| Latest articles: Gifts
No replies yet... 4 April 2018: This article is prompted by a question about take out soup. The OP felt slighted by her Boyfriend's offering. The subject is deeply symbolic, and crucial to a major love language and an important emotional need. The "Is the size of the take out ...
An old Uncle muses
No replies yet... 30 March 2017: My style of posting has been going through some changes and I thought I should share what's going on and why these changes. I'm rapidly moving into empty nest. I have 2 Daughters still living at home and they are both looking for their on place. ...
10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the cur10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the curbb
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
29 August 2014: Cindy wrote an excellent article:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ten-best-ways-for-a-woman-to-be.html I felt that the article needed a counterpoint for the guys. I've sure read about a lot of guys mistakes and while I'm sure I will miss some, he...
Rejection
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 October 2013: I just commented on a post by a guy who had a long history of rejection. The post tickled my memory all the way back to Junior High School (12 years of age). I was rejected a lot. I've got to say that out of the 15 or so girls in my class 10 ...
Wanted: Unattached Male
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 October 2010: I stumbled onto a news article online that has got me thinking. It was so much like a question here on "Dear Cupid". The author had just been through a breakup and was Writing advice based on her experience. She entitled the article something ...
Confessions of an Agony Uncle
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2009: On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...
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My boyfriend ran into a guy from high school that made me feel insecure. I feel upset about their encounter
Q. Ive been dating a guy for a few months now. He has been very good to me , kind , caring, selfless, all those things. I hate that this has bothered me so, but it has. He shared with me tonight that he spent some time the other day with a guy I went ...
A. 4 October 2016: Dear anonymous Original Poster,
Whatever the history between you and your classmate is, apparently it still affects both of you. The emotions that divided you then are still alive and active.
You need to disassociate him (old classmate) from you... (read in full...)
My future husband doesn't want to raise a family where I want raise a family. How can we reach middle ground and negotiate a solution?
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I are the perfect match. We are contemplating marriage early next year which will take place in my families backyard in Atlanta. It will be a small, intimate wedding because we want to take the remaining funds we'v...
A. 1 October 2016: That is a pretty major difference of opinions.
Off the cuff I would advise you to hold off the wedding until you resolve it.
Some things you should consider.
He has gone back on a previous agreement. That is Bait and switch. Sell you one thin... (read in full...)
I lost the ring my wife purchased for me. She'll be very cross. What should I do?
Q. My wife left for Paris last week, and instead of going to work, coming home to a lovely empty apartment and playing video games like I been doing, my brother convinced me to hang out with him for the night. When I got there all the boys were the...
A. 1 October 2016: She can afford Paris, but gets upset over scratches on a soft metal ring?
This is why I wear Tungsten.
Fortunately, when the wedding band my wife bought for me got lost she was the one who lost it. Over the course of nearly 30 years of marriage... (read in full...)
Is being called ''plain and simple'' a compliment?
Q. Is being "Plain and Simple" a compliment? We were having dinner the other night and I asked my husband of over 20 years did it taste ok. I said its just plain food, meaning unprocessed. He said "Yes, Plain and Simple,just the way I like my women"...
A. 1 October 2016: There are many men in the world who don't appreciate high maintenance, drama queens. Ti them plain and simple is a complement. Usually they are smart enough not to say it out loud.
It has been my experience, as one of these men, that women beat... (read in full...)
My boyfriend just broke up with me and I am devastated
Q. My boyfriend of less than a year just broke up with me. I am 31. I feel so alone and devastated. He was everything you could want in a guy except he suffered from depression. He couldn't seem to get himself in the mainframe to love someone else. He ...
A. 27 September 2016: Sunshine is what you need Solovely. You have been living under a storm cloud for a year. Get out and do some things in the sun. Keep in touch. Let us know how you feel after 2 weeks, and three.
FA... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is moving into a house with a guy she once cheated with. I'm not happy about this!
Q. Hi, My girlfriend recently moved out into a student house. I've been with her for a few months but shes moving into a house with the boy who she cheated on her boyfriend with previously. He has no respect for boyfriends and always tries to hit on ...
A. 27 September 2016: Go back and change the title of this to "My Ex-Girlfriend is . . . .
That should solve it.
Coincidentally there are two posts today about how hard it is to get over exes. Read around and see what you are up against.
No demands, No Bargainin... (read in full...)
