A
female
age
18-21,
*nonymouse256
writes:Sorry this is really long and kind of a rant but I need help sooooooo bad ??Me an my boyfriend have been having a few problems latlely and it feels like I'm going to lose him. We've been together for 1 year and 3 months today and I need him like he's my air. I get jealous really easy and when I talk to him online if he doesn't answer me when I'm inviting him over and I have to get an answer before a certain time I get annoyed and sometimes become really irritating and it's hard to stop that. Over the weekend he and I had a kinda bad fight for a couple like us because before then we rarely had fights. My dad asked me to ask him I he wanted to come to the movies with us and at first I asked normally and in the morning he still hadn't answered me so I called him and he didn't pick up so I called again 2 hours later. He had come online for a minute saw all my messages and didn't answer so I got Angry and told him to stop ignoring me. He came online,saw my messages again and still didn't answer me and I called him an asshole. At around 3pm he messaged back and sounded pretty upset and told me he just wanted a good relationship with me and that he felt like u didn't love him anymore and stuff like that and then today he seemed upset when he came to school and we had another tiny argument just before class. I feel like such a horrible girlfriend. I want to sort everything out with him but u don't know how. I need help with this situation so please please please help me!!!!!
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female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (22 November 2016):
 You really badgered him when he was making it pretty clear he did not want to participate in movie day. If I had someone harassing me and bullying me into hanging out, I would try to ignore that person too. Why do you think being impatient and unpleasant is the way to get your guy to agree with what your plan is for you two? I feel like you're just poking at a bees nest, and I don't know if it's out of curiosity, which would suggest a need of mutual communication, anxiety and wanting to create control out of a situation you feel you're losing control, or leftover anger/resentment from the previous fights. Regardless, you need to back off, try to exercise a little empathy and tell him when he's ready, you want to talk about where you two are heading.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2016): You first have to give him cooling-off time. After a recent argument, it's hard to get people to listen. The words you said in anger are still fresh in his memory, and you also hurt his feelings. You can't demand a response from him; sometimes he's just hanging-out at home, playing video games, or online. He just wants to be a kid, not constantly be a boyfriend.
Give him a chance to miss you a little. Anger fades with time and he'll start thinking more about missing you than what you said. You might also want to lighten up on it a little too; no boy is the air you breathe. You're getting way too intense for a couple of kids under 15. He may feel smothered and need some space.
He'll come around. Next time you see him, the first words that should come out of your mouth is you're very sorry about the mean things you said, and you miss him very much.
If that is not enough, and he refuses to even try to make-up; then he may have been ignoring you because he doesn't want to be your boyfriend anymore anyway. Your angry words just gave him the extra push he needed. He may be ignoring you because he's pulling away little by little.
In the future; if it's something really important, call. If he's getting slack about responding, he may feel you're taking up too much of his time. He just might be tired of being your 24/7 on-call boyfriend. He wants to chill, just be a kid, and do random stupid boy-stuff.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (21 November 2016):
 You need a face-to-face meeting. Be honest about what is happening, and what you expect. Ask what does he see as a problem and, importantly, listen.
Listening to what people say - and sometimes to what they don't say - is one of the most important life skills you will ever learn.
Decide how you want to proceed. It may be that he isn't ready for the type of commitment you expect. He might feel stifled. This is what you can learn when you have your intimate chat.
I hope it goes well for you.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (21 November 2016):
 I don't think you're going to like this, OP, but you're not in the right place for a relationship. You're both young and this happens a lot - when you're this jealous, you're not ready for a boyfriend.
Let this guy go and be single - enjoy school, friends, hobbies, etc. Don't rush things; you don't need a boyfriend.
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