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My fiance lost his job and I'm freaking out about the money

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 November 2016) 5 Answers - (Newest, 9 November 2016)
A female Zambia age 30-35, *uphrasia writes:

Hai.....my fiance just lost his job. We are supposed to get married next year in June or July (haven't set a date yet). I have a full time job which pays well. My fiance is in school at the same time. He is getting a university degree.

The thing is, I am getting anxious about money. I feel overwhelmed. I have to come to terms with being the major provider between the two of us. I know he can find another job but who know how long that will take. Maybe I am just obsessing (I tends to do that a lot. I am a very anxious person. I overthink and I worry too much. I can't help it).

I guess what I want to know is, are there people out there in a similar situation. And how do they handle the money issues especially if it is just one person bringing the money. Thank you in advance.

View related questions: fiance, lost his job, money, university

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (9 November 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntOff course you are going to stress, weddings are expensive and you are going to worry how you can afford it because only one off you is bringing in an income.

Make up a budget so that you are both not over spending yet you still have the bills paid and money on the table. Have a plan with your fiance about how he is going to look for another job. As for the wedding if you cannot afford it you might need to look at setting it back for a while if you are wanting a big wedding, if not then maybe you could have a small family wedding that won't cost much.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2016):

I understand how you feel as I'm a bit of a worrier and I like to be in control. Losing a job is a big shock but it isn't the end of the world. I know as it's happened to me three times. I also had to endure a long period of ill health which meant I had to work part time.

If you have't done already look your finances and work out your income and expenditure. Some things are essential (like the rent/mortgage) but look for savings in all the other areas of your life. Look at each area, start with food. Could you buy cheaper alternatives? Cook more from scratch and plan meals better? Grow your own? Try new cheaper food? Buy reduced price food in the supermarket? Take your own food to work (if you buy it)? Then go on to other bills, transport, leisure etc. There are ALWAYS ways you can save on what you spend and although it can seem like you're just giving things up it's an opportunity to do new cheaper things and perhaps save money in the future. If you have expensive tastes now is a good time to curb them.

Your wedding is a separate thing. If necessary could it be moved back? Done cheaper than you are planning?

If you have a plan it should allay your fears and as you have a job that pays well no matter what you won't be destitute. Your life doesn't need to drastically change just be tweaked a bit so see this as a learning experience and a challenge.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (9 November 2016):

N91 agony auntAs brownwolf said, there is ALWAYS someone who is worse off than you.

It sucks I know, but your fiance will get another job and you'll be back to normal soon and you'll wonder why you even let it stress you.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (8 November 2016):

BrownWolf agony aunt

There are people out there who are homeless, no food, cancer, in a wheelchair, sick in bed all day, or just waiting to die.

If your fiance loosing his job is the only concern you have, then you should be giving thanks for what you do have.

Money cannot buy one more hour of life. What is point of having all the money in the world, when any minute could be your last time on Earth?

You have a job, a fiance, your health, food, a home...life is good. If you find out you have one hour left to live, then you can freak out.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (8 November 2016):

Denizen agony auntFor better or for worse, in sickness and in health. That's how it goes - the rough with the smooth. You can get by between you if you both try.

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