| Latest articles: Gifts
No replies yet... 4 April 2018: This article is prompted by a question about take out soup. The OP felt slighted by her Boyfriend's offering. The subject is deeply symbolic, and crucial to a major love language and an important emotional need. The "Is the size of the take out ...
An old Uncle muses
No replies yet... 30 March 2017: My style of posting has been going through some changes and I thought I should share what's going on and why these changes. I'm rapidly moving into empty nest. I have 2 Daughters still living at home and they are both looking for their on place. ...
10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the cur10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the curbb
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
29 August 2014: Cindy wrote an excellent article:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ten-best-ways-for-a-woman-to-be.html I felt that the article needed a counterpoint for the guys. I've sure read about a lot of guys mistakes and while I'm sure I will miss some, he...
Rejection
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 October 2013: I just commented on a post by a guy who had a long history of rejection. The post tickled my memory all the way back to Junior High School (12 years of age). I was rejected a lot. I've got to say that out of the 15 or so girls in my class 10 ...
Wanted: Unattached Male
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 October 2010: I stumbled onto a news article online that has got me thinking. It was so much like a question here on "Dear Cupid". The author had just been through a breakup and was Writing advice based on her experience. She entitled the article something ...
Confessions of an Agony Uncle
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2009: On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...
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What does he mean by "family forever"?
Q. Im past my 100th date and during dinner the man I was with said that he and I would be family forever. I Was wondering if anyone knows what "family forever" means within the relationship.....
A. 11 April 2017: Oh, I was thinking you were settled. So there is a point in relationships where you have to take a risk. It is a balancing point. You wonder if they are trustworthy enough for you to take a significant risk. You do trust them but in the back of ... (read in full...)
What does he mean by "family forever"?
Q. Im past my 100th date and during dinner the man I was with said that he and I would be family forever. I Was wondering if anyone knows what "family forever" means within the relationship.....
A. 9 April 2017: Now we are getting somewhere. Thanks :)
OK 100 dates over 10 months with deployments and children. It sounds like ye is fairly committed to you and is putting a lot of effort into making sure dates are happening as often as possible.
No sex at t... (read in full...)
What does he mean by "family forever"?
Q. Im past my 100th date and during dinner the man I was with said that he and I would be family forever. I Was wondering if anyone knows what "family forever" means within the relationship.....
A. 8 April 2017: Thanks for the followups. I'm going to toss some math at you. And see if we can make heads or tails out of this.
100 dates. At one per day Would be 100 days, 14 weeks, 3 and 1/4 months or a really short time in relationship terms.
An average ... (read in full...)
In love with my online friend but my parents want me to marry my childhood friend!
Q. Hi there! I started to fall in love with a guy who is totally opposite of my dream guy. I found him in online. In short period of time I realized I love him. I don't know how to tell him. I'm scared that it might spoil my friendship. At the same ...
A. 7 April 2017: Avni,
Your own words are the guide to your answer. Your "crush" is just that a short term infatuation with some one you only know online. You really don't know who he is.
Your "friend" who you really want to preserve the relationship long ter... (read in full...)
My husband wants us to stays friends with the woman he cheated with!
Q. My husband cheated on me years ago. He hid it and never told me. When I found out he lied and said it was before we met and I should have asked him about her. But it wasn't. So he lied about his lie. He kept her as part of our friendship circle, but ...
A. 7 April 2017: Talk to a lawyer. He feels much the same way you do. He wants the marriage to continue because it is convenient, not because he loves you. It can not continue until this affair is resolved to your satisfaction. ... (read in full...)
What does he mean by "family forever"?
Q. Im past my 100th date and during dinner the man I was with said that he and I would be family forever. I Was wondering if anyone knows what "family forever" means within the relationship.....
A. 7 April 2017: Heck, I'm wondering what 100th date means. Give us some more hints.
Family forever would be a marriage proposal from a Mormon.
Or it could mean he loves you like a Sister.
I'm really grasping at straws here. ... (read in full...)
I want some good old attention from my husband!
Q. Is it wrong of me to want some good old fashioned sexual attention . My husband barely notices me . I dress up , get my hair and nails done regularly . Plan trips away . Yet all he is interested in is his girly sites online . I'm happy in my life ...
A. 5 April 2017: Well that leaves his habit as the major roadblock. No one gets younger. He is foolish to lust after 22 year olds. Apparently they believe all kinds of impossible things.
You may want to look into an addiction recovery program. If he is goin... (read in full...)
The person I like lives 4 hours away!
