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I don't feel the 'spark' anymore. Is this reason to break up?

Tagged as: Faded love, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 February 2017) 4 Answers - (Newest, 22 February 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 13-15, anonymous writes:

I am quite young and have been going with a guy for 4 and a half months now. Sometimes i feel really attracted to him and can't wait to spend time with him, but recently i just don't feel that "spark" anymore.

However this is definitely not a reason to break up with him,Is it?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (22 February 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntI think it is normal when you are very young to be very excited at the start and then drift apart and lose that spark. You are still only a teenager, so you need to ask yourself are you really wanting to be in a relationship so young? Four and a half months is an extremely long time when you are so young.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom + , writes (17 February 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntI think that, at your age, it's a very good reason to break up. Most teen relationships don't last because it's normal to get bored of things quite quickly.

Everything should be age-appropriate and I think this sounds like a fair decision.

Stay safe, whoever you date :)

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (17 February 2017):

I suspect relationships at your age are a bit like seeing something nice in a shop window. You get very excited about it, absolutely MUST have it. Then, when you get it, the novelty soon wears off and it no longer excites you. Yes, it is nice to have but you are already looking for the next thing to get you excited.

This boy was probably very exciting at first but now that you have been going out with him for a while (relationships at your age seldom last very long), the novelty has worn off and you are looking around for someone who will make you feel excited again.

At your age this is completely normal. You are not meant to settle down so young. Each boyfriend will teach you what you want in a potential partner and what you don't want. Take away lessons from your relationship but don't hang in there if you no longer feel it is for you. End it kindly (face to face, politely) and move on.

If you were 10 years older and writing this, I would warn you not to get hooked on the excitement of the new. However, at your age, you have plenty of years ahead of you to work this out for yourself.

Get out there, enjoy life, have fun. (And, of course, stay safe.)

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (16 February 2017):

Fatherly Advice agony auntOne good reason to break up with him is because you are young and should be meeting and getting to know lots of guys. This is the time of life when you explore. so you found a guy that you like but the spark fizzled. It was a good experiment. you see some things you like either short term or they were overridden by something else that turned you off.

Also you may be learning the difference between an infatuation Crush, and a deeper lasting love. 4 months is pretty good for your age. Talk to him, be honest about your feelings. Take a few weeks to get him out of your system. Then start looking for someone a little better.

That's my best advice for a girl of your age, based on what little you have shared.

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