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Do I chase my dream or give it up for my boyfriend?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 October 2013) 8 Answers - (Newest, 19 October 2013)
A female India age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi there...i had posted a question about my boyfriend getting depressed since he didn't get placed and all..my dream company will be hiring freshers from my campus next week and I was dying for them to come..now my bf is asking me not to attend the drive since he is not attending the same..when i resist he is saying that i am giving more importance to that company than searching for a company where both of us could join..when i am asking him to attend the drive along with me next week, he is reluctant...what am i supposed to do..?:-( chase my dream or forget it..:-(

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (19 October 2013):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntThis is your life. Go for the placement drive. No sensible man would advise against it. In the words of a harsher woman than I, "tell him to stop being a depressed little dishrag".

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (18 October 2013):

Ciar agony auntI warned you about this in your previous post.

If your boyfriend had secured a placement in an earlier drive and you hadn't, do you think he'd give up that position so you could both being placed together?

You already know the answer to that one.

Your boyfriend doesn't want you to have anything he doesn't have. He's not on your side.

I know you feel conflicted, but do yourself (and him) a big favour and at least pretend not to feel the slightest bit guilty. Brush off any accusations of not caring about the relationship. They're bologne anyway.

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (17 October 2013):

Starlights agony auntGo for your dream. Dont let anyone hold you back. You will regret it if you dont go.

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A female reader, Intrigued3000 Canada +, writes (17 October 2013):

Intrigued3000 agony auntGo for the dream. You'll regret it if you don't.

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A female reader, sugarplum786 South Africa +, writes (17 October 2013):

sugarplum786 agony auntGo for your dream and its is healthier for the relationship that you do not work in the same company as your BF. Also this is clearly reflected by the first step where he is scared that you will succeed where he has failed.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 October 2013):

Honeypie agony auntThis is your future. What do you think your family would say?

Just because your BF is jealous of your success and not willing/able to do these drives - YOU should give up YOUR dreams?

If you do, you will resent it, if you don't HE will resent it. You are in quite a dilemma.

What are you at campus for anyways? To hang out with your BF and make him happy? Or to get your degree in the field you want to work it? Is it a piece of paper to hang on the wall or is it a way to reach your goals and dreams?

I think your BF is dragging you down into HIS depression instead of lifting you up and getting himself of his hiney and GO FOR IT.

Honey, I know you want to make him happy, but at what cost? Making yourself miserable?

Finding a job and a placement is on HIM (and you) I don't see him trying to help YOU at all.

What a dick (pardon my English).

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (17 October 2013):

CindyCares agony aunt Chase your dream. I don't want to jinx you, but what do you know if ten years from now you'll still be with the same boyfriend . Boyfriends come and go ( perhaps in India a bit less than in other places ?, but still... ) and instead if your start your career with the right foot and grab the best opportunity which you are offered, and build a platform for success, THAT in the long run is going to be much more useful to you. Unromantic maybe, nevertheless true.

Plus, it's not as if he is cut out from the opportunity- he could come along to the drive too if he wanted, you are not surely preventing him ! If he wants to be a wimp and stay hope and mope, - that's his choice, but it does not have to change your choice just because you are dating !

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2013):

He needs to grow up, you're not going to both get jobs at the same company and the sooner he realises this the better.

Many companies would move people to different departments should a relationship begin (depending on company it can be seen as a conflict of interest for example in banking a couple would not be employed at the same branch. I used to work for a bank that has that policy).

You've done better, he can't stop you from chasing your dreams and ambitions because he was not good enough:l. A supportive partner would be proud of you and encourage you regardless he sounds like he has the potential to be quite controlling if he wants to stop you doing this and look for places you'd go together.

Woman up and tell him your going for your ambitions if he can't support them then he's not good enough for you and will only hold you back.

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