Q. So I met this guy on holiday. He's so sweet, funny, amazing and basically everything I ever dreamed of. I have his number and he has recently gone back home. I miss him already. He lives 4 hours away from me by car. Can long distance ever work? Has ...
A. 4 April 2017: At your age long distance is recommended. When I was your age I had several long distance relationships. of course back then we had to wait weeks for physical mail. now there are social media, texting video messaging, and so on.
As a person who ... (read in full...)
I want some good old attention from my husband!
Q. Is it wrong of me to want some good old fashioned sexual attention . My husband barely notices me . I dress up , get my hair and nails done regularly . Plan trips away . Yet all he is interested in is his girly sites online . I'm happy in my life ...
A. 4 April 2017: We need a lot more information before I can begin to offer advice. Here are some suggestions of the kind of information that would be useful.
Time in the relationship.
Children, how many , and ages, and if they are living at home.
Sexual fr... (read in full...)
Getting my love's past behavior out of my head
Q. Dear agony aunt, Please bear with me – my story might be a little long. But to make it short I work as an expat in a foreign country. I’m in my early thirties and about six months ago I met women who is 7 years my senior (also an expat, albeit...
A. 30 March 2017: So your desire is to move past this. And you know that that might not be the best choice. I want to give you something new to think about.
You are in love with the person she is now. What she is now is the result or the sum of her expe... (read in full...)
My mother has blocked contact can I get visitation rights to see my sisters?
Q. Well, idk how to start. Recently about a month ago my Mothers husband and I got into a disagreement because he yelled at my sister which is not his daughter and as always I defended . well my mom took his side and blocked me on Facebook and forced ...
A. 30 March 2017: Depending on the ages of your sisters, the best thing would be to send mail, or email. Send presents for special days. If your sisters are teens they will find a way to talk with you. If they are younger they will remember your kindness and ... (read in full...)
I'm in a sexless marriage due to my wife's depression and now menopause. What do I do?
Q. My wife had 10 months off work with work related depression now the menopause has struck We have not had sex for nearly 2 years and even sleep in different rooms at times as she is in bed by 9pm most nights due to the medication. I am now becoming ...
A. 29 March 2017: Man up,
180,
No More Mr. Nice guy,
And my favorite start doing things you like without her on weekends.
FA... (read in full...)
We booked a weekend away to save our relationship and he wants to play soccer! Am I selfish? Am I not a priority to him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been having fighting almost non-stop for the last 3 weeks with things being hard since the new year. Every time we make up and promise not to fight, we do it again. We have been together almost 2 years and been through ...
A. 29 March 2017: You are unreasonable. Here is my take on it. You arranged for Friday and Saturday and Sunday travel time. He didn't ask for any of the time that was arranged.
But, that is not the real point here. Where you are unreasonable is in that you want... (read in full...)
How do I explain culture difference?
Q. Dear agony aunts Since last December I have been seeing a man that I had feelings for the thing is he is not from the same culture as I am and we have absolutely different ways of living and expectations. Just yesterday he told me he is falling ...
A. 25 March 2017: Communicate. he has opened up to you , now it is time for you to explain your requirements.... (read in full...)
Does it sound like my boyfriend wants to get me pregnant?
Q. So I think my boyfriend wants me to get pregnant , without actually saying it . This is more of a question for the guys since they may know more about how they think. First of all we haven't been dating for long but he's already talked about get...
A. 25 March 2017: Run,
He is trying to make this decision for you by default. If he wants a baby now, he needs to find a partner who shares that desire and who is ready for it. ... (read in full...)
Is being too fast rude?
Q. Would you consider it rude if a guy gets off within two minutes if it's the first couple of times you've done anything together? I started dating a guy a couple months ago and we started taking out to the next level recently. So far we've done it ...
A. 21 March 2017: Good Reply Andie! Being considerate is the important thing.
There are some possible reasons for a quick finish. Perhaps he is just very turned on by you. Perhaps he has trained himself to be quick through excessive masturbation. Or Maybe it h... (read in full...)
Why does inexperience turn women off more than the other way around?
Q. Why does inexperience turn women off more than the other way around? Why is it that if a guy never had a girlfriend before, he is a turn off to the majority of girls that have had their fair share of boyfriends or just been in a relationship before, ...
A. 21 March 2017: You may have your cause and effect reversed.
Women, in general, have an emotional need for security. A history is some proof that you do know how to keep a relationship going. Many women like to think that they won, and were a better pick than... (read in full...)
I think he is lying! Am I overreacting? How do I approach it?
