A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:He is married for 7 months. And he wants me to be in secret relationship with him. We are close friends since very long time and back in our college days we used to like each other not genuinely but just like crush on each other. We got so infatuated with each other that we slept together once. Now he is married I have kept distance with him. We share a lot about his married life. He says he is happy but on other side he also shows that is least interested in his married life. Now he also wants me to be with him just like we used be before his marriage which is so odd for me. It would look like an extra marital affaire. He says he wants us to cuddle up and sometimes he says he wants to sleep with me. Whenever I discuss about his wife in such case he ignores it. In front of his wife he always try to be close with me though I run away. His wife tells me its okay for her if I be casual with him. And when I ask him if ever in his life he had genuine feelings me for he just manipulates the answer like he would say "No its nothing like that" or "I used to like you before but you didn't understand" or "I'm married right now and such question would put me in deep thoughts so don't ask such thing" or sometimes he would just say "I like you a lot and miss you..." and whenever I ask him in what sense you like me?! he would answer "you think/understand whatever you feel about my statement" and this doesn't give me the exact conclusion on what is the answer.please help what he is upto?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 November 2016):
 Simply put he loves his wife but he wants some fun with a girl who will let him. Now you need to ask are you okay with having sex with a married man who has no feelings for you or cares about how you feel?
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (24 November 2016):
 I will echo Denizen,
SURELY you have SOME sort of moral compass where you know that a "secret" relationship AKA sex or F-buddies is not appropriate.
HOW would you feel if your HUSBAND (if/when you marry) did that to you?
What you two have is not a friendship. AT all. That is now how friends are with each other. Ans if you can't woman up and tell him that you do NOT want to be his mistress on the side - maybe you should consider cutting the contact here...
Again.. HOW would you feel if this was YOUR husband trying to get another woman into bed? Who talked to her in an inappropriate way?
Shame on you for playing dumb! And shame on him for being SUCH a sucky husband AND friend.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (24 November 2016):
 OP, I hope you aren't so naive that you don't know what the guy wants but if you need it spelled out for you..he wants sex. He wants his wife and he wants you to be his little fling on the side, free extra sex/excitement. I hope that you are disgusted by his propositions and not considering going along with what he wants. He isn't a friend, and he isn't a good husband. Don't make the mistake of thinking that you mean more to him than a fun time. He would use you and then drop you in a heartbeat. Its time to end this friendship.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (24 November 2016):
 I think you know what he is up to: he wants to have a wife and a FWB on the side and thinks he can convince you to be his mistress. Frankly, I see no friendship between you and him but just a giant sexual game where he is stirring up stuff. Depending on social interaction, i would personally stop hanging around him either by easing out the contact or abruptly by simply going no contact. There is no point of keeping "friends" with a person who aims for sex which violates friendship norms.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (24 November 2016):
 Surely you have some sort of moral compass? You can't really need us to tell you how wrong this is, and what a complete douche bag your friend is wanting to inveigle you into an extra marital liaison only 7 months after he was married.
And what about you? Wake up! you can't truly believe this is right?
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