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Should I tell him I'm thinking of changing jobs?

Tagged as: Crushes, Flirting<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 November 2016) 4 Answers - (Newest, 4 November 2016)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Dear Aunts/Unclesr

Cutting a long story short. I met a guy at work. He started flirting. It was a while before I noticed him. I started flirting back then he went cold. I think because I was coming on to him too quickly as I was starting to fancy him. He is keeping everything professional and appears to not to want to mix business with leisure . He knows how I feel about him and that is just through body language .

I was thinking of telling him that I thinking of changing jobs . See if that stirs things up?

Any advice ?

View related questions: at work, flirt

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (4 November 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntHe is not interested in you romantically. He may be a flirty person by nature and you read to much in to this. I think you need to accept that he is keeping his distance, telling lies about changing job is not going to make him want you therefore just accept it and be professional at the work place.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (2 November 2016):

Ciar agony aunt41-50? Really?

He's not interested and learning that you're changing jobs is not going to make him interested. He engaged in what he thought was harmless fun and expected you to intuit his intentions. Unfortunately, like many people, you developed a crush instead. It was childish of him, but making up stories to try to entice him is just as silly.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (2 November 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt I don't see what you would accomplosh by telling him that you are " thinking " of changing jobs.

If he is keeping everything professional and he won't mix business with leisure- nothing will happen anyway until you are actually still working there. At most ( i.e., in case he is still interested, and it was not simply a kill-time, recreational, fleeting flirtation , never really meant to signify much, as it happens so frequently in workplaces ) he will think : good. Then I might go after her... once she goes to work elsewhere.

But then, what would you do ? Would you really quit your job there and then ! - and all to make a guy who went cold pay some attention again ?..

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 November 2016):

Honeypie agony auntSo you think you can re-kindle some interest by telling a lie?

What kind of logic is that?

Why not JUST accept that he decided that a "workplace romance" wasn't for him?

Maybe he did it, in the beginning, to be friendly, but you misread and flirted back. It would make sense since HE stopped immediately with the flirting. Or he HAS a gf/partner already and therefore he stopped.

My guess is he WAS not looking for romance when he flirted with you.

So no, I don't think you should fabricate a lie to try and make yourself look like a dating option. I mean really? So what are you going to do if he does or doesn't bite... quit your job? Make up a new lie?

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