn't be. My ex partner was a binge drinker and became increasingly abusive towards me. We both work as college lecturers, but in different universities. I left him about a year ago bu...
A. 2 June 2014: When I found out that my ex was seeing someone else while he was seeing me, even though we were already broken up, I felt humiliated. How could I not have known? How could I be so stupid? How could I have allowed such a man into my bed and into ... (read in full...)
My bf of 3 years is getting annoyed, irritated or angry with me almost all the time!
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 3 years is getting annoyed or irritated or angry with me almost all the time. I am not even sure what i do that set him off, its like i tip-toe around him all the time, its like i am on probation and he is evaluating me. ...
A. 1 June 2014: It's a sign that he wants this relationship to end.... (read in full...)
I found out he has another girlfriend but he wont admit it!
Q. Me an my boyfriend have been toghter 16mnts an I recently found out he's been seeing another women.Although he still tries to hide her she makes herself well known around da neighborhood DAT they are toghter my problem is he will not admitt it an ...
A. 29 May 2014: I bet after all this great advice has been given to you, you'll go home, think about it, and throw it all away, because you "love" him and can't bring yourself to leave him. This is what happens when you have low self-worth and you lack the courage ... (read in full...)
I mentioned my ex and now this man has blocked me
Q. When I was in college a guy lived next door and I lived there until the end of college and moved and he went to michigan we were just friends and neighbors. He came into town not to long ago and low and behold his aunt is next door that he was ...
A. 28 May 2014: Wow! This guy has some serious head issues regarding his penis size - No pun intended:) Seriously, if he blocked you and ended the friendship because you mentioned this, then thank God you found out now. He sounds a bit too extreme. Do you ... (read in full...)
How do I help my son?
Q. Both my sons have left the house and have been in the military. My youngest is currently home visiting, he has time off. Chatting with him, I realized he seems depressed, he has no inspiration for the future, such as college degree or a good job. ...
A. 28 May 2014: First of all, you've got to stop blaming yourself. You did the best you could at the time, with the knowledge that you had. We all wish we could turn back the clock and change the way we reacted to situations. It sounds like you were a good ... (read in full...)
What sort of relationship is this?
Q. I have a situation that which I know I should run for the hills and be done with this relationship but I am struggling. My boyfriend and I met 3 years ago during a LDR. We met up half way every 2-3 weeks and eventually he met my kids and would co...
A. 27 May 2014: Wow! So many red flags. Yes something is amiss. He's not being completely honest with you or with anyone else. The question is what is he hiding? A double life? If I were in your shoes, I'd hire a Private Investigator or do some PI work ... (read in full...)
Twenty eight and throwing tantrums
Q. My lovely live in boyfriend has some sort of anxiety and depression. He has spoken to people about it in the past, and been on antidepressants before my time. His recount on things I've said or scenarios that have happened where he ended up getting ...
A. 26 May 2014: You can't fix him. He sounds like he may have a personality disorder. I know this because I have family members who sound exactly like what you described. From a life-time of dealing with people like that, I can tell you that it does not get ... (read in full...)
New workplace for me. Guy there is married, attractive and older. What's my next move?
Q. hi.theres this man whos pretty elder to me but is ravishingly handsome,at my workplace. i just started working there 2 weeks ago and he makes frequent eye contacts and shows many other signs of attraction.it makes me feel really awkard to gaze back ...
A. 25 May 2014: You don't do a thing with this man. Put yourself in the wife's shoes. If you were married, would you be OK with your husband having an affair with someone at his workplace? If you get involved with him, bad karma is going to get you. Guaranteed ... (read in full...)
My partner of 7 years left me. I am trying to give him space but I want to start again from the beginning.
Q. My partner has just broke up with me 11 days ago. We where together 7 years and have lived together for most of this. in the last 3/4 months we where planning on moving abroad to work for the summer. we gave up are house and moved in with his mum ...
A. 24 May 2014: He is taking your love and presence in his life for granted. He thinks he can find better out there. You know what sweetheart, this is going to be really hard for you, but you have to let him go. Let him discover for himself that you were the ... (read in full...)
Back in my day, if someone made you a mixtape, it was a signal they liked you! Should I forget him and move on?
Q. Hello I've been out of the dating world for a few months, not interested in anyone but recently there is this guy I really like. He heard me playing guitar and said it sounded like the radio, and offered to make me a CD of a singer I'd like....
A. 23 May 2014: Ahh the good old days:) Yes love was in the air when you got a mixed tape:)
With this guy, I would say it's too soon to tell if he has written you off. Maybe he was in a genuine hurry. If you don't hear from him in a few days, then you can assu... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is too truthful!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. We both Graduated from college; where I met him. He's trying to start up his legal justice career and I'm on the same path for child and youth studies. We've lived together for about a year ...
A. 23 May 2014: It sounds like the two of you are going through a rough patch in your relationship. You need to reconnect as a couple. I would suggest a vacation, weekend getaway or some kind of retreat to re-ignite the spark. Communication is key, but positive ... (read in full...)
