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Am I an idiot to keep responding to him?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Friends with Benefits, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 January 2016) 6 Answers - (Newest, 14 January 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Met a guy from a dating site 2 years ago. Met him on and off throughout and we just meet for sex. last time i saw him was about two months ago. I would of liked him to of wanted more then sex but i know he doesn't. The sex is alright but i know he is only out for his own pleasure. When ive told him i can't be a text buddy anymore or i wont get used again he ignores what i say and will not get intouch for a while then he gets intouch out of the blue after a couple of weeks. Sometimes im glad to hear from him even thou i know he only wants sex and i will feel used. He went on holiday texted me and it went like this. Xx i sent ? a smiley face back then he sent ??i asked was he trying to tell me something he said maybe ?i asked what he was telling me he said, i own your booty ?? I said so you like me that much he said, show me what your worth? i said i didnt need to he already knew he said show me your sexy body baby ?i said why he already knew what it looks like he said it turns him on ?. I said its no good sending pics its not the same he said, true but still good ?makes me want you more. I said but you dont wish to see me he said, i want to see you in person but also want to see you when i cant in person you know? I love your sexy body, show me it ?. I asked was he still away he said back tomorrow, i asked if he had been on hols he said yea and missing your body ?? show me ?. I said he must of had his fair share away so why see mine he said none babe been with family! I like yours. So i did send two pics, he said sexy ? and i love your body and you ?show me all of you baby!??. I said all good things are worth waiting for wheres yours, he said i want more!! Dont be shy thats boring ?? i know your sexier then that ??he sent me one pic. I told him i cant do text chatting anymore its going no where it was fun while it lasted you dont want me full time so goodbye. He said when he gets back he will f..k the shit out of me then ?. Is he just a immature idiot who has treated me like a door mat and text buddy and only out to use me. Am i a idiot for keep responding to him?

View related questions: I love you, immature, on holiday, shy, text

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (14 January 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt Emphatically yes and yes.

" When I told him that I can't be a text buddy anymore, he ignores me... " Well ? Ignore him back ! Don't reply when he contacts you ! Don't engagé him in conversation ! Even better, just block him and be done !

What's in it for you if you keep letting him push you around ?... That you get to help a selfish jerk to wank off from the comfort of his home ? Uh big satisfaction. I think you SHOULD aspire to something more.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (14 January 2016):

Ciar agony auntYes and yes. I have to agree with Honeypie.

His agenda is so blatantly obvious, OP, there is no other way to read it.

I'm surprised you aren't bored with him already.

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A male reader, eddie85 United States +, writes (14 January 2016):

eddie85 agony auntI think you really need to decide what you are looking for. At the get go, I think you were looking for a fling and if something became of it, then you'd be onboard.

But after 2 years, the relationship hasn't even really taken hold. And from your post, I suspect you really want and crave more.

Usually when a relationship starts and it is based entirely on sex, it can be very hard to switch gears. Having meaningless sex is pretty easy and all right if that's what you want. But if your soul craves more than that, you have to ask yourself, "Are you really compatible with this guy?"

From the sounds of it, you aren't. I haven't seen any basis of any sort of deep relationship or compatibility. Nor do I detect that you even think of him as someone you truly want in your life.

The longer you keep in contact with this guy, the longer you will be held back from finding what you are truly looking for. Meaningful relationships are rarely acquired from sex-buddies.

I think it is time for you to ask yourself where you are at in life and what you really want. If the occasional human contact is all you require and you aren't too particular, this guy may do. But you wouldn't be here if that's all you wanted. I hope you take the steps to get whatever it is you desire (you just first need to figure it out). At the very least you can do better in the friends department.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (13 January 2016):

Honeypie agony auntAm i a idiot for keep responding to him?

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You already know THAT answer (which is yes).

BLOCK his number! It's not hard or if that is too costly, consider getting a new phone number. Pretend he fell of the Earth and move on.

You say you don't like feeling used, yet.... you LET him use you and then discard you, over and over.

How about stopping this cycle? If hoping he wants more, then being used, then feeling bad about yourself... then feeling mad at him...

Just stop. YOU don't owe him sex. You don't owe him naked pictures. You don't owe him SQUAT.

I have to say, you are OLD enough to know better, am I right?

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A female reader, Ormskirk360 United Kingdom +, writes (13 January 2016):

Ormskirk360 agony auntYes.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (13 January 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntFrom the way he is talking yes he is only using you for sex, that much is clear. So if this is not what you want then get him out of your life, at the minute he doesn't respect you as a potential girlfriend he sees you as someone who he can have sex with until someone comes along. If this is not the girl you want to be then tell him that and block him from your life.

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