Q. I've been dating a guy for the past couple of months and although we are not yet in relationship we are seeing each other exclusively and have had the conversation about not seeing anyone else. He has treated me amazingly so far and I honestly...
A. 18 March 2017: So do your detective work and find out. Or since you are so sure you know, Drop him, it's not like you are in a relationship.... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to ruin our friendship but I don't want to lose her to another guy!
Q. So I have been friends with this girl for 7 months and the friendship has been amazing but the one thing is I want her, but she "doesn't want to ruin the friendship", but we have been in a relationship 3 months ago but we just took some time apart, ...
A. 17 March 2017: Well then, Honey is right the relationship wasn't working for her. She restated her intentions to keep you at a distance after a month. There is a fair chance that she is just trying to let you down gently by saying she values the friendship.
I... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to ruin our friendship but I don't want to lose her to another guy!
Q. So I have been friends with this girl for 7 months and the friendship has been amazing but the one thing is I want her, but she "doesn't want to ruin the friendship", but we have been in a relationship 3 months ago but we just took some time apart, ...
A. 16 March 2017: Good catch Honey, I misread that break bit. OP, did she give you the friendship line at the same time she initiated the Break?... (read in full...)
Does he not love me like I love him?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a bf that I have had a crush on ever since 2016 then we started dating 2017 of February 9th. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone else in my lifetime. Anyways he texts me constantly and I do to, but when i say i gtg love ...
A. 16 March 2017: Based solely on your age, he just isn't used to expressing that emotion in that way.
Be careful, you are in over your head.... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to ruin our friendship but I don't want to lose her to another guy!
Q. So I have been friends with this girl for 7 months and the friendship has been amazing but the one thing is I want her, but she "doesn't want to ruin the friendship", but we have been in a relationship 3 months ago but we just took some time apart, ...
A. 16 March 2017: "I don't want to ruin the friendship" is code for you are friend-zoned forever. Break off the "relationship" ASAP. she is using you.... (read in full...)
Can this LDR survive? He's just gone into the army!
Q. My boyfriends just got into the army gap year and has been 8 hours away for 4 days from where I live and he isn't aloud his phone except for about 30 mins on a Sunday and I already miss him so much. I was just wondering if anyone else has been in ...
A. 10 March 2017: 13680042 asks "I was just wondering if anyone else has been in the same situation before and if there relationship ended up working out?"
Yes I did, and if you are going to make a life with an army bloke you will need to be able to do this. 80 days... (read in full...)
He's so unhygienic it's putting me off him, am I being unreasonable?
Q. I have been dating for over a year. In the early days he was relatively tidy.The guy is increasingly becoming a slob. His whole place is like a teenages bedroom clothes, rushbish, hangers, money etc chucked on the floor, plates piled up in the ...
A. 10 March 2017: Am I being unreasonable?
Yes you are acting contrary to good reason and self interest. You are continuing to date a guy you see no future with.
Or did you mean Are you unreasonably for thinking of dumping him?
No that is actually the most rea... (read in full...)
Our relationship is going fine. But our sex life is declining. What could be the reason for this decline?
Q. Does sex life tend to decline after a few years? My girlfriend was virgin when she met me. She used to love sex, was extremely naughty and used to want it more than me. Now few years later she isn't really up for it. She says it not me, she does...
A. 4 March 2017: There are a lot of possibilities. Everything from hidden resentment to sexual orientation, or an outside interest. you could pound your head against a wall for years and never get any resolution, or satisfaction.
One way to look at it is she ... (read in full...)
I want to marry this guy, how soon can I propose to him?
Q. Im thinking of proposing to my boyfriend on our one year anniversary! The thought makes me super excited, not nervous or scared, like in previous relationships. So I just want to ask, what are your thoughts on feeling the way I do after such ...
A. 3 March 2017: I'm one of those that "knew" in a few months. You knowing is one thing. I would propose when you are sure he Knows. Then the engagement can take as long as you both need. Our engagement was around 2.5 years while we took care of things we had ... (read in full...)
I was cheating and my husband found out.
Q. Im a 28 year old female whos been having an intense sexual affair with another man for the past three years..my husband recently found out about us and told me to stop or else..I stopped seeing this other man, hoping my relationship with my husband ...
A. 1 March 2017: Since you are still stalking, calling, trying to set up a meeting, pining away for the other man and so on, you will soon be experiencing "or else". A nice guy only needs one thing from his emotional life partner and that one thing you can't give ... (read in full...)
How am I so bad with women?