My friend ditched me when I was going to the hospital. Why did she get angry?
Q. A friend of mine recently got very angry with me, without me understanding why. I was wondering if you could help me with this. I had become quite sick, and wasn't getting any better. I was talking to my friend that Saturday, and she asked me how...
A. 23 May 2014: She's the one with the problem. She sounds selfish. This happened to me once, a long time ago. I was sick, and had not eaten in days. I called my friend who lived a couple blocks away from me to see if she could bring me some medicine. She ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for me to have these thoughts? I have an 'odd' sexuality.
Q. hi, I used to use this site a lot when i was in a dd/lg relationship when I was 17-19. Since then I went of to University and i'm now 21 and about to graduate. I met someone else, who wasn't 35 years older than me (just 10) and who wanted a stable ...
A. 23 May 2014: Sweetheart, you like what you like. I like what I like. Each person likes what they like. I don't see anything wrong with the fact that you are attracted to older men. People may say that you have daddy issues, but so what! Everyone on this ... (read in full...)
I'm engaged but don't want to get married or have kids! Do I break things off?
Q. I've been engaged for a couple of months now. My boyfriend and I had talked about marriage vaguely before, and, as I love him to bits, I had always been positive towards it. It didn't feel like a serious discussion, so I hadn't really thought about ...
A. 22 May 2014: I think you need to tell him exactly how you feel about everything. Open and honest communication. Discuss it as a couple and make a decision about your future together as a couple. I would also recommend therapy for yourself, even if it's just ... (read in full...)
Is he playing games with my head and heart?
Q. HI all I am sorry if this is a bit long but I need to get this off my chest and hope to understand a bit better. I first started dating my partner a year ago next week. In the begining he told me he was with someone but has not seen her for...
A. 22 May 2014: Too many weird things in this relationship. I think he's definitely sleeping around, and it sounds like he just wants to use you to fulfill his sexual fantasies. If that's the only way he can be intimate with you, then it sound really ... (read in full...)
How do I control myself around this guy? I'm older but can't seem to get a handle on my actions and feelings. Help?
Q. Ok, so this is a really embarrassing and very silly problem. I am a confident woman. I date. I don't have any trouble picking up guys, but for personal reasons I am not interested in a relationship at the moment. BUT for the first time in about 10 ...
A. 21 May 2014: You have so many fears about being in a relationship. Your post is all about convincing the reader and yourself that you should not fall in love with him. You've pointed out all that's wrong with falling in love with him. You've built a very ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my neighbour I had sex with his wife
Q. The other night I was having beers with a few mates, on my back deck .Being a single male there is always people at my house they come and go as they please pretty relax and social atmosphere My neighbour came over with a drink as her husband ...
A. 21 May 2014: Ok so you slipped up a couple of times. It happens to the best of us. I would advise that you do not tell the husband, and don't sleep with her again. She sounds like trouble. This is probably not the first time she slept with her husband's best ... (read in full...)
Does it really happen that people can't keep their hands off each other?
Q. Can this really happen? You know in films where a couple can't keep their hands off each other and they basically attack each other. Does anyone have this? Is it real or is it just for the drama? Most the time form what I can remember the sex I've ...
A. 19 May 2014: Yes I have experienced this before. I agree with female reader anonymous...It really depends on the man. I've had lovers who preferred to plan and take their time with the act, and I've had lovers who walked in the door, ripped my clothes off and ... (read in full...)
Went out to dinner with 2 colleagues, were they a little rude..?
Q. Need some opinions. I recently went out for lunch with 2 colleagues who are Asian, one 31 one 53, me early 40s, we get along well and I like them both, Im white. We went to food court and one of the women headed right for an asian restau...
A. 18 May 2014: Yes, absolutely they were rude to you. If I was in that situation, I would avoid having lunch with them again. I'd rather eat alone than to put up with that kind of condescending attitude.... (read in full...)
He is giving me mixed signals what should I do?
Q. I fell in love with this guy I know he had feelings for me We used to work together he's extremely popular and everyone likes him please don't judge but we got close and kissed he's been living with a girl for 6 years and he said after we kis...
A. 3 May 2014: You were right to get angry with him about his mixed signals. Actions speak louder than words. He treats you like a leper, told you to leave him alone, and not surprisingly, he sends mixed signals again by wishing you happy birthday. He is not a ... (read in full...)
He has bipolar, and sometimes I feel more like a caregiver than a girlfriend
Q. I posted this on another thread. I was replying to someone else who had posted about their problem, and I thought I would start a thread about my own problem. I'm not sure what to do about this situation with him, and I would appreciate some ...
A. 3 May 2014: It sounds like your boyfriend needs an intervention and he needs to be hospitalized. A friend of mine had to do this several times with her boyfriend who is bipolar. When he was acting out of sorts to the point where he could not function, she ... (read in full...)
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