A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So my bf has a friend coming over from California. We live in Texas and this guy came yesterday. I live by myself and I know the lonely times sometimes are just annoying me. Anyway my bf told me today that he will come and his friend to my place to just say hi around 10-11pm. I asked him why you want to come so late? He answered because I'm doing laundry and after I will show my friend the city. I got so angry and sad and told him why you don't say to me ok let's go and show the city to my friend? I told him you know I am alone here all the time and some company outside of work will be nice. He got all mad and say that he's not going anywhere because he's broke and he paid rent and stuff and doesn't have money. I told him you just said you are going to show the city to your friend. Is this something that you want to do alone? Don't use the excuse of money because I am not asking for it. He told me ok I am tired of you and he hung up the phone. Do I am overreacting? Is this a male thing? Do I am being needy? I got furious just to think they will come over to my apartment and chit chat for half an hour then leave me all alone here without invite me come along...
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (29 December 2015):
 I don't think there's anything wrong with a short visit just to introduce you, as long as that is made clear from the beginning. It's the hour I would have issue with.
If I'm home at 10pm I'm ready for bed, mentally if not physically. I don't even take phone calls from people at that hour, unless it's family for something specific and important or my closest friend I've known all my life. It's not small talk or game face time.
OP, from what I've read here you have a knack for turning the smallest incident into a nuclear event. You're a grown woman and it's up to you to find meaning to your life. It's not up to your boyfriend to keep you occupied and entertained.
A
female
reader, signlike +, writes (29 December 2015):
Yeah I mean you have every right to say he can't just stop by your apartment for an hour and skedaddle. I wouldn't get so worked up about it though, like everyone's saying. He's probably just excited to see his friend. If you feel he /never/ spends any time with you that's a bigger issue entirely.
Anyway, hope you guys work it out. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (27 December 2015):
I think 10-11pm is rather late to be stopping by but I agree with Honeypie that you're being needy and unreasonable.You should have just told him it was late but to have a good time with his friend. It would be a good idea for you to make sone friends of your own instead of expecting your boyfriend to entertain you all the time.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 December 2015):
 I think you are being needy and a bit unreasonable. It's NOT just a "guy thing". If I had a friend come visit I'd probably take him/her out WITHOUT my husband and kids to show that friend around. So I could get some time to talk about the past, catch up, all the things we do when we are around friends in person versus over the phone/e-mail etc.
I think it's pretty reasonable that HE (your bf) wanted to spend some alone time with HIS friend.
I don't think because you are the GF you are OWED to be entertained by him and his friend. My guess is your BF will NOT stop by your place at all. Not with that attitude.
YOU need to find things to entertain yourself with. Make some friend of your own. Relying 100% on a BF to provide that for you is unrealistic.
What is holding you back from making some friends of your own? To have hobbies that takes you out of the house?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2015): It's not your friend, it's his friend so he wanted some time to catch up. They were going to come and chat anyway but then he wanted to spend time with a person he can hardly see as they live in different states.
You sound like you rely on your bf for stopping you from being lonely, but it's up to you to sort that out for yourself. If you're fed up then join a club or an exercise class and get to know people and it gives you something to do instead of sitting at home alone waiting for your bf to be free. You probably didn't need to get angry and sad about this situation, you could've handled it differently and understood he wants time with his friend and I was nice he was even considering stopping by yours for a bit. It was a bit of an overreaction to get angry and sad because you weren't invited.
Don't live your life being dependent on a boyfriend. Make yourself happy, then everything becomes simpler and you can enjoy time with people. Go out and do things with your own friends and if you don't have friends then join something and get chatting to people. Xx
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