A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Does this matried man just like me or do you think he wants more?Reasons I think he does:Caught him staring at me and he smiled and shook his head a little.Saw him looking out of the corner of my eye and when I turned my head he averted his gaze really quickly.His eyes seem to twinkle at me.We started to get on really well and then he seemed to start getting nervous around me (running his hands through his hair, mumbling alot, short answers when I initiate the conversation)Hes confident though when he starts the conversationWhen he was 'dancing' he turned away from me and stroked his bottom LOL and then turned to his side and put his hand on his thigh and looked directly at me to see if I was looking.He glances at me before he leaves.Says my name alotLooks at me with wide eyes and always stands up straight and puffs his chest out around meAlways brushes my fingers when handing me somethingRecently has started to sit next to me and have our legs and knees touching and was bumping into me while we were walkingReasons I think he doesnt:He's 11 years olderHe's married as am I (once everyone was winding him up about fancying me in front of his wife and he didn't say he did and he didn't deny it either)He's a member of my husbands familyI understand that men will find women attractive even when married and I think I can safely say he does but with him starting to try and get closer could he possibly be after more? I know he cheated on his wife before they got married.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2017): This story is as old as time. And the people involved in this dance are pathetic.Focus on your own husband and if you aren't happy with him, then leave him.Same goes for him.To carry on like this in front of his own wife AND family, he is a true asshole. And if you reciprocate, you are one piece of work lady. Have you no self respect or empathy for other people? Imagine your husband flirting around with another woman in the family right in front of you and everyone else you know? How would that make you feel? Like shit? Then stop being an accomplice to it, hurting another woman. The woman who married him and LOVES him and is spending the rest of her life with him!He is a dog. Many men will try it on with another woman when they are BORED and see how far it can take them. So, to be expected a man will be prowling. But just know that as women, WE, and YOU are the gatekeepers. They can try as long and hard as they want, we keep the gate CLOSED. Ultimately, the power rests with the woman. She says yes or no. So, keep the gate closed.In fact, you need to do more.Tell him to back off and fuck off and pay ATTENTION TO HIS OWN WIFE!!!You are not being firm enough; you are keeping the gate open lady. So, stop it! You are a big part of this problem.You have a husband! Act like a wife! That is pathetic behaviour all to boost your fragile, needy little ego. Got news for you. Confident, sexy women do not NEED a man to pay attention to make them feel worthy. They KNOW they are sexy and worthy regardless. And they own that sexiness independent of anyone else. So, if you think whoring around and parading your goods for a pig of a guy makes you sexy, then you are sadly mistaken. What it makes you is EASY and DESPERATE. He knows it. Everybody knows it. Take back your value and tell him to fuck off.And then have a good long talk with your husband about the needs you have that he is NEGLECTING that have caused you to entertain thoughts of this other guy. Get yourself SOLID with your husband again!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2017): Why do you want to be the person he uses to get his flirtation/cheating on?
This guy might be flirting with a lot of women and seeing who's going to let him use them. I hope you value yourself more if you're looking for a more solid relationship.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 February 2017):
 It sounds to me like you actually want him to want you. My guess is you like the attention from him? It is a dangerous game you are playing and am not surprised that his wife dislikes you. Nip it in the bud and keep your distance.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2017): Maybe he does. Maybe he likes to flirt a little, in a harmless way. Maybe this is how he thinks men and women act as friends, who knows!
What I would ask of you is- why are you so concerned? Are you interested in him? Would you consider having an affair? If you weren't, then I wonder why you're intrigued about his actions!
If you have any intention of following up on his actions, then do what you wish. If not, leave him be. Let him get over his crush on his own!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (7 February 2017):
 No wonder the wife isn't going out of her way to be nice to you, she has a flirt for a husband who does this RIGHT in front of her face at FAMILY gatherings - how disrespectful!
Now if you don't engage in the flirting back there is no reason for her to be mad at you - but maybe she is just tired of it.
I can't even IMAGINE being in her shoes at a family gathering and my husband chasing other women. I would be so embarrassed.
I'd probably avoid him and be a little curt if he tries his "charm" on me.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (7 February 2017):
 His wife has every reason to be paranoid. His behavior is shocking. Perhaps I was wrong to suggest talking to her. The next obvious method is to stay physically close to your husband when this other man is around. You also need to do more than not flirt you need to actively resist his touching.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (7 February 2017):
 I think the real problem here is that you are intrigued by him and put probably a lot more significance on everything he does/says than he possibly means. I wonder if he is wondering exactly the same about you are you are about him? For example, I could imagine him catching you looking at him and wondering what YOUR agenda is. You are both married. If you find him attractive, that is fine. We are not suddenly immune to the appeal of others, just because we are with someone else. However, what we choose to do about it is what defines our moral compass. Be pleasant, be friendly, but draw the line at anything else. It is irrelevant what HE wants or thinks as you have no control over that. What you CAN control is how YOU act.I would suggest putting some of that energy that you are using obsessing about this man into your marriage.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2017): I don't flirt with him or anything I'm just quite observant and his behaviour stands out to me.His wife isn't really a pleasant person to speak to, at least not for me. She is paranoid about her husband and you can tell she does not like me. But I'm not the only person she's like that with.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (7 February 2017):
 It doesn't mean matter whether he does or not. Ignore him and keep things very distant. You're also married, which increases the need for being borderline aloof with this guy.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice + ♥, writes (6 February 2017):
Apparently as a married woman you have spent a lot of time and energy thinking about and observing this man.
This is not just playing with fire, This is juggling Nitro glycerin. Statistics say that you are most likely to be attacked by a person you are related to not by blood. In other words when your husband catches on, and he will, He is statistically more likely to blame you. You need to immediately throw some ice water on this flirting relationship. There are many ways to do it. Talking with his wife instead of him is one way.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (6 February 2017):
Does it really matter?
What matter is ARE you taking a fancy to him? And if you are, maybe you need to think twice (or 8 times) before going down that road that WILL tear the family (as you know it) apart.
If you don't, ignore it and don't encourage it. How would you feel if your husband did that to another woman RIGHT in front of you? It might have been done in a bit of fun, but it can still be viewed as disrespectful.
And avoid being alone with him. If he tries talking to you about his "attraction" or "passion" for you NIP IT IN the bud! by telling him you are not interested at all.
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A
male
reader, wiseoldman +, writes (6 February 2017):
He's married, so are you, and I strongly suggest you find yourself another obsession.
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