Q. I'm at a place now where I'm rejected 100% of the time. It's mind boggling how awful I am at attracting women. They're put off my me almost immediately and if they're not, I get their number and they stop talking to me. It takes talent to be this ...
A. 28 February 2017: The best way to get her interest up is to turn around and walk away. You have to appear strong and independent. The big message to portray is that you don't need a relationship to complete yourself. Also don't be there every time. Let them wonder ... (read in full...)
Is there a way to hint to a guy that you are not interested?
Q. I went on a few dates with a guy, but I just didn’t feel a connection with him. He seems so enthusiastic about our next date, but I don’t want to date him anymore. So is there a way I can hint to him that I’m no longer interested? ...
A. 28 February 2017: You are an adult now. So is he. Call him up and break the date. Tell him clearly that you are not interested in any further dating or friendship. ... (read in full...)
What should I do? He told me that he "fell out of love" with me like a month ago and now it's too late?
Q. Me and my fight friend have been friends for almost 2 years, 10 months ago he told me he wanted to date. When he first told me he liked me I was really nervous and not ready. I was young, immature, I had a lot of things going on in my life such as ...
A. 27 February 2017: It sounds to me like he is stringing you along just in case his current romantic interest doesn't work out. You need to get some distance from him to get over this. I recommend a complete breakup with a no Contact Rule for at least 3 months.... (read in full...)
How can this be resolved? I want a Baby. He couldn't think of anything worse.
Q. My husband told me the other day he never wants to have children. I’m devastated. Don’t get me wrong I love him completely and can appreciate that it’s just how he feels but I feel angry and bitter and am having serious thoughts about leaving him if ...
A. 22 February 2017: As Billy said, "What I don't understand is how you married without discussing this first." It's kind of a big thing.
Second, Why does having a child mean giving up watching sports? I know a couple who are huge fans of American football and they... (read in full...)
I don't feel the 'spark' anymore. Is this reason to break up?
Q. I am quite young and have been going with a guy for 4 and a half months now. Sometimes i feel really attracted to him and can't wait to spend time with him, but recently i just don't feel that "spark" anymore. However this is definitely not a re...
A. 16 February 2017: One good reason to break up with him is because you are young and should be meeting and getting to know lots of guys. This is the time of life when you explore. so you found a guy that you like but the spark fizzled. It was a good experiment. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's grandmother died, should I go to the funeral?
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years grandma recently passed away. He's asking me to go to a funeral with him to comefort him. I told him I would feel out of place and not comefortable because I never really knew his grandma or other relatives besides his ...
A. 14 February 2017: You should go because you were invited. Funerals are a good time to get to know the whole clan. You will hear all the old stories, and get to know distant relatives that don't visit often. If you have any thoughts about this relationship ... (read in full...)
My LDR is not motivated to meet in real life.
Q. I've been dating my LDR boyfriend for over 2 years and we haven' met yet. He never wants to pinpoint a meeting date and acts unconfortable when I try to. He says he wants to improve himself first so when we meet he makes the best impression on me. ...
A. 13 February 2017: Situation sounds a lot like an excuse to me. How well have you vetted this guy? have you done any background check? I'm very suspicious.... (read in full...)
Should I go with him and be miserable or stay at home and get anxious?
Q. Dear Cupid I'm with my Current bf for a year, he never told me he loves me though I told him twice. He mentioned that he is not comfortable saying it, since it feels like forced for him. So we do not talk about love anymore. We live 45 minu...
A. 13 February 2017: ** OR a dessert.** sorry mistype
... (read in full...)
Should I go with him and be miserable or stay at home and get anxious?
Q. Dear Cupid I'm with my Current bf for a year, he never told me he loves me though I told him twice. He mentioned that he is not comfortable saying it, since it feels like forced for him. So we do not talk about love anymore. We live 45 minu...
A. 13 February 2017: "What should I do?"
My advice is that you take a weekend off and do something yourself. See how much you really need this lukewarm relationship. In fact I would advise you to cut him back to every other week. Do tell him what you are doing on w... (read in full...)
Is there any future for this marriage? Since he cheated I have turned to cheating too.
Q. My problem is I am not sexually attracted to my husband ,at all. The only way for me to be at ease is if I get really drunk to have sex with him .But he don't like that . I can't have sex sober with him.Since he cheated on me I lost all lost I had ...
A. 13 February 2017: Well Angel,
Some things that quickly come to mind are:
If you are that drunk you are not consenting to sexual activity.
Loss of attraction is normal with betrayal and cheating.
Rug sweeping is an ineffective method of solving infidelity issue... (read in full...)