My husband called me uptight and its really bothering me. I want to discuss his actions but don't know how
Q. I don't know what to think of the fact that my husband called me uptight. It wouldn't have been such a big deal had he not said that I was like that all the time and that it bothered him that he had to keep his true nature in control. I don't w...
A. 23 September 2016: It is so nice that you reply and continue the conversation. I'm diabetic and due to that have been the rounds with ED for quite some time.
There is something you can do without seeing a doctor. It is fairly effective and could really help to b... (read in full...)
My husband called me uptight and its really bothering me. I want to discuss his actions but don't know how
Q. I don't know what to think of the fact that my husband called me uptight. It wouldn't have been such a big deal had he not said that I was like that all the time and that it bothered him that he had to keep his true nature in control. I don't w...
A. 22 September 2016: OK so he objectified a woman and expected you to join in?
You were right to be uptight. What he said was not amusing.
Yes a talk between you two about that is in order.
There is something else we need to talk about. Erectile Dysfunction.... (read in full...)
I want my sister back in my life but how?
Q. I (18,M) was playing basketball with my sister's (28,F) boyfriend CJ (25,M) a few days ago, and I was really starting to get frustrated because he's like 6 foot 4 and I'm 5 foot 4 so it was a blowout. He was talking a lot of trash and tried ...
A. 22 September 2016: Thanks Cindy, I don't really want to discuss basketball but it seems insuperable from the discussion.
when I said Every level of competition I meant EVERY level. From grade school to jail yard, to professional ball. Women are just as bad, in h... (read in full...)
I want my sister back in my life but how?
Q. I (18,M) was playing basketball with my sister's (28,F) boyfriend CJ (25,M) a few days ago, and I was really starting to get frustrated because he's like 6 foot 4 and I'm 5 foot 4 so it was a blowout. He was talking a lot of trash and tried ...
A. 21 September 2016: I seem to be drawing some fire for my stance against the older sister.
I did in fact characterize her behaviors as destructive, which when juxtapositioned against the damage done on the basketball court looks to be the lesser injury. I've deci... (read in full...)
I want my sister back in my life but how?
Q. I (18,M) was playing basketball with my sister's (28,F) boyfriend CJ (25,M) a few days ago, and I was really starting to get frustrated because he's like 6 foot 4 and I'm 5 foot 4 so it was a blowout. He was talking a lot of trash and tried ...
A. 21 September 2016: You have a pretty good attitude for someone your age, being able to value a person despite their behaviors. My advice would be to keep your guard up. The trouble with loving someone with destructive habits is that you will get hurt from time to ... (read in full...)
I get so emotional I cry about this crush almost every day! How should I tell this single man I have a crush on him?
Q. I have been thinking of leaving my job and returning to full time education to start my career, however, I have been having a big crush on my male colleague for almost three years now. I really like him and he is always on my mind. He is so handsome ...
A. 20 September 2016: I'm quite happy with your decision and your method of reinforcing your determination. I'm a bit worried about your faith that there is a MR. Right, and you won't have to do anything to catch him. Don't rule out the idea of some therapy. ... (read in full...)
How can I find a way to trust my boyfriend? Because I feel I can't trust him
Q. PLEASE HELP ME. I am at the END of my rope. I have been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and I just CANNOT trust him no matter what. No matter what he says or does. I CANNOT trust him. I CANNOT DO IT. It is making me paranoid, jealous, ins...
A. 16 September 2016: Do you know that he has cheated on you? Have you collected evidence? What has brought you to this place?... (read in full...)
I get so emotional I cry about this crush almost every day! How should I tell this single man I have a crush on him?
Q. I have been thinking of leaving my job and returning to full time education to start my career, however, I have been having a big crush on my male colleague for almost three years now. I really like him and he is always on my mind. He is so handsome ...
A. 14 September 2016: Just for clarification. Crushs last up to 6 weeks but sometimes a little as six minutes. Any Crush that exceeded 6 months is an Obsession. At this point you are pretty much at the creepy stalker stage.
Now don't get upset or think I am maki... (read in full...)
At 47 am I too short, or too big, or not pretty enough to ever be asked out by a guy?
Q. I am in my 40s I never thought I was pretty or good enough to date any guys. I had never went on date before, no guys ever ask me out Sometimes I think there something wrong with me I guess I am pretty enough for any guys to ask me out, or smart...
