A
male
age
22-25,
*ississippisfinest
writes:Well this happened Saturday during her 18th Birthday celebration, after I left for the night. anyways she had a threesome with one of my best friends and my younger brother and lost her virginity as well. (they did it about four times that night), and I didn't even know about it till yesterday. I talked to my brother and I asked him when were you guys gonna tell me this and he said that I wasn't supposed to find out. she waited a whole weekend to tell me about this because at that time she wanted to have a threesome with me and another guy and I kept saying NO, so she went off and did her own thing, I try to forget it but it wont go away especially since I HAVENT EVEN HAD SEX, WITH HER YET she says she regrets ever doing and she was just experimenting. I'm just wondering what can help me get over this? I also told her that if she ever cheated on me again that it's over.
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best friend, cheated on me, threesome Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2016): Sorry this happened to you, at your age I know it can be earth shattering. You don't say how long you have been together or how serious. Obviously you are less serious to her than you hoped. If she was already thinking about a threesome then I can't believe she was a virgin. Even more, I could think there has been some abuse in her past. You probably don't have all the truth, I guess she was drinking, maybe she was taken advantage of. Again, if a virgin then the 4 times story sounds more like her being half raped. If you really like her and think you two connect then you have a lot of talking to do if you want a hope of this lasting. Sex is just penis in vagina, it can mean something or nothing, but it's a tough awakening for you. From my experience I would walk away with your head high, and tell your brother and so-called friend to take a hike as well. Good luck, better times will come.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 November 2016):
 Please follow all the advice you have been giving. Also get a new best friend, and have a word with your brother. He should have your back and well he doesn't. What age is your brother? I am sorry you have had to deal with this, how horrible. But you cannot forgive her. She done the worst possible thing on you. Don't let people walk all over you or they will do it for the rest off your life.
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A
male
reader, mississippisfinest +, writes (24 November 2016):
mississippisfinest is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for the advice
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2016): Dude, RUN.
NOW.
This is NOT the kind of cheating you forgive. It's not the kind of cheating you will get over. And it's not the kind of cheating she will stop doing if you put up with it.
There is NO WAY this will turn out well for you if you try to continue with her. I'm sorry but that is the truth. You need to deal with that.
In the long run a breakup is easier than dealing with what she did anyway. It won't ever stop hurting you to think about this if you stay with her. You could stay with her for 30 years and it will hurt the hell out of you every single day. NOT WORTH IT.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 November 2016):
 Just to add to the chorus of those asking, why are you still with her?
Additionally, you need to distance yourself from your friend and your brother. They knew she was your girlfriend and proceeded anyway.
Find people with similar values to hang out with and under no circumstances do you introduce your ex-best friend and your brother to any of them.
What a betrayal by your best friend and brother. Amazing you are still speaking to either of them.
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A
female
reader, Flower89  +, writes (23 November 2016):
 Sorry but no way would I trust her again.
She slept with your brother and friend 4x!
Sorry but I wouldn't believe she was a virgin either let me give you insight into a girls first time it hurts, no matter weither with your husband or whatever it hurts!
So four times and two different guys. She was no virgin!
I wouldn't trust het again and as of your brother I would be looking at your relationship with him too.
Sorry this has happened to you but don't be so. You deserve better.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 November 2016):
 I don't see the point in giving her another chance either. She cheated on you, with your friend and brother none the less. This is so far off into "I dont give a shit about you"-land, that I would just cut all contact and move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 November 2016):
 Seriously?
Why give her a second chance? And with someone who actually thinks a 3-some is a good way to have sex for the first time?
SHE had sex with your BROTHER... AND your best friend!
Are you sticking it out with her JUST so you can have sex with her too?
She didn't make a mistake here. SHE CHOSE to have sex with the two guys in your life you are closest to. 4 times. FOUR. That is not a mistake. And JUST experimenting? WTF? Like that is an excuse. Experimenting is something you do EITHER with your partner or when you are SINGLE. Otherwise, it's just plain old CHEATING.
So she would be totally OK with you having sex with her sister and her best friend because you were just experimenting?
Are you that desperate to have sex with her too, that you are willing to look like a total fool?
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (23 November 2016):
 I can't ever see this working for you. A trust was broken by her, by your brother, and by the friend. You should call it quits and find someone who will put you before anyone else.
For heavens sake we are not just animals. We don't copulate wherever, whenever and with whomever.
It is generous of you to try and accept her mistake, but I don't see you ever getting this out of your head.
Is there a shortage of girls in your area? Surely you can find someone in the county who has a higher moral standard than the one who proved such easy picking for your brother and his mate.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (23 November 2016):
 Are you kidding me Bro? She had a threesome with your best friend and brother and you're giving her another chance? Either you're the most forgiving person on the planet or a doormat.
That's one of the craziest things I've ever heard. I'd be dropping her and the 'friend' out of my life immediately. I'm pretty sure you can find a girl that won't cheat on you at all or are you that desperate for a girl that you need to stay with her?
Have some self respect man. Once may be a mistake, but 4 times in one night? Definitely not.
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