Do women ever regret dumping a nice guy for a jerk?
Q. my question is do women, ever look back an wonder? they have been in a relationship for a while and the guy isn't very nice to them, not a gentleman or romantic, before him they were seeing a guy who was, but he wasn't a challenge,they thought he ...
A. 9 February 2017: Some times I reply quite quickly without double reading the Original post. The women have covered very well the topic of Nice Guys. you may need to pick through it to get all of the information you might need.
The trouble is there are guys who ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want me going out with male friends for drinks
Q. Am I in the wrong ? After recently starting uni I made a small group of three male friends whom I worked on an assessment with and we automatically became friends. We are all older than the normal uni starting age so its nice to have someone on ...
A. 9 February 2017: There's a term for Girls who think it's OK to mix other sex friends and alcohol. It's called single.
You should have and enforce your own sensible boundaries.... (read in full...)
Did we get together too soon after his break up?
Q. Hi, I started dating my boyfriend in Feb 16. He had just come out of a long term relationship. He says that although he loved his previous GF ( she was the longest he had ever dated anyone) it was a very rocky relationship. Only thing is we got...
A. 9 February 2017: Common wisdom is that you should be single for at least 10% of the time you were in the previous relationship. Your mileage may vary.... (read in full...)
Do women ever regret dumping a nice guy for a jerk?
Q. my question is do women, ever look back an wonder? they have been in a relationship for a while and the guy isn't very nice to them, not a gentleman or romantic, before him they were seeing a guy who was, but he wasn't a challenge,they thought he ...
A. 9 February 2017: Regret? Not enough to not do it again after the foolish nice guy takes her back.
Work on yourself and don't worry about encouraging karma. The truth is that most gals who date abusive men, continue to date more abusive men.... (read in full...)
Concerned about my sex life and I need some advice
Q. I have been in a relationship with my now fiance' for 2 1/2 years. Our sex life was great until we moved in with each other 1 year ago. I am not sure what but something changed. I have been open and honest about my feelings and my need, she says she ...
A. 8 February 2017: This is not the first promise. But I have no trouble with giving it another try. I give too many extra chances. I would seriously avoid pregnancy if I were in your shoes. ... (read in full...)
Slept with my best friend, My boyfriend is hurt, help?
Q. My best friend Michael and I always hang out on his bed and play video games, watch movies, listen to music, do work, or just talk. Last night we were just watching tv and taking about past senerios and we hit some that are sensitive to me and I ...
A. 7 February 2017: I am glad that you see clearly what you have done. Good luck with your lunch date today. What you are facing in a possible reconciliation after a physical affair is a very long and hard path. If you decide together to pursue this path you will ... (read in full...)
Does this married man fancy me?
Q. Does this matried man just like me or do you think he wants more? Reasons I think he does: Caught him staring at me and he smiled and shook his head a little. Saw him looking out of the corner of my eye and when I turned my head he averted his ...
A. 7 February 2017: His wife has every reason to be paranoid. His behavior is shocking. Perhaps I was wrong to suggest talking to her. The next obvious method is to stay physically close to your husband when this other man is around. You also need to do more than ... (read in full...)
Concerned about my sex life and I need some advice
Q. I have been in a relationship with my now fiance' for 2 1/2 years. Our sex life was great until we moved in with each other 1 year ago. I am not sure what but something changed. I have been open and honest about my feelings and my need, she says she ...
A. 7 February 2017: So the reason you moved in together before marriage was to test your compatibility. Test is over. You don't like living with this new lower level of sexual activity. Count yourself lucky that you know before children.... (read in full...)
Does this married man fancy me?
Q. Does this matried man just like me or do you think he wants more? Reasons I think he does: Caught him staring at me and he smiled and shook his head a little. Saw him looking out of the corner of my eye and when I turned my head he averted his ...
A. 6 February 2017: Apparently as a married woman you have spent a lot of time and energy thinking about and observing this man.
This is not just playing with fire, This is juggling Nitro glycerin. Statistics say that you are most likely to be attacked by a pers... (read in full...)
Slept with my best friend, My boyfriend is hurt, help?
Q. My best friend Michael and I always hang out on his bed and play video games, watch movies, listen to music, do work, or just talk. Last night we were just watching tv and taking about past senerios and we hit some that are sensitive to me and I ...
A. 6 February 2017: Dear Original poster,
There comes a time when mollycoddling is no longer helpful and the only thing that will help you is the bare bold truth.
Many foolish women are under the false belief that they can be close friends with men, and that there wi... (read in full...)
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