A. 14 September 2016: What are your goals, hobbies, interests? What are you looking for in a relationship? How willing are you to give up your niece / nephew nights to spend them developing a relationship?
At the age you are (not far from my age) Personal... (read in full...)
Do I lie to avoid hurting his feelings? I did have a crush on him, but I've fallen for another
Q. i have had a crush on someone for over a year now and i know he likes me to but just as he asks me out i realize i have fallen for someone else i told him to give me time to think about it but i dont want to hurt his feelings by telling him i do...
A. 22 August 2016: Dear Princess Pre.
Are you actually dating someone else or just crushing?
Because you may be missing a good bet here.
FA... (read in full...)
"You're the kind of weird guys think is interesting." What?
Q. Okay so I'm just a lot to confused on what one of my friends meant by this. I was at one of my male friends house, and he prompted to call me weird. I responded telling I know this, its not anything new to me. He followed by saying "yes but, you're ...
A. 22 August 2016: Hey Sarah,
Good to see you again. Can you give us a bit more information. And, is this the Same male friend from your previous posts?
It could be that you have hobbies and interests that he likes, it could be that you have a body type, or beaut... (read in full...)
Am I despicable for wanting to change my name? How to handle my family's potential response?
Q. I have a dilema. I feel like I have to choose between hurting my family and being miserable for the rest of my life. That's what it comes down to. I feel like I was born with the wrong name. There are people who are born the wrong gender, an...
A. 18 August 2016: Well ok Jane Doe Smith, from now on we will refer to you as Sparkle Sunshine Lollipop.
I'm mostly surprised at the amount of emotion and the strong words you use to describe how much you have been hurt by this simple name. When I was born my fath... (read in full...)
Met him on a dating app, he's perfect but I'm too self-conscious to meet him!
Q. Long story so I'll try to shorten it as much as possible. So I matched with this guy on tinder 10 months ago. We messaged for 18 hours non stop, slept for 3 then started again. It was an incredible instant connection. If I could describe my perf...
A. 18 August 2016: There is a bigger problem here. What exactly are you sending as occasional snap pics? Are you sending old pictures there too? You can't hide 30 kilo just by sending neck up pictures. You can make a life commitment to a guy without a date, but ... (read in full...)
Will quitting my retail job after 11 months look really bad?
Q. Hi there, I am 22 years old. From 17 to 21 i worked at the body shop as a sales consultant however was made redundant there as i could not do the hours they wanted me too as I had stressful universtiy work. Anyway, I moved to Manchester last ...
A. 15 August 2016: As an employer 2 jobs in five years looks a lot better than 5 jobs in 2 years, which I do see a lot. Jobs that last less than 6 months are a red flag. Jobs that last a year are pretty typical for students.
Now having said all of that, If I was ... (read in full...)
He's telling them our relationship has ended before he even told me. How do I let go and move on from him?
Q. My partner and I have been together 6 and a half years, since I was 16. We both live with my parents and over the course of our relationship we have done for 3-4 years. Roughly 2 years ago, my partner dumped me, for me it was completely out o...
A. 10 August 2016: I'd just like to add that when I say that I've spent my entire adult life with someone that equals your entire life plus the time you have been in a relationship with him.
The problem isn't that you have spent so long with him, the problem is that... (read in full...)
Why do I keep running into cheap dudes?
Q. Why do I keep running into men that are cheap,they always want something for nothing? I've ran into plenty of guys who want to use me for sex but then if I need something they won't have my back. Like why should I give u what u want but you can't ...
A. 2 August 2016: Quite simply young men in the US are quickly learning that they can live quite comfortably single on a very ow income. That the only reason they should pursue a career of substance is so they can attract the attention of a woman who would otherwise ... (read in full...)
Is it OK to steal him from his girl friend?
Q. I fancy my brother's close friend. He's two years older than me but I've known him for years. We've always had a thing many people have said he has a thing for me. He sadly has a gf with a girl I know but I am single now and he's been quite flirty ...
A. 25 July 2016: Nothing new but to give you the same answer from a guy. If he will cheat to be with you, then he will cheat on you. An honest person ends one relationship before starting a new one.
As for advice directly to you, A smart monkey doesn't monkey with... (read in full...)
We were forced to break up, and I don't know how to treat her when we see each other at school!
