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Why is he lying about having a girlfriend?

Tagged as: Crushes, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 January 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 3 January 2016)
A female Singapore age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Long story short:

"Why does he lie about having a girlfriend when he does not have one?"

So I met this guy (lets name him X) in a game, he's pretty cool and we hit it off really well. We often talk on a group chat channel together with other players.

One day someone popped up the topic about girlfriend and X said he has a girlfriend that he knew his whole life ( X claims they're childhood friends) and that they live together.

I thought that's pretty cool and thought nothing of it, a few days later the topic came up again and X claimed his girlfriend is always sitting next to him watching him play and that she bakes for him often.

The group jokingly asked him to ask the "girlfriend" to say hi, knowing that he is in a sticky situation he blurted out that his girlfriend is a mute. We got really curious to know more about this couple because since she was mute he must know sign language. He didn't know any, he then said she didn't need to learn it too, she can do fine without sign language.

Okay we thought nothing of it and continued playing.

The back of my mind I kept thinking that X isn't really telling the truth from his tone of voice.

I talked about this to another player in the group chat and he didn't think much of it, but he secretly doesn't like X because he's a show off and acts like he knows better than everyone in the group.

Soon we started playing without the group ( so its just me and him ) and we started texting too, and he's extremely flirty when texting. I soon found out that we live pretty close to each other but I have yet to meet him.

I then went to stalk him on facebook ( ass move I know ) I found out that his "girlfriend", the one that he showed us, already has another person in her life. Which is super odd.

So the question that really boggles my mind is why did he lie about having a girlfriend and flirt with me?

View related questions: facebook, flirt, has a girlfriend, player, text

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (3 January 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI too think she is fictional. He wouldn't be the first guy (or girl) to lie about having a partner. He did shoot himself in the foot with the whole "mute" thing, just proves the guy is not a great liar.

I have played several online mmo's and met quite a few guy who spend most of their waking hours in the game, school/work with absolutely ZERO social life. Most of them single and most of them seemingly embarrassed that they are single.

HE didn't want to get teased about being single, so he made up a fake GF. He isn't good at lying and thus picked a girl he already knew. Thinking that none of you (the people he plays with) would check up on him or know the difference.. I mean WHY would you? What is it to you?

I agree that you ALL (the people who play with him) need to back off and leave him be on that subject. SO WHAT if he doesn't have a GF right now? Or if he NEVER had one?

If you don't want to flirt with a guy who claims to have a GF, then don't.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (2 January 2016):

Ciar agony auntI agree. He might be embarrassed because he doesn't have a girlfriend or perhaps has never had one. People write in to us all the time because they've never been kissed, never been in a relationship, or never had sex and they think this means there is something wrong with them.

His lie, if he is lying, is not meant to hurt or sabotage anyone else but to conceal something he thinks is lacking in himself, so please just leave it alone. Whether or not he has a girlfriend is his business and no one else's.

Stop gossiping and analyzing the guy with other players.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2016):

Gay or unconfirmed gay men in the closet often claim imaginary girlfriends to either stave-off the advances of women; or to fit into a heterosexual situation that he feels would not accept it.

Sometimes guys don't like very aggressive females, and get them to back-off by claiming to have a girlfriend. Or, if he's not attracted to a particular female who is persistent regardless of his attempts to get her to back-off, he has to come-up with an excuse to avoid hurting her feelings. If he really had a girlfriend, she'd appear at some point.

Stop pushing the issue. Maybe he's embarrassed, because he never had one. If he lies about it, he's protecting himself. So let him be about it.

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