Q. Hey guys okay so I have an important question. My ex girlfriend and Iwwere forced to break up she had her phone taken away and this happened almost 2 months ago and we were pretty upset and we both said we won't give up on eachother at the time of ...
A. 20 July 2016: The thought going through my mind is how often will you see her and her tattle tale little brother when you are at University and they are in Highschool? So there must be something I'm missing.
My complete theory of high school dating for guys... (read in full...)
My partner lives in the old days!
Q. both me and my partner both work my partner thinks he lives in the old days thinks its down to the woman to do all the chores and dinner and gardening i feel this is very unfair he wants to get married and im undecided with way our relationship is ...
A. 20 July 2016: Well if you are already fighting about the chores. . . . .
Well compatibility may be the problem, but it could be something else. Some people just hate certain chores. my SIL hates cooking, My Wife hates folding Laundry, I hate hand washing dish... (read in full...)
I love some who I can't have. What should I do?
Q. What do you do when you've fallen for a guy who just ^^^ks with your head? Okay so one of my best friends a while ago we admitted we liked one another, but not wanting to jeopardize the friendship we agreed to keep things normal. Well that didn't ...
A. 29 June 2016: Sorry, Sarah,
I think I really missed with my advice. I thought I understood what he was saying, but I'm wrong. He is being stupid. Like you he thinks he can kiss and cuddle and share secrets and not have a relationship.
Unfortunately for you,... (read in full...)
I love some who I can't have. What should I do?
Q. What do you do when you've fallen for a guy who just ^^^ks with your head? Okay so one of my best friends a while ago we admitted we liked one another, but not wanting to jeopardize the friendship we agreed to keep things normal. Well that didn't ...
A. 29 June 2016: sarahbeara23 writes, "I can't lose my best friend"
Sarah, like many young women you seem to have a lot of unrealistic expectations. You want to dictate the terms of the relationship. Not just to him but also to your own heart. And it has been... (read in full...)
How long can I "play" hubby for her?
Q. Me [25 M] in love with [26 F] living with her bf for the past 9 years with two kids It's really a tough situation because I have fallen in love with her and she with me. But as is always the case when someone has been with another guy for 9 years ...
A. 28 June 2016: Dear 3much4u,
You are really in a bad situation. You are in an active Emotional affair with a work colleague. She is in a long term committed relationship with children. You only have her word for what is going on in her other relationship. You ... (read in full...)
What does the appearance of her toothbrush at my place mean?
Q. I've got a bit of a humorous question, however, it's also a serious one. Ladies, what does it really mean when you leave some of your belongings at a guys place? The girl I've been sleeping with for a while now just left (Cue the music: "Don don ...
A. 28 June 2016: It's tempting when the OP doesn't return and the topic is fun to wander off into forbidden paths.
I frequently have extra empty drawers in my Truck, but then again I'm a cabinet maker.... (read in full...)
Do we still have a future together? Right now it seems not
Q. I've been in a relationship for 7 years with someone I fell head over heels for in college. He was my first proper relationship and at 18. I thought I had found the one. Things progressed really quickly and after college we moved back home which is...
A. 27 June 2016: I am writing mostly because this post had only one answer. The answer was good and the Original poster has not made any follow up, but just in case she is still out there looking for more help here is my take on the situation.
You are not comp... (read in full...)
What does the appearance of her toothbrush at my place mean?
Q. I've got a bit of a humorous question, however, it's also a serious one. Ladies, what does it really mean when you leave some of your belongings at a guys place? The girl I've been sleeping with for a while now just left (Cue the music: "Don don ...
A. 27 June 2016: Color me confused. She said that leaving her toothbrush meant something. and then she did it.
Every thing else is guesswork. Except this, she forgets things all the time. So it could be accidental.
Really, I have no experience here and the ... (read in full...)
I told him white lie about my birthday, now what?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now. Things are great and we're in love. Only I feel so guilty about a little white lie I told him at the start of our relationship! He's 21 and when I met him I was 17, literally turning 18 in a month's ...
A. 17 June 2016: Good Job, and thanks for the update... (read in full...)
I told him white lie about my birthday, now what?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 months now. Things are great and we're in love. Only I feel so guilty about a little white lie I told him at the start of our relationship! He's 21 and when I met him I was 17, literally turning 18 in a month's ...
A. 16 June 2016: I see you have woven a tangled web. "Oh! what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive!" - Sir Walter Scott
In practice the longer you hold on to the lie the more lies you will have to tell to back it up. The longer the dece... (read in full...)
How do I bring up that I'm interested in a casual relationship with no sex?
Q. First things first, I must establish that I'm interested in getting married in the next 4-5 years, but I'm currently busy on placement in another state. I will eventually have to return either to my home state or move to another country for work, ...
A. 16 June 2016: Oh, I see. Actually I see this a lot being a small town person. We usually brush it off as big city arrogance, but that would not be helpful to you. So how can I convince you that there is more going on in this small town than you think. ... (read in full...)
How do I bring up that I'm interested in a casual relationship with no sex?
Q. First things first, I must establish that I'm interested in getting married in the next 4-5 years, but I'm currently busy on placement in another state. I will eventually have to return either to my home state or move to another country for work, ...
A. 15 June 2016: You seem to have an unrealistic life plan. You will travel and pursue your career for years and then magically you will be married, in just 4 - 5 years. What I am seeing, in online relationship forums, is that you actually plan on being married in ... (read in full...)
My Bf has developed an interest in larger size women. I don't know how to respond to him about this. What are my options?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years. We're very open with each other sexually and emotionally, however a couple of months ago I noticed he had striked an interest in larger women (ie following Instagram and Twitter accounts...
A. 14 June 2016: @ Daisy,
Before going into specific advice I would appreciate some more information.
Do you live together?
What are your plans for the relationship?
What is the "huge turn off" specifically? The dating sites, the betrayal of trust, his inter... (read in full...)
Breaking up and I've developed a crush on another guy already. Is my idea of moving on viable or a terrible idea?
Q. I need opinions... So my husband and I are ending things. For our own personal reasons. My husband was and is emotionally abusive and can't seem to change. We have a mutual friend that we both just starting hanging around. I, ( knowing th...
A. 14 June 2016: Seriously bad idea.
Reading between the lines you have been in a relationship for 9 years since you were 16 or younger. That relationship has been abusive for some of that time.
Basic rule of thumb, you should not get involved in any relation... (read in full...)
My boyfriends mom is overbearing. She follows him around?? Need help!
Q. We are both 23. He lives with his mother who has been out of a job for the past year. When I am there (23) and we are in his room she calls his name every 30 mins to do something for her. Its obvious he finds it annoying but he is always polite and ...
A. 14 June 2016: The obvious advice is no Dates until he has his own place, and do get that job.... (read in full...)
I broke the engagement, but what did I do wrong?
Q. Hello all. I'm new here and seeking some assistance with an issue I'm presently dealing with. I appreciate all who answer and want to apologize first hand for possible grammatical errors. Here goes: A little over two weeks ago I decided to call ...
A. 14 June 2016: Very well done. You were abused, you recognized it, you did not return violence, and you left the situation. Now it is about time you get into a healthy relationship for the first time in your life. Take a few months to get your self truly ... (read in full...)
Can anyone understand why I am so distressed about my husband masturbating to porn when I'm at work or when I'm asleep beside him?
Q. Hi A couple of months ago I discovered that my husband masturbates to porn while I am asleep or while I am not at home or working late. Our sex life is average, we have it at least 1-2 times per week, but I am always the one initiating i...
A. 8 June 2016: SVC has really hit it, the problem is that he is a lazy lover.
I want to bring in some other ideas that you might find helpful.
Couples that include masturbation in their sex lives successfully generally have this rule. The right of first re... (read in full...)
Exhausted ! What can I do? My Bf's video game playing wakes me up several times during the night.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been living for 5 months together now, and almost a year together. Our relationship has honestly been a lot of ups an downs, and the reason why I stay with him is because I do love him and he is the only and first man to ...
A. 8 June 2016: Actually a white noise generator will help a lot. Additional insulation is also helpful, but if it is him talking (does he shout / get excited?) you may need to box him in to make it quiet enough. I really think that you need to have an alternat... (read in full...)
Exhausted ! What can I do? My Bf's video game playing wakes me up several times during the night.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been living for 5 months together now, and almost a year together. Our relationship has honestly been a lot of ups an downs, and the reason why I stay with him is because I do love him and he is the only and first man to ...
A. 7 June 2016: I'm a big proponent of sleep compatibility. What I see here is you doing everything possible to live with this and him not plugging in headphones. Did I get that right?
One thing that is possible is to add a sheet of foam insulation between the ... (read